A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

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Sleep didn't come easy that night. Even though there was a cocktail of alcohol and narcotics coursing through my system, I was still restless. Images continually flashed through my mind - my step father hitting me, my mother sprawled out on the couch high as a kite, Renee lying in the hospital bed fading away, Charlie charging at me, Edward walking away and Alice smiling brightly.

Just as I was able to finally fall asleep, I heard knocking at my front door. I sat up and tried to open my eyes as the knocking continued. Pissed that someone dared to show up unannounced at my apartment and hinder my sleep, I threw myself back down on the bed and covered my head with a pillow.

The knocking refused to quit and I seriously contemplated calling the cops and screaming harassment. After another thirty seconds of knocking, I begrudgingly pulled myself out of bed and to the front door. I smiled to myself, thinking it must be Edward. He couldn't stay mad long, but I was going to make him suffer just a little.

I swung open the door.

"Look, fucker –"

I immediately shut up when I saw the one person I least expected.

Alice.

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APOV

After his disappearance last night, I knew I needed to get to the bottom of what was getting to Jasper. When Edward returned after speaking to him, a combination of emotions washed over his features. He looked hurt, sad and extremely pissed off. Angela and I asked him what happened, but he just told us Jasper wasn't feeling well and needed to go home.

"Alice, I'm sorry he walked out like that. He's not feeling…well."

"It's okay, Edward, I understand."

"You're much better than I am. If I were you, I'd be pissed."

"I just know that something is really bothering Jasper right now. When we were taking our turns, he completely zoned out. When I got his attention again it was like he did a complete 180. Granted, he was never an open book before, but he seemed to close himself off even more."

"Yeah, I thought I could help him, but I now know his shit goes way beyond needing a friend. He's made it very clear he doesn't need or want one, so whatever."

I watched as Edward looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw. Whatever happened outside obviously affected him deeply, even though he didn't want anyone else to know.

"I don't think that's true, Edward. Jasper needs friends, whether he wants to admit it or not. None of us should turn our backs on him, especially when he seems to need us most."

Edward looked back up at me then, his eyes very serious.

"Alice, please be careful. He can be a fun guy, but he also has the ability to cut deep with his words."

"I will, but I need to ask you a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I need you to tell me where Jasper lives."

Edward shook his head quickly.

"No, Alice."

"Edward, please. He needs someone to talk to."

"He doesn't want to talk to anyone. He just said he wants to be left alone."

"Come on. You and I both know that's a lie."

"I'm not convinced."

"I promise I'll leave if things get sketchy, but I doubt they will. He's always been nice to me – awkward, but nice."

"Okay, but like I said, be careful."

"Edward, you're acting like he's a crazed murderer or something."

"No, I'm just looking out for you."

I stepped closer and pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks for looking out for me. I do appreciate it."

He pulled away and smiled that cute crooked smile that makes Angela swoon. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair and became very serious again.

"He lives a few doors down from me."

I nodded my head.

"But if you feel uncomfortable at all, give me a call or just haul ass to my apartment, okay?"

I laughed at his sudden over-protectiveness. Trying to lighten the mood a little, I saluted him.

"I'm serious, Alice."

"Okay, okay! Geez, you're worse than an older brother!"

"Well, I always wanted siblings…I guess you'll do."

I playfully punched his arm and he held it pretending to be hurt.

"I couldn't have a better big brother."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we returned to Angela.

"Just promise me, little sis. Don't try to be a hero and think you can save him all on your own. I think he needs a professional, but that's just my opinion."

"Alright, big bro, I promise."

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So there I was, knocking on Jasper's door, hoping he'd answer. Finally I heard some shuffling and grumbling on the other side.

Suddenly the door flew open and I was met with a very disheveled Jasper shouting, "Look, fucker –"

He quickly closed his mouth when he saw me standing there and I can only assume I was the last person he thought he'd see.

"Hey, Jasper," I said quietly. "Do you mind if I come in?"

He stood in the doorway and blinked repeatedly. Did he think I was a mirage? Was he completely freaked out by my being there? Finally he snapped out of his daze.

"Um, yeah. Come in."

He stepped back and allowed me to walk into his apartment. It was quite plain with just the necessities. I walked towards couch and he quickly walked past me.

"Sorry for the mess. I wasn't expecting...uh, company."

"Don't worry about it," I replied.

He quickly picked up random things that were strewn around.

"Uh…do you mind if I take a shower? I'll only be a few minutes," he asked nervously.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll be here when you're finished."

"Okay."

About ten minutes later, Jasper emerged from his bathroom freshly showered. My eyes grew wide as I took him in and he nervously tidied up. He certainly was a beautiful man, how could anyone not see that, but it was so sad that he couldn't see his beauty. He believed that hiding behind false bravado and arrogance could keep everyone at a distance and he'd protect himself from getting hurt. I knew a little of the pain he'd suffered as a child, so I could understand his defensive mechanism. Edward mentioned that Jasper needed a professional, and I agreed, but first I wanted to let him know that he didn't have to bottle up all of his feelings and that he had friends who would listen, Edward included.

Once he deemed the apartment presentable, Jasper sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

"What are you doing here?"

I was about to answer when he closed his eyes and frowned.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded."

I smiled. "It's okay. I just wanted to check up on you and see if you're feeling better."

He looked at me, confused. After a few moments, understanding washed over him.

"Yeah, I feel okay, I guess."

"Good," I replied. "So what happened yesterday?"

Jasper looked down and began playing with the fraying threads on his worn couch.

"Nothing."

"Jasper, that was definitely something. One minute you seemed to be having a little fun and the next you're running out. Edward looked like he wanted to cry, spit and punch something when he returned. What did you say to him?"

"Why do you assume I did something wrong," he said bitterly.

"I'm not assuming anything. I just want to figure out what's going on."

Rubbing his hands over his face, he sunk down into the couch and stared at the ceiling.

He threw his arms down at his sides and exhaled loudly.

"I really don't want to."

I scooted closer to him and lightly rested my hand over his. He slowly turned his head and locked eyes with mine. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. I had to make him understand that he could trust me enough to talk about what has haunting him so fiercely. He had to know that there actually are people who would be there for him.

"Please," I whispered.

His stare increased in intensity and I could have sworn I saw a flash of determination.

Sighing once again, he looked back up at the ceiling. I waited patiently knowing he was fighting a battle inside his head.

"Yesterday," he began, "a memory popped into my head. It was a memory I'd tried hard to push out of my mind, but I now know it was just hidden and waiting to re-emerge."

"Charlie, my….my….well, the guy who adopted me once I got out of foster care, and I had gotten into an argument one evening. His wife, Renee, had just passed away a few months earlier and he couldn't seem to move forward. I missed the fun we used to have before she got sick and suggested that he and I go bowling like we used to. He didn't want to but I kept pushing. I told him he needed to at least try to move on because there was nothing either of us could do to bring Renee back. He didn't like that and we argued. At one point I pissed him off enough that he charged me. He was primed and ready to hit me, push me, I don't know. Once he realized what he'd almost done he tried to apologize, but I didn't want to hear it. All I saw was my prick of a step father at that point – the bastard who made my life a living hell for years and the asshole who abused me and pretty much broke me emotionally. The bruises and the scars he left eventually healed, but I always carried his words with me. 'You're nothing but a waste of space,' he'd tell me. He called me stupid, retarded and any and every name you shouldn't call a child. Meanwhile, my sorry excuse for a mother just sat back and let it happen. She was too concerned with getting her next fix…or her next trick."

I quietly gasped as I listened to Jasper bare his soul, finally allowing some of the pain, confusion and anger spill from him. The venom in Jasper's voice as he spoke about his parents was frightening. How could someone do such things to an innocent child? My eyes began to get misty, but I held back the tears because I needed to be strong for Jasper.

"Jasper, whatever happened to Charlie?" I asked tentatively. I hoped I wasn't overstepping my boundaries.

His face crumpled and my heart broke.

"Um," he started, "that night I went over to my friend's house and basically stayed there until I graduated. Peter's parents were cool and pretty much left me to myself. As soon as the graduation ceremony ended, I packed up my shit and caught the first bus out of that rinky-dink town, never looking back. Peter was the only person I actually said goodbye to."

His voice shook and he cleared his throat to cover it.

"Have you spoken to him since?"

"No. I don't even know if he's still alive. How fucked up is that? The only real father I've ever known and I don't know if he's alive or dead."

I squeezed his hand in an effort to provide some sort of comfort to this poor, broken man sitting in front of me.

"Have you ever thought of contacting him now?"

He blinked his eyes rapidly in an effort to diffuse the tears that were threatening to fall.

"No. I don't know what I'd say to him. 'Hey Charlie! How ya doin'?' I wouldn't be surprised if he refused to talk to me. I deserve it."

"That's not true, Jasper. I'm sure you're both sorry about what happened that night, but you can't let that stop you from moving forward and salvaging the relationship."

He laughed sarcastically to himself.

"Salvage our relationship? I think that's long dead, Alice. He told me to my face I'm better off without him."

"I doubt he meant it."

"Then he shouldn't have said it."

"Did you mean it when you said it to Edward?"

His head whipped towards me so fast I was sure he'd hurt himself.

"What? He told you that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Did you mean it?"

"Well….no. I said it out of anger."

"Just as I'm sure Charlie said what he said because of the sadness he felt after losing his wife. Unfortunately we all say things we shouldn't out of anger, but that's no reason to give up on someone."

"Alice it's been too long. I can't go back there again. It brings up too many memories."

He closed his eyes and looked to be in physical pain. My heart went out to him and I wished I could have done something to take that pain away. I knew Jasper wasn't really an asshole, like he wanted everyone to believe. He'd been through so much shit in his relatively short life that his experiences made him push people away. I watched him for a few moments, hoping he'd continue. When he didn't, I asked a question that was in the back of mind.

"Jasper, you said you stayed with your friend Peter after your argument with Charlie. How did Charlie feel about that?"

Keeping his eyes closed he spoke in almost a whisper.

"At first he constantly tried to get me to come back. He was always calling or just showing up at school or at Peter's house. Being the stubborn fucker I am, I refused to give in. Shit, he practically begged me to come home, but I didn't want to be bothered. Eventually he just gave up. Fuck, he gave up! I only saw him every once in a while after that, you know, for holidays, birthdays and shit. Peter told me that Charlie would give his parents a check every month for my expenses, child support if you will. He ended up just like everyone else. He didn't want me."

"I refuse to believe that, Jasper," I exclaimed. "It's obvious that he wanted his son back or else he wouldn't have begged you to come home!"

"But he stopped! Good parents don't just abandon their kids like that."

I shook my head. Jasper's view of the situation seemed to be so warped that he couldn't see that he too was part of the problem with Charlie.

"You didn't make it very easy for him though," I said.

He snorted and started to laugh. I wasn't sure if he actually found what I said to be funny or if he was just releasing some of the tension that filled the room.

"No, I guess I didn't," he agreed.

"Then why don't you do something about it?"

"What the hell could I possibly do now?"

"Call him."

Jasper's face blanched at my words and he looked as if he were about to be sick.

"No. I already told you, that's not happening."

"Well, if you ask me, that's pretty messed up."

He turned his head to look at me again.

"Well, I didn't ask you."

I thought for a minute as Jasper and I once again participated in a staring contest. I silently tried to get him to do the right thing and he fought back, staring even harder. I decided I needed to come up with a better strategy because asking politely wasn't cutting it.

"So you're just going to let them win, huh?"

He looked at me like I had sprouted antlers.

"What? Let who win?"

"You're just going to let all those sick fucks who hurt you win because you're too scared to talk to Charlie?"

He scrunched up his face and narrowed his eyes.

"Fuck no!"

"You're just proving them right. If you can't man up and speak to Charlie, who seems to have been nothing but a stand up guy except for his period of mourning, then maybe you aren't as strong as you think you are," I said while shrugging my shoulders.

I could see the wheels turning in his head. Something was starting to click and I held my breath in anticipation. He sat up suddenly looking alert, charged and incredibly sexy.

"Fuck them! I can do this. My step father always thought I was weak and a pussy, well, I'll prove his sorry ass wrong. No pussy ever backs down from a challenge!"

"Good! So are you going to call Charlie?"

Suddenly all of Jasper's bravery disappeared right before my eyes.

"Um…I…uh…I don't have his number."

"Do you remember the phone number to his house?"

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't live there anymore?"

"Then you'll have to figure out a different way. It can't hurt to try."

Jasper nodded his head slowly and reached for his cell phone. After holding it for a moment, he punched in the phone number he hadn't used in years. His finger hovered over the call button for awhile as he took deep breaths. I moved even closer so I could put my arm around his waist as a show of support.

"You can do this, Jasper. I have faith in you," I whispered.

He nodded his head again and pushed the call button. Lifting the phone to his ear, he waited as the phone rang. I prayed that the phone number still worked and that Charlie was home. Just then I saw Jasper's eyes flicker as he gasped sharply. He seemed frozen, so I lightly squeezed my arm tighter around his waist in an effort to get him to speak.

"Um, Charlie? It's Jasper…"

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Looks like Alice is ever so slowly chipping away at Jasper's tough exterior! AND she convinced him to call Charlie? I think she deserves a gold medal! LOL!

I wanted to do this chapter from Alice's point of view so we could get a more objective view of Jasper and his emotions. If he gave us his take on this conversation, we would have never gotten the true story. He wouldn't have mentioned the tears or described the way he felt (except maybe anger or apathy). Jasper's a hardass, remember…or that's what he wants us to believe!

The next chapter will pick up again with Jasper's POV.

As always, a BIG thank you to my beta, Savannah-Vee! :)