The atmosphere around Jewel Lily Paintings was very tense now a days. In the week that Drew had been working, we sold more and more paintings than ever. My mom was over the moon about her new employee, but I didn't exactly feel the same. After the night I closed with him, avoiding him at all costs was just easier. Sure, I had to help with a customer every now and then. Our conversation, however, never went beyond work. I made sure of that.

I knew that he was still an arrogant jerk, just like he was in high school. I wanted nothing to do with him. There were times that we were alone together, but I would just put in my headphones and tune the rest of the world out. It was hard enough that I was dealing with so much grief, so having someone like him around made things more difficult. When I was frustrated or scared, I always found myself listening to music. There was always solace to be found in a great melody.

The best days were when I was alone.

I didn't have judging eyes always upon me, and it was like I could let loose and be the real me. I was keeping myself hidden behind a veil, no one was able to see who I had become. It was so easy to pretend. Sometimes, I found myself forgetting which act I was playing. There were too many characters in my fantasy. I didn't want to forget who I really was, but it seemed like that was inevitable.

Today was an easy day. We always closed early on Saturdays and it was my job to take care of everything before the next work day. I was just finishing off the stock list and getting ready to cover everything up when I decided that I needed something to help this process along. I came from the back room and grabbed my purple ipod off of the shelf below the cash register and flipped through the music looking for the perfect song. I smiled slightly when I came upon a certain song title and listened as the opening piano started off slowly and gently.

He voice came in and I sang along softly, relishing every word.

Like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be,
What you were, what you were to me in memory.
But if I listen to the dark,
You'll embrace me like a star,
Envelope me, envelope me...
If things get real for me down here,
Promise to take me to before you went away -
If only for a day.
If things get real for me down here,
Promise to take me back to the tune
We played before you went away.

I found myself singing along as I identified with the heartbreak and pain that this song spoke of.

And if I listen to, the sound of white,
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ..
You're my mystery. One mystery. My mystery. One mystery.

Every second I was with Ryan was like this song and I couldn't help but picture the two of us together. He was always the one I was trying to figure out, and now he is gone and the pain seems to always cut through me.

My silence solidifies,
Until that hollow void erases you,
Erases you so I can't feel at all.
But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness
Will end the painful dream, of you and me...
If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to
Before you went away, if only for a day.
If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to
The tune we played before you went away.

I wanted so badly to go back to the way things were before, but our song was now over. Every second with him was like a lifetime. There was no way that I would every be stronger without him because I was so alive when I was with him and just in his presence.

And if I listen to, the sound of white
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
And if I listen to, the sound of white.

I knelt before some strangers face,
I'd never have the courage or belief to trust this place,
But I dropped my head, 'cause it felt like lead,
And I'm sure I felt your fingers through my hair...

Sometimes, I felt like maybe he was listening to what I had to say. Maybe if I sang just for him again he would come back to me. Maybe if I tried hard enough I would be able to see him once more.

And if I listen to, the sound of white sometimes
I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white.
The sound of white,
The sound of white,
The sound of white.

The song ended and I knew that I was singing along the whole time. It felt like anytime I needed music he was the reason behind it. Maybe he was my voice? Without him, though, the song never seemed the same. I sighed to myself and tried to fight back all the emotions that were flooding through me. I hated that I had to always think of him. The pain was just to great sometimes. I took out my headphones and finished my work silently.

The rest of the world fell away into the background and I knew that the here and now was going to have to take center stage if I wanted to get through the rest of the day. I locked the door behind me and took a deep breath as I walked out into the warm night. Summer was always so beautiful in Michigan, but I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy it as much as I used to.

It was just twilight and the warmth was still abundant. I looked over to the beach as I made my way up my front stairs. It was almost as though the waves were beckoning me to come and play. Maybe tonight I would go for a swim? I put on my usual running clothes, with my bathing suit underneath, and headed out to find peace in the dark blue waters.

~*********~

I did usual two miles up and down the boardwalk and was about to call it quits for the night when I spotted the tell-tale signs of a bonfire. Maybe it's my curious nature, or me subconsciously calling out for someone to talk to, but I walked over to the rowdy area. There was some generic pop music being sputtered out of a boom box and a few beer cans lying around. I rolled my eyes and yelled at myself internally.

What the hell am I doing?

There was no reason for me to be here. I turned around to walk away when I heard someone call out my name.

"Lauren!"

I whipped around quickly and was surprised to find none other than Drew Hart walking toward me with a small smile plastered on his face.

"I'm glad to see you came," He said once he reached me.

I cocked my head to the side slightly and gave him a questioning look.

"You did get the invite right? From your mom?" He said catching on.

"Umm, no."

"Oh," He replied slightly crestfallen. "Well, I guess this is just one big coincidence then?"
He seemed overly happy about the whole thing and that scared me slightly. "I guess…"

"Well come join us!" He extended his arm to the group of curious onlookers behind him.

I put up my hands. "I don't know. I just got done with my run."

"Your point is?" He said snapping open another beer.

"That I should go home and shower," I replied feeling out of my element. "And ya know, sleep."

"Since when do you sleep?" He asked laughing. "Just a little while, come on, you know it will make your mom happy."

I sighed. He played the mom card, damn him. Of course this would get back to her and she would beam with joy. He whole mission for the past week has been for me to have some kind of human reaction.

"Fine," I said defeated.

"Excellent."

He led the way to the rest of the group and proceeded to give small introductions. I didn't really pay attention to most of the names, but I did recognize many of the faces- albeit older- from high school. I couldn't believe that most of them still lived here. He was always the ring leader of the popular people, and now here they were like nothing had changed at all. I smiled and nodded as he introduced me, and most of them remembered who I was as well.

"What did I miss?" A beautiful blonde woman asked as she skipped happily toward the fire. She wore a brilliant smile on her face that I was instantly jealous of. It had been so long since I actually smiled.

Drew looked up at the sound of her voice. "Not much," He put his arm around her shoulders. "I was just introducing everyone to Lauren."

"The girl you work with right?" She said glancing up at him.

"The one and only," He smirked.

She smacked his arm playfully and made her way over to me. "Just ignore him, that's what I do."

"Thanks for the advice," I said as I shifted my weight uncomfortably.

"I'm Meggie by the way," She shook my hand and I noticed the engagement ring on her finger. I quickly put two and two together, no wonder she was so happy. Now I was now jealous of her in a different way. She was able to be with the man she loved, unlike me.

"When's the big day?" I asked gesturing to her ring, trying to change the subject.

"Oh," She instantly flushed red and I remembered that feeling all to well. "Well Drew and I have two different dates. It all just depends on when my family can get here."

"You and Drew huh?" I glanced in his direction and he quickly avoided my eyes. It seemed odd that he never mentioned it.

She smiled widely. "Yeah, it was a pretty big surprise too."

"Isn't that the whole idea?" I said bluntly.

"Of course," She laughed and it was like the sound of wind chimes. "But we have only been together for about six months."

I nodded. It did seem like a pretty fast engagement, but I didn't really know them as a couple. "Sometimes when you know," The sadness crept into my voice. "You know."

"Here here!" Drew butted in. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was growing increasingly uncomfortable with this conversation. He was a tough nut to crack. Meggie brought me over to sit with her by the bonfire and I sat listening to their conversations about summer and how nice it was to be outside. I knew that they were the same people from so long ago, but it was hard to see them in the same light. Everyone had grown up so much, which was to be expected. It was kind of crazy that they were all still here hanging out on a Saturday night just like old times though.

For the most part, everyone kind of forgot that I was there. I would contribute to the conversation every now and then, but other than that I was pretty silent. The tan girl across the fire was yapping on about her newest "novel" when I leaned over to talk with Meggie. She did intrigue me very much after all.

"So did you recently move here?" I asked while burying my shoes in the sand.

"Yeah, around a year ago," She replied brushing a hair out of her face. "I needed somewhere to actually work productively."

I furrowed my brow, confused by her answer.

"Oh," She giggled and I realized that it was something she did often. "I'm a nurse."

"And the big city life wasn't doing it for you?"

"It really wasn't," She said honestly. "I love being able to know all of the people I treat. It's like one big family. My grandmother used to live here, so I just moved into her old house. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made."

It was like she was the opposite of me. I was always looking for the bright lights, and all she wanted was peace and quiet. She found everything she wanted too it seemed. Maybe I should take a page from her book?

I watched the flames glow from blue to red. "How did you meet Drew?"

She looked over at him quickly and I saw the same look of admiration that she had earlier. "He burned himself at the restaurant and I was the one who treated him." As she smiled, I could see her green eyes sparkle. "He was a handful, but shortly there after, he came to visit me again to apologize for his well--profanity. He brought flowers and everything. He asked me out a week later and we have been going strong since then."

I smiled weakly. "That's great. Good for you two."

"When he proposed," She continued on lost in her memory. "It was one of those moments when you realize that you have everything you could ever ask for and more. Ya know?"

I cleared my throat. "Kind of."

She touched her ring absentmindedly. "I'm sorry, sometimes I just can't believe that it all happened. I still have so much to do as far as the wedding goes. It's very overwhelming. I have no idea how to go about this kind of thing. We're hoping to do it by the end of this summer, and if we do I am still so unprepared. I don't even have a dress."

"I'm sure it will all work out," I say trying to reassure her. I guess this is why brides always freak out. "I guess if you need help you know where I am."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wondered why on Earth I would ever say that. This whole getting out thing must have my brain all messed up.

"Oh thank you so much," She said as she threw herself on to me for a hug. I almost recoiled, not used to human reaction.

"Ok Meggie," Drew said grabbing her shoulders and seeing the look of fright in my eyes. "I actually think that Lauren has to go now."

She laughed and let go of me. "Of course, I'll see you soon I'm sure."

I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips together.

Great….

"It was nice to see you all," I said acknowledging the whole group. They all waved and grunted at me, and I took that as a goodbye.

"Wait up," I heard Drew call after me.

I slowed to let him join me. "Well, that was something."

He caught on to my sarcasm. "Yeah, sometimes they are not the most friendly people."

"Obviously."

"I'm sorry about Meggie too," He sighed. "Sometimes she gets a little more friendly with people than she needs to."

I shrugged.

"That was nice of you to offer to help her with the wedding stuff," He said trying to keep conversation. "I have no clue what to do about that, and she hasn't really made a ton of friends here…"

He kept rattling on and I stopped walking. "Why didn't you tell me about her?"

He looked slightly bewildered. "Oh, because you are so friendly to talk to in the first place?"

I scoffed at him.

"It's not like the first thing that was going to come out of my mouth was, by the way, I'm engaged."

"Ok," I said rolling my eyes. "I get it."

"Why do you care anyway?" He was curious. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me?"

"I don't."

"Really," He crossed his arms. "Then why are you so defensive?"

"Because you are annoying me," I turned around and began to walk again.

"Or," He said following me. "Could it be the fact that you actually give a damn about me?"

I halted and put my finger to my lips in contemplation. "Nope, that's not it."

He laughed loudly. "Do you always try to cover your feelings with sarcasm?"

"What feelings?" I asked not bothering to look back at him.

He grabbed my arm and flung me around so I was staring right at him. "Look in my eyes and tell me that you could care less about me. Go ahead. Do it."

I yanked my arm out of his hand. "I have nothing to prove to you."

"What are you afraid of Lauren?"

I was silent for a moment and then met his eyes. "I could care less about you."

He took a step back, pierced by my cold-heartedness. "Ok then."

I was almost to my steps when I turned back to him. "I do have one question for you to ponder though."

He didn't say anything, so I continued.

"Why do you care how I feel? You are the one getting married."

I didn't stick around to hear his answer. I ran up the stairs quickly and made my way into the light that shone from the house. When I looked out the slider one last time, I saw that he was still standing their searching for an answer.

~*********~

Hello lovely readers!

I hope that you enjoyed chapter 3. It would be so very nice to get some feedback from you all!! I would like to know how you feel about the new characters and where the story is going. Thank you to my two reviewers 26hannah26 and kbCSINYgirl! I urge you all to read my homepage too, I update it every time I put up a new chapter!

Lulu