Chapter 15

She was so in love with her that she couldn't quite put her feelings into words. Nonetheless she'd been kind of relieved when Bodo told them about his date with Lara and seemed so desperate about it that they'd both decided spontaneously to pimp him up a bit and invite him over to the Bergmanns' house to borrow some of Ben's clothes. Despite the fact that she'd been thrilled when Emma suggested to take their relationship to another level, the way Emma had been planning even the tiniest detail of that trip to the woods that was supposed to end with their long awaited 'first time' together was freaking her out a bit. What if she couldn't meet Emma's sky-high expectations? What if she disappointed her? After all it would be Emma's first time. Okay, not her 'first time ever', but her first time with a girl, and she wanted it to be special for her. She needed it to be special for her. It was Emma, after all, and not some random chick she'd chatted up in a club just for the fun of it. Her Emma. The possessiveness in her tone made her smile. 'She's mine. And I won't let her go again.' What if Emma wouldn't like it? What if she'd be getting second thoughts as soon as things got heated between them? So many 'What if's'. Another worrying thought popped into her mind: Was Emma mad at her for inviting Bodo over and ruining their plan?

„Do I really have to wear that?" Bodo groaned, interrupting Jenny's thoughts, and stared down at himself, then back at his reflection in the mirror. " Can't I just stay the way I am?"

"Sure you can." Emma replied and took another of Ben's shirts out of the closet. "The question is…:"

"Is she supposed to be aware of you?" Jenny stepped in. "To notice you? You know what I'm talking about."

"You can choose between 'Hey Bodo. Come in.'" Emma mimicked Lara's greeting in the most unenthusiastic way she could muster while Jenny bit her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"Or it's 'Hey Bodo! Come on in!'" Jenny continued with a brilliant smile and an exaggerated seductive wiggle of her eyebrows.

Bodo groaned again but relented, took the hanger from Emma's hand and went outside to change.

"Did you also change clothes a hundred times before our first date?" Emma asked playfully while she stared after Bodo's retreating form and grinned at Jenny, waiting for Bodo to re-emerge in yet another set of clothes.

"Only before our first date? You should have seen me this morning!" Jenny replied jokingly and looked at her lovingly before she turned serious again. "Are you…disappointed because we're here now and not…in the woods?"

"No, that's okay." Emma replied with a smile. "And you?"

"Nah, nonsense!" Jenny laughed, relieved about Emma's statement. "We've got all the time in the world." And she meant it. She would have laughed out loud if anyone had told her a year ago that she'd say something like this to another girl, but with Emma everything was different. A warm shiver ran down her spine as Emma gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at her so intently as if she was looking straight into her soul. She would have loved to kiss her right then, but Bodo already stomped back into the room, dressed in a striped shirt and black jacket. Jenny jumped up from the bed, scrutinized him critically, finally pulled the beanie from his head and ruffled his hair. "That's better."

"That's not too bad." Bodo conceded after he'd stared at his reflection in the mirror for several moments.

"Not too bad? You'll knock her off her feet!" Jenny clarified enthusiastically.

"She's going to fall for you, that's for sure!" Emma added.

"I bet she'll be all over you in no time!" Jenny laughed.

"What….you think that Lara is going to kiss me?" Bodo looked so worried that both girls broke into another laughing fit.

"Wow, Bodo, a kiss on the first date, that's 100 points for you!" Jenny laughed and squeezed his shoulder.

"Okay, but….."

"Don't worry, your breath is April-fresh!"

"But what if my braces will get all tangled up?"

"Tangled up in what exactly?" Emma asked a bit exasperated "Lara's hair?"

"No. When we're kissing."

"But Lara….she doesn't wear braces." Emma pointed out, amused by Bodo's obvious nervousness.

"And there are no other risks awaiting you – as far as I know she's neither wearing a tongue piercing nor a lip piercing." Jenny threw in.

"No, I would have noticed that." Bodo finally conceded.

"Yes. And two mouths and just one pair of braces, that's pretty harmless." Emma smiled.

"Just relax, okay! And now hurry up, you don't want to be late, do you?"

Bodo threw a panicked glance at this wrist-watch and immediately turned to leave. Before he closed the door behind himself, he turned around again with a grateful smile on his face. "Thanks!"

"Don't worry about it." Jenny laughed. "Have fun!" She was still smiling when she turned towards Emma.

"I think he's never kissed before!" Emma said with surprise in her voice.

"Aww, so cutely innocent!"

"So that's what you're into then!" Emma challenged her playfully.

"Hey, don't look at me like that or I can't guarantee for anything!"

"That's what I'm counting on." Emma retorted and Jenny froze as Emma's gaze locked with her own, her eyes burning with a fire she hadn't seen in them before. Desire. Passion. All the things she'd been dreaming about and which suddenly scared her out of her wits. 'What's wrong with me?' She stumbled backwards as Emma's lips met hers in a slow yet passionate kiss. 'Oh my God.' Emma's hands ran through her hair, trailed along her neck while her lips were doing the most wonderful things to her. She lost herself in the feeling of Emma's lips brushing against her own, her tongue licking her lower lip before it met hers for a slow dance. 'Emma.' The world around Jenny drew to a sudden halt as the blonde sank down on Ben's bed and pulled her with her so that she found herself lying flush on top of her. 'Emma. Emma, Emma, Emma.' Jenny's mouth developed a life of its own, kissing the blonde torturously slowly. She gasped as Emma gently shifted her weight and rolled them over, not breaking their kiss until she lay on top of her. Jenny's mind went on overload when Emma's lips trailed from her mouth down to her neck, tenderly sucking on her pulse point, occasionally nipping on her over-sensitive skin, driving her completely insane. She felt her own hips move involuntarily against Emma's and drew in a sharp breath when Emma responded immediately and gently grinded against her. 'How can she be so good at this?' When she felt Emma's hand tug at the hem of her shirt a chorus of sirens started wailing inside her head while she was flooded with so many different emotions that fought for dominance. Indescribable desire. Pure lust. Overwhelming love. But most of all – panic. 'No.' she thought although her whole body was screaming Yes! 'No.' She took hold of Emma's hand, mimicking Emma's reaction from a couple of weeks ago, stopping her before her hand would slip beneath her shirt and caress her already burning skin. 'I'm sorry.' She pleaded silently. 'So sorry.' Emma broke the kiss and looked at her quizzically.

"What…what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Everything's fine." Jenny hurriedly reassured her. 'Please don't be mad at me. Please. I don't understand it myself.' Jenny pushed herself up from the bed into a sitting position without meeting Emma's eyes.

"Shall I….I mean…did I do something wrong?"

"No. No!" 'Please don't think that. Not even for a second.' "Not at all! Quite the opposite, actually. It's just…I…" Jenny paused and felt a faint blush creep up her cheeks. 'What the hell is wrong with me? Since when am I blushing?' Jenny took Emma's hands in her own and finally met her gaze. "I'm just a little bit nervous." Emma stared at her with wide eyes. 'I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my whole life. I want it to be perfect for you. But what if I fail?'

"You?" Emma asked disbelievingly.

Jenny nodded while Emma's face broke into a wide smile. "It's….it's my first time with you after all." After her admission had passed her lips Jenny let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding while Emma gently cupped her face with her hands. There was so much love in Emma's eyes that Jenny looked at her in awe, glad that she was already sitting down because her knees had turned to jelly. 'What did I do to deserve her?' Emma grabbed the sheet, pulled it over her head until it covered both of them, and blew a chaste yet reassuring kiss on Jenny's lips before she gently pushed against her until Jenny's back hit the mattress again. 'Who would have thought it would be me who needed reassurance for this.' She sighed when Emma grazed her lips with her own, once, twice, each time so tenderly that Jenny's insecurity crumbled away with every touch. 'She wants this. She wants this as much as I do. And she doesn't want us to stop.' Just as she started to kiss Emma back, the blonde pushed herself up on her elbows, shoved the sheet away and tugged again at the hem of Jenny's shirt. This time, Jenny didn't resist. The moment Emma touched her stomach first with her nose to push her shirt further upwards her eyes flew shut, and when Emma blew a succession of little butterfly kisses on her skin she panted audibly, almost shocked by what even the lightest touch could do to her right now as she felt a surge of heat pool between her legs.

"Emma…." Jenny could hear the note of wonder in her suddenly husky voice, and obviously Emma heard it, too, because she moved upwards again with a mischievous smile on her face. Emma kissed her lovingly, sensually, and pulled the brunette into a sitting position to be able to brush Jenny's shirt over the mounds of her bra-clad breasts, finally over her head to let it fall beside the bed. Jenny could feel goose bumps erupting on her skin despite the fact that it was already burning, craving for Emma's touch. All of a sudden Jenny's mind kicked in again. 'No. Nononono. If she touches me now, I'll be done for.' She took hold of Emma's wrists, swivelled them around and pushed Emma down on the mattress with so much momentum that the air escaped from Emma's lungs with an almost audible whoosh. Emma laughed out loud at Jenny's embarrassed expression. "God, I'm sorry." Jenny groaned and rested her forehead against Emma's to calm down a bit. "You do realize that you're driving me crazy, don't you?" Jenny whispered and blew a soft kiss on Emma's nose before she kissed her deeply, relishing the quiet moan that escaped Emma's lips when their tongues met. Her fingers busied themselves with the buttons of Emma's plaid shirt, opening them one by one. "You're definitely wearing too many layers." Jenny said with a smile and playfully bit into the strap of Emma's sleeveless grey top, pulling at it with her teeth. Emma giggled and sat up to allow Jenny's hands to pull both pieces of clothing over her head in one go. Jenny bit her lip as she studied Emma's half-naked torso, her flushed cheeks, her slightly swollen lips, her tousled hair. 'I wish she'd realize how gorgeous she is.' Jenny cupped her cheek with her hand, grazed it softly with her thumb and leant in for another kiss. "You're so beautiful." she whispered against Emma's lips before she dipped her head and started kissing her neck, her collarbone, a path back to her earlobe which she bit playfully, relishing every time Emma's breath hitched. She let her hands slowly travel behind Emma's back to the clasp of her bra, expecting Emma's body to tense, but Emma showed no signs of hesitance, instead she kissed Jenny's shoulder and ran her hand through her hair.

"Jesus Christ, I really need to practice this." Jenny cursed jokingly under her breath when the clasp wouldn't budge. Emma leant back with a smile on her lips, but Jenny could see a streak of nervousness in her eyes. Nonetheless Emma reached behind herself and opened the clasp with one flick of her fingers.

"It's easy. See?" she said with a mischievous smile.

"You don't say." Jenny raised her eyebrow and laughed.

Emma laughed as well and hesitated only a second. She reached around Jenny and undid her clasp with just a single try.

"Now you're scaring me." Jenny smiled at the roguishly triumphant look on Emma's face, another memory she'd burn in her mind forever. She laid her hands on Emma's shoulders and slowly brushed the straps down her upper arms, her eyes never leaving Emma's who was visibly nervous now but mimicked her motions nonetheless until both bras lay discarded on the floor.

"Wow." Emma said quietly with a hint of awe in her voice while her gaze flickered over Jenny's torso. "You're…stunning." Jenny smiled and gently pushed Emma back on the bed again.

"And so are you." she whispered. "You're perfect." She blew a soft kiss on Emma's lips. "Perfect." She captured her lips again and kissed her deeply while she sank down on Emma until she was lying flush on top of her, both of them gasping as their skin touched. 'Oh my God.' Emma was kissing her more forcefully now, her hands running up and down her naked back, igniting all kinds of fires on Jenny's skin and way below. She dived down to Emma's neck, kissing, licking, nibbling towards her collarbone, her mind silently recording all the little sounds of pleasure which escaped Emma's lips. She felt Emma's heart hammering beneath her fingertips, mirroring her own, while she kissed a path from the blonde's throat down to the valley between her breasts, Emma's hands tangled in her hair. The sound Emma made when Jenny carefully captured her erect nipple between her teeth and massaged the other with her hand would be safely stored away in her brain, half moan, half pant, full of pleasure and desperation at the same time. 'God, I love you, I…'

"Jenny…." Emma panted throatily, her body writhing beneath Jenny's touch, pushing up against her, urging her on. Jenny didn't need to be told twice and peppered Emma's stomach with soft kisses, caressing every piece of skin she could reach with her fingertips before she pushed herself up into a sitting position and slowly started to undo the belt of Emma's jeans. She examined Emma's eyes for any sign of reluctance but all she could see in them was an almost painful desire.

"Do you trust me?" Jenny whispered nonetheless and stilled her fingers on the button.

"What?" Emma panted under her ragged breath. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Jenny's fingers trembled slightly as she pulled the zipper down and tugged Emma's jeans over her hips which the blonde had lifted to assist and finally pulled them over Emma's ankles along with her socks. 'God, I wish she could see herself right now. She's so fucking gorgeous.' Jenny got up from the bed, opened the zipper of her skirt and let it gracefully glide down her legs until it hit the floor with an almost inaudible thud.

"Come here." Emma whispered and opened her arms towards her girlfriend. Jenny smiled and carefully lay down on top of Emma again but yelped with surprise when Emma took this opportunity to roll them over and looked down on her with a mischievous smile on her face. "Well…hello there." Emma whispered and muffled Jenny's giggles with a searing kiss that left them both breathless. Jenny started as she realized that the low moan that echoed through the otherwise silent room had slipped through her own lips. 'Emma. God, Emma.' Emma's hands were everywhere, stroking, caressing, exploring, tentatively at first but quickly gaining confidence with every gasp her administrations elicited. Jenny threw her head back into the pillows when Emma's lips reached her breast and tortured it with slow strokes of her tongue, then switched to the other while her fingers raked down her sides, her nails leaving fine lines on her skin. Jenny had closed her eyes, losing herself in Emma's gentle yet decisive touches, but they flew open again when Emma's hand grew even more adventurous and brushed over Jenny's black satin panties which were already soaked through by the pooling wetness between her legs. For once she couldn't read the look in Emma's eyes as their gazes locked, but her own changed from surprise to incredulity to something else altogether when Emma repeated the motion with a little more pressure, all the while watching Jenny closely to gauge her reaction. "Emma!" Jenny moaned and tried to roll them over but Emma would have none of it and gently pushed her back down again. "You….I…" Jenny stammered, overwhelmed by the pure need that was pulsing inside her now, by the boldness of Emma's actions, by the way she was melting like wax beneath Emma's hands, but Emma shushed her with a kiss on her lips. 'It's not supposed to happen like this. I can't let her do this, it's Emma's first time after all, I can't….God!' Jenny clawed at the sheets when Emma's fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her panties and stroked through her wetness.

"Is this okay?" Emma whispered against her lips without breaking her stride.

"Yes." Jenny gasped, struggling for breath. "But Emma…."

"Shh." Emma's lips sealed her own again before she could utter any further protests while her fingers continued to explore the newly found territory. Jenny felt her hips buck involuntarily against Emma's hand and started one last desperate attempt to switch positions. Emma laughed although she was breathing heavily, too. "You're mine now. Get used to it." she said playfully and tugged Jenny's panties down her legs to gain better access. Jenny's mind blanked out when she felt Emma's fingers move against her, then move inside her, tentatively at first, before she met the rhythm Jenny's hips had set as if they' developed a life of their own, while her thumb kept stroking her with just the right amount of pressure. 'How can she….Christ…how….'. She felt herself spiralling upwards, downwards, everywhere at once with dizzying speed, felt Emma's lips on her neck, her throat, her tongue teasing her nipples, her teeth nipping all the way back up to her earlobe while her own breath was coming in shorter and shorter gasps and drops of perspiration ran down her temple. 'Jesus, she's making me….'

"Kiss me." Jenny almost choked on the words, already too far gone, and as soon as Emma's lips met her own she panted into her mouth while her body started to tremble uncontrollably. '.' She held on to the blonde as if she were drowning, felt Emma blow butterfly kisses on her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids while the movements of her fingers slowed and finally drew to a halt. She looked up in Emma's smiling eyes and kissed her lovingly.

"That was…amazing. You are amazing." Jenny said quietly and brushed a strand of hair behind Emma's ear. "But it wasn't supposed to happen this way."

"Says who?" Emma replied with a mischievous smile. Jenny laughed at Emma's feigned stubbornness and finally – finally – rolled them over.