Chapter 4
The Doctor noticed Sarah stirring. He stood up and crossed to her bedside. She was opening her eyes. "Sarah, can you hear me?" he said while picking up her right hand being careful not to disturb the IV.
"Doctor?" Sarah said in a low weak voice, almost a whisper.
"It's all right, you're safe. Do you remember what happened?" he asked watching her face. She looked confused at first, then embarrassed as she remembered.
"Oh, no! I'm so sorry. You don't have to stay. I'll be all right, really." She started to try and get up but the Doctor held her down firmly. She wished she could disappear, she was so terribly embarrassed. He would never let her work for him now. He probably wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. "Please let me go. I'm not worth caring about, don't you see that? I'm too much trouble. Please just let me go, please." Sarah turned her head away and was crying uncontrollably.
"Sarah, what are you talking about? I could never let you go. You are worth everything to me. As far as trouble goes, there are few that can surpass me in that field. Please don't turn away from me, I need you." pleaded the Doctor.
"You don't need me, there are countless people that would love the job of being your assistant. You are a kind and wonderful man. I don't deserve your attention. Can't you see that?" said Sarah trying to convince him.
"You actually believe that don't you?" Sarah looked down, tears cascading down her face. "Sarah, you have touched a part of my soul that no one has 'ever' touched, a part that I never even knew existed. I'm not trying to scare you or overwhelm you, but I need you. And I think if you'll look deep in your heart, you'll see that you need me too." he said cupping his right hand around her face.
When she looked at his face, she could see the love in his eyes. But how much more would it take before he left her? She couldn't let him get any closer, it would just hurt them both. "Please stop, I can't fight back. I don't have any more fight left in me." Sarah pleaded.
"Sarah I'm so sorry to start this now, but I believe if we don't, we could be putting your life at risk." Sarah was starting to look scared, really scared. "I want you to know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing that you could say that would cause me to leave you." He looked at Sarah trying to let her calm herself and to prepare her for what was to come. He looked at the door and saw the 'Patient Is Not To Be Disturbed' sign that was hung on the inside of the door. He stood up and walked to the door, removed the sign and opened the door and hung the sign on the outside. He returned to her bedside feeling sorry for her. She looked like a frightened, wounded animal.
He sat back down in the chair and took a cursory check of all the monitor's displays. He hated this, but sitting here staring her down wasn't going to accomplish anything.
"Sarah on the night when you were caught in the Averian beam you were brought here for treatment. You were sick. Do you remember any of this?"
Sarah shook her head no. "When I returned to UNIT, I took you into the Tardis to scan you in a Gallifreyan Medical Scanner. Your temperature was over 104°F and you were delirious. You were crying out begging your mother and father not to hurt you." Sarah was now openly crying and trying to avoid eye contact with him.
"Sarah, I think the panic you feel is because of your childhood and everything that was done to you. Please understand that I'm not saying that you don't have a right to your feelings, because you do. I think that maybe you should go back to the psychologist that treated you to begin with and hopefully he can help you come to terms with everything. I could arrange for him or her to come…" he stopped when Sarah let out a nervous laugh and started to shake her head.
"Please just let me go. I promise that you'll never have to see me again. I won't be any trouble." she pleaded, sounding desperate.
"Sarah you need to talk to someone, if you'll let me call your phys…" he started.
"You don't understand." said Sarah.
"I want to, but I think maybe someone who is already familiar with your ca…" the Doctor tried again.
"Don't you get it? There is no psychologist, there is no physician. There's only me. That's all there ever has been, just me." Sarah yelled as loud as her tired body would allow.
"You've never talked to anyone?" Sarah shook her head no. "How have you sur…, I mean, how could you survive without telling anyone? A teacher, a friend, anyone who could have helped." the Doctor asked incredulously.
"I never told anyone. I wasn't around people, not normal ones anyway, till I ran away. Then I pushed it away, I didn't have time for it. I was simply trying to survive. But I'm not sorry I ran away. It was worth anything that could have happened to me." Sarah started crying again. She was so tired.
"Can I be the one to help you? I hope you know in your heart that you can trust me. I want you to be healthy and happy. Unfortunately in order to do that we have to exercise some demons. I only hope you trust me enough to be the one to help you. I promise you that anything you tell me will stay between us and no one else." The Doctor looked Sarah in the eyes and saw a flicker of hope there. "Will you let me help you?" Sarah looked down at her hands then shook her head yes.
"Sarah, I promise you that I'll do everything in my power to help you. Do you trust me?" asked the Doctor smiling at Sarah and holding his hand out.
"I trust you." she said taking his extended hand. "No hard feelings, I won't hold you to your offers. Don't worry, I'll be fine." said Sarah with a ragged breath.
"My offers? Oh the assistant job and the room in the Tardis." he said shaking his head yes to match Sarah's. The bobbing of his head turned into a shake of no, shaking his head left and right. "No fair. You already agreed. You're not getting out of it that easy." he said smiling at Sarah.
"But Doctor, you've seen me at my worst. I had it under control, but since I've been sick I can't control it. Please reconsider." she pleaded.
"My dear Sarah, no one I have ever met has full control when they're as ill as you have been. That's not what this is about. This is about letting someone else, that would be me," he said with a smile pointing to himself, "help you carry your burden. A burden that was put on you without your consent. You have been alone with this for far too long. I want to help you. But right now is not the time. Right now, I want to give you something for the pain you're in, no arguments. Then I'm going to stay right here while you sleep. Harry is supposed to get some nurses to help me take care of you. If I'm not here, I'll more than likely be in the Tardis getting ready for a special VIP." At this, both Sarah and the Doctor smiled at each other. There will always be someone here if you need anything. If you need me, the nurse will be able to contact me." He said all of this while walking across the room to his bag of medical supplies from the Tardis. He withdrew a dose of Kersh into a syringe, deciding he would add it to the IV.
"Now, I want you to try and relax and sleep. Don't worry about anything. Together, you and I will sort this out." he said with a smile, looking in her green eyes as they fluttered shut. He sat down in the chair and watched her sleep. He was glad this part was over with, and dreading the future, when all the facts would come out. He had to be strong for Sarah. He had to help her heal her mind.
He heard a sound and looked back to see a nurse sticking her head in the door. Using his hands, he motioned for her to come inside. He rose and walked over to the door to meet her. "Hello, I'm the Doctor." he said with a smile, holding out his hand. She was in her mid twenties, with long red hair.
"Hello Doctor. My name is Miss. Winters. I'll be on duty from three PM to eleven PM. What are your orders?" she asked after shaking the Doctor's hand.
"Basically, I just need you to keep an up to date list of Sarah's vitals on her chart and an eye on her IV. I need to run out for a minute. I should be back well before it's time to change her IV bags. There's a cell phone on the counter by the sink. If you need me for any reason at all don't hesitate to call me. All you have to do is hit one and it will call me. Do you have any questions Miss. Winters?" finished the Doctor tiredly.
"No Doctor, I believe you have covered everything." she said going to the foot of Sarah's bed and looking at her chart.
She's no Mrs. Granger thought the Doctor, but she'll do. He wanted to tidy a few things up to ready Sarah's room in the Tardis.
Once he closed the Tardis' door, he leaned against it and sighed. What if he couldn't help her? Ridiculous, he thought. I can fix anything. But what if your anger boils over when you find out all the facts? It won't, he answered himself then added, and if it does, I'll make sure I'm not around Sarah. But what…"What if, is that all you can say?" he yelled at himself. Sometimes the internal struggles were maddening. He decided to ignore it. He decided that he would do his very best, which regardless of all the self recrimination was all he could do.
He left the console room and walked down the hallway to Sarah's room, at least it would be once she was well enough to be here. He opened the door and was pleased with the design the Tardis along with his input had come up with. An elegant, serene, but definitely a woman's bedroom. The cabbage rose print on the upholstered pieces and the headboard along with the small feminine stripes on accent pieces looked beautiful with the solid colors of the bedspread and pillows around the room. He walked over to the desk he had chosen and decided it would fit Sarah perfectly. This looked great, if he did say so himself. If the Time Lords ever stranded him on Earth, he could be an interior designer. Wouldn't the Time Lords love that, he thought. With a smile he turned and shut the door to the room.
He checked the message system in the Tardis. No news was good news, as far as Gallifrey was concerned he decided. He made a cursory check of all the Tardis' systems. "Perfect as usual old girl." he said while patting the console. He rounded the console and touched the button that would open the door.
"Ah hum." The Brigadier cleared his voice to alert the Doctor to his presence as he stepped from the Tardis.
"Ah, Alistair you should really get whatever is stuck in your throat looked at. It sounds nasty." the Doctor said with a smile while locking the Tardis door.
"Well I'm greatly relieved you haven't lost your sense of humor Doctor." said the Brigadier sincerely. "I heard about the little 'walk' Miss. Smith took. I assume she's going to be all right."
"Yes, she did take a little jaunt. I don't recommend it however." he said with a small smile hiding his true feelings of uncertainty.
The Brigadier wasn't fooled. He knew that under the smile was someone in crisis. "Doctor, you don't have to put on a show for me. I know you're disturbed by this." the Brigadier bowed his head before continuing. "Doctor, are you sure this is a good idea?" When he didn't receive an answer he continued. "I like Miss. Smith, I admire her spunk. She has the survival skills that half of my men sadly lack."
"But?" asked the Doctor looking into the Brigadier's eyes.
"But, I know you. I realize you feel drawn to her. You're both impulsive, passionate, determined people. Are you sure she can even be fix…?" the Brigadier was interrupted.
"She's not a broken piece of equipment Alistair! She's so much more than you or anyone else has ever given her credit for! She is the bravest person I have ever met. I'm not trying to make her conform to some set of predetermined rules Alistair." The Doctor stopped pacing and looked at the Brigadier. "You know don't you?" asked the Doctor passionately.
"Know what Doctor? I know that there is something terribly wrong with Sarah," he started, feeling that talking about her so personally it seemed only correct to use her first name, "that someone did to her. That much I gathered. But more importantly, I know that you have some very strong feelings for her. I'm not trying to argue with you. I feel that as your friend, I should point out the obvious. Get you to look at all the angles." he explained to the Doctor, who was suddenly looking very innocent and bewildered.
"Brigadier…Alistair. When I look at Sarah I see my future. I can't picture tomorrow without her in it. I think she feels the same way. All I want is the opportunity to help her be the best she can be. After talking to her, I know that she wants that too. I've never felt like this before, about anyone. You'll have to excuse me, I've got to get back to her." he said turning to leave. "Alistair thank you, I do consider you one of my closest friends and I appreciate your thoughts, I'm sure it will all work out." he smiled at the Brigadier and left.
"My dear Doctor, first loves rarely become the one and only love, that's why they call it a first. I hope you know what you're doing." he said once the Doctor was out of earshot and walking away.
He arrived at Sarah's room in time to see the veritable changing of the guards so to speak. Miss. Winters was going over Sarah's chart with the new nurse. "Oh there you are Doctor. Allow me to introduce Mrs. Speary. Mrs. Speary, this is the Doctor."
They exchanged handshakes. Mrs. Speary was a tall, regal looking woman in her late thirties with short black hair. She was a bit airy the Doctor thought, but she would do. "Doctor, do you have any new orders?" Mrs. Speary asked watching the Doctor look over the chart.
"What? No, thank you." the Doctor answered with a smile. He was getting into his medical bag and removing the Raprio. He took a syringe and filled it and then added it to the IV line going into Sarah's arm. Sarah was sleeping peacefully and he wanted to keep it that way. When he finished, he nearly ran into the nurse. "Shall we dance?" he asked with a smile.
"I'm terribly sorry Doctor. I was going to add the drug to her chart but I don't recognize it." said Mrs. Speary.
"Well you wouldn't." said the Doctor. "Let's say it's an experimental drug, yes I think I like that. It's an experimental drug." said the Doctor in a way that would put an end to all questions. He decided that phrase could come in handy in the future, 'experimental drug', yes he definitely liked that.
He took the chart from the nurse and filled in the necessary information. As he handed it to her, his eyes caught movement from Sarah's bed.
"Hi, am I missing a party?" asked Sarah trying to sit up.
"Oh, no you don't." the Doctor said gently pushing Sarah back down. "It's well past your bedtime."
"Ah, but I have you there. I've been sleeping all day." said Sarah trying to prove her point.
"But why have you been sleeping all day? Because you're ill. And you aren't well yet. Set, point and match." replied the Doctor proudly.
"I don't feel ill." said Sarah, still trying.
"If I were to stand you up right this minute…" said the Doctor pointing a finger at Sarah.
"I would bite off your finger. Didn't anyone ever tell you that pointing was rude?" she said with a smile. "I can go on like this all night. Can you?" she asked with a twinkle in her eyes. It wasn't often she met anyone that liked to argue as much as she did.
"You would be surprised how long I can argue. And sometime you'll find out, but not tonight." The Doctor lowered the lights and pulled a chair up to the side of Sarah's bed and sat down. "Listen Sarah, I'll make you a deal. If I scan your foot in the morning and the clot is gone and your vitals are still good, I'll move you into the Tardis. Would that make you happy?" he finished with a big smile.
"Get out of here, seriously? But what about," Sarah started looking at the nurse. "about the other stuff?" asked Sarah not wanting to openly talk about her personal life in front of strangers.
"Because of." the Doctor was looking at Sarah and rolled his eyes towards the nurse in a way that only Sarah could see. "I thought that the Tardis was the best place to discuss that." he said with a knowing smile. He didn't want to discuss Sarah's life in open court either.
We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, so get some sleep. That's an order." he said with mock anger. Sarah returned the smile and closed her eyes and in no time was fast asleep.
The Doctor made himself comfortable in the chair next to Sarah's bed and was asleep in no time himself.
Morning came quickly, thought the Doctor as he was waking up. He looked toward the sound that had caused him to awaken. It was a new nurse. They must have changed shifts while I slept he thought. He quietly rose from the chair and looked at Sarah. She seemed to be still sleeping. Good, he thought. This will be a rough day for her, a day he wanted to wait for a proper time to attack. As with everything in life, there's no time like the present. He did a cursory stretch and then walked over to the nurse.
"Hello, my name is Miss. Acrims." she said while extending her hand. When I arrived you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you. I hope that was all right. Miss. Smith's readings have remained unchanged. Are there any new orders?" she asked acting very professional, though oddly. The Doctor thought she looked into his eyes a rather long time. And the handshake seemed to also go on a bit longer than necessary. He decided that he would think about this later. He would focus on getting Sarah out of here and safely inside the Tardis.
"You'll more than likely only be here for a few hours Miss. Acrims. I hope to be able to release her today." said the Doctor, noticing again that she seemed to be looking a little too intimately and standing a little too close.
"Good morning Doctor. I'm ready to go." Sarah said attempting to swing her legs over the side of the bed. She had awoken and was more than ready to get out of Sick Bay.
The Doctor rushed forward in time to stop her. "I need to check everything, that was the deal remember?" he said getting her resettled under the blankets.
"All right, let's get this over with then." said Sarah, anxious to leave the Sick Bay.
"If I didn't know better, I would think this isn't your favorite place." said the Doctor with a look of mock surprise on his face.
"This isn't who's favorite place?" asked Harry who had stuck his head in the door.
"Sarah's. She just doesn't appreciate a real military hospital. What with all the events? Bedpans at forty paces, the doctors shooting enemas off the nurses heads and of course we can't forget…".
"Name that specimen." said Harry with a big grin.
"Harry, Harry, Harry. That is so wrong on so many different levels." the Doctor dressed down Harry while trying to hide his smile.
"I think however disturbing it was, you were very clever Harry." chimed in Sarah.
"Why thank you Sarah. Wait a minute, what?" asked Harry now totally confused.
The Doctor smiled at Sarah. "She really wants out of here Harry. Maybe we should let her have her way, just this once. What do you think Harry?" said the Doctor winking at Sarah.
"Well, I…" started Harry.
"That's wonderful Harry. With a glowing recommendation like that, well what can I even add?" he looked to Sarah who was laughing and then to Harry who was looking confused. There was that nurse again. Somehow she had moved even closer to him. She seemed to be hanging onto his every word. It's just as well Sarah would more than likely be leaving today. He decided to get started with the exam now.
The Doctor walked over to his bag and pulled out the Gallifreyan medical scanner. He walked to the end of Sarah's bed and lifted the covers off her feet so that he could check on the bruising. It still looked very painful, which whether Sarah would admit it or not, he knew it was. He ran the scanner along her foot and then up both legs and over the rest of her body. "It appears that the Raprio has indeed worked."
"Raprio?" asked the nurse who was once again standing very close to his side. He caught an exchanged look between Sarah and Harry telling him it wasn't just his imagination.
"It's an experimental drug." He looked up at the monitors and decided her readings were near enough to normal. He walked over and took her temperature. It was 99.5°F, close enough. "All right Sarah, you're out of here." he said, and immediately Sarah started moving about till he reached out and stopped her. "I said you were leaving, I didn't say you were running at full speed out of here." Sarah looked hurt. "I'm sorry Sarah, but the fact is you're still very weak, you have a foot that you won't be able to put any weight on for probably a few weeks. Plus you will still be on medication, even in the Tardis."
"The Tardis?" the nurse questioned, moving in closer. "I could continue my 'services' for 'you' in the Tardis." Miss. Acrims said with emphasis as she moved next to the bed situating herself between the Doctor and Sarah.
This time the Doctor looked to Harry for some help. Harry nodded and approached the nurse. He had only briefly met her today when she clocked in for duty. She was new to the base. "Miss. Acrims could you check on the other patients please? We're rather shorthanded today."
"But what if the Doctor needs me?" Miss. Acrims asked with a pout on her face while she turned back towards the Doctor.
"I'm here if he needs anything. That will be all nurse." Harry walked over to the door and held it open.
"I'll be back as soon as I can Doctor." she said smiling and tilting her head to the side as the door closed, shutting out her view of the room.
"What was that all about?" asked Sarah.
"I have no idea. Let's finish this so that we can get out of here." said the Doctor uncomfortably.
"I'm going to check on the other patients and Miss. Acrims. If I don't see you before you leave Sarah, good luck with your recovery. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask. The same goes for you Doctor. Goodbye." said Harry trying to control a laugh that was trying to escape at the Doctor's visible discomfort. He shut the door and let out a small laugh.
"I heard that!" Harry heard the Doctor yell as he walked away. The Doctor, the 'chick magnet', you just couldn't make this stuff up he thought. He'd have to remember to tell Benton about this.
"We have to go over a few ground rules, okay Sarah?" Sarah nodded her head yes. "You're not going to be able to walk and get around for a few weeks, so just let me take care of you. I want you to agree to this, all right?" Sarah shook her head yes again. "I'm going to continue the medicine that you're on now to keep your road to recovery as smooth as possible. As far as the things we need to talk about, we'll start that as soon as your body is able to handle it. I don't think you know how much the change of rooms and getting settled in will affect you. Just promise me you'll take it slow, get a lot of rest and sleep and in general do as I ask. Promise?" he asked while bending over and taking her hands in his.
"Yes. I don't know how to thank you Doctor. You've saved me countless times now. I just want you to know how much it means to me. And to especially, thank you for being my friend." Sarah said with a tear in her eye. The Doctor reached over her IV and hugged her carefully ever mindful of her injuries.
"Let's get this IV out and get going, shall we?" said the Doctor to a now smiling Sarah. He carefully withdrew the needle and cleaned her arm and put a bandage over the injection site. Her arm was badly bruised by the needle. He would have to be careful of it, he reminded himself. He walked over to the corner of the room and pulled out a wheelchair. Sarah made a face. With a deadly serious face he said, "You have to do this Sarah. I need to take everything in one trip so that I don't have to face that nurse again." They both laughed at that.
"All right. Let's roll." Sarah said, and the Doctor rolled his eyes as he gathered the last of his stuff. With that, the Doctor helped Sarah into a military issue robe then lifted Sarah from her bed and placed a blanket over her and his medical bag in her lap. Ready?" he asked her. She smiled her answer.
He rolled the wheelchair through the door of the Tardis. Sarah vaguely remembered the console room, but to see it wide awake, she found it to be amazing. She loved the roundels on the walls and she thought the central console was really beautiful. It was all like a work of art. A work of art that she felt honored to see.
The Doctor watched Sarah's reaction, and it was all that he hoped it would be. Most that entered the Tardis viewed it as something that was too 'foreign' to be considered anything but strange. Sarah on the other hand, viewed the Tardis as he did. It or 'she' as he referred to her, was a thing of never ending wonder and never ending beauty. He was glad to see that she felt comfortable here, in spite of the fact that she had almost lost her life here.
"So what do you think of the old girl?" he said as if he were a proud father showing of his progeny.
"I think, she's beautiful!" Sarah beamed. "I love everything about her."
"I'm happy to hear it, but this is far from the whole ship. I'll give you a brief tour. Do you feel up to it?"
"Are you kidding? I can't wait!" she said with such enthusiasm that it warmed his hearts.
"All right through this doorway is the main hallway. All other corridors branch off from this hallway. We'll go to the right first. At the end of the first corridor on your left is the Tardis' library. We'll have a quick peek in there." He pushed Sarah through the library door. There were thousands of books lining countless bookcases.
"I bet you have more books than the London Library. This room is enormous. I love books, don't you?" she said turning in her chair to look up at the Doctor who was beaming.
"I love books too. The books in this room aren't just books from your planet, but books from and about planets all over the galaxy. They are in all languages, but one day you will be able to read all of them." he said mysteriously.
"That would be wonderful." Sarah replied, wishing she could get started now. She loved to read.
"On to the next room." said the Doctor steering Sarah's chair towards the hallway. He continued down the hallway and looked to a room at the end of a corridor on the right. This is what I call the Tardis' entertainment room. He wheeled her into a large room with dark red velvet curtains and deep red overstuffed sofas. There is a popcorn machine and various drink machines as well as an abundance of various candies that appeared to come from different planets. There were rows and rows of movies that reached floor to ceiling. At the end of the room, in front of the sofas was a floor to ceiling screen.
"This is beyond amazing. It's everything you could ever want in a theater but
at home." said Sarah enthusiastically.
He was beside himself, she referred to the Tardis as home. He knew he must be grinning from ear to ear, because she was staring with an equally large smile on her face. "On to the next room." he said looking down. He once again went back to the main hallway and this time took the next corridor to the left. He pushed Sarah through the door to show her the Tardis' game room.
This room was full of every video game known to man and a few other species in the galaxy. Shelves and shelves full of board games. In the far end of the room was a large pool table, a ping pong table, an air hockey table, slot machines and various pinball machines and more video game machines than Sarah had ever seen in one place. "This is incredible, you have so many." she said waving her hand to indicate the video game machines. Then asked with a small smile, "Do you know how to play poker?"
"Yes I do. We'll have to play sometime. As for the other games, well, I like to keep busy." he tried to sound casual about it all, but wasn't quite pulling it off. "So…" he started but could see Sarah casually trying to hold her foot up. From looking at the side of her face, he could see she was clenching her jaw in an attempt to hide the pain. "I think we should continue this later, maybe after a nap." he said turning the chair around and heading for Sarah's room.
"Sorry, you were right, I am a little tired. Maybe just a little nap." Sarah conceded.
The Doctor smiled, anticipating what he hoped would be Sarah's reaction to her room. He passed the console room and continued down the main hallway toward the bedrooms. As he neared Sarah's door, he could almost feel the tension in the air. His was hoping the room would be something Sarah would treasure and feel safe in.
Sarah was hoping that the Doctor hadn't went to a lot of trouble. From the first day she had run away till the day she had met the Doctor, she had always managed to take care of herself without help from anyone. She owed no one and she had never taken a handout from anyone. But for some reason she couldn't quite comprehend, this was different. She knew this 'was' something special, something wonderful. The Doctor had never asked her for anything and she didn't believe he ever would. He was a kind and gentle individual and she enjoyed his company.
He stopped the chair at the door and turned the knob. He stood in front of Sarah and smiled. She was looking at him with such admiration. He pushed open the door and stepped out of the way.
Sarah's eyes were looking everywhere, taking it all in. He couldn't remember when he had seen a more beautiful smile. He would remember this smile and the look of awe on her face for a long time. He returned to the back of the chair and slowly pushed her in. "So, I take it you approve?" he said smiling at her reaction.
"This is for me? All of this is for me?" she said looking at the Doctor who had now crouched down next to her chair. He answered her with a simple shake of his head and a tremendous smile. "This is too much. I've never ever been in such a nice room. I get to stay here?" she said unbelievably.
"Stay here no, live here, yes. It's yours, forever if you want." He bit his tongue after saying that. What was wrong with him? He was going to scare her off before anything ever had a chance to develop. He looked down at her ready to apologize for being so forward. She was smiling at him, that was all. No looks of fear, nothing. With one look she stopped the voice of all the self recriminations going through his head. "I…I'm glad you like it. I didn't mean to imply…I just hope you'll stay awhile, but only if you want to." he added, hoping he didn't sound desperate.
"I know, and I hope I get to stay awhile too. I'm just so amazed. I feel like a princess." she said with more excitement than he thought she had strength for.
"Well then, would you like the full tour Princess Sarah?" he said, and she shook her head yes. "Well first, to your left we find a storage armoire and a closet for your clothes. In the corner my lady, you will find a full length mirror to admire yourself in, before holding court with all your ladies in waiting that is." He looked down to see her smiling. "And continuing on, you will find your dresser here Princess. This is where you will brush your hair and put on all the crown jewels. At the other end of the room, he said while rolling Sarah to a small alcove behind a heavy rose colored satin drape in which he pulled to the side with a chunky gold tieback, is something special.
He stepped forward and flipped a switch which turned on a series of pinpoint lights. At the end of alcove, was a beautiful French provincial desk. It had a beautiful clear crystal lamp on it and various office supplies. He looked at her with another big smile and said, "So you can concentrate on your work without distractions." he reached forward and unhooked the tassel, letting the heavy fabric fall across the door. He returned to the back of her chair and backed it up.
"Next my lady behind this door you will find your own private bathroom complete with tub. I have taken the liberty of having the Brigadier's wife, Lady Doris, pick up everything you might need to enhance your bathing experience. But if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll send one of our court oafs to retain it for you." he said while bowing at the waist and extending his arm in a sweeping motion as part of the grand gesture.
"I'm sure that there's more than enough here. I'm so astonished that you took the time to do this for me, a virtual stranger." she said with a tremor in her voice.
The Doctor looked into Sarah's eyes and said "It made me happy to do this for you. Would you like to finish the tour?" Sarah shook her head yes. "If you will be so kind as to look forward Princess, you will see your bed.
Sarah was so overwhelmed that she didn't think she could hold the tears back much longer. Her bed was not simply a bed, but a bed Sarah could only imagine that royalty must be accustomed to. A large bed with a very thick featherbed, blankets and pillows galore. And the canopy, Sarah had never envisioned a more beautiful canopy. On each side of the bed was a small bedside table. Each had a small crystal lamp.
"I know that this could be a very uncomfortable situation, so if I've overstepped please let me know, all right?" Sarah shook her head yes. "Another room in the Tardis is the wardrobe room. This is something that is necessary when you travel in time and space. Some planets require, shall we say costumes. Of course when you travel back in your Earth time, say the twenties, you wouldn't want to show up in jeans or shorts."
"Sure, that makes sense. But where is this going?" Sarah asked trying to mentally make the connection between overstepping his bounds and wearing costumes.
"I've taken a liberty that I hope you'll forgive me for." he said quizzically while turning and pushing Sarah's chair to face the armoire and closet. He walked to the armoire and opened it and the closet up to show Sarah that it was partially filled with clothes. "I know you're bound to be sick of those military pajamas so I went to the wardrobe room and the Tardis and I selected a few things that you might need. Have I overstepped? Please tell me if I have." he said trying to read Sarah's face.
"I feel honored that you would do this for me. Thank you for thinking of everything." Sarah was doing her best to hide the fact that the pain in her foot was getting worse and she was having trouble thinking. She was probably just tired she told herself. The Doctor was saying something to her, but she was having trouble keeping up with the conversation.
"Sarah? Did you hear me?" She looked at him as if confused. "Sarah, we'll talk some more later." He returned to the back of the chair and pushed it over to the bed. He could now see the pain on her face as he came around to the front of the chair. "Sarah? Sarah, I'm going to pick you up and set you on the bed, okay?" Sarah made a sound that he couldn't distinguish. He should have taken her straight to her room instead of showing her around the Tardis. She was in a mixture of pain and exhaustion. He quickly pulled back the blankets and sheet. He then carefully scooped her out of the wheelchair and laid her on the bed. He placed two pillows under her right foot and looked back at Sarah. It was obvious she was struggling with her body and the pain it was in.
He reached in the drawer and took out a syringe with Kersh in it that he had placed there earlier in anticipation of Sarah's needs. "Sarah, I'm going to give you something for the pain. Can you hear me?" She looked up in response to his question but was trying to understand it. "Sarah, I'm going to get you out of your robe and roll up your sleeve." he said making sure he didn't do anything to frighten her. He took her left arm and placed her hand under his left arm to hold it in place extended. He looked into her eyes trying to reach her. "Sarah, there's going to be a little stick now." he said inserting the needle into her arm. She let out a little whimper. "I'm sorry Sarah." he said withdrawing the needle and then wiping her arm with an alcohol pad that was with the syringe. "Sarah I want you to lie back." he said while he finished removing her robe then eased her back onto the pillows. "I'll stay with you till you fall asleep. Just close your eyes and sleep. You're safe now." he said and she closed her eyes. He stayed with her till he was sure she was asleep. He turned off both bedside lamps, then left the room.
He walked to the lab to dispose of the syringe. Her weakness was to be expected, he thought. In the last five days Sarah's body had been through the proverbial wringer. He needed to get her strong enough to be able to expel the demons that were holding her back from a normal life, a healthy life. He returned to the main hallway and went to the Tardis' library and retrieved some medical books on human illnesses. If she were to travel with him, this would be information he would need to know.
After returning to Sarah's room he sat down in a little reading area he had set up. It had a plush overstuffed big chair and a small side table with a reading lamp on it. He started to go over the books and slowly felt his eyes grow heavy.
The Doctor tried to roll over and he realized he wasn't in bed. He looked over at Sarah who was still sleeping peacefully. He looked at the clock on Sarah's bedside table and saw that it was noon.
He quietly left Sarah's room and went to the console room to check on the Tardis. Everything was as it should be. Good he thought, maybe it was a sign of good days to come. He left the console room, checked again on Sarah then headed for his bedroom. He quickly showered and changed. He had decided to fix Sarah some lunch. Before going to the Tardis' kitchen, he looked in again to find Sarah still asleep. Good, the longer she sleeps the better.
He scribbled a quick note. "Sarah, went to the kitchen to fix some lunch. Under no circumstances are you to get up! I'll be back as soon as I can. Stay in bed! Guess Who!" He left it on her bedside table where she couldn't miss it.
Once in the kitchen, the Doctor decided on grilled chicken breasts, baked potatoes, green beans and biscuits. He would try to get her to eat as much as she could. She had lost weight in her week with him. She was tiny as it was, and couldn't afford to lose any more. He put both of their lunch plates on a cart and covered them. He added some coffee and apple juice and headed for Sarah's room.
He entered Sarah's room in time to see her reading the note. "Ah, you're awake. I hope you're hungry." he said watching her taking in the smells of their lunch.
"Starved, but I need to a, go to, ah." Sarah said pointing to the bathroom door. "I know you want to help but, I'm can take care of this myself." she said with a shy smile.
"Of course. Maybe you could just let me help you to the door. Wait a minute!" he walked over to the closet and pulled out a set of crutches. "So you don't have to use your foot." he said leaving them in the bathroom's doorway.
"It looks like you've thought of everything. Thank you again." she said scooting closer to the edge of the bed.
"Wait a minute." he helped her into a sitting position and picked her up and carried her to the doorway, next to where he had left her crutches. "Easy now." he said letting her down and supporting her till she could stand on her own with the support of the crutches.
"Be right back." she said going into the bathroom. He closed the door as soon as she had cleared it. He went to the closet and pulled out the bed tray he had left in there a few days earlier. He set up her lunch and placed it on top the cart. He heard a noise and turned to see Sarah coming through the door.
"Here, let me help you from there." he said going forward to carefully pick her up and place her back in the bed.
As he adjusted the pillows behind her she said, "Would it be all right if I have a bath after lunch?"
"Sure, as long as you're up to it." he said smiling at her. "Okay, let's eat." he said as he placed the tray over her lap.
"You fixed all this yourself?" she asked looking at the Doctor.
He had taken a bite and was shaking his head yes, then no. As soon as his mouth was empty he said, "I mean I 'can' cook, but usually the Tardis gives me whatever I ask for."
She took a bite of her chicken and said, "This is truly the best chicken I have ever had. Really!" she beamed.
"I want you to eat all you can. You've lost weight."
"Ah, but that's a good thing. I could stand to shed a few pounds." she said eating a bite of her potato.
"You were perfect then and you're perfect now, just gain a few pounds. Do it just to please me, okay? You know how I can go on." he said trying to put a light spin on a serious subject.
"All right I'll try, 'but just to please you'. Happy?" she asked him, letting him know in her own way that she would do anything within her power to please him.
"Yes, thank you for thinking of me." he said in playful way, enjoying just having the opportunity to have a meal with her. They were sharing a time that he thought she wouldn't live to see. Now they had time to enjoy each other.
"I know this sounds silly, but I seem to have lost track of time." she explained. "Can you tell me what day it is?"
"It's not silly, it's totally understandable. When someone has been as ill as you have been, time seems to pass at an unrecognizable rate. The day is Thursday. Thursday, the third of November, 2005 to be exact. From what I've gathered from Sergeant Benton it is exactly three weeks from the American holiday of Thanksgiving. Is there anything else I can tell you?" he finished with a smile.
Sarah couldn't believe almost two weeks had passed. "I've lost some time it would seem." she said, sounding confused.
"Did you miss an appointment?" he asked, hoping it didn't involve a date with another man.
"No, no appointments. Did you say my car is here?" she asked nervously.
"Yes it's here, in the UNIT Underground Parking Garage, parked next to mine. "Do you need something from it? I could bring anything or everything from it. Do you want me to bring you something?" he asked concerned that she was wasting her valuable energy worrying about her few meager belongings. He tried to understand that this was her world. She had so little in Earthly possessions, perhaps she needed to have something of the life she knows around her for comfort.
"I know that sooner or later this is going to come out, so here goes. Everything I own in this entire world is in that car. Please don't feel sorry for me. It's not 'that' bad. I've made choices in my life, some good and some bad. I've always made the best of any situation I've encountered. I just haven't been able to get enough money together to keep a roof over my head and my car in shape. I need my car to get to interviews and follow leads. So my life is in that car. My laptop, my iPod, my clothes and everything else that I use on a daily basis. I don't need anything right now, I just…I need to know everything is there when I have to go back." she finished her explanation quietly, unsure of how he would react.
"Sarah," he started, putting his plate aside and moved a stool that was at the foot of the chair he was sitting in, placing it at Sarah's bedside, "I thought you understood that this was your home as long as you wanted it to be. Whether that is one week or one lifetime, this will be your room. No strings attached, ever." he started trying to swallow the lump that was in his throat at the thought of losing Sarah. "What can I say to make you feel better?"
"I don't want to hurt your feelings it's just that nobody has ever given me…I mean…, I'm sorry. I just don't want to be anyone's charity case. I shouldn't have said anything." she started to cry. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying." she said taking the handkerchief the Doctor offered.
"I do. It's because you're tired and weak. I know we talked about getting everything from your past out in the open and I still want to do that. But we shouldn't start this until you're stronger. In the meantime, I want you to think of this as your home. I'm not going to ask you to leave regardless of anything you say or do. I want to make you as happy as you make me. I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm saying this so that you understand that I'm telling you the truth. I am here for you. I would 'never ever' think of you as a charity case. I think of you as Sarah, my friend and the bravest person I know. I enjoy your company and I feel flattered that you would allow me to take care of you. I know how hard it is for you to give yourself over. Just know that I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you in any way. And as much as it would hurt me to let you go, if it's what you really want to do, I will let you go. But I'm hoping that you'll want to stay and be my assistant and more importantly, my friend." said the Doctor hoping he was able to get through to her.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. It's just that…I've never in my life trusted anyone but myself. I would do anything you asked of me and I'm trying really hard to completely trust you. I just don't want either of us to get hurt." she explained.
"I hope you'll give me a chance to be the first person who treats you as you should have been treated all along." He looked down before asking, "Do you want to leave?" He prayed she wouldn't answer yes.
"No, I don't. I want to be healthy. I want not only my body to heal, but I want to let go of the past too. Are you absolutely sure that you want me here? I won't blame you in the least if you want to let me go."
"Sarah, I want you in my life, always. I hope that doesn't frighten you, but it's the way I feel." he said noticing that Sarah was starting to look as if her pain had returned and she desperately needed rest. "I know you wanted to take a bath, but you're exhausted and you really need some sleep. So how about letting me get you something for the pain you're in and you can take a nap? While you sleep, I would be more than happy to bring all your things from your car here. When you wake up, you can take a bath and prove that you can beat me at Rummy. How does that sound?" he asked hoping he wasn't moving too fast and scaring her off.
"I would really appreciate it. What would I do without you?" she said with a smile, breaking through the tears.
"I vote that you never have to be without me." he said with a big smile, walking over to the medical bag he had placed on the bottom of the cart. He removed the vial and a syringe which he filled with Kersh. He placed a piece of gauze that had been soaked in alcohol around the needle and went to the side of Sarah's bed. "I'm sorry, I know you don't like needles but it's the only way." He lifted Sarah's right arm and wiped the injection site off and then said, "All right Sarah, look away for a second. A little sting." Sarah inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry, almost done now. Okay, it's out." he said removing the needle from Sarah's arm and wiping the spot with the gauze. "All right?" he asked looking into her eyes.
"Yes. Thank you for taking such good care of me Doctor. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for you." she said, suddenly realizing that she was more tired than she thought.
"You are very welcome. Let's rearrange your pillows and get you settled in." he said as he arranged the pillows in a more comfortable position and helped her to lay back. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"No thank you." she said and yawned. The Doctor noticed the Kersh was having a faster reaction time on her than usual. She had eaten less than a third of her lunch. He decided he would provide as many snacks as possible and encourage her to eat whenever he could. He would do whatever he had to, to get food into her thin body.
"Just close your eyes and relax. I'll be right here till you fall asleep." he said returning to the stool he had used earlier. In just a few minutes her breathing was even and deep. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully. He returned the stool to its original place and quietly pushed the cart from the room. He looked back one more time and smiled, seeing her peaceful sleeping form and quietly pulled the door partially closed.
He pushed the cart back into the kitchen and placed the dirty tableware into the dishwasher. He removed his medical bag and headed to the console room. He placed his medical bag on the shelf surrounding the central column and looked over the Tardis displays to make sure everything was as it should be. All the readings were normal. With a pat on the console he said, "Be back soon old girl." to the Tardis, grabbed his coat and turned and activated the switch to open the door and headed out.
He took the shortcut through the Mess Hall to reach the underground bunker, stopping at the back of the Mess Hall to retrieve a few boxes. He approached Sarah's car with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Excitement at the fact that this was one step closer to getting Sarah to approach a new life with him, and hopefully one day, so much more. And trepidation at seeing the life that she was forced to live, because of what he had come to think of as her scum of the Earth parents. It wasn't like him to make snap judgments of any being, but to do what they had to their daughter, it was inexcusable. Let's just get this over with so that I can get back to Sarah, he told himself.
He went to the passenger side of Sarah's car and opened the door. In the seat was a blanket and a small pillow that he imagined had been discarded hastily on the night Digger had called her. He folded the blanket and placed it in one of the boxes. Under it he found her laptop, cell phone and what he recognized as an iPod. He carefully placed these items in the box. On the floor of the passenger side was a pair of black high heeled shoes. a pair of brown boots and a pair of tennis shoes, each in their own separate plastic bag. Next to the shoes was an accordion file of what he assumed were stories she was working on. Next to that were saltine crackers and peanut butter. It broke his hearts to think this is all she had to eat.
In the small compartment in the back, behind the seats were several coats, hats and two pairs of gloves. He decided to check under the seats in case there was something that he had missed, and Sarah would need. There was nothing under the passenger seat. He walked around and opened the driver's side door and reached under the seat. He felt something soft and furry. He pulled it out and found he was holding a very worn, what must have been white at some time, stuffed bear. He carefully placed it in the bottom of the box.
He used the keys that Sergeant Benton had given him a few days ago to open the boot of the car. Inside were clothes that were meticulously folded and placed as you would in drawers. She was treating this car as if it were her world and home because it was, until now. He would make sure that she never had to live in such a small, confining world again as he carefully placed the clothes on top of the stuffed toy bear in the box, making sure they remained as Sarah had folded them. He would show Sarah worlds that were bigger than she had ever imagined.
He closed the trunk lid and looked at the four boxes that he had packed. As he was deciding on what to bring in first, he heard footsteps approaching. He turned around to see the Brigadier and Sergeant Benton approaching. "Ah gentleman, out for a leisurely stroll are we?" asked the Doctor smiling.
"No Doctor, we were looking for you and someone inside said they saw you heading this way. Is someone leaving?" asked the Brigadier looking slightly concerned.
"No, not leaving, more like moving. I thought Sarah might like her own things around her. I know that you both know she's been living in this car, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mention to Sarah that you know. I think it would embarrass her." explained the Doctor.
"Of course Doctor, don't give it another thought." said the Brigadier with a wave of his hand.
"Sure Doctor, it's no one's business but hers. Could I give you a hand with those?" Benton asked, looking around to make sure no one else was in earshot.
"I appreciate your understanding." he said looking at both men, then turned to Sergeant Benton. "And I also appreciate your offer of help, but I don't want it to get back to Sarah that you were seen carrying her things to the Tardis. You understand don't you?" asked the Doctor.
"Yes, you're right. I'm sorry." said Benton walking over to a door next to the elevator placing one of his keys in the lock and opening the door. "But I think I still may be able to help you." he said reaching inside the door and pulling out a collapsed wheeled cart. He pushed in pins on each side of the cart and the handle raised up, revealing a flat base on top of four wheels. "There you go Doctor, the answer to your problems." Benton said with a smile, pushing the cart over to the Doctor and Brigadier.
"Excellent Sergeant Benton, that's perfect." said the Brigadier praising the smiling Sergeant.
"Yes Sergeant it is indeed perfect. I can't tell you what a big help you've been." said the Doctor while patting Benton on the back.
"Glad to help. Is there anything else I can do to help Doctor?" said Benton, happy that he had not only pleased the Doctor but his commanding officer as well.
"No, I think that will be it." said the Doctor loading the cart. "Wait a minute." the Doctor said as the Brigadier and Sergeant Benton were walking away. "Didn't you say you were looking for me?" asked the Doctor as the two men halted.
"Yes I did, thank you Doctor. I thought I would give you plenty of notice so that you could get an early start on your excuse. The PM wants to have a formal but very hush hush affair to thank everyone for their help with the Averian situation. It will be fancy dress and a live band, food, drinks, the works. I know this is the sort of thing you hate, but I did promise that I would do my very best to try to get you to attend. So get back to me with something plausible that I can tell the PM about your plans." said the Brigadier knowing full well the Doctor had never been coerced in the past to attend one of these functions.
"When is this little shindig?" the Doctor asked a shocked Brigadier.
"The fastest the PM could schedule it was six weeks from today. He decided to have it under the guise of a Christmas party. So I take it you're coming?" asked the Brigadier incredulously.
"That depends. Can I bring someone?" he said with a smile.
"As long as they're cleared by the PM's staff. Who is…? Oh." said the Brigadier. "Well, I was able to get her clearance to work here at UNIT, so I'll get started on getting her cleared for this as well. At least the PM will get to see you. He said he was beginning to think that you're a figment of my imagination. Anything else I can do for you Doctor?" asked the Brigadier, in shock that he was actually going to attend one of the many affairs that the PM had arranged for UNIT.
"No Alistair, not now anyway." the Doctor said with a smile as he pulled the cart to the elevator leaving the two men looking dumbfounded.
Benton could at best describe watching the Brigadier and the Doctor discuss 'anything', as watching a tennis match. A tennis match with a little humor thrown in anyway. He smiled at the thought and looked up to see the Brigadier staring at him.
"What are you grinning about?" asked the Brigadier haughtily.
"Sir, I was just amazed that the Doctor is coming to the event Sir. Nothing else Sir." said Benton trying to backtrack his way out of trouble.
"Uh hum, let's get back to the office. I want the inventory report of the last siege on my desk by the morning." said the Brigadier. That will keep him from thinking he's pulled one over on me, he thought.
"Sir yes Sir." saluted Sergeant Benton and then turned and walked back to the office with the Brigadier.
The Doctor quietly wheeled the cart down the hallway to Sarah's door. He had left the door partially open so that he could check on her when he returned without waking her up.
Good he thought, she was still asleep. Her color looked good as well. He decided to leave the cart outside for fear of waking her. Whether she knew it or not, her body desperately needed this sleep.
Discarding his coat, he sat down again in the comfortable overstuffed chair and picked up one of the medical books from the Tardis' Library that he had brought last night. 'The Human Nervous System' he read from the cover. Just a little light reading, he thought to himself with a smile. He had made it about halfway through the book when he saw Sarah starting to toss and turn.
In the short span of time it took him to move from the chair to her bedside, the nightmare had come to a head. Sarah sat straight up in bed screaming, with a look of terror on her face. Her face was bright red and she was starting to hyperventilate.
"It's all right Sarah, you're safe. Look around, you're in your room in the Tardis. Nothing can hurt you here. Slow down your breathing." he said as Sarah did her best to do as he requested. "Good girl. Was the dream about the Averians?"
"No, if only…" she started, then broke down again.
The Doctor pushed his luck and reached forward and wrapped Sarah in his arms. She didn't pull away, if anything she seemed to relax into his arms even further. She trusts me, he thought, good. He started rubbing circles on the small of her back. He had no idea what he was doing, just doing what seemed right. He felt her relax even further. Soon he was able to hear her breathing become deep and steady. He carefully laid her back on her pillows. He adjusted the blankets over her and quietly sat back down in the chair.
He decided that Sarah would have to confront the demons that had taken her over sooner, rather than later. Barring anything drastic, he would start tomorrow. He would try to make today and tonight as stress free as possible, so that hopefully by tomorrow she would be ready physically and mentally. If one could ever be ready for such a thing.