Currently, I'm just standing here in the corridor. Lost. Again. See, you can't be too harsh, I have no sweet Angela, or Mike, or Ben to guide me. I'm most likely to be late. I didn't even bother with the map today. What was the point? Groan. Damn me! Okay, now I was getting desperate. The corridors where almost deserted. Umm..wait. Yep, fully deserted, just me and my useless papers.
That's when I heard the footsteps behind me, I sighed in relief and turned around. There they were, the stunning green eyes that captivated me the moment I saw them. But they weren't looking at me, it seemed they didn't even notice my pretense. He just walked past me. I had no other choice.
"Please!" I called behind him, I could hear the desperation in my voice myself. And, boy, did I sound needy. "Excuse me? Please! Could you help me? Please! I'm lost!" He kept on walking like he never heard me. I turned around, tears stinging in my eyes. Why would anyone help me? I sniffed as I took a look at the map again. Okay let's look at the logic and do this methodically. I checked my clock. 1 minute left. Okay. Where was I now? My eyes searched the room. I sighed, there was no sign. A few tears escaped the brim of my eyes. I'm so pathetic.
Suddenly, I felt cool fingers brushing the tears of my cheek. I flushed at the movement. I looked up to see the startling eyes I could never forget. I smiled weakly.
"It's okay," I whispered, "I'm just pathetic." I told him, a quiet laugh escaping my lips. I told you I was a doofus. He chuckled too. It took me a second to remember my original problem. "Um...sorry if I'm asking too much. But could you help me find my way to my class?" I asked nervously. He stared at me for a second. I was fighting, anxious under his gaze.
"Okay," He agreed easily, he had one very charming voice I must admit. "What's your next class?" He asked. I glanced at my schedule.
"Um...I think it's Biology..." He nodded and told me. "I'm going there too." I smiled. What a coincidence. Then he held out his hand.
"Cullen, Edward Cullen." He introduced himself, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. My eyes widened just a fraction more but apart from that. I placed my hand in his firmly, giving it a tiny squeeze.
"I'm Bella Swan, it's very nice to meet you." I told him sincerely. Then his eyes widened a fraction. I let go of his hand and smiled widely at him. "Come on! Where going to be late." I whined like a child, trying the lighten the mood. He chuckled and led the way. I followed behind him.
So this was the famous Edward. He was very good looking, and very gentleman-ly. I didn't expect that. Still, I'd only known him for a few minutes. I caught up with him and was now walking beside him. He glanced at me and I gave him a small smile. Yeah, I know. I smile a lot. He returned the smile and then stopped and gestured toward the door. I glanced at him for reassurance and knocked.
"Yes?" An unfamiliar voice asked. I peeked through the door and then opened it fully. All eyes were staring. I blushed and stared directly at the teacher, trying the ignore the other people.
"Umm...Sorry I'm late Sir. I got lost." I apologized. He waved it off and told me to sit down. So I took the seat I had yesterday.
"Edward? Finally cared to join us?" He asked, surprised. Edward sighed and nodded tragically. A few giggles erupted. Ah, now I see. Edward walked to the seat next to me and sat.
"That's my seat you know." He whispered to me as the teacher started the lesson.
"Is it?" I asked, looking into his eyes directly.
"Uh-huh." He told me, staring back at me. I smiled.
"Are you saying that I'm going to stink up your chair? Are you accusing me of smelling like your armpits?" I questions, totally serious now. He grinned at me and nodded. I did my pout and the grin slipped off his face. Oops! I stopped pouting in an instant. I guess we can be partners in crime, huh? I turned to the front.
"Pay attention now, sweetheart." I murmured to Edward.
The lesson felt longer than it actually was. Mr Molina was surprised by my knowledge and kept on picking me for answers. More attention. Exactly what I need. Heavy sigh.
I was now extremely bored, so bored in fact that during the lesson, I subconsciously drew 'Kiss Me' in bold, beautiful letters. Sprinkled in color of course. And now I had the tingling, mischievousness feeling in my skin. And if there are two things that don't mix, they are a 'Kiss Me' letter and a mischievous feeling. So when the lesson ended, I turned to Edward with a sweet smile.
"I think you deserve a hug for being able to stand my smelliness, don't you think?" I asked shyly before wrapping my arms around his neck and sticking the letter on. I squeezed him for a second and then gave him a kiss on the cheek because of the letter. I smiles sweetly again, my cheeks a little flushed this time, and left.
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Just before I got into Jazz's car, I scanned the parking lot for a bronze head. Finally, I found him surrounded by a group of girls, lip-glossed kiss marks on his cheeks and...smiling. Uh-huh, you heard me, he was smiling. How unfair. He spotted me and smirked. I pouted (I was a safe distance away) and stomped my foot like a child. He laughed and the pout was replaced by a smile. I waved goodbye to him and got in.
When Jasper finally cared to join me he still had that ridiculously happy face on. I was becoming a little worried now. Me and Jasper were literally inseparable and we never had any secrets. If I had a secret, he would be the first know. If he had a secret, I would be the first know. But now... he just wouldn't tell me, no matter how many times I asked.
"Hey Jazz, sweetheart." I greeted him softly, a slightly dejected undertone to my voice. He didn't reply. He just started the car with a massive smile plastered on his face.
...What if it was me? I had been too much trouble, a heavy weight on his shoulders. What if he was tired of me?
I always knew Jasper had made a huge sacrifice to be with me. He left the family that didn't approve of me, he left a girlfriend that thought he spent more time with me then him. All those times. Everything he did. No matter how many words I said could tell him how sorry I was. But he always waved it off as if it didn't matter. It killed me to know that he would do those things for someone so worthless, so pointless, as me. It hurt me to see that he was speaking the truth about wanting to be with me. Because he shouldn't want to waste his future on me. I knew that he could potentially be risking a whole, beautiful family because of me.
So I tried to prison my agony. I tried not to show him my pain. I really did try to cover up my inner demon with smiles. But the layer of happiness is not always thick enough. It's easily cracked.
So while I looked normal on the outside. From inside I was dying.
My stomach twisted uncomfortable with all the negative feelings. My blood was becoming sour; poisoned. The air was gone too, strangling my lungs, I couldn't breath. My body felt hollow. And my eyes were suddenly dry, despite all the moisture in them. Like they were on fire, burning. I couldn't even feel my body anymore, it was like I was numbed with ice. This time fire and ice were not colliding in harmony. They were scraping, grinding, ripping, even tearing each other. Peace and love left the world. Everything became dark and cold, the color and the glowing sun gone. Warmth was now a distant memory. So was happiness. Everything I loved was gone. I was parted from my heart...
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All throughout making dinner, my mind was stuck in one place. That one thought. My eyes were glazed over with the image of the last petal on a rose. Delicate and old. Worn out, ready to sleep. I wanted to go home, I wanted to sleep with the angels tonight.
So that night, after Jasper was in bed...
I did it.