Chapter 7

"Don't you know – we're talking about a revolution… It sounds like a whisper…coz finally the tables are starting to turn…"

'I love her voice.' Emma thought while she was singing the refrain of Tracy Chapman's classic in an improvised duet with Jenny who seemed to enjoy their performance as well. She was more than glad that someone had thought of bringing a guitar and stroke up a song because it had palpably lessened the tension between Jenny and herself. She couldn't really explain why she'd reacted the way she had when Jenny offered her the last blanket. Stubborn. Pigheaded. Unrelenting. She wasn't usually like that. But being near Jenny made her feel weird somehow. The brunette triggered something inside her that she couldn't quite put into words. Whenever Jenny entered the room, Emma seemed to stumble over her words or – even worse – was rendered completely speechless. Just looking at Jenny made her forget what she was about to say or do. Instead she'd just stare at her for endless seconds, fascinated by Jenny's clear blue eyes, the confidence she emanated while she interacted with others, her beautiful smile… 'God, Emma! Would you listen to yourself?' She felt a slight blush creep up her cheeks and didn't dare look in Jenny's direction as if she was afraid Jenny could be able to see her thoughts written squarely on her forehead.

The prospect of Jenny consequently avoiding her and showing her the cold shoulder like she'd done this afternoon as she'd accidentally knocked the blankets out of her arms made her cringe. But nonetheless she'd willingly alienated her again as she'd offered her the blanket. 'Why? Why can't I act normally around her?' Emma wondered silently. 'Because she's making my head spin.' she answered her own question. 'And her smile….her smile turns my knees into jelly. Every single time. But why? What's so special about her? Alright, so she's funny when she wants to be, and frighteningly self-confident most of the time, sometimes even recklessly blunt…but also courageous enough to let her guard down and kiss me. Just like that. And tell me that she's got a crush on me.' But she'd seen it. She'd seen the fear in her eyes after their lips had parted. Jenny had been afraid of her reaction. But despite her initial harsh rejection Jenny hadn't given up, instead she'd laid her heart on a plate for her. 'And I've just shoved it in her face. Goddamn, Emma!' Emma groaned and rubbed her hands again each other, her fingers already stiff from the cold. Emma looked around herself and noticed with a start that the others were already wrapped in their blankets, fast asleep, while she'd been racking her brains over Jenny. She realized that she was shivering despite her thick winter jacket and that she couldn't stop her teeth from chattering.

"I thought you're not freezing." Jenny suddenly whispered beside her.

"I'm not freezing." Emma replied automatically through her chattering teeth. 'Very convincing, Emma.'

"Stop being silly and get under the blanket with me, will you?" Jenny whispered back, though this time her tone of voice was gentle. "Who's supposed to sleep with your teeth chattering like that?" She lifted the blanket and waited for Emma to slip beneath it. Emma hesitated for another second, then finally relented.

"Is this okay for you?" she asked after she'd shuffled around a bit, trying to cover herself with the blanket without taking too much of it for herself, carefully avoiding to lie too close to Jenny.

"Mh mh." Jenny mumbled sleepily.

"Is there still enough room for you?"

"Yes." Jenny whispered, her eyes already closed. "Sleep now."

'God, she's way too close.' Emma felt suddenly warm but doubted that this was due to the flimsy blanket. She sneaked another peek at her and studied Jenny's even features in the semi-darkness, the soft curve of her mouth, the stray strand of hair that had fallen into her face. 'She's so beautiful.' The thought had come so naturally to her and for the first time it didn't frighten her. 'I would have to be blind to not see that.' Emma's gaze lingered on Jenny's lips. 'And she still cares. Even if she tries to hide it most of the time. She would have let me have the blanket all to myself without further ado despite everything that's happened between us.' Emma took a deep breath. 'I do care, too.' Emma weighed that thought in her head, examining it like a science object, probing it carefully for its pros and cons. 'I care.' she repeated silently with a little more emphasis than before. 'Tell her. Don't be a coward for once.'

"Jenny?" Emma whispered in her direction before she got the chance to change her mind again.

"Mh?"

"Are you asleep already?" 'God, Emma, what kind of a stupid question is that? Just tell her!'

"How should I?" Jenny snorted quietly. "Either you're jittering or gibbering."

"I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?" Jenny mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"I…I know this may sound stupid now, or perhaps you don't really want to hear it, but…erm…" 'Just say it, Emma!' But Emma was lost for words again, her mind blocked by an overwhelming jumble of emotions. Her gaze fell on Jenny' lips again, and before she really knew what she was about to do, she leant towards Jenny and tentatively laid her lips on hers. 'Oh my God.' She was kissing her. She was kissing Jenny Hartmann. Jenny's eyes shot open with a start, but besides that, she didn't react at all, neither did she kiss her back nor push her away. Emma pulled back again, waiting for Jenny's reaction, but the brunette just looked at her with a mix of hopefulness and fear in her eyes. 'She thinks I'm going to push her away again.'

Emma closed the gap between them once more, and this time Jenny reacted immediately and kissed her back, carefully at first, her lips gently probing Emma's but yet so intently as if she wanted to burn this moment into her memory forever. 'Jenny.' Emma's mind was flooded with only one sensation. ‚JennyJennyJenny.' The feeling of Jenny's soft lips on her own, her scent which filled her nostrils, her taste that mixed with her own, Jenny's hand holding on to her shoulder before it travelled into her hair, then down to her face where it gently caressed her cheek while her lips grew bolder and bolder, challenging Emma's to a slow dance which they happily accepted. Emma sighed when she felt Jenny's teeth gently nibble on her lower lip before she soothed it with her tongue, the sensation sending a jolt of electricity down Emma's spine. 'Oh God.' Gaining courage, Emma opened her mouth a bit wider to invite Jenny's tongue inside and couldn't help a little moan as it collided with her own, evoking an explosion of feelings inside her stomach that seemed to spread through her whole body at the speed of light. Emma broke the kiss, gasping for air, a wide smile spread across her face. Had she ever felt this happy? 'Not possible.' Emma answered her silent question. Her heart was doing somersaults inside her chest, over and over again, like she'd never experienced before.

"Are you still cold?" Jenny asked, smiling as well, her fingers still touching Emma's air, unwilling to break the contact.

"No." Emma laughed before she felt Jenny's lips on her own again, kissing her even more passionately than before. 'I could go on kissing her forever. And ever. And ever.'

"Emma?"

They both started at the unexpected intrusion and broke apart. 'Hotte.' He squinted at them and put his glasses on.

"Ohhhh…." he exclaimed with surprise as he realized what he'd stumbled into. "Hi…Jenny. Don't mind me…everything's just….fine." he stammered and left the room, clearly flabbergasted because of what he'd just observed.

"Poor him." Jenny laughed while Emma just sat there, shell-shocked. "I guess this was a bit much for him."

"Looks that way, doesn't it." Emma finally replied, worry written on her face.

"I bet he'll be telling this story to his grand-children some time." Jenny continued, still smiling widely.

"I'll better go and look after him." Emma said and got up to follow her friend outside.

ooooo

'She kissed me.' Jenny thought for the thousandth time as if she still had to convince herself that last night's events hadn't just been a cruel dream. 'She kissed me and enjoyed it as much as I did.' Jenny still couldn't believe her luck. If someone had told her the previous morning that Emma didn't only like her but would kiss her like that, she would have rolled her eyes at the silly joke. Emma wasn't the first girl she'd kissed, but never had it felt like this. Not this intense, this breath-taking, this….perfect. 'Perfect.' she repeated in her head and smiled. 'She's perfect. Funny and gorgeous and intelligent and one of the most warm-hearted persons I've ever met.' She couldn't bear the thought that Emma could change her mind again when the fear got the best of her. 'I can't let that happen.' She knew it would break her heart for good this time, especially after she'd experienced what it would feel like to be with her.

They hadn't been able to talk about what happened last night. After Hotte and Emma had returned into the common room they'd remained quiet, fully aware that Hotte would listen to their every word. They'd finally fallen asleep, secretly holding hands beneath the blanket because the thought of not touching each other had been unbearable. Jenny laughed quietly. 'Secretly holding hands.' It sounded pathetic even to her own ears, as if they were twelve years old instead of eighteen, but she couldn't care less. She'd loved it. Just that simple touch had been enough to make her feel light-headed and ridiculously happy. This morning she'd woken up before Emma, had extricated herself from the blanket, careful not to wake her and had suppressed the urge to blow a soft kiss on Emma's forehead, afraid that one of her classmates might watch her. It didn't matter to her if anyone knew that she was kissing a girl, but she knew that Emma was far from ready for putting their relationship out in the open, and she respected that and would give her all the time she needed. 'Relationship? Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself here?' She had to smile at her own over-eagerness. 'Let's take this step by step. What if Emma regrets everything once she wakes up? What if her constant fear of being different from others gets the better of her again? What if, what if, what if.' Jenny slowly shook her head. 'Stop torturing yourself with worst-case scenarios, would you?'

Jenny inserted another coin into the coffee vending machine and waited for the paper cup to be filled to its brim before she carefully retrieved it and put it next to the others on a tablet.

"Good morning, sleepy-heads!" she exclaimed loudly as she entered the common room and started handing out the still steaming cups. Her heart skipped a beat as her gaze fell on Emma who rubbed her eyes sleepily and finally met her gaze. And it was all there. Confusion. Fear. And something else she couldn't quite decipher. 'Please don't regret it. Please. I wouldn't be able to stand that.'

"Coffee?" Jenny asked her quietly. Emma merely nodded and took hold of the paper cup, her eyes not leaving Jenny's. "Did you sleep okay?" Jenny ventured, hoping to elicit some kind of reaction from her. Emma nodded again, but this time she smiled while her cheeks turned slightly crimson. 'She smiled. This has to be a good sign, right?' Jenny turned towards the whole group, satisfied with that little success. "Okay, let's go, there's a lot of work to do! I'm going to take a look at the banners to see where we'll put them."

"I'll help you." Jenny almost dropped the tablet as she heard Emma's voice.

"Great." she said and felt a wide smile spread across her face. 'Don't do anything stupid now. Don't blow it.'

"Okay, I'd say the large banner works best right above the entrance. What do you think?" she asked Emma as soon as they'd entered the art room and examined the placards and banners Emma and Hotte had drawn the previous day.

"Good idea. And the smaller banner over there would fit nicely into the entrance hall."

"Yes! How about rolling this one up then?"

"Okay!"

They both got on their knees and started to roll up the banner from opposite sides, slowly working towards each other. As Jenny looked up, she realized with a start that her face was only a few centimeters apart from Emma's. Emma stared at her with such an intensity that she felt hot and cold all at once. 'You're killing me.' Her gaze flickered down to Emma's lips. 'No Jenny, don't push your luck.' She locked gazes with Emma again. Emma's eyes burnt into hers - no more fear, no more confusion. Instead a decisiveness she hadn't seen in them before. Without further ado, Emma leant towards her and kissed her or the lips, not much more than a peck before she pulled back again, such a beautiful mischievous smile on her face that Jenny literally felt her heart melt. This time Jenny didn't hesitate and leant in herself, a wide smile on her face as well. If she'd had a once in a lifetime chance to stop time, she would have used that option now without a second thought. She felt Emma's hands on her face, holding her, before Emma broke the kiss, rested her forehead against hers and looked at her so lovingly that she felt hear heart melt all over again. 'Please don't let me be dreaming.' She claimed Emma's lips once more, starving for their touch, as another thought found its way into her head, all-consuming and yet totally unexpected. 'God help me, I'm in love with her.'