Hello, there! this is part 2. detailing backstory, its supposed to sound like a memory and not day to day life. As per, ff standard. I do not own "Switched at Birth"

I'm merely entertaining myself, and others in the process.

Bay and I had dated for years, all seemed well at the time, but looking back to the time when we broke up, we were falling apart and in such denial.

But things between us broke for good, when Bay got pregnant.

At first, she was ambivalent about you know, keeping it. And then once she'd decided to keep it. I had been pleased - although I had tried my best to support her to with whatever she chose. Because ultimately, it was her choice and not mine, since we didn't plan on getting pregnant. I was a bit discontent that she would even entertain the thought of an abortion. For our baby, which in my eyes only stood for how much two people had loved each other, (or as Bay liked to joke 'how much wine they had' and she would flash a big grin and a thumbs up, because as clichéd as it was. that's how we had gotten there in the first place.)

But once, we were officially going to be 3. We had told everybody, who were all pleased (except for obviously my mother), and John who was mostly annoyed at the fact that his baby girl had grown up.

I had gone to a jewelry store and I was starting to look at rings. I had entertained thoughts of getting a birthstone, or something. Something other than a diamond, well there would be diamonds. Anyway, I had been looking at unique rings and I was sort of talking with the woman who worked there. That was when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out and opened up a text message without reading who the sender was, expecting it to be from Bay. But instead, I got Toby: 'something wrong with bay & baby St. Joseph's'

I remember in that instant, leaving the jewelry store and barely remember the drive to the hospital I was in such a daze.

Toby was waiting in the lobby for me, I assume to save me time, which at any other time I might have found irritating, but today I was fine with it. As we hurried off to a big waiting room. Which was packed with the most random assortment of people. Also known as the Vasquez' and Kennish clans. Regina and Adriana were pacing. John and Toby were exchanging tense words, Wilke was sitting on a chair next to Kathryn, who leapt up the moment she saw me enter the room.

"Emmett!" her lips formed the words, and then she continued to sign the words that she knew. "Bay is in surgery, there was a complication with the baby. The doctor hasn't come out yet to tell us exactly what happened."

She continued to tell me that Bay had come to visit, and they had been sitting on a couch in their living room, discussing and comparing pregnancy stories when Bay had gotten up to use the bathroom. Everything had seemed ok, but Bay had come back, talking about blood, and how she'd been continually spotting for the past week or so, and today there was a lot of blood. And the two of them had rushed to the ER right away. Where they immediately took Bay into an examining room. Her doctor invited Kathryn into the room and explained that based on a couple of preliminary tests, Bay was having an ectopic pregnancy and needed to get surgery right away. Kathryn had called everyone else from there. It had been about an hour since she'd gone into surgery.

An agonizing three and a half hours later, in which my mother showed up which I was surprised about, knowing with her disapproval of Bay and me, and Angelo called Regina and they had a long discussion, (he was away on business at the moment). Curiously absent was Daphne, I remember getting angry and wondering why she wasn't here.

Kathryn was spending most of her time, vacillating between worrying and trying to help everyone else, she went to get coffee multiple times, and at some point came back with a bag of muffins. At one point, she sat down across from me and was trying to comfort me, which I admit wasn't very helpful, because if someone tells you not to worry, you still do. Anyway, I knew that it was helping Kathryn deal with her own anxiety, so I let her continue.

A doctor arrived in the room, and looked at the crazy assortment of people, Regina was standing next to him and looking at me, and interpreting.

"Family of Bay Kennish?" he asks. Everybody has closely gathered to the doctor, and says something to the degree of yes. I nod.

"It's complicated" Regina says, with a weak smile.

"Ok, then." he says looking surprised but he continues on "Ms. Kennish is good, she made it through the surgery, but because of the ectopic pregnancy, we needed to terminate the pregnancy." he paused, as somebody asked what an ectopic pregnancy was. I looked at Regina, she did the agreed upon name sign for Kathryn.

"An ectopic pregnancy is when the sperm has fertilized the egg outside of the uterus. Bay's was growing in the left fallopian tube, which had swelled to about four times its normal size and was close to rupturing, Bay is very lucky today, because if an ectopic pregnancy is ignored, the mother and fetus can both die. Bay has woken up from the anesthesia, she isn't lucid yet, but she would most likely appreciate some company. But I can only allow one person in at a time." He says.

I'm not aware of any vote, but apparently the crowd of Bay's family decided I should be first to see her. I'm surprised but also very grateful. This has been the most terrifying four hours of my life.

He tries to speak to me while we're on the brief walk to Bay's room. I tap my ear, and then my chin, to indicate that I can't hear him. He looks at me oddly, and he doesn't say anything else. He opens the door to Bay's room and I think he leaves, but I'm not aware of anybody else. All that is important right now is Bay.

Bay was lying in the bed, she was paler than usual, she was hooked up to an IV, and there were several machines blinking away, monitoring her body. She had one of those tubes under her nose.

"Hey, baby, how're you?" I signed to her, I go over and I kiss her on the forehead, leaving my lips there for a moment. When I pull away, she looks at me and says and signs "I've been better." She has tried for some of her regular sarcasm. I pull a face.

"I was worried about you, I'm glad you're ok." I tell her. Immediately tears well up in her eyes.

"Emmett, I lost the baby, I'm so sorry" she winces as she signs.

"It's ok. In terms of losses, I'm glad it wasn't you. We can always have another baby. But there is no replacement for you." I take her hand and look at her. Her lips are pursed together and she's holding back sobs. I can live with it, if I don't think about it any other way.

"I mean, now that we were going to have it, I was really excited and now he's just gone." There are sobs now.

"It was a boy?" I ask, I didn't think I could be anymore heartbroken, than at this moment.

"I don't know, I wasn't far enough along to tell, but I could tell that I had a little boy growing inside me, that he would grow up to be as funny and handsome as his daddy." She looks at me with glassy eyes. And she could not look more miserable. I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say, or what could make her feel better or worse. I ask her to move over, and in what would surely put me in bad favor with her nurses, climb into the hospital bed with her I'm being careful not to disrupt any tubing, we figure out a good arrangement (at this point, I'm thankful that I'm a wiry guy). With her head on my chest, I can feel her relax against me. I can feel the tears and the steady dripping onto my shirt and the vibrations of her body as she sobs. I rub her back slowly. And eventually she stops and I realize she's asleep.

When Emmett and I broke up, it wasn't because I didn't love him anymore, it was just that I was getting over the grief of miscarrying, and once the numbing grief subsided and it became more of a dull ache, and I felt like I was on the verge of tears, all the time. I think about that day in the hospital all the time, when the doctor told me I was an ectopic pregnancy, and that it was just as deadly to the mother as the fetus, if something happened. If my fallopian tubes ruptured, I would have died. It was odd, to think that in order for me to live, my baby would have to die. It wasn't a trade I would have made ordinarily, but circumstances called for the decision, and wasn't helpful to philosophize now.

Once I became a functioning member of society once again (eating, a normal sleep cycle, working, spending money.) And the always helpful, showering and leaving Emmett's and mine apartment.

I began to walk around the neighborhood and spend hours thinking about everything in my life, the switch, Daphne (who wasn't even at the hospital) but Wilke was, which I was surprised about, I hadn't ever considered Wilke to be a great friend. Or that he would be that concerned about me, it was nice. Emmett, of course, and the pregnancy that wasn't. For the few short weeks I had planned on motherhood, (at nineteen, almost twenty). I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. For most of my life, I was sure I didn't want to have kids, they were messy, sticky and loud and finding out about the 'switched at birth' thing was extremely disconcerting. I had been attending a community college, but I had taken a leave of absence after my surgery. I spent a lot of time thinking and I left that school. So I was now thinking about what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to an art school. I wanted to travel, hitchhike around Europe. And during this process, I did close myself off to Emmett. He tried, to reach across the gap, but I guess I didn't want anything of the sort. I felt like a part of me had been chopped off, and I wouldn't get it back. I wasn't sure what I needed to do, to feel better, to fix myself. But at the time, I was sure it didn't involve Emmett. Which broke my heart even more. (of course in hindsight, I think I needed him even more than I thought. I knew I had made the wrong choice as soon as I had done it, but I knew I had to go through with my intentions.)

I had a conversation with Angelo, we talked every other day. We had a whole lot to catch up on, and talking with him always cheered me up considerably. One day, we were discussing possible schools (he had googled) and I said that I wanted to travel before I went back to school. See Europe and all that. He got very excited and proceeded to tell me that I could meet my family. He said that he would get in contact with everybody and let me know what was going on.

I was always astounded at the depth of his enthusiasm where I was concerned. Except for Emmett, everybody in my life had been fawning over Daphne. They had chosen her over me. John and Kathryn (mom and dad -when I was speaking to them) doted on her, and I had always felt like a 2nd choice in comparison, Regina had made the choice to keep Daphne, rather than come find me. Which hurt, more than anything, in spite of her always telling me "she wanted me, but you weren't mine anymore, you were a Kennish by then." Toby was generally in the middle, but once Guitar Face picked up and he went to college, he was busy, we exchanged emails and had skype calls.

Angelo had asked me a date I would like to leave. I said as soon as possible. He said that he had some vacation days in two weeks, he would fly out with me, get me accommodated with his sister (Maria) and spend a few days there, and then he would leave, back to work. I was so excited.

After we had hung up, I drove to my job, I worked in a chain bookstore. And gave my manager my notice.

And then, I had to tell Emmett, and my family about my plans. Let's just say that telling my (non-biological, but still very loving and protective) parents that I was leaving for Europe, on a moment's notice with a man they were trying very hard not to despise for my sake (and John was failing terribly, I might add) was a picnic, compared to telling Emmett.

He was angry. Mostly that I had made the plans without him. Or that I'd been so secretive and lying about it. He tried to insist on coming with me. The quote that was stuck in my memory was of me yelling and signing angrily, "No, I don't want you to come with me!" and then explaining "we've been together for so long and this whole pregnancy thing made me think about what I want. And honestly, this isn't it. I never really knew myself, first I didn't fit in with my own family, and then I find out that they weren't even my real family, and then you. I don't know who I am when I'm by myself. I lost Bay Kennish a long time ago, and I think this will help me get her back."

He told me, that if I did this, I shouldn't come back.

So I did.

In the two weeks before I left, I spent a lot of time packing up my stuff from the apartment, I had made Toby and Wilke help me. I had bought a new camera. Some other traveling essentials and one of those plug converters for those funny French outlets. I packed a lot.

In Europe, I met all of Angelo's family. I became close to my cousins Leanne and Marco. I traveled a lot. I saw England, Ireland, Scotland, Spain, Portugal, Italy, and a million other places. It was awesome.

Notable places included Rome, and the Vatican (which Aunt Maria dragged me to) I was leery of it (being an atheist), but it is a gorgeous place and worth seeing if your in Italy. I took a lot of photos, stayed in hostels in places where I didn't have connections to Angelo, but mostly there were aunts, uncles and cousins, that were all willing to meet me, and put me up for at least a few days. I painted a lot of scenery, monuments, I drew a lot of pictures of my family.

I think it would be dishonest to not mention the amount of men I slept with while in Europe. Sexy, accented, European men. Jacques and Dmitri (from Moscow!), Richard and Erik to name a few.

It was wonderful, but the sex lacked something after a while. It got to be emotionally painful after a bit. I mean, it was fun and wonderful during, but after just left me a little raw. After experiencing the love that I'd had with Emmett, it was difficult. But I moved along,

I got a job in Paris, in a funky little art supplies shop, that also processed photos in the back of the store. I improved my French, exponentially. I did learn that I am pretty good at learning new languages, while being far from fluent in any, I learned how to have conversations in Spanish, Italian and I learned how to curse and say some phrases in German. Much to the delight of the occasional German tourist. Oddly, right in the middle of France, in Paris no less, I got to show off my ASL skills (bad-ass!)

After about a year of drifting, and coming and going to my aunt Maria's, I heard her and Angelo's mother talking about me. Wondering how much longer I would stay. Not that they ever said anything of the sort to me, after that I knew I needed to split. I moved into an apartment where Leanne and her boyfriend were living. I had three things I had to follow to the letter, 1) my (deeply religious) aunt Maria didn't know Leanne and her boyfriend were living together, and I was in no uncertain terms to reveal this information, 2) to make coffee if I finished a pot, and 3) if I finished the milk, I would need to go out and get some more, immediately. These were terms I could live with, especially since I wasn't paying rent. Although I did slip them some money secretly a couple times. Mostly, I wasn't there. I traveled more. I went back to Ireland, where I met Jamie. Scotland, back to Rome then to Venice and then Florence. Out of academic curiosity I toured Pompeii. I ventured my way to Greece and spent a glorious month eating amazing food, sitting in the sun (by now, I was very tan, almost unrecognizable to myself), and Kostos. His eyes were green and all knowing, quite like a pair of blue eyes that I put a lot of effort into not thinking about.

Eventually, a wake-up call came in the form of a phone call from Regina and Kathryn, (they had teamed up, I was annoyed). They told me, that I'd run away for long enough and that it was time to come home. I said 'ok' but then I defied them and went to spend three weeks in Madrid with Javier.

Finally, I knew it was time to go home. It had been two years, and I knew I'd been running and I was tired, of running from my family, but from myself, most of all.

When it was time for Wilke's party, I had been home for about a week, well about four days (sleeping off jet lag- no small task).

I'd gotten a job, and an apartment in the center of town. I worked in an art supply store, where I had known the manager from years of shopping there and got a killer discount.

On the day of the party, Toby appeared in the store, about a couple hours before closing, and persuaded me to go to the party. Once I had gotten out of work, I balked, I debated blowing it off. But I knew that wasn't a good idea. So once I'd gotten it together. I got into the shower and got ready for the party. Putting on a white sundress, and accessorizing with a fat red belt, Regina had given me, but that I hadn't ever thought about wearing until this moment. And I wasn't in any mood to wear heels, so I put on my combat boots.

The party, in hindsight was a life changing event. It had altered the course I was going on, it spun me onto a new, but not entirely unfamiliar destination.

Ta-da! hope you liked it!

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