"Mum, I'm going out and ewww!" I walk down the stairs and wish I hadn't. My parents were kissing. French style...The duck was watching.
I drag Carol out of the house, just to save her from going mental. Now we have a plan (yes the plan mwhahaha) and it includes two sex bombs. I'm telling Carol to remember to be sexy and tall.
"Tall! How can I be tall?"
"Well Mizz magazine says boys find tall girls sexy, just stand on your tippy toes." I motion.
Oh jebus nipples! My hair, my face oh poo...A blonde boy (fit as!) walks towards us and opens his mouth, "Is this the loon land of loons?" Oh great he is part of the twist drunk gang. How can someone be so fit and so dreamy to be in that gang?
"Well is it? Those lads told me to ask you." The fit boy says gesturing to the twist drunk gang's hideout.
I shake my head and Carol just stares with her mouth open, yes she has a big mouth so it's not attractive. We have to drag ourselves away just to do our sex bomb plan (yes the plan mwhahaha). Why do we have to do the plan when I look like a female monkey? OK I'm going to tell you the plan….Naaa. Well the new boys at school are super fit! Me and Carol know where they live and now we are going to try and get their numbers. Great plan!
"O.M.G! I have duck poo in my hair!" I scream.