Mordred: "What we really should be complaining about is the original film."
A group of lords from Arthur's court immediately agreed.
Gawain rose up: "For having me killed!"
Lord Lot: "and I"
Morgan at the both of them: "Don't be surpwised, but most viewers and chawacters didn't mind your deaths. If they noticed them at all. You didn't weally matter to the plot."
"Not matter, not matter of course we matter!" muttered the old man
Frik took off his Sherlock Holmes hat in despair.
Frik: "Ok, everyone with less than ten lines in the film: leave the room!"
No one moved. Sir Hector being an honest man almost did, but Arthur ordered him to stay.
Sir Boris nervously counted his lines on his fingers.
Lord Leo, Guinevere's father aka unimportant guy: "You can't do that! Some of us have personalities!"
Elissa: "I even have an important function in the plot."
The lady Igraine: "Psst who is she, what purpose does she have?"
The Lady of the Lake whispered back, echoing all over the place: "She dies. She is Merlin's birthmother."
Only a few armies of meek, silent characters actually listened to Frik's order and started to leave the room. Amongst them were Cornwall's men in their silly uniforms.
"Yours as well, Mab." Frik commanded, making her look up from her nails, and really making him wish he hadn't.
Her eyes burned like fire.
Suddenly she was in front of him and slapped him in the face. Her hand left a scorch mark.
Morgan hurried towards him "Fwik, Fwik…"
Mab silently ordered her creatures to leave. The little faeries twirled around her. Then they fluttered out of the room, followed by some forest faeries and the five women who had accompanied Mab when she first went to see lord Vortigern.
Vortigern quite unsubtly went to stand by Frik. They both watched the departing faerie creatures: "I wonder…can they even speak?"
"I always took them for illusions." Frik whispered back.
The gnome had to duck as some griffin flew over, grasping for a gnome-snack.
Mordred stepped towards the noble knights and lords: "All of you too, out of here! Come on, come on!
You didn't have any personality when I put you up against king Arthur, nor do you have any now. Out!" He ushered them towards the door, waving his axe. Vortigern joined him in this sport.
Mordred went to stand besides Vortigern. "Well done, friend." He slapped him on the back.
Vortigern slapped Mordred back, almost making him fall to the ground.
Mab eyes widened. She was pulled out of her boredom seeing those two men standing there as if the three of them could be a happy family.
Merlin laughed homerically at seeing her facial expression. His laugh distracted her from her horrific thoughts.
Loke stood at the back of the room enjoying the show. He was basking in the eruptions of chaos.
"What shall we do with the villagers?" Gawain asked.
He was one of the few knights important enough not to have been sent out of the room. Mordred distinctly remembered killing him in the film, so he must have had some importance.
Mab: "Forget them."
Everyone stared at her. She presses her lips tightly together, then opened her mouth feigning surprise: "It's not like they talk."
Mab glared at Merlin. "I still can't believe you won by manipulating these minor characters into forgetting me. It was an action beneath any self-respecting character."
As she had hoped Merlin immediately started ranting about righteousness, justice and peace. His reaction amused her for a few seconds. Then more characters joined him in his charges. All declaring a ban on fan fiction and Mab in general.
"Why this animosity?" Mab asked.
The lady Elaine: "Jealousy I'd say."
She had no idea who Mab was. Actually, she was barely conscious of her own role in the film.
Mab "Frik, even you so bitter. It is very childish of. You knew what I was going through, I had no other option.
Don't tell me you became Christian as well?"
"You killed my one true love!" the gnome raged.
Mab tapped her under lip in recollection. "Ah."
Frik sighed. "Don't tell me you forgot."
"Quite a few characters died by my actions, Frik."
"None that explicit!
I loved her."
"That is touching. I did not give your feelings much thought." Morgan cast Frik an I-told-you-so-look.
"Because while you and Morgan were being all sweet together, I had more important things to do…"
Ambrosia: "Saving your people from extinction."
"I am sorry Frik, but your true love was …"
"A casualty of war." Ambrosia mocked. Mab hissed at the cheeky old woman.
Mordred arrogantly: "My own death, though given gladly for my queen," he made a charming gesture towards Mab "was far more dramatic.
I was young. A hope for the future, a hope for all of you here who have given their lives in this futile battle.
If anyone should have been kept alive it should have been me." Mab looked at him with a endearing smile.
"You trained him well, queen Mab." Ambrosia scoffed.
Mab's smile grew bitter as Ambrosia knew it would.
Mordred scowled at Ambrosia. "Do not insult auntie Mab!"
Ambrosia: "Boy, you are annoying! Seriously Queen Mab, was he the best you could do in the end?"
Mab's eyes rolled to meet Ambrosia's. They devilishly stared at each other.
Mordred furiously approached Ambrosia.
Ambrosia smiled: "Do you intend to kill me?
Why not. We're both dead already, aren't we? Because of this loving queen."
But Mordred would not falter because of her words.
Lord Cornwall strode between Mordred and Ambrosia claiming their attention.
He, a faithful Christian, bowed before Mab: "Queen Mab I am aware that you have, though often indirectly, brought about most of our destruction."
Picking up his accusative tone, Mab sighed ostensively "I know, it is not fair. As everyone keeps pointing out to me here and during the film."
Nimue defiantly: "You are evil and cruel, more than even Vortigern ever was."
Vortigern looked genuinely hurt.
His dead architect muttered: "I wouldn't say that …"
Mab to Nimue: "I do recall we have already discussed this in the film, dear." she smirked at that last word.
Idath: "I'll take care of this, my love." His hand rested on Mab's shoulder. "Though I might not approve of all her actions, Queen Mab had her people to save. A fact that everyone here seems to overlook."
"Don't start defending me now, Idath." Mab hissed. "You weren't even in the film."
The Lady of the Lake gestured to Ambrosia to come sit with her.
Vortigern's messenger to his king: "Surely we have not come here to criticize this woman's actions, my lord?"
Merlin in a strong voice: "That is exactly why we are here. Do you think anyone would have showed up if it wasn't?
Queen Mab is not a proper example for today's youth."
Lord Ardente: "Why are those fans so fond of this lady when she betrays everyone and messes up all the time?"
Nimue, looking at her evil mother in law: "I don't know, father."
Uther shouted: "The entire film is unjust!"
Stating what Mordred had said a few minutes ago as his own idea. It appeared that those words had only just seeped into his brain.
"And illogical. Merlin sticking my sword in a stone giant makes no sense at all."
Arthur elegantly intervenes: "Nor do the wasps defeating griffons."
Merlin grunted: "Bees."
An avalanche of criticism broke loose. Comments which I will not recount now for the simple reason that everyone was talking at the same time making it impossible to even hear but one person's words.