APOV
As I ran through the forest I began to wander what it would be like to see the crisp ,dew coated, green leaves or every unique tree blur pass me instead of seeing every element of them perfectly defined. Was this the same wonder Bella had for my world? Did she dream of it like I daydreamed of being human so long ago?
I needed to get my mind off of Bella because I felt so obsessive so I gave my all to the hunt. The hunter in me took over and my hearing became more than acute than it already was. I heard the thudding of hooves against the damp forest floor and immediately ran west to the herd. I got there in less than a minute and stalked them for the fun of it. An elk, obviously the leader of the herd, was alerted and it's ears went up. I choose the second before it decided to sprint to pounce on it's back and snap it's neck. The others scattered as I hastily bit through the hair and fat the blocked my meal from me. The smooth bittersweet warm fluid caressed the fire the kindled in my throat and soon I had my fill.
I never had much vigor in hunting, I actually felt remorse every time I hunted and waited until the last moment necessary to hunt but ever since I met Bella and even more when I got that horrible vision I had been hunting more regularly to insure her safety especially after the Jasper incident. Even if my family had sworn to never leave no matter what I was still weary of any possible incidents regarding her. If anyone even tried to hurt her I wouldn't hesitate to kill them no matter who they were.
I sat on a smooth boulder and thought back to the family meeting we had a day after Edward had left:
Even a day after running for more than twenty-four hours to calm down I was emotionally stifled by Jasper who had finally relaxed because of the extreme anger I still felt when thinking of the situation. He had finally came back to talk to me after fleeing yesterday.
"Alice you're killing me. Please calm down."
I nodded not caring but was livid when he let my emotions free. He gripped his hair and yelled.
"Alice calm down!"
I closed my eyes and imagined Edward dead which did wonders by the way. After I got past the anger I looked at Jasper remorsefully.
"I didn't know."
His eyes were filled with pain and anger but you wouldn't know by his emotionless voice.
"I will not be like Edward. I want you to be happy and I want to be happy. I will always love you but I will not hold you back from your true mate."
Decades with this man and it was gone in a moment! I felt so lost and unsure. I knew he loved me but could Bella ever feel the same.
"Jasper I love you. I'll stay yours."
He looked at me thoughtfully but shook his head.
"I want what's best for both of us. You will feel guilt for being deceitful to your mate and I can't live being second best in your heart. I need some time."
I grabbed his arm exasperated.
"It's Edward's fault! I'm sorry."
He kissed my forehead gingerly and with that he was gone. I fell to my knees still overwhelmed by the whole situation.
Esme picked me up in her arms and cooed in my ear.
"It's okay sweetie."
I wanted laugh because it was beyond being okay but I could only sob more.
"Everything I know has been torn apart. I didn't choose this!"
She rubbed my back and hummed soothingly.
"You don't choose love it is a path that is fated. Jasper was apart of the path that lead you to your true destination."
I pulled back solemnly.
"You don't hate me?"
Esme looked appalled that I'd ever ask that.
"For heaven sakes no! Between you and I, I believe you're a better match for Bella anyway. I just hope my son doesn't do anything unforgivable."
I snarled.
"He did when he laid his hand on my mate."
Esme smirked.
"I like the edgy side of you but for Jasper and even Bella's sake please contain yourself."
I frowned at the mention of Bella.
"I can't just be her friend Esme. I need her and I need her to need me."
Esme nodded understandingly.
"She is human and things are much more complicated for her especially emotionally. You'll have to wait but know she'll be yours."
Carlisle figured it was a safe time to walk up.
"We won't leave her ever again and I believe Edward won't handle this correctly but let's hope for the best."
Emmett finished spackling the wall I had destroyed with Edward's head yesterday.
"Now I get to crack les jokes!"
I smacked him in the head but it didn't stop his goofy smile. I looked around wondering where Rosalie was when I heard a tree cracking in the forest. Emmett sighed and left immediately.
Rosalie hated any man who tried to take freedom away from a woman. It was unforgivable in her books even if it was just Bella to her. Bella was just a blimp on a radar set on annoying things for Rose but for me Bella was everything to me and to think that so suddenly think that frightened me. What do I even love about her? How could I love her in such a short span in time? I didn't, I've loved her since the moment I met her. What kind of shit is this? After decades of being with Jasper I'm gay and in love with my brothers former mate? This should be a soap opera!
I ran up to my and Jasper's room immediately feeling guilty for having to share a room with him instead of Bella and for him having to be near me constantly unless he decided to leave, which even now I don't think I could bare.
I grabbed my sketchbook and sketched the first thing that came to mind. Bella. My heart was like the shore crashing on the beach getting closer to it's destination only to be pushed back. Knowing Bella I was sure she was just going to confuse the shit out of me but I'd smile through the pain just to get a smile from her.
As I sketched a vision took over me: I was looking at Bella with blood trickling down her arm. She looked at me weary and stepped back. I kept my composure until she ran. Something in me made me run. It was the monster.
Everyday since I've had that vision I have been so tense around Bella but at least she didn't focus on me enough to be able to tell which I was grateful for and hurt by. The vision infuriated me. Why was I in La Push? Why would I break the treaty?