Disclaimer: look chapter one

A/N: I was shocked when I saw the date of my last update, but RL got in the way. I'm sure you all know what I mean. I just started my first job after I finished my exams and there isn't much time for writing any more.

About this story: I'm not really happy with this fic. A lot of time passed by since I wrote the first chapter and now I'm not sure where to go with it any longer. It feels as if I've lost my connection to the characters. But I'm unwilling to abandon "Phoenix" so I looked it over and tried to come up with some ideas. There is a plan how I wish to end this story, but I'm not sure if it will work or how long it will take me to do so.

So please be patient with me and let me hear what you think!

Chapter 11:

31. January – 23. February

A knock on the door ripped Nathaniel out of his thoughts. Surprised but nonetheless happy that Hermione had made it this early he hurried to let her in.

„Princess, you -" he stopped mid-sentence, "Changed," he added lamely as he stared at none other than Draco Malfoy. "What do you want?"

"We have to talk!" Without waiting for an invitation the blond boy stepped into the room and made himself comfortable in the chair he'd occupied mere minutes ago. Arrogance and the annoying attitude to overtake a place as if they owned it were obviously hereditary in the Malfoy line.

Fawkes knew he was a good friend to Hermione, but he didn't care much for the smug prat and wasn't in any mood to talk to him. "Sorry, but whatever it is will have to wait. Hermione will be here any minute."

"Too bad."

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

"A book," Draco replied nonchalantly while studying his fingernails.

"As interesting as that could be, I really have no time for your reading session." Nathaniel was quickly losing his patience and was about to compliment Draco personally out of his quarters when the annoying blonde decided to open his mouth again.

"It is a very interesting book about magical creatures and what gain they possess in various subjects."

"Fascinating!"

"Quite."

An uncomfortable silence stretched over them and Fawkes was once again tempted to throw Draco out. Stomping over to the door he was just about to rip it open when Draco once again decided to grace him with the sound of his voice.

"It contains all kinds of long forgotten spells, potions, myths and curses." The way Malfoy pronounced the last word put a cold chill down his back. "It is a very old grimoire indeed. Priceless these days. I'm sure Hermione will just love to get her hands on it."

Nathaniel stopped in mid step and turned sharply towards the blonde but wasn't stupid enough to take the bait. He simply waited for the other man to continue.

"There was an interesting chapter about Phenix, about their origin and probably the reason why they are so rare. Seems like you are a dying breed. Although I'm sure the sole reason for that is the forgotten knowledge not the lack of potential candidates."

"I'm sure I have no idea, what you are talking about."

"Oh, save the act," Draco drawled. "I'm not some stupid Hufflepuff or one of those goody-goody Gryffindors."

Unfortunately he was right in that aspect, Slytherins were far from being stupid but they also tended to use the information they found to their best advantage. He himself was sorted into the same house, so he knew what he was talking about. What he didn't know was how much Draco really knew and how much he was making up. Maybe the prat was only suspecting something and was now fishing for information.

Nathaniel had to be careful but likewise couldn't deny that he was curious and maybe a bit afraid. Well maybe threatened was more like it. The Malfoy boy was too close to Hermione to risk sending him away without finding out more about his so called discovery.

"And what do you want?" He finally asked trying to sound as if he didn't care much about the answer, sadly the boy wasn't fooled by it for a second.

"I want you to tell her," Draco's ice cold voice answered without hesitation. "I want you to tell Granger the truth! About the curse and why you are so determined to claim her."

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, but I intend to make it my business!" The blonde snapped with a cold gleam in his eyes. "Granger might be one of the most intelligent witches who ever walked this earth, but she is also naïve and much too trusting for her own good. One would think spending time with Scarhead and the Weasel or at least the war would make her question the motives of people, but she's too willing to see the good in people."

"Well good for you," Nathaniel fired back. "Considering the way you treated her for most of her life." Draco was good at controlling his features, a skill he probably learned during his service for the Dark Lord, but Fawkes didn't need to see him flinch to know he had struck a nerve.

"What makes you think you are allowed to take the same liberties?" The snotty tone in his voice annoyed Nathaniel to no end, but he too could play a blank face. "And unlike you, I never pretended to be someone I'm not."

He had a point there. "I never lied to her," he answered none the less. It was the truth after all, he hadn't lied to Hermione per se.

"Maybe, but you didn't tell her everything she needs to know either."

"She knows all she needs!"

Nathaniel realised too late that he shouldn't have snapped at him like that. The cold gleam in these stone grey eyes focused on him for a few silent moments before Draco finally spoke again.

"I have no idea whom you wronged so severely that she saw it fit to curse you like this and really, I don't care. But what I care about is Hermione. She has endured enough already and I won't have you use her to lift your curse. You will tell her! Her stupid Gryffindor nobility might force her to help you anyway, but she will be aware of your true colours at least."

Did the boy have any idea what he was talking about? He couldn't tell Hermione the truth. If he did, she would never do what had to be done and he would be forced into his bird form once again.

Once again a soft voice in the back of his mind ask him if that would be such a bad thing. The last one hundred years hadn't been so bad after all. He had felt a form of freedom and independence that he could never have gained in his human life.

But the Slytherin in him revolted at the thought of being forced into a life that he hadn't chosen for himself. He had wronged Anabelle, but he had paid dearly for it, hadn't he? His punishment had been fulfilled a long time ago as far as he was concerned and his Slytherin nature animated him to take any measures that were necessary to keep it that way. And it all started and ended with Hermione.

Nathaniel only had to convince her to go along with the necessary ritual, without her knowing all the details at best. He would never force her, but Hermione liked him and he couldn't deny that he liked her, so it was no crime trying to convince her was it? No! She would gain something from it too after all. She would get him, his money, influence and support. Nathaniel would make sure that she would want for nothing, he would be good to her. And who knew over the years it might become more. Even love!

Deep down within him Nathaniel knew it was morally questionable but who could allow himself the luxury of morals when ones life dependent on it? Not him.

But this snotty, arrogant boy in front of him, who had lived without much morals for the greater part of his life as well, was hell bent to ruin everything.

Nathaniel didn't bother to mask the irritation he felt and sneered at the blonde. "I think it's time for you to leave now!" His voice was low and threatening but Draco merely raised a perfectly shaped eye-brow at him and lifted himself from his seat, obviously unimpressed which only irked him further.

"Sure, sure...I'm only halfway through the book anyway. It's really extensive, you know?" The slimy rat smiled at him. "I would like to finish it this weekend so I can give it to Granger on Monday."

In other words Malfoy granted him this weekend to speak to Hermione about the curse, otherwise he would do that for him. Nathaniel was seething with rage, he could feel his wand arm twitching with the urge to hex the boy but managed to stop himself. Without another word he stomped over to the door and ripped it open. He was just about to open his mouth to tell him to get lost, when a curly haired witch stumbled into his room.

Nathaniel couldn't remember who was more shocked about her sudden appearance. Malfoy, he himself or Hermione. Although her embarrassment at being caught eavesdropping had quickly changed into fury. Fawkes had heard rumours that she possessed quite a temper, but he wasn't prepared for her murderous glare nor the painful right hook that landed on his nose before he was even able to open his mouth.

In fact he been so shocked that he just stared at her, while she turned around and fled. Never, in all his years, had a person dared to lay a hand on him. Of course he had found himself on the wrong end of a wand more than once, but nobody ever used a fist to express their displeasure. Least of all a woman!

Malfoy had just grinned at him and made some smart-ass comment about him being lucky that she hadn't used her wand on him. His throbbing nose sure as hell didn't feel lucky.

That had been two weeks ago and he hadn't heard a word from her since. Of course he'd tried to follow her once he had gotten over his shock, but it had been to late. She'd already fled to the safety of her rooms and the painting in front of her door had just glared at him and told him in no uncertain terms to sod off.

Of course Dumbledore had been quickly informed about the little incident as always. There weren't many things that happened in this school that the old wizard wasn't aware of. Nobody knew that better than him.

Much to Nathaniel's dismay his former master had asked him to leave Hogwarts for a while and allow Hermione the time she needed.

Time! Time!

Time was the one thing Nathaniel didn't have at his disposal.

Pacing up and down in front of the fireplace at Fawkes Manor he remembered Albus words.

"We both know Miss Granger is a reasonable woman, she will come around and you will have the opportunity to explain everything to her, old friend." The headmaster had smiled that irritating smile at him and Nathaniel could practically hear the unspoken – like you should have done from the start – in his head.

Easy for him to say, Nathaniel thought bitterly. It wasn't his life that was on the line.

And the timing couldn't have been worse. The last few weeks had been perfect, especially the ones following the Gala on New Years Eve. They had spend almost every day together and Nathaniel could see that Hermione finally allowed herself to believe his interest in her was for real – which it was! Like his Belle, Hermione didn't know her own worth but Nathaniel had sworn himself to make her see how special she was.

Mission failed, he thought unhappily and changed the direction of his steps once again. All he managed to do was hurt her and made her believe that he was just using her. Which he wasn't, not entirely at least. He preferred to think of it as a win-win situation for the both of them.

"She likes me and I like her," he muttered angrily. "Isn't that enough?" Of course she was able to help him with his little problem, but it wasn't as if he would leave her afterwards, was it? No, he hadn't planned to do that. Not since he got to know her better.

He really liked Hermione. She was certainly not breathtakingly beautiful or had some sort of exotic allure to her, but she was pretty, charming and intelligent. She was also loyal, passionate and witty. All qualities he appreciated. The Slytherin in him also acknowledged that she was well connected and famous due to her role in the last war. All in all, a man like himself couldn't hope for a better partner. She surely was his counterpart, so why was everybody acting as if he'd committed a crime? Morally speaking he probably had, which was one of the reasons he had refused to tell Hermione the whole story. Whhat kind of witch liked to think of herself as a mere tool to fix a curse? None! So why strain their relationship with unnecessary things, when he could have lifted the rest of the curse without her knowing?

He was willing to try and explain everything to her, but in true Gryffindor stubbornness she refused to see him, talk to him or even write to him. And by now even his exhausted owl refused to cooperate with him and simply ignored him.

Sighing deeply he let himself fall into his father's favourite winged chair and eyed the firewhisky for a moment before he decided one glass couldn't hurt anyone.

Why was he always mucking things up, when they were at their best? First Anabelle and now Hermione. He should have maintained his old way; every day another woman. No name, no feelings and certainly no drama.

Within hindsight one was always cleverer.

Hermione was done with crying. Some days it felt as if she hadn't done anything else since the war had ended. Funny, considering the world should be better and lighter now that Voldemort was dead. Determined she rubbed the tears from her eyes and pushed the sheets aside. She'd hid in her room long enough, it was time to find her backbone again, held her head high and demand some answers. But it wasn't as easy as she would have liked. It never was.

Despite her young age Hermione was no stranger to pain, emotional as well as physical. But matters of the heart seemed to always cut so much deeper than any knife ever could.

Ron had shown her that more than one time and she shouldn't be that surprised that Nathaniel did the same. In the beginning she had suspected him to have some doubtful motive to ask her out, though she had assumed he viewed her as some sort of pity project or wanted to date her because of some twisted sense of guilt. Like he was supposed to court her because she lifted his curse.

The truth tasted even more bitter than her fears.

"...I won't have you use her to lift the curse..."

So it wasn't broken, not entirely at last. His interest in her made much more sense now. And Hermione was nearly as angry with herself as she was with him. How could she have been so stupid? A few flowery words, some extravagant dates and some hot kisses and Hermione Granger, cleverest witch of her age, was a quivering mass.

"Cleverest witch, my ass," she muttered irritated and swung her legs out of her bed but paused for a moment to let her body absorb the sudden change in position.

She was fairly inexperienced when it came to boys, a novice really. Due to her plain appearance and her intimidating knowledge, she'd never been the centre of interest for any male. Apart from Viktor. He'd been the first person to ever really acknowledged her as a girl. Even Ron never thought her as anything else than just one of the boys. People expected them to be together so they were and for a long time Hermione fancied herself in love with him. Though if she was honest with herself that childish love had vanished long before they got together, but his betrayal didn't hurt any less. She'd still thought of him as her best friend and the way he treated her had hit her hard.

And Fawkes...she had really believed he liked her. How utterly stupid of her!

He had simply used her! And not even in the typical boy-uses-girl-for-his-own-satisfaction kind of way. No, obviously all the affection had been merely an act to get her to help him. Somehow Hermione found that more humiliating than him trying to get her to sleep with him.

"Who are you kidding, Hermione?" she muttered to herself and found her way to the bathroom. A nice hot shower was exactly what she needed now. "In which world would someone like him settle for a girl like you?" Cursing herself she stepped under the shower head and began her usual ritual.

All her self-doubts, which he had managed to ease during the last few weeks were back and now more than ever did she knew them to be true.

Why hadn't he simply asked for her help? Obviously she possessed the ability to break his curse and Draco had been right, when he told Nathaniel that her Gryffindor heart would coerce her to help him. So why did he have to pretend to care for her?

What did he want her to do, that he couldn't ask her but had to use sneaky tactics to get her to agree? What exactly had Draco found in that book, that Nathaniel felt so threatened by it? And why in Merlin's name had it to be her to break that curse?

It seemed there were a lot of unanswered questions and if there was one thing Hermione Granger didn't like was being in the dark. She would have to change that.

Quickly!

Stepping out of the shower, she decided that there were a few people who could expect a visit from her during the next days, but first she had some homework to finish. She'd lost enough time already, first due to spending time with Nathaniel and than wallowing in self-pity.

The NEWT's were coming and Hermione Granger didn't intend to leave this school without passing them with flying colours. Nathaniel and his stupid curse could wait, at least for a few days.

3 weeks later:

Taking a last deep breath to collect her courage Hermione raised her hand and knocked on the door which lead to the headmaster's office. Like always, her hand had barley touched the wood when Dumbledore's voice invited her in.

"Ah, Miss Granger you were awaited with bated breath," he welcomed her with that annoying twinkle in his eye. From the way Nathaniel stiffened in his seat in front of Dumbledore's desk, it was obvious that he didn't appreciate Albus´ opening.

Hermione didn't either. She wasn't here to play games, but to get some answers and she hoped that Dumbledore's presence might help her to get them without Nathaniel trying lure her in with pretty words again.

"Please take a seat," the headmaster continued, ignoring the icy glares she was sending in Nathaniel's direction as well as the angry ones Fawkes was directing at him.

"Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you." Really did she look as if she was interested in sweets at the moment? She used the moment of silence to let her eyes glide over Nathaniel's form. Like always he looked as if he'd just stepped out of a glamour wizard magazine. Perfect from head to toe. At least in appearance. His character was a different story, she thought bitterly.

Hermione could see his yaw muscles working despite the blank face he'd put on. Obviously he was itching to talk, but remained silent nonetheless.

"Miss Granger, am I right to assume you asked for this gathering because you have some questions?" Hermione didn't miss the little smile that tugged on his lips but nodded anyway. Hermione Granger has some questions...duh what else was new?

A few days ago she'd cornered Draco and demanded the book he'd been talking about. None to surprisingly he'd handed it over without hesitation. As far as she understood the old text, Fawkes had been cursed with ancient spell that wasn't labelled dark simply because no one knew of it any more. Her interpretation of the runes and text had her assuming that only a person who was severely wronged and willing to pay a certain price could use it though. Obviously that had been the case in Nathaniel's case and Hermione had to admit that she was curious to learn the story behind it.

"Yes, that is correct," she admitted and fixed her eyes on Nathaniel once again. "I would like to know about the curse. The how, why, who and especially what I have to do with it!" Hermione demanded though the book had given her a pretty good idea about her role in all of this.

"Hermione I..."

"Stop!" She interrupted Fawkes as soon as her name slipped from his lips. From the way he pronounced it and the pleading look on his face Hermione could see where this would go and she had no interest to hear his excuses. She'd spent the last three weeks mulling over everything that had happened so far. From her strange dreams, to Fawkes' change at the Halloween ball up to his behaviour towards her over the last months and what she'd learned from his talk to Draco as well as from reading the grimoire. At first she'd felt like crying every time she thought about it, but the more time past the more angry she felt. And she wasn't about to let Nathaniel guilty trip her into doing anything. She wanted answers no excuses.

"Please, just tell me what I want to know."

She was proud to notice that her voice still sounded even and clear.

A defeated sigh escaped Nathaniel before he finally nodded. "Alright. You deserve the truth."

"Yes, I definitely do!" She admitted probably with more force than needed which made him He winced slightly and for a brief moment his eyes glided towards Dumbledore. But the headmaster remained silent and sucked happily on another lemon drop.

"In my lifetime...I mean the one as a human I was betrothed to be married to a young girl whose father was one of my father´s business associates. She was sweet and pretty but also very soft hearted. There...had been a...misunderstanding which had her jumping to the wrong conclusions."

"Misunderstanding?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't made an effort to dampen the disbelief in her voice. He had to think her a foul if he expected her to believe that.

"Well," Nathaniel coughed and looked more than just a bit uncomfortable in his chair. "As I said, she was a very soft hearted girl. She saw something that she shouldn't have and...I guess it hurt her."

A noise between a cough and a laugh could be heart and Hermione was astonished to notice it was Dumbledore who made it. He raised one bushy white eyebrow at his former companion before he snaffled another lemon drop from his not so secret stash.

"Alright, alright! It broke her heart okay?"

No, nothing was okay, but Nathaniel still seemed obvious to the fact. For the first time since she'd met him he appeared to her like the spoiled, egoistic prat he obviously had been in his former life. Of course she'd known that he was arrogant and could be somewhat vain but during their shared time she'd also experienced his other side. The intelligent, witty and thoughtful man that made her laugh and made her feel special. This egoistic side wasn't something she practically liked to discover.

But there had to be a reason for his current situation and Hermione was determined to discover the truth. Every part of it not just the ones Nathaniel felt comfortable sharing with her.

"What exactly did you do?"

He shot her a glare that clearly showed her that he wouldn't share that particular piece of information with her.

"Fine," she snapped. "What happened after she jumped to the wrong conclusions?" At first it didn't look as if he would answer that question either but finally he shrugged.

"She attempted suicide," he mumbled while he avoided to look at her.

Though she was shocked she could hardly say she was surprised. What ever he had done had to be awful to animate someone to use that curse. But if the girl committed suicide who was the one that cursed him? Frowning she mused over what he said.

"You said she attempted suicide. Did she succeed?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" She asked stunned. "You hurt her so badly that she tried to kill herself and you don't even know if she succeeded?" He still refused to look at her, which only fuelled the anger and the bewilderment she felt. "How can you not know? Didn't you care what happened to her?"

"I was a little preoccupied at the time!" Now he sounded sullen and Hermione had a hard time to hold her temper in check.

"Preoccupied with what Nathaniel? Feeling sorry for yourself?"

It was meant as a mean jab, but as soon as the words left her mouth, Hermione knew she'd hit the mark.

"You can not be serious!" Hermione snapped outraged. Who was this man in front of her? Surely not the same she'd come to care for over the winter holidays.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore's soft voice called her attention towards him. "Please calm your self down. I'm sure Mister Fawkes was just about to elaborate his situation further."

An unladylike snort escaped her lips which earned her a sharp look from the grey haired wizard who for a change wasn't sucking on some kind of sweet. For the first time since she entered his office there wasn't a smile on his lips or a twinkle in his eyes and suddenly Hermione wasn't so sure if it had been a good idea to hold this meeting in his office. She'd wanted neutral grounds but thinking about it now, she realised that this room had been Nathaniel's home for over four decades.

Not to forget he'd been Albus Dumbledore's companion for even longer. Maybe the headmaster wasn't as unbiased as she'd thought.

Irritated at herself that she had overseen such important facts she forced herself to lean back in her chair. "Fine!" Stretching the word unnecessary long she spared Dumbledore a side glance before her eyes wandered back to the man to her right. She still wanted answers. "I'm listening."

Nathaniel just sat there unaffected as if nothing happened and stared out of the window. Perhaps lost in memories, perhaps thinking of ways to safe his neck.

"There's not much to tell. To answer your question, it was her mother who cursed me. She was from an ancient German magical family who was rumoured to be adept in dark magic. I guess it wasn't just rumours. She placed the curse upon me and two weeks later I awoke as a phoenix." His voice seemed indifferent but Hermione knew that probably was just an act. "It wasn't before you finally reached your magical maturity that the curse was broken."

"Wait what? My maturity?" Automatically her eyes turned to Dumbledore.

"Much like your body your magic grows over time. Simply said your magic passes through growth periods much like your body during puberty till it reaches its maturity. Normally a witch or wizard comes into his full magical power around their mid twenties. It seems that you Miss Granger, as usually, are far ahead of your pears." And that damned twinkle was back in his eyes.

Not so long ago Hermione would have taken such a declaration as a compliment. She would have blushed and basked in the feel of success that such an achievement would bring with it. But now she just felt annoyed.

"So my coming into my magical maturity is the reason I could break the curse. But why me?" Silence greeted her for so long that she once again had a hard time to hold her temper in check.

"You are special, princesses." She wanted to snap at him for using that name but was afraid he would fall silent again, so she gritted her teeth and held her tongue in check. "I'm sure the grimoire Draco gave you showed you that a woman was necessary to break the curse. But the inventor of the curse made sure that it couldn't be any woman. It had to be a witch whose magic matches mine to break the first part of the curse. I think we both know that you fit the part." Finally he was looking at her again. There was an odd look of sadness and affection in his eyes, but Hermione wasn't really sure if she could trust him.

"You said my magic was able to break the first part of the curse...so there is a second part?"

Grudgingly he nodded and though Hermione had known it since she eavesdropped his talk with Draco she couldn't stop from feeling betrayed once again.

"So you did use me all along. You were never really interested in me, you just wanted me to break the curse for you." She hated herself for sounding so vulnerable and hurt but she couldn't stop the tremor in her voice.

"Princess -"

"Don't call me that!"

"Hermione, that isn't true...well maybe at first, but after I got to know you better I...I really like you!" Nathaniel looked at her with his much too beautiful green eyes and Hermione could see that he really thought that was enough. He still couldn't understand why she was so angry with him.

"Do you really think it's okay than?"

"No, but-" He tried to interrupt but she wouldn't let him.

"Because you decided you like me? How relieving -for you! I'm sure it made your efforts so much more enjoyable after you decided that you liked me! You used me, Nathaniel! And you still would if I hadn't overheard you and Draco."

"Hermione I-"

"Why couldn't you just ask me for help? Draco was right about me trying to help you if I could. Why did you have to hurt me, Nathaniel? After all I told you...after what Ron-" She interrupted herself not willing to go there, but hurried to continue before he got the chance to find his voice.

"Just tell me what it is you need from me so badly that you can't ask for it."

As soon as the question left her lips Nathaniel hurried to look anywhere but her eyes. Slowly she started to ask herself if she really wanted to know what it took to break the curse, given his odd behaviour every time she wanted to know something about it.

"Miss Granger are you familiar with the Semper fidelis charm?" Dumbledore had obviously sensed that Nathaniel wasn't going so answer.

Frowning she shook her head. "No sir, I guess it has nothing to do with the Fidelius charm?"

"You are right in your assumption. It is a charm that isn't practised any more these days. Originally it was used in traditional marriage ceremonies but that practise ran out in the late fifteenth century."

Frowning she tried to understand what an ancient marriage ceremony which wasn't practised any longer had anything to do with her current situation.

"The reason behind the charm was to ensure fidelity in the marriage. Usually it was forced upon a witch to strip her of any possibilities of escaping the marriage, as the charm works only on the female part of a couple."

"What?" She gasped appealed. "How utterly barbaric and -"

"Miss Granger I understand your anger but you must understand that society worked differently in those days."

As far as Hermione understood it, it hadn't changed that much. The Wizarding World was still ruled mostly by men.

"What has an ancient rite to do with anything?"

The pointed look she received from Dumbledore should have told her everything, but she still failed to put the pieces together. "I fear I still don't understand, sir!"

"Oh come on, it isn't that hard to understand, princess!" Nathaniel spoke up with a bitter tone in his voice. "To break the curse completely, I need you to bind yourself to me in the ancient way, before the fires of Beltaine are burning!"

Shocked to the core she looked at him. Was he serious? He expected her to bind herself to him in a way that would take her independence from her completely while he could live his life like he wished? But suddenly she realised that was exactly what he'd aimed for all along. That was the reason he had been so persistent in wooing her.

He'd been like a spider luring his prey into his net out of charming words and hollow promises. Could she really believe anything he ever said to her, even now? But regardless of his selfish and cruel intentions, did he really think he could get her to agree to marry him till April? She was Hermione Granger for crying out loud. It wasn't often that she would do something imprudent and offhanded without analysing it from every angle possible. And marrying him six months after the first hello seemed pretty imprudent to her.

"You really expected me to marry you and bind myself to you so completely while you would be free to do as you pleased?" She snorted. "Oh, of course you would have kept that part to yourself. But did you really think you could get me to marry you, just like that? Even before I found out your intentions? We barely know each other! And let's not forget that I'm just eighteen for Merlin's sake! And I haven't even finish school yet."

From the expression on his face, she could tell that he didn't understand a word she was saying. Obviously these simple things never crossed his mind.

"I would be good to you, Hermione. I'm rich and the Fawkes name still holds importance in the Wizarding world. You would want for nothing. Everything you would wish for would be yours and-"

"Stop!" She interrupted his distraught words. "You don't get it, do you? You are the same selfish, arrogant prat you obviously have been all those centuries ago! One would think that three hundred years of punishment were enough to make you see the error in your ways! But all you've been doing since you are back in your human body is thinking of ways to trick me to free yourself, regardless of what that would mean to me!" At the end of her speech her voice was quivering from her effort to hold back all the emotions that went though her at that moment. "If you still haven't learned anything from your mistakes, maybe this isn't the right time for your curse to be broken. I sure as hell liked you much better when you still had a pair of wings!" As soon as the words left her mouth she felt bad about them. The curse was harsh and nobody deserved to be caged in that way, regardless of their crime. It was simply inhumane.

Ashamed about herself she cast her eyes down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that! But it doesn't change anything." Rising from her chair on only slightly wobbly legs she cast a quick glance at the headmaster, who was watching her with an unreadable look on his face, before she turned to Nathaniel. For a change he was looking directly at her. Sympathy welled up in her as she noticed the agonised look in his eyes, but she wasn't willing to give in. Not after what he intended to do to her.

"I'm sorry," she started again, unsure why she felt it necessary to make excuses. It wasn't her that should feel sorry. "I need time to think, I better go now!" For a moment it looked like Nathaniel wanted to protest but in the end he simply nodded and continued to look out of the window, once again. Anger welled up in her. Hadn't he even the decency to say something? Swallowing the words that lay on her tongue she turned around and left, feeling drained and empty like she hadn't since the final battle.

TBC (hopfully soon...)