Impossible Love
Chapter Two: Jacob and Renesmee
(Jacob and Renesmee are having relationship issues as Renesmee wants to be a normal person, but sort of can't with a werewolf on her case 24/7.)
That amount of adoration and unconditional love is almost too much to resist…or it can be the most annoying thing in the history of the world…
"Why is he staring at you like that?"
Nessie's head swivelled, looking around the cafeteria. She knew he was there. She could feel him. She was just too ticked off to do it delicately. Especially since her friends had warned her of his intense glare, a deep concentration on her that she'd been living with all her life. All seven years of it. She was forever seventeen and forever having to deal with the bothersome Jacob Black.
Their gazes collided, eyes locking and annoyance flaring on both sides. He was obviously annoyed at being left out, and she was most definitely annoyed. There had been a time when her world revolved around Jacob, a time when he was her playmate, her giant wolf friend who carried her around, her shoulder to cry on as she changed and matured faster than the years allowed. Not anymore.
She rolled her eyes, nodded to her friends and picked up her cafeteria tray before standing to walk away. Nessie saw when Jacob's eyes brightened the second she started forward. This made her want to take the tray in her hands and bash him over the head with it. Instead she just moved across the cafeteria to where he was, sat down beside him, took his hand, and squeezed his fingers with all her might.
As a half mortal-half immortal being, she had much more strength in her system than her parents or other vampires. She had learned this one evening discussing it with Carlisle, whom she called Carlisle instead of Grandpa, mostly because he would never look old enough to be a Grandpa. Apparently due to the uncommon mix of vampire strength and her human blood enabled her to be twice as strong as regular vampires.
So squeezing Jacob's fingers as hard as she could manage elicited a slight grunt before the initial cracking of the bones as they broke.
"Ouch, damnit!" Jacob hissed under his breath, trying to maintain a cool head. "Nessie that hurts."
Nessie simply smiled. As she squeezed harder and yanked him closer with his arm, her gift shouted words and thoughts in his direction. "What the hell are you doing here, Jacob?"
Through gritted teeth he replied, "Let go of my hand and I'll tell you." She let go and he shook his hand trying to (a) bring the feeling back to his fingers and (b) make sure the broken bones healed back straight. "Geez, Nessie. That really hurt."
"So you've said, Black, now spill. What the hell are you doing here?"
The cocky, laughing smirk that Jacob usually gave her mother was replaced with utter sincerity. He and Bella Cullen had known each other forever, and the jokes between them were endless. But unlike her mother, Nessie knew if she punched Jacob in the face, he would most definitely flinch. She might even break his face.
The sincerity never left his expression. "I was worried about you."
Nessie rolled her eyes. "You're always worried about me. You. My mother. My father. You all need to just focus on your own lives right now. I'm focusing on mine."
"But there are too many variables, Nessie," Jacob urged.
"Don't talk to me about variables, Black. My aging, risking our existence by staying here, The Volturi, heck, even marriage as far as my parents are concerned, they are all big variables to be considered. Sure, but not right now. It's been seven years. I remember the last time the Volturi were here. I remember it all you know. It's not like I was some kind of infant."
Jacob heaved a sigh, "But you were, Nessie. You absolutely were, and you're still too young to be making these kinds of decisions by yourself." He reached out and grabbed her hand. "You have to believe that I am just doing what is best for you."
"What's best for me? For me? Are you sure you're not just keeping an eye on what's yours? Huh? Let's say we cut the crap, and you just admit that you want to protect me because I belong to you and you can't handle my need for freedom?"
She raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to deny it. But he had been in her life for far too long, and she knew him far too well. He wouldn't deny it. He would change the subject instead, thinking it would deter Nessie's thoughts. It was a sad conclusion that despite her gift and despite having lived in close proximity to Jacob for the past seven years of her life, he still didn't know her that well.
Nessie stood and started to walk away from the cafeteria table. She glanced back to where her friends were sitting and sighed with the realization that soon she would have to leave them. She looked young. Too young. At least her parents looked a little older than she did. Her mother perhaps not so much, but her father definitely looked older. Edward Cullen was from a different era, and had matured a lot faster in his youth than Bella Cullen, née Swan. She had been ready for her fate a lot quicker than Edward, but she was still young.
Knowing that Jake was following her out, Nessie went to her locker, dialled the combination quickly, retrieved her belongings, her car keys, and then make a quick dash for the door. As she was walking out the front door of the school she caught a glimpse of Jacob's black motorbike. She eyed it, briefly considering stealing it. But she decided against it, knowing her sports car was faster than his bike. But just to slow him down, as she swooped by the bike she nicked the keys that were still hanging in the ignition. It wouldn't slow him down much, but it would at the very least inconvenience him.
She clicked the button on her automatic key lock and the door of her Audi R8 GT swung open and she tossed her backpack across to the passenger side and settled into the driver's seat. She had three more hours of class, but this was the only way she knew how to sufficiently get rid of Jacob.
Putting her baby in gear she reversed, and looking out the rear window she could see Jacob searching for his bike keys. She zipped down her window and held her hand out, dangling the keys on her fingers. He saw and she revved the engine and took off out of the school parking lot.
Zooming along the highway, Nessie brought her arm back into the car, tossed the bike keys on the dash and put pedal to the metal. Her aim: to get as far away from Jake as she could manage, at least for the time being. He'd be at home when she pulled up to the Cullen residence, but at least she didn't have to deal with his bullshit right then.
She was heading around a corner at a hundred miles an hour when she noticed a yellow Porsche in her rear-view mirror. Giving a resentful sigh she slowed her speed but didn't stop. It wasn't until a red Ferrari pulled out from behind the Porsche and passed the Audi that Nessie got severely ticked off.
She pulled over on the shoulder of the road and smacked her hand off the steering wheel. "God damnit!" she exclaimed. "Can't I get some damned peace and quiet around here?"
Alice's head popped into the driver's window. "I'm sure you could kid, so long as you're not alone."
"That's not really the same thing," Nessie ground out.
Nessie looked ahead to see Rose getting out of her Ferrari and walked over to the Audi in her stiletto heeled boots, fiery red leather jacket and striking blonde hair. As much as Nessie loved Rose, sometimes she could be worse than Jacob.
"Taking off...again?" Rose said with a smile on her face. "Such a rebellious teenager."
"Yeah, I'm a rebellious teenager who needs space. All this coddling is starting to get on my nerves." I held the steering wheel and used all my restraint to resist ripping it off and tearing it to bits.
"Who got you all twisted out of joint anyways?" Alice asked, obviously having just seen Nessie taking off and not the cause behind it. Jacob, for all intents and purposes, was hidden from Alice's uncannily accurate premonitions.
Rose's eyebrow lifted slightly. She knew what had caused this. "Two guesses, Alice."
Alice frowned. "Damn that Jacob Black and his wolf-pack. I hate it how I can't see them, especially when Jacob's hurting our Renesmee."
"I'd like to be nobody's Renesmee," Nessie muttered.
"You'd best talk to your parents if that's your issue, Nessie. I'm sure they could reign in Jacob a bit too." Alice's suggestion had Nessie reaching for the keys in her ignition again.
"I could take care of Jacob if I wanted to. I swear he'd be dust within a matter of seconds. But Mom would never let me, and I'm pretty sure I'd regret it later. I'll just ask to see if we can go on a vacation somewhere. I don't really know." She turned the keys and the Audi engine roared to life. "You guys tailing me home?"
Rose nodded, "Right behind you, Squirt." Her playful attitude said that she was neither agitated nor upset at Nessie's ditching school. Although this was her first go around of high school, Nessie would get the opportunity several times in her life, so it wasn't a big deal.
Nessie hit the gas and was off like a shot, up the road and following the various twists and turns to get to the Cullen residence...where Jacob was indeed waiting.
Nessie scowled, grabbed her backpack and Jacob's bike keys. No bike in sight meant he had gone all wolf and run back. She threw the keys in his direction, not caring whether he caught them or not.
She whipped up the stone steps that went to the front door, wrenched it open and started yelling. "Mom! Dad!"
They were at the top of the stairs in a flash. Behind them were Carlisle and Esme, looking the part of concerned grandparents.
Her mother descended the stairs first, having a very close connection to her daughter. "What is it, Renesmee?" Bella was the only one who still regularly called Nessie by her whole name. Having detested the nickname when Nessie was born gave her strong aversion to name. "What's wrong?"
Nessie held out her hand to her mother, feeling that this was the best way to communicate everything that had happened. Her father would be reading her mind as Nessie told her mother everything.
Edward was finished reading his daughter before Nessie had finished telling Bella her story. He was down the stairs and out the front door before Nessie could blink, but she was used to that.
Her mom took her hand in kind then and said, "Don't worry. We'll handle this. Jake has got to learn his boundaries. I never was the moody teenager who wanted to be left alone. He infuriated me beyond belief sometimes though, and I wanted to tear him limb-from-limb. I'm thankful you haven't resorted to that yet." Her smile was endearing and Nessie breathed a sigh of relief. She knew her mother of all people would understand. "We'd best go outside now though, just to make sure your father hasn't dismembered Jake. He wouldn't like himself too much afterwards."
Nessie and Bella walked out the front door expecting to see Edward and Jake fighting to the death, but what they saw instead they had not been prepared for.
Jane and Alec had returned.
Mirroring each other's movements, Edward and Jacob were facing the Volturi guards, praying with their lives that this would not end in bloodshed.
Nessie's first instinct, because there was still some part of her deep down that claimed Jacob as her own, she rushed forward and put her hand on his arm. His arms went out immediately to shield her from the oncoming Volturi guards. He was the one who should have been behind her really, he should have been behind everyone because he was the only non-vampire entity in the area, but instead he stood his ground. Being a werewolf, and being Jacob, by nature made him cocky and protective of Nessie.
She glanced behind her and saw her mother staring at Jane and Alec. Bella knew, just as well as Nessie did that the things they were capable of would harm more than one person in this family. Her shield would go up instinctively. Being a vampire for the last 7 years had given her a lot of time to work on her skills. There had never been another threat in all those years, but still she prepared and worked her mind, knowing that at any day the Volturi could come back. And they had.
Edward spoke from in front of Nessie and she glanced back. "Welcome, Jane, Alec, what brings you to our part of the world?" He was gracious and welcoming, but Nessie knew he'd be reading every single thought that they were thinking. He knew why they'd come, but the rest of the family, including Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice and Rose, who had gathered behind Bella mother now, did not know. It occurred to Nessie then that Alice had not seen this coming and she wondered why?
With her fingers still resting on Jake's arm Nessie awaited Jane's answer, because it was normally she who answered to formal greetings, more so than Alec.
"Seven years," she finally spoke, "and we have watched closely. In all these seven years you have not left Forks. There are whispers that you and your family are ageless. Why have you not left?"
Edward looked from Jane and then up over his shoulder towards Bella, who caught his gaze with hers. Both knew the reason, as did Nessie. It was Charlie. Charlie had requested to know as little of the details as possible, but for Bella and Nessie to stay in his life. To him Nessie was still the adopted daughter and not biological, and to the rest of Forks she was another one of Carlisle and Esme's adoptees. But Nessie doubted her parents wanted the Volturi knowing why they were still here. Outsiders weren't supposed to know.
Edward then made eye contact with his daughter and she somehow knew what he was thinking. He wanted to use her as the excuse. And whereas other times he would not have drawn attention to her in any way, he knew she could protect herself now. It would be better than having the Volturi know about Charlie. Nessie nodded her head and Edward turned back to Jane and Alec.
Nessie wanted to move out from behind the mountain of a man standing in front of her, so her hand left his arm before he could discern what she was thinking, and slipped around to stand in front of him. He was a good foot taller than her so he wouldn't have any trouble seeing what was going on. His hands that had previously been splayed to protect her like a shield now reached forward to wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him.
"You do realize that my mom has her shield up and they can't hurt us? You can stop being so clingy. It's one of the reasons I want to get away from you so much. You're just too damn protective!"
Nessie hoped that he understood her thoughts. And to let her know he did, he let one hand drop from her waist and was about to let the other one drop but she grabbed it and held fast. Where she wasn't afraid of the Volturi, Nessie was afraid he would think she didn't want him around anymore. She did want him around. She just didn't like it when he followed her everywhere. Right now though, she was grateful for someone to lean on.
Edward spoke again, "My daughter grew quickly, more quickly than any of us could have anticipated. She also learns fast, but we wanted her to have her high school experience, as each one of us did. She started high school here and we did not want to risk uprooting her. She has made friends and we want her to graduate from here. Then we will leave."
Jane's chin turned up slightly, as if she intended to look down on Edward even though she herself was a foot shorter than he was. "Your explanation is unacceptable. As an immortal she should know that the safety of her Coven is more important than wanting a human experience." Her gaze slid from Edward's to pierce Nessie with an evil stare. "Your foolish whims could get your family killed."
Nessie briefly glanced at her father who nodded before she turned back to Jane and answered her accusation. "I am only half immortal, Jane. Therefore I am also half human. Having a human experience is essential to being a vampire-human hybrid. I have one more year of school and then I graduate. At that time it is my family's intent to travel away from Forks. But no sooner."
Jane's eyes became menacing, as if she thought Nessie too lowly to speak to her. Still she listened. Then her glare became smug. "Aro has asked me to convey a message to you, Renesmee."
It was Nessie's turn to glare. She still remembered Aro from when she was very small, just as she could remember Jane and Alec and their attempts to harm her family and the new friends she made. She did not have any warm feelings towards Aro but was curious what he could possibly wish to say to her.
"He wanted you to know that in the case that your own family life becomes tedious and weary to you, you shall always have a place among the Volturi, should you wish it."
"What you mean to say is that Aro would love to use my abilities to have the lifestyle he and his order deem necessary for their royal stature. You may tell him, Jane, that if I ever feel like being used, like being a chess piece being told what to do and when to do it, I will let him know. Until then, I would advise you never to request that of me again, because I really don't like being told what to do."
She finished speaking and watched as Jane kept her cool, her face completely expressionless. Rarely did someone lose their temper with the Volturi, but then again it was rare that a child was born to a human and an immortal. An anomaly causing an anomaly only seemed right.
Out of the corner of her eye Nessie noticed Carlisle had come forward. Knowing Carlisle she knew he would offer Jane and Alec some sort of hospitality. She didn't want to hear it though. She must have been broadcasting her thoughts and through their skin contact Jake heard her and started to pull her backwards. She let him.
They walked back through her family. She made eye contact with each one of them and they smiled. Her family was very understanding and she really appreciated everything that they'd ever done for her. To lay their lives down on the line for her when she was so young was a very big thing, and Nessie never wanted to forget it. She was very grateful and wanted to repay them for it someday.
Looking at her mother's relaxed stance as Nessie passed she knew that the danger was gone but everyone was still cautious. Bella smiled at her daughter and Jacob. She and Jake had been friends for a long time and even though Nessie knew she had a special connection with him, she also knew that the connection between Bella and Jake went far deeper. She was still young and her relationship with Jake was nowhere close to being what he and Bella had. Deep down she was a little jealous that they could look at each other and know what each other was thinking immediately, but she knew that Jake was hers. He'd been a big brother when she was growing up and now that she was as grown up as she was ever going to be, Nessie knew he wanted more.
Was she willing to give him more though? He was very protective of her and it interfered with a lot of her day-to-day activities. Like today at school for instance, he was glaring at her in front of all her friends. She realized then that she didn't actually know why he was staring at her so intensely.
They were inside the house now. She'd moved into the house about a year ago to let her mom and dad have the cottage to themselves. They'd understood that she'd needed some independence from them and was never too far away.
Jake had ceased to direct her and she took over, moving in the direction of her room. She mounted the stairs and he released her waist to let her go. Instead of letting him go however, Nessie took his hand and urged him to go with her. They had things to discuss.
Coming to a halt in her room she let go of his hand and moved to sit on her bed. He stood in the doorway looking uncertain.
"Why are you so intense, Jake?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"I'm imprinted on you, Nessie." It was his explanation for everything. It didn't help or really explain anything.
She threw her hands in the air and flung back on the bed, landing in a huff. "You know that's not good enough, Jacob."
He hung his head and then dropped into the chair that was beside my bed. "I know. I…it's the only way I know how to explain it. I am drawn to you and I can't help these feelings I have towards you. You know how it is, Nessie. It's not gravity, it's you. I know you've heard that before, but it's all I have for you."
She swivelled her head on her bed to look at him. He'd gone from being a second-father to a big brother to someone she could truly count on in such a short period of time. Looking at him now, she could remember the times clearly when he was just there to take care of her, but those feelings of love weren't the same. She had deeper feelings for him now, feelings she couldn't describe and feelings that she was truly afraid of.
He looked at her with hooded eyes, his brows furrowed and deep in thought. "You've never tried to kiss me," she said.
This surprised him. Nessie had to admit it even surprised her by saying it. His hooded eyes burst open in surprise. "I…you…you've never been interested in that kind of thing before," he answered.
Nessie didn't know what she could say to that. It's true she hadn't been interested before. If he was going to be there for her though she wanted to know exactly what she was getting herself into. She extended my arm towards him, asking him to take her hand.
He went down on his knees beside her bed and took her hand.
"Does it make a difference that I'm interested now?"
Jake met Nessie's gaze and brought her hand to his lips, delicately kissing the back. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Please kiss me."
A slow smile spread across his face and he started to lean forward. Her heart started to race. She was about to get her very first kiss. It seemed right that Jake would be her first kiss. He'd been there for her whole life. When his lips touched hers fireworks exploded and she lost all thought except for the focus she held on his mouth. It was everything she had ever imagined and more. And when it ended she almost whimpered out loud. She held it back though and let herself bask in the feeling. Her eyes stayed closed. His fingers played with the hair around her face and she couldn't help but let the smile light up her face.
"I'm really glad you're mine, Jake."
"Thank you, Renesmee, for letting me stay."
"I never would have made you leave. I just need my space from time to time."
"I know. I'll try to be less overbearing."
He rested his forehead on hers and she could feel the heat radiating on her skin. He was so warm. It was one of the things she loved about him.
"I adore you, Nessie. And I love you."
"I love you too Jake, but not the way you want me to love you. In time I'll figure it out though."
"That's all I could ever hope for," he replied, kissing her again.
Nessie no longer wanted to run away from the world. She knew that the people she was with, her family, and her werewolf, would protect her and give her all she could ever want for. And she had Jake, someone she could really count on, knowing he would always protect her and he would always love her. She did not love him the way he wanted, and that wasn't the first time he had heard that. Nessie knew all about her mother's past with Jake, but she knew his love for her was genuine and he would not deter. She wanted to love him like that, and she knew in her heart that she would grow to. Even if he was annoying from time to time.