Crying yourself to sleep is the easiest way to get to that deep slumber. The tears and painful jerking of your chest exhausts your body horribly. Dean fell asleep about an hour after Seamus stormed out, staining his pillow with salty tears. The other boy stayed curled up in a chair in the common room, starting into nothingness for hours. It wasn't until everyone returned from the Qudditch game that he finally snapped back into reality.

Hermione made her way over to the couch next to the chair. It didn't take long for her to notice the pain in Seamus's eyes.

"Um, Seamus? Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." He lied.

"No, you aren't." She scanned the room, not surprised when Dean wasn't present. "Did something happen with Dean?"

He didn't even reply. Seamus stood up and walked out of the common room, not really sure where his destination was. He just needed to get away. His head needed to be emptied. The sky was darkening and even a few stars had begun to shine as the short boy walked along the edge of the pond. He closed his eyes as he laid on the grass, remembering the signifgance of this spot.

It was right before the Yule Ball, a rather cold blistery day. Dean and him were having a snowball fight right along the pond, finally collapsing in exhausten after an hour.

"Look, a fox!" Dean pointed out as an orange flash darted across the other side of the lake. His hand met Seamus's as he lowered it. Both their cheeks burned with embarassment as they pulled their hands apart.

This was the memory Seamus used for his patronus. His heart ached for the tall dark boy, but he wouldn't go running back to him. Not after he intentionally hurt him, not after he used another boy to drive Seamus mad with hopeless longing. Not after he tried to force Seamus to commit suicide by coming out. Dean was usually the only person Shay could ever forgive, but not this time. This was just too far.

Dean dreamt that Seamus left Hogwarts, that he completely dropped out because of him. Near of the end of his dream, Seamus was boarding a train that had appeared in front of Hogwarts, and Dean was running to stop him. He begged him to stay, but Seamus only told him that hated him and never wanted to come back. Darkness filled his vision as Dean's eyes flittered open, wet with new tears from his dream.

He turned over in his bed to see a lump in Seamus's bed, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. Why couldn't everything just be easy? Dean drifted back into sleep, exhausted by a new set of tears.

He awoke the next morning in pain, knowing what would happen to today. He dressed and gathered his books before dragging himself to the Great Hall. He spotted Blaise at their usual spot at the end of the Slytherin table.

"Hey." Blaise smiled, leaning into kiss Dean. But he only pulled back, dreading what he was about to do.

"We have to break up, Blaise." He said so quickly it could have been all one word.

"Why?" He asked calmly. Dean wondered whether or not he should tell the boy the thruth. No, he'd only hate Dean and he couldn't trust Blaise to keep Shay's seceret.

"I'm just not feeling it like I used to..." Dean lied.

"It's okay, I understand. I could tell anyways...you know, lack of chemistry." Zabini responded, not seeming to be that upset. "I don't regret this, I needed to get out of the damn closet." They gave each other a weak smile before seperating. Dean's stomach flipped and he had no intentions of eating. He saw Seamus sitting at the Gryffindor table, pushing food around his plate but not putting any his mouth.

"Hey Shay." He said, sitting next to him. Seamus didn't even stir as if Dean didn't greet him at all. "I broke up with Blaise." He whispered quietly.

"Doesn't change anything."

"I-I know." He expeceted the answer, but he still hoped it would change something. He saw a flash of blue as Seamus tilted his head slightly to look at Dean, and then turn his head back down. "You know my intentions were getting you?" Dean lowered his voice so only the boy next to him could hear. "I only did it because I wanted you more than anything."

Seamus repsonded with silence. Dean had enough. He quickly put his hand on the far side of Seamus's face to turn it towards his own, and crushed his lips agaisnt his. He didn't care if everyone in the Great Hall was watching, which was about half the school. Seamus had no objection, his eyes closed within seconds as he melted into the kiss and reality faded away.

Then he remembered they weren't alone. The short boy flew back, staring around in shock to find several pairs of eyes staring at them. He jumped up and fled the hall, not even bothering to bring his books with him. The shocked eyes turned to Dean, who's face was a mix of sadness and relief. Releif that he finally kissed Shay infront of other people, and sad because he just revealed the poor boy to everyone.

"I shouldn't have done that." He annouced to everyone who was staring. Dean collected Seamus's thing and exited the Great Hall. He found Seamus shortly in a near by bathroom, his hands clutching the side of a sink and his face down. He spun around when he heard the door open.

"What the hell, Dean? Now everyone knows about me!" He yelled.

"I didn't make you kiss me back." Answered Dean with a smile.

"This isn't funny! This was your plan all along wasn't it? To force me to show everyone who I really am? I won't be able to go back home. My cousin saw us. Thanks a lot, D. Really." He turned back to the sink. Warms slipped around his waist as Dean hugged him from behind.

"Well now you have nothing to hide, so might as well embrace it, right?" He whispered, nibbling at his ear.

"Stop that." Shay said, but Dean didn't. He made a trail of kisses down the side of his face until he reached the beating pulse on his neck. Lips locked around this point, he sucked on it knowing it was a pressure point. Seamus let out a grunt before spinning around, still in Dean's grasp. The darker boy was signifcantly taller, tall for his age while the either was short for his age. Seamus got on his tippy toes, trying to reach Dean's lips.

"You're so short and it's so cute." Dean smiled.

"Just shut up and kiss me." Commanded Seamus as the taller boy leaned down to meet his lips.