A mighty roar came from the back of the room, distracting even Mab from her vengeful plotting. A pleasant warmth spread.
Frik sighed in despair, as once again his authority was breached: "What genius invited the dragon?"
A deep rumble could be heard. "I… did…" the mountain king said slowly, making all of them wonder how he could possibly have gotten into the room."…not…"
"Why won't you just leave?" pleaded Frik. "If any of you animals have any sense…"
Sir Rupert stepped forward, interrupting the gnome: "This multitude of fics shows us that we are part of an inspiring film. We have reason to be proud!"
Everyone was shocked that someone had actually started talking about the meeting's topic.
"I disagree!" Lord Cornwall declared.
Frik: "How can you disagree?"
Uther, standing next to Cornwall, snorted. "Surely, you can't expect us to agree with a horse? We'd be no better than Caligula."
Vortigern: "Who is he?"
Lancelot: "Why surely you know, good man!"
Vortigern cast an evil glare towards the knight.
Lancelot: "eh roman soldier eh warrior…. king?"
Vortigern drew his sword, in less than a second time the blade was resting on Lancelot's throat: "There is only one true ruler in this room: me. I will take on any man or boy who disagrees."
Idath almost stepped forward, but decided against it. He would have the mortal keep his pride.
Morgan shouted: "I knew he was going to say that! Who else knew?"
Mordred "Sit down, mother. You never even met the guy."
Mordred grinded his teeth: "You're embarrassing me."
Vortigern decided the knight wasn't worth dirtying his sword for. He went back to stand with the 'baddie team'.
Having heard Mordred's complaints, he slapped him hard on the back a second time.
Vortigern: "You do not need your mother to embarrass yourself, boy. Believe me."
There was a cosy, private table where only Ambrosia and the Lady of the Lake were sitting.
They had started telling stories of Mab to each other. They kept laughing and throwing glances at the Queen of Air and Darkness.
Personal note: hearing the Lady of the Lake laugh must have been one of the most disturbing things I have ever experienced.
Mab slowly boiled with rage as she saw the two of them, those traitors, conspiring against her.
As always the Lady of the Lake spoke slowly and well considered. Her words could be heard throughout the entire room:
"I was not going to say anything, for I hold our bond most dear. But my sister …"
Ambrosia: "had it coming?"
The Lady nodded. "She should not have set out to cause more bloodshed for a purpose already lost."
If Mab's look could kill- well Mab's look can kill but not fellow goddesses- there wouldn't be a drop left of the Lady of the Lake nor of the glowy fish she keeps tied to her neck.
Frik: "Do not make me remind you again: we are not here to criticize each other, but to decide what to do with the fanfics. "
"Oh what can we do?" echoed a slightly tipsy Lady of Shallot.
King Constant: "Kill the prisoners!"
Queen Mab rolled her eyes beautifully.
Mordred: "There is not bloody much we can do. Let's face it and leave it be.
I don't mind our fics, auntie Mab." He said sweetly.
She petted him on the cheek. "I know you don't, dear."
"I am leaving." Uther declared.
He was clearly expecting everyone to fall to their knees and worship him. Which no one did.
Most were poking each other, asking what nitwit is that?
"This reunion was not a good idea, you strange creature." Uther's wicked smile made all the women in the room shiver with disgust.
Guinevere whispering: "I can't believe you took him for your husband."
Igraine, Cornwall's wife, taking another biscuit: "Well, he did look exactly like him and it was in the script. I didn't really have a say in it.
Who made these? I would like the recipe."
Merlin and Nimue were holding hands.
The Lady of the Lake glanced at Merlin, a loving smile on her face.
Her nephew was looking very fine indeed. Magic rape, crossed her mind, preferably in a cave, he should be very very drunk…
Frik, who had almost given up hope, looked up. "I can sense fan fiction in this very room!"
He pointed at the Lady of the Lake "You were thinking something unlike your film character, weren't you?"
"I was merely directing my thought to Merlin's Apprentice."
Frik: "I have to admit that does feel like fan fiction."
"With a desperate lack of Mab." a female voice cried from the back of the room.
Merlin: "Even if we would prefer to ignore it, it is the official sequel."
Nimue closed her ears. She did not want to be reminded of this.
Frik: "I feel a fan is having a hand in this meeting none the less."
Murmurs of "Yes, we can feel it too." arose from a lingering group of meek minded characters.
Frik: "Someone, some fan possibly several, must have infiltrated this top secret meeting."
Vortigern frowned at Mab: "We all know whose fault that would be."
As accusations continued to fly around the room, Mab remained silent. Glaring from one person to the next.
Frik shivered, she was probably making a mental list of who she would take revenge on in some future fic.
Cornwall grasped his sword: "Men, draw your weapons! Search the room. We will crush those fans.
Where is that dragon?"
Mab: "He is on my side, remember?"
She stroked the dragon's head. If he were a cat he would be purring.
Mab looked at Merlin and a trembling Nimue in his arms.
More characters were closing in on Queen Mab.
The lady Igraine: "I don't understand, what are they talking about?"
The Lady of the Lake: "They are saying my selfish sister brings about destruction throughout the entire film in an vain attempt to save a race already lost. Adding only more deaths to history's score."
Morgan: "As if humans can't stawt wars themselves."
Mab felt frustrated for ever letting her sister in on her plans.
There came a yelling from the back of the room: "You're the one to speak, Puddles!
You go around handing out magic swords to humans! To a man, who had sworn to destroy your sister. As you knew all to well."
The Lady of the Lake: "I will not waste any more words on this.
My echo effect will tire."
A scream could be heard as the girl was grabbed by Lancelot. Her companions started hitting him, forcing the knight to let her go.
Whatever words anyone had wanted to say next were lost in Mab's scream.
Tables cracked. Biscuits, glasses and platters were sent flying through the air. Most characters ran towards the exit. The few brave enough ran towards Mab, all weapons drawn.
Idath, Mordred and Vortigern were standing motionless, as if turned to stone, staring at Mab's beauty. They sighed happily.
"Drama queen." The Lady of the Lake said, still sitting peacefully enjoying her tea.
A group of fan girls fought their way to the front of the room.
They shielded Queen Mab from her attackers. Mab did not look a bit surprised.
The screen in the front of the room crashed down.
"She is not selfish!"
An evil look directed at Ambrosia. "Nor heartless!"
"Not at first anyway. I mean, our queen still has emotion. Though it hardened and not everyone sees…"
"Sshht, we don't have much time."
"Right then, make sure you read our character studies!"
"She is very misunderstood."
"I agree."
"Everyone of us agrees."
A girl pointed at the Lady of the Lake: "If someone is heartless it's you for helping your own sister to her destruction!"
One poked the other: "I believe we already said that."
She haughtily lifted her chin. "It can't be said enough."
Frik gawked at the scene in front of him with big bulging eyes. Shock had deprived him from speech.
One of the girls noticed that Merlin wanted to say something, she quickly beat him to it: "You couldn't bring yourself, not once to look at things from Mab's point of view. If only you had tried, we would not have needed to make so many fics about the two of you. Fics which you apparently dislike." She grunted.
"Admit it, you wise old wizard, you could actually learn something from us."
Specs of paint were softly falling from the roof, and bits of concrete quite a bit harder. The room was falling apart around us.
Mab was smiling, she felt incredibly strong surrounded by these humans who worship her.
"How did you get in here?" Frik stammered.
He noticed Loke waving. "Yeah, they came with me."
"You? I see." Frik paused. "But you are fan made. You weren't invited."
Loke sauntered forward. "Have you seen all the yummy chaos here? I was practically drawn in!"
He nodded towards Mab. "Hi sis, I did not want to disturb. You were handling this situation admirably. "
Vortigern in his best matter-of-fact voice: "How did they come in our story, madam?"
Mab gloated: "They believe in fairies."
The ceiling continued crumbling down because of Mab's magic.
Mordred looked very pleased, in his own perfectly insane manner of course.
Morgan sneaked towards her heroic Frik for protection. Ambrosia was standing behind them. Staring at the goddess she once served.
Mab: "In the end people believe what they want to believe. There is not much you can do about it."
"Yah, witness the power of fanning!"
Colleague fan girls giggled.
"We are cooler than that."
"Okies.
Other suggestions for a catch phrase?"
But we did not have time to hang around any longer.
With any other, more understanding audience our leave would have been accompanied by a grand applause.
As it was, Loke was the only one left standing, cheering his longs out.
Mab beamed as the room fell down on the others.
"So where are we going now?"
"Mab's place of course!"
"The Land of Magic! Oooooooooh" A crowd of puppy eyes surrounded Mab.
"If that is what you wish." Mab smiled to us as to her favourite nephew.
"Who remembered to bring biscuits?"
"I have, grabbed them right from under Merlin's nose!"
"I brought tea."
"Chocolate"
"Ice cream"
"Make up"
"Clothes"
"Alcohol"
"Fantasy novels"
"Magic" With this last word Mab took us with her.