Chapter 5

Emma stormed out of the classroom as she felt hot tears well up in her eyes. Now she hadn't only failed the placement test but also her one and only chance to redeem herself and be allowed into the "A-class" along with her friends. During the placement test she hadn't been able to erase Jenny's admission from her mind. 'Emma, I've got a crush on you. A huge crush, to be honest.' She'd read the exam questions again and again, but her mind had refused to process even a single one of them, as if it had been completely wiped out by the emotional disaster Jenny had thrown her into. Instead of writing down the correct answers, she'd once and again stared in Jenny's direction, unable to concentrate on the test at all.

And now it had happened again! She'd just started her presentation and it had gone more than well so far. Until Jenny had entered the classroom and taken her usual seat in the first row. And 'bam!' – her mind had gone blank again, just like that! 'Fuckfuckfuck!' Now she'd have to rot in the loser-class forever, where participating in the teachers' lessons was considered a crime in itself and punished severely by her classmates. She was done for, and wouldn't even be allowed to be in the STAG anymore, and….

"Emma! Emma, wait!" She heard Jenny run after her and tried to block out her voice. "Come on, it wasn't that bad." the brunette tried to comfort her. "Götting's an asshole, everyone knows that, and he's getting off on humiliating others. Actually you're lucky you won't have to endure him any longer. This whole elite idea is bullshit anyway."

"It's so easy for you to say that!" Emma snapped back at her. " You are allowed to participate in the normal lessons, as well as my friends are. Why did you have to come in while I was doing my presentation? It's been the same during the placement test. Every time you're around me I have a complete blackout!"

"Look, Emma, I'm really sorry about that, but have you ever thought about what that could possibly mean?"

"That's rather obvious, isn't it? I'll be stuck with those losers until eternity!"

"That's not what I meant! You and me…that's something special, don't you see?"

"Jenny…." Emma started, exasperated, "I don't want to be special. I want to be like anyone else. When will you get that into your head?" she spat and walked away.

'How many times will I let her hurt me like this?' Jenny wondered silently. 'Why don't I just let her go?' Jenny hesitated only a second. 'Because I can't.' With that thought in her mind, she ran after Emma again.

"Emma, wait!"

"Stop hassling me! Why are you following me all the time? Just stop it!"

"Emma, why do you say things like this? About wanting to be like anyone else? You're not like anyone else, and that's a good thing! You're special, you just don't dare admit that to yourself. Come on, take a look at all these chicks around here! Caro, Lena, Yvonne. Do you really want to be like them? No, I don't think so. You're not like them, and I'm not talking about Götting's two-class-system, I'm talking about you and you know that!"

Emma just stared at her but remained silent.

"People will be talking at first, I know how it is, that's just the way it is, but some day…some day they will stop. As long as we stick together, we'll get through this!"

"Look, I really don't know what you're talking about! I'm not like you! And I don't want to talk about this ever again. And the only thing I know is that I want you to stay away from me!"

Jenny bit her lip as she watched Emma disappear. She'd done it again. She'd pushed her away again, without wasting as much as a single thought on the fact that she'd trampled on her feelings for the umpteenth time. 'Okay. That's it. I'm done with her.'

ooooo

Emma rubbed her hands to keep them from freezing, her eyes never leaving Jenny who was talking to one of her class-mates at the far side of the schoolyard. 'She's so beautiful when she's laughing.' What? Where had that come from? During the last couple of days she'd tried to clear that mess inside her head which started and ended with the same name: Jenny. But despite all her efforts her mind just didn't let her forget - Jenny's lips on her own, so incredibly soft. 'Well…for me…it was mind-blowing, actually.' Her clear blue eyes which had looked at her almost pleadingly. 'I've got a crush on you. A huge crush, to be honest. No game, no sport and no science. I just want you to know that.' Jenny running after her, trying to comfort her. 'You and me…that's something special, don't you see?' Her last desperate attempt to convince her. 'As long as we stick together, we'll get through this!'

But she'd ruined it. She'd pushed Jenny away, again and again, until Jenny had finally backed down, hurt by Emma's repeated rejection. 'I can't even blame her.' Emma sighed and watched her breath condense into a foggy cloud. 'And now she won't even talk to me.' Jenny had made that more than clear as Emma had tried to apologize to her in Hall One. 'It's for the best if we don't talk at all. You do your thing, I do mine.' She still heard Jenny's voice in her mind, cold and dismissive, her usual mask put safely back in place. Emma sighed again. She missed her. She missed that easy banter they'd used to share, missed the sound of her laugh, the way he lips curled into an easy smile, even the way she looked at her, as if she was the most precious thing in the world, and…

"Emma? Emma! Are you listening to me or what?"

"What? Sorry."

Hotte stared at her quizzically before he followed Emma's gaze. "She's a bit arrogant after all, isn't she?"

"Come on, Hotte, you don't even know her!"

"Of course I know her, Emma! We kissed! And it was epic." he added with a wink.

"Yeah, and then she dumped you."

"Like I said - arrogant!"

"I think she's just a bit different from the others. And that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, does it?" 'You're not like anyone else, and that's a good thing!' Jenny's words rang in her ears again. 'Perhaps she's been right about that after all.'

ooooo

A revolution! Emma couldn't quite believe that they were really seeing this through. It had been Jenny's idea, and of course all the others had happily agreed with her. Emma didn't really know why this seemed to make her angry somehow, after all they were fighting against Götting's two-class-system which prevented her from participating in her usual lessons and the STAG.

"Why are we the only ones preparing the placards?" Hotte asked, sitting beside Emma on his knees while he drew a large red exclamation mark on the white bed sheet in front of him. "What are the others doing?"

"I don't know." Emma replied. "Delivering highly important sermons, I guess. And right at the front of all this: Jenny Hartmann!" she continued sarcastically.

"So now you're judging her. A couple of minutes ago she was something really special if I remember correctly." Hotte reminded her.

"Yes, but that doesn't have to be a good thing, right?"

Hotte looked at her a bit strangely.

"Yeah! First she says one thing, only to do the exact opposite the following day. She starts working with you at Hall One, then she suddenly quits. She kisses you and…."

"She kissed you?" Hotte interrupted her with wide eyes.

"What? No! No…I meant you. She kissed you, and then she dumped you just like that!"

"Ah, that's alright actually."

"Well, anyway….I think we're done here." Emma knew that she was being unreasonable. She should be grateful to Jenny for putting all this energy into their strike, but instead she felt betrayed by her. She'd been secretly looking forward to their shared shifts at Hall One, even if Jenny had refused to talk to her lately. Her sudden resignation had come as a shock to her, even more so as she knew that Jenny needed this job to repay her loan to Stefan Bergmann. 'That's how much she hates me now. And it's all my fault.' Only her vehemence concerning the school strike didn't quite fit into the picture. 'Why is she doing this? There's nothing in it for her, she's already in the privileged class after all.' Emma wished that she could take a look behind Jenny's façade so that she could stop over-analyzing everything she did or said. 'Jenny probably just likes to stand in the limelight, and what better opportunity is there than being the head of a school strike? Yes, that has to be it.'