Chapter 3

The way Hotte smiled at her as she stepped through the school's entrance made her heart sink. It was obvious he'd waited for her and had drawn all the wrong conclusions from their short kiss at the costume party.

"Jenny, hey!" he greeted her enthusiastically while Emma glared at both of them but remained quiet.

"Hotte! Erm….can I talk to you for a second? In private?"

"Of course!" he replied eagerly and winked at Emma whose expression had grown darker still.

Jenny grabbed his arm and pulled him around the corner, out of Emma's earshot. "Hotte, look, I…I want to apologize to you."

"To me?" He looked at her a bit flabbergasted. "Why?"

"For kissing you at the costume party. I'm sorry."

"What? No! Why would you be sorry for that, I liked it!"

"Hotte…I kissed you because…because of a weird mood I was in. Don't get me wrong, you're an attractive guy, but you and me….it just won't work, you know?" She saw understanding dawn in his eyes.

"Oh. Right." He tried to hide his disappointment but failed miserably as his shoulders sagged and his smile faltered.

'Great, I've done it again. It's always the same, isn't it? It's always me conflicting pain on others for my own good.'

"Friends?" She asked in a lame attempt to lighten the atmosphere again, and to her relief Hotte nodded with a crooked half-smile.

"Friends."

ooooo

Her heart did a double-take when she saw Emma rummaging around in her locker. 'Pleasepleaseplease, don't fuck it up again!' she admonished herselfbefore she conjured up a wide smile on her face and approached her.

"Okay, erm…have you thought about it? I mean, are we going to work together in Hall One?"

Emma looked up at her but remained quiet.

"Come on, how much longer do you want to give me the silent treatment? Why don't you just tell me what you want?"

"Now I'm supposed to tell you what I want?" Emma shot back at her.

"Erm…yeah?" Jenny replied, a bit thrown by Emma's sudden vehemence. 'Damn, what did I do now?'

"Why don't you tell me what you want? After all it wasn't me who got you kicked out because of the alarm system, right?"

"Ah, come on…" Jenny started to defend herself, but Emma interrupted her before she could even form the sentence in her head.

"Or was it me who kissed Hotte at the party?" Emma continued, her tone of voice even more reproachful than before.

"What? What's Hotte got to do with anything?"

"You know, your whole manner, it beats me, really! At first, you're completely cool and dismissive, only to be really nice shortly afterwards, but all of a sudden you give me a real hard kick in the arse again!"

Emma's sudden outburst rendered Jenny speechless for a couple of seconds. "Hey…I apologized to Hotte, it's okay for him now!" Jenny replied a bit desperately.

"Yeah. Just because he's stupid enough to trust you!" 'What?' "And because you're cool and beautiful…."

"Emma, I told you, I apologized to him!"

"Yes, and you apologized to me as well – for destroying my bike, for shutting off the alarm-system. So what? What good did that do? None!"

"Emma…with you…that's something else altogether!"

"Oh yeah? And why would that be?"

'So that's it – the one-million-dollar-question. Say it. Tell her that you've fallen for her. Tell her that you're just acting like a silly cow all the time because she's eliciting all those feelings inside you. Weird and wonderful and frightening and…'

"What the hell is your problem with me?" Emma spat at her, her eyes dark with anger.

'Say something. Do something. Anything.' Before she really knew what she was about to do, Jenny took a step towards Emma and gently pressed her lips against hers. Her mind went blank for seconds that felt like an eternity, robbing her of the ability to form another coherent thought. She could only feel – the way Emma's lips fitted perfectly against her own, soft, silky, beautiful, and how that gentle touch sent an electric current through her body. A distant jumble of voices made her switch back to reality. Jenny reluctantly broke the kiss and stepped back before anyone could walk in on them.

"That's the problem I've got with you." Jenny whispered and left in a hurry.

ooooo

'You kissed her. Are you crazy? Or more like…completely mad?' Jenny groaned and rested her forehead against the cool surface of the toilet cubicle she'd fled into in order to clear her head. 'She's going to hate me. Even more than she already did. Fuck!' She angrily hit her hand against the wall.

"Everything alright?" an unknown voice asked from the adjacent cubicle.

"I'm fine." Jenny mumbled and closed her eyes. 'At least she didn't push me away or even hit me. Is that a good sign? Or did I just overwhelm her? Shock her into some kind of paralysis?' She laughed sadly and shook her head at herself. 'Jenny Hartmann, when did you turn into such a ridiculous wimp?' She couldn't remember that she'd ever agonized over anyone or questioned her actions like that. She was used to be the one making the rules, to be the one fending off the advances of others instead of racking her brains over winning the heart of a girl who obviously didn't even like her. 'Or did she? Fucking insecurity!' She angrily opened the cubicle door, checked her appearance in the mirror and put on a fake smile she could hide her emotions behind, a habit she'd perfected over the years. 'There, all done.' With that, she hurriedly left and headed towards her next class.

ooooo

At the same time one floor below Emma touched her lips with her fingertips in a trance-like state. 'Did this really just happen?' She still felt Jenny's lips on her own, so there was only a slim chance that all this had just been a dream. What kind of a dream would it have been anyway? A good one? Or rather a nightmare? The wide smile that had crept onto her face unwillingly after Jenny kissed her had both surprised and embarrassed her. What had she been thinking? What if anyone had seen them? Why hadn't she just pushed her away? 'Because you liked it. No! Please no. That can't be possible. I am….' She didn't finish that sentence in her head, remembering Jenny's harsh reaction the last time she'd used the expression that had just popped into her head. 'Normal? What's normal anyway?' She had nothing against homosexuals, although she'd never really thought about it before. But was she really into girls? All of a sudden, just like that? Emma searched her mind for situations in the past when she'd felt something more than plain friendship for a female friend, but couldn't come up with a single one. So why now? She had to admit that Jenny had intrigued her right from the start. The cool girl from London who played by her own rules, no matter what her classmates thought of her. 'So I'm secretly impressed by her. So what? That doesn't mean that I have a crush on her or anything. Does it?' But the kiss – the kiss had got her head reeling, it had shaken her to the core although it had been over before she'd really realized what was happening to her. 'Come on, Emma, would you stop obsessing over this?' But no matter how hard she tried to set her mind at rest, she wasn't able to stop it from replaying that scene over and over again in her head. Kissing her had been the last thing she'd expected Jenny to do, and….

"Oh! Sorry!" Emma stammered, relieved that the person she'd just bumped into was Hotte.

"Hey Emma! And what are you dreaming about?"

"Me? Erm…nothing, I was just…I'm…l was lost in thought somehow." She felt her cheeks flush, but thankfully Hotte didn't pick up on that.

"Well, my dream is over, that's for sure." he replied sadly.

"What?"

"Jenny."

"What? What's with Jenny?" Emma asked, hoping that Hotte wouldn't notice the slight hint of panic in her voice.

"You were right about her. She's not interested in me."

"In you." Emma repeated stupidly.

"Yeah, well, did you see her kiss anyone else around here?" Hotte asked a bit irritated.

"No! I mean….no, I didn't." 'God, Emma, how much more obvious could you possibly be? Why don't I write 'Jenny Hartmann kissed me' on my forehead?'"Can we just talk about something else?"

"Erm…yeah….about what exactly?"

"Oh…erm…you know what, I think I just need a coffee!"

She didn't wait for her friend's reaction but turned around on her heels and headed towards the cafeteria. 'Would you please get a grip?'