She sat by his side for two days, leaving only to spend time with Ren. Many times, he had come into the room and sat with her, listening quietly as her mind raced in anger, sadness and love. He would've been nervous that she didn't want him around, but every few moments she would think about telling Richard that he had agreed to stay with them and be their son. Looking over her shoulder, she smiled at the small boy.

"We don't have to sit in here all day."

He smiled back at her, pulled his feet up into his chair and leaned back. "Yes we do. He may wake up today."

"You can't want to do this all day. We can find something-"

"I'm fine. This is important to you. It's important to both of you."

Turning around to face him completely, she sighed. "I'm sorry. This isn't how I imagined this going."

"I know." He grinned widely, "I can hear your thoughts remember?"

She laughed lightly and stood up, reaching out for him. "Come on, let's get some lunch."

"We don't have to leave. He wants you here when he wakes up."

Curious and hopeful, Kahlan kneeled down before him. "Can you hear him now?"

"It's not the same. He's not thinking the same way as you. They're not complete and change too quickly, but," he looked over to him lying on the bed and then returned his eyes to hers. "He is thinking about you most of the time. And a blonde woman. He feels bad for what he did to her."

She didn't have to think about who the blonde woman was, it had to be Nicci. From what Cara had told her, he had taken her magic and left her to die; something that was not typical of him. "Anything else?"

"Just the- He keeps thinking about something I don't understand. He hurt you and he keeps replaying it."

Turning back to Richard, Kahlan sighed. "I didn't want him to know."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want him to think about it, to think that he had done something to be blamed for."

"Did you tell him?"

She looked back at him and sighed as she sat back down in the chair beside the bed, across from him. "I thought that I did. I don't blame him; neither should he."

"Why not?" Ren asked quietly, wondering why she could think the way she did.

"Why don't I blame him? He didn't mean to do this to me. He did it to save my life and if he had known what would have happened, he would have- He wouldn't have done it." Ren smiled widely and leaned forward. "What?"

"It's just that you really believe that. Everyone who has come by you, they all blame him, but you don't." Standing up, he walked over to her side and looked down at Richard for a moment and then back to her. "You- You don't want him to try to fix you?" He asked her confused by her thoughts. "Don't you want to have his children?"

"Not if it kills him. If he wakes up, he will probably die from the magic. He is willing to die to change something that doesn't need to be changed. He wants me to have the chance to continue the line of Confessors and I wanted to as well, but then I realized that I just wanted a child. A child we could both love and- I never wanted him to know."

Laying his hand on her shoulder, he gave it a gentle squeeze and took a step back, revealing Richard with his eyes open. Ren left the room quietly as tears collected in her eyes. Leaning forward, Kahlan grabbed his hand and gave a soft laugh of relief.

"Hi," he said quietly, a smile coming to his lips as she came closer.

Laying her hand on his forehead, she sat down on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

His eyes were black, the strength of the magic flowing through them as he struggled to hold it in. "Headache."

"We've sent for a Rada'Han-"

Shaking his head, he pulled her down over him and wrapped his arms around her. "Not yet, I can heal-"

"Please don't," she begged in a whisper. "It will kill you and" she lifted herself up from his chest and looked down into his eyes. "if I can't have your children, I don't want to be healed."

"But I can't heal you with a Rada'Han." He didn't understand why she didn't want him to heal her, to fix the damage he had caused. She deserved to bare children, to continue the line of Confessors, but she asked him not to.

"I know." Moving slowly, she crawled over him, nesting herself, under the covers, on the other side of the bed with their bodies pressed together. "I was so afraid that you wouldn't wake up."

He struggled to wrap his arms around her, his headache making it difficult to move through the pain. "I wouldn't leave you without fixing what I-"

"Ren has decided to stay, it's been nice having him here," she said softly, interrupting his words. "He's agreed to be our son."

"Kahlan-"

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself to change this. You should push it from your mind. I would rather have you than be able to have children when you are gone." Closing her eyes, she began running her fingers over his chest. "We have a son now. There is no need to do this."

"Can you be happy without a child without the powers of a Confessor?"

"I meant what I said before, when I thought that you were asleep. It doesn't matter to me any longer."

His eyes fell closed as his energy left him. "I have to fix..."

She remained in his arms for a few minutes, even after his hold on her relaxed and his arms fell to his sides. Nothing she said would make him give up on this. What he did haunted him and if she wanted him to be himself again, she had to allow him to try. He was going to try, even if it killed him. Crawling from the bed, Kahlan recovered his body before pressing her lips lightly against his for a brief moment. Slowly, she walked to the door, looking back at him once more before pushing it open and leaving him alone.

Ren was sitting on the floor, across from the door, waiting. "Where is she?"

Kahlan smiled as he stood up, meeting her in the center of the hallway. "I'm not sure. She has left the Sisters of the Light; we may not be able to find her." Turning down the hall, she grabbed his hand and pulled him close. "We have a lot of work to do."

******

Richard woke up several times during the next three days, each time searching the room for her. His body burned in sweat, his shirt sticking to his skin, making him even more uncomfortable. He could see the moon through the window, giving him something to concentrate on as he struggled to remain awake long enough to see her. His body ached as though tiny pins were pushing into his bones; it took most of his strength to remain conscious. Grabbing the blanket, he tried to pull himself up, growing desperate to see her again.

"Don't do that," Kahlan whispered as she sat down on the side of the bed, pushing his shoulder gently back down to the bed. "You're not supposed to be moving."

Wincing in pain, he grabbed her hand and held it against him. "I wanted to see you."

"I found Sister Verna. She's agreed to come and help you to work through this."

Confused, Richard shook his head. "What?"

"I was wrong before. I shouldn't have asked you to put the thought from your mind. I wasn't thinking out how this made you feel and I should have. I should have been honest with you from the beginning, but I didn't think there was a way to change it and I should have known better. Richard, I should have known that you would find some way to- I should have had faith in you and I'm sorry that I didn't." She smiled, gently laying the palm of her left hand against his cheek. "You should rest, she arrives tonight and you will begin in the morning."

"Stay?" he questioned as his eyes fell closed.

"Of course."

"She's here."

Kahlan turned around, revealing her dark, tired eyes. "Will you sit with him, Cara?" The Mord'Sith nodded and stepped forward, pulling the chair up to the side of the bed. "If he wakes up, tell him that I- Tell him that I won't be long."

From the moment she left their room, Kahlan's heart began pounding faster and faster, fearing that somehow he would be powerful enough to heal her. As a Rahl, the blood that flowed through his veins, the magic would be more powerful than any other before him. The amount of power they had seen Nicci present would be nothing in comparison. If Sister Verna is unable to help him, he will die. If he died, she wouldn't be able to go on.

"Will you be able to help him?"

"I cannot say before I have seen him; felt the magic within him. It is different inside of every person; he may not be able to hold it any longer." Verna's voice was soft and fragile, matching her features as she stepped toward the Mother Confessor and gave a small bow. "Magic is not always forgiving. He gave it to Nicci, tossing it away because he did not want it; the magic may take his life in exchange."

"How can it turn on him? He is the one it belongs to; he gave it up only to be free."

The older woman frowned and shook her head. "The magic cares not what the reasons were. It will test him, try him and see if he is worthy of it. Then and only then will I be able to train him. It depends entirely on him." Stepping even closer to her, Verna lowered her voice to a whisper. "Why is it he called for the magic?"

The expressions on her face changed frequently as Kahlan told her the events that had lead to it all. She had never heard anything like it before and almost instantly agreed with the midwife that it wasn't possible to reverse, but kept quiet as the story continued. "If this does not work, I am afraid of what he will do."

"How long since you have slept?"

She smiled, shaking her head as she thought for a moment and then the smiled faded. "I can't remember. I can't sleep when all I can think of is waking up with him dead beside me." Tears filled her eyes and she took the other woman's hands. "I wish that I never found out. I wish that we both spent every night making love and not caring if it brought us a child."

Squeezing her hand tenderly, Verna gave her a small smile. "If it's one thing that the Seeker has taught me, it's that he will always find a way."

Kahlan surprised her as she wrapped her arms around her, letting loose a few tears in her shoulder. "Thank you for coming."