Hello! I was gonna post this chapter yesterday, but I kind of had to write it…

Sorry about the lack of an author note last chapter. I was kinda being yelled at to get off the computer and whatnot. I'm sorry the last two chapters were so short, too.

Here's the fun fact I was going to put last chapter:

Fun Fact: Phoebe means bright or pure, and she was also the Titan associated with the moon. Italy is the name of a country in Europe. Colette is the short form of Nicolette which is a diminutive of Nicole which is the feminine form of Nicholas… Fun stuff, fun stuff.

Thank you to YukoxxxIchikawa, Avasaya, and glustora for the magically fantabulous reviews! They make me feel like I'm on a sugar high from Lucky Charms!

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So, yeah, I wrote another story. I'd love for you to read it. It's another Akatsuki story, and I'd really like feedback. So if you've got some spare time, could you please read it? The beginnings a bit slow, but it gets a bit better towards the end of the chapter. Pwease wead it!

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So the Akatsuki has finally arrived! At the end of the chapter! Yeah… I was gonna write some more, but I feel like I'm about to pass out on my keyboard…

Disclaimer! I own a jar of mayonnaise. I own the OC's. I wish I owned Nancy. I wish I owned Naruto, too. I'd be rich!

Chapter Six! Nancy

xXxPhoebe's POVxXx

"Okay, Italy-chan, what do you want for lunch," I said.

Italy thought for a moment, "PASTA!~"

"Oh, Italy-chan," Colette joined Hidan, Italy, and me in exiting the base. "You know pizza is better!"

"Hmm," Italy thought, "Then let's go to Pizza Hut! I like their pepperoni."

Hidan looked blankly at them, "What the hell is pizza?"

Colette gaped at him, "Only the best food in the world!"

I whispered to Hidan, "It's a meat, cheese, and tomato pie from our land."

"Okay," He whispered back, but I could still tell he didn't quite understand. We continued walking without another word until we left the building. Once the company was out, I let my eyes shine green. I focused on the whole structure, letting my chakra flow into it. Once it gripped the building, I let it tear the structure 'till it was dust.

The whole technique I learned a long time ago during my travels. My chakra is destructive by nature, so all I have to do is let it sit in any object for a while without restraining it. If I just let it sit in an object, it will "pause" it. The glowing eye thing is just how my chakra flows from my body. Don't ask why they turn green. They just do. Anyway, I can confine the area my chakra destroys, be it as small as a flee or as large as a skyscr-

Oh, Jashin-sama, the company is harassing villagers!

As I was describing my ability, the company decided it was time to sacrifice a street vendor because he 'looked at Colette funny.' Colette's not exactly an eyesore, and she keeps her hair in tip-top condition on a regular basis.

The poor street vendor was just trying to enjoy the view, but now he'll never see again. Oh, Jashin-sama, was that his spleen?

"Okay, okay," I rushed to the poor man's rescue. "I think he's learned his lesson!"

Hidan declared, "That's not enough! Jashin-sama doesn't make room for half-sacrifices!"

"Yeah!" my ladies added tactfully. Italy continued dramatically, "Once we're done can we get some Arby's? I'm fucking starving!"

"No," Colette opposed. "Let's go to McDonald's. Their fries are less creepy."

"McDonald's might have straighter fries," Italy retorted. "But at least Arby's fries fucking taste good."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!" my ladies were nose to nose by now.

"Ladies," I sighed. "They don't have fast food restaurants here…"

Metaphorically speaking, I could be arrested for terrorism after that because I just set a bomb off.

"WHAT!" my ladies screeched; they loved their fast food establishments. Oh damn it; some major culture shock was coming!

"Hidan-san," I said slowly, waiting for the boom to come. "Get out of here now, and go find the unhealthiest food you can in mass quantities, and bring it here as fast as possible."

Hidan looked at me funny and opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, "I said now!"

He recoiled at my harshness, but jumped off anyway just in time; Italy blew up, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The people on the street all paused to look for the uproar. Wrong move, I thought with a sadistic grin -well, expression since dogs can't smile…

The nearest person, besides Colette, was sent into the nearest wall with a kick, and that was quite a ways since the nearest wall was about 30 yards away. Yards! I thought in outrage. I've become American during my stay in North Dakota! He went flying 27.432 meters, 2,743.2 centimeters, or .027432 kilometers. I am not American.

Anyway, Italy flew into a cataclysmic, destructive frenzy. She kicked, punched, and tacked random villagers. Colette decided to help out her friend by joining in on the blood-bathed chaos.

The detail here would be gruesome, offensive, and laborious to describe. In short, in looked like someone really did set a bomb off. Hidan stumbled in on the undisturbed attack. He spoke my mind, "How the fuck did no one hear this?"

I smirked lightly, releasing my chakra, "Genjutsu…" Yes, I set a genjutsu to block the street. It wasn't very strong or anything, and I expected that in such an esteemed hidden village, someone could've broken the genjutsu. I have issues with overestimation… I thought as my ladies were fed.

xXxLaterxXx

The company was headed through the woods. You should've seen the look on all the random villagers when I released the genjutsu. It was rich! Oh, I was crying I laughed so hard!

What was even better was when Colette found all the office supplies in her bra…

Okay, okay! Let me get my thoughts straight!

Anyway, Italy had another chat with her rosary. Colette was talking to it, too, which I could understand, but then Hidan did, too. I knew Jashinist were crazy and all, but come on!

Hidan explained to me and the ladies that only Jashinists could hear what was being said over the rosary. That makes sense… He added that it could be used to communicate with the small community the Jashinists left- the Nijihashi was a surprisingly effective group when not drinking coffee- and to be expecting contact from the higher ups of the religion relatively soon.

We jogged in peace for a good three ours more. We were about 5 hours from the Leaf Village.

"Okay," I said, reaching a tea house. "Time for lunch!"

We filed into the quaint restaurant and ordered. The waitress gave me an odd look until I talked. She backed off after that.

The people of my group were sipping tea.

Hidan managed to learn their names. It only took him five hours. He thought they were some "fucked up" names. That got him a punch to the stomach…

Anyway, we were all just sitting around and stuff. Italy asked, surprisingly politely, "Why were you in Konoha, anyway, Hidan?"

Hidan fiddled a bit with his rosary, "I've gotta help you two wipe out the fucking Nijihashi."

Colette joined, "That's cool. What do you know about them?"

Hidan began, "Well, they are a charity organization that was started in my home village, the Hidden Hot Springs, to bring peace to the ninja world or some shit like that. They've got a base in almost every hidden village and then some more in other big villages."

Colette and Italy nodded. "So we have to travel more or less around the world to kill them all?" said Colette.

Hidan shrugged, "Yeah."

I said, "I will be a good way for you to learn ninja skills, ladies."

My ladies agreed. Hidan narrowed his eyes, "Hold on! You mean you two aren't ninja!" My ladies shook their heads no. "Then how the fuck did you beat the Nijihashi back in Konoha? I mean, most of them were fucking ANBU!"

Colette giggle, "Crazy stuff happens when we aren't fed!"

Once we were done with lunch, we left without paying. Yeah, we're badass like that!

Anyway, for the rest of the day we tried to teach the girls how to climb trees without using their hands. Colette did considerably better than Italy, as it only took her five tries to get to the top as opposed to Italy's twenty five tries.

I guess I was proud of my little criminals.

Later that night, I slipped away from the camp to meet a certain someone, trusting for them to protect themselves.

I met the person I was looking for almost instantly, their chakra distinct even after these years.

He looked over at me. I looked up at him with my adorable puppy-dog eyes. "Hello, Madara-san."

"Hello, er, Phoebe is it now?" Madara jumped down from the tree he was in, green scarf billowing behind him. "You really need to stop changing your name every other year."

"Well, it bothers me more than it does you," I sat on a convenient boulder.

"Do you have time to help the Akatsuki? I know you have your subordinates," Madara looked at me. I saw a slight red glint from his eyehole.

I stretched, "Not really. You see now, Madara-san, I've got some ladies with me I've got to watch. They aren't exactly ninja yet, but give me about six months to train them." I thought it would be better to leave out the part about the Nijihashi hunt.

"Why shouldn't I kill them, Phoebe? I don't have forever," Madara said.

I rolled onto my back. I laughed, Many reasons, Madara-san, many reasons. "Well, they have extensive knowledge of this world that I believe would be useful for your organization. You know, preventing members' deaths and all that."

Madara growled, "I'll give you six months. After that, I will track you down and force you to aid the Akatsuki."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah, six months, whatever."

Madara crossed his arms then teleported himself to Jashin-sama knows where to do Jashin-sama knows what. I smiled as much as a dog could, Six months! I've got forever to train my ladies…

xXxTimeskip no JutsuxXx

"Colette, duck!" Italy cried.

Colette ducked a barrage of shuriken thrown by a desperate Nijihashi. He was apparently the last one left of the international charity group. It took us a good week to track him and the remaining members down to a secret base.

In the five or so months since my encounter with Madara, I had trained my ladies as much as I could in ninjutsu and genjutsu while Hidan taught them the specifics of Jashinism.

I learned why the Nijihashi wanted Jashinism dead… What a violent, brutal religion…

My company had also taken up their own weapon: Hidan the scythe, of course, Colette the halberd, and Italy the pike.

Speaking of Italy's pike, she was brandishing it now against the formidable opponent. He was a master swordsman, responsible of the death of a couple of dozen Jashinists.

The man, Sam I think I'll call him, parried the pike with ease. Italy pushed herself away from Sam with her pike and landed a few meters away.

Colette quickly attacked at Sam's back while he was distracted. Sam managed to dodge, but he got away with a cut on his back from Colette's razor sharp halberd.

Hidan launched his scythe at Sam as he was trying to flee. Sam cried as the scythe knocked him to the ground, "Please stop!"

Colette gave him a condescending smile (smiles can portray many things, I guess), "Aw! Does someone want to escape?"

Sam tried to scoot away, but Italy stopped all possibilities of escape by cruelly jumping on top of Sam, effectively flattening him, "Isn't that a shame! Jashin-sama has judged you, bastard, and the results aren't too hot."

Italy dragged Sam up by his hair and motioned for Hidan to come over. Hidan grinned evilly as he approached Sam. "This little fuck put up a good fight, ne, Italy?"

"Yeah," Italy flicked some hair from her face. "It'll make his sacrifice all the better!"

Hidan knocked Sam out then swung Sam over his shoulder. Colette wiped off her halberd off on a random corpse's clothes. "Hurry up! This sacrifice is gonna be good!" I really hadn't noticed in day to day activities, but one day it hit me like an anvil that Colette -sweet, kind Colette- had slowly transformed over these long months into a cold, sadistic person.

Italy was the same mean, impatient girl she had always been but with a new-found bloodlust from Jashin-sama knows where. Actually, I'm pretty sure Jashin-sama is where they pulled their mysterious bloodlust from…

Anyway, the company was chatting with their rosaries again as we were leaving. The first they were talking with was Jashin-sama himself, but the second was apparently a priest or someone to that extent. Well, whoever they had been, the company was discussing immortality now.

Italy said, "I think we should try the whole immortality thing they were talking about."

Hidan agreed, "Yeah, we need to show the fucking world to not mess with Jashinism!"

"Yeah…" Colette said vaguely. There was something on her mind, but what?

xXxColette's POVxXx

Hey! I haven't seen you in a while! What's it been, five months? It's December 8th today, so yeah, five months!

Anyway, it's been a long five months of training and slaying the Nijihashi. I took up the halberd and I've been honing in on my genjutsu and sensor abilities. Yep, sensor! I have good enough chakra control for it and stuff.

I should fill you in on what's been going on for the past months. At first, I was upset by the sacrificing, but I eventually got over it. Jashin-sama's good at supporting and encouraging. Italy said I've become colder, but I don't feel any different.

I'm still my old cheery self I was back in North Dakota. Except for my eyes. Damn I hate my anime eyes…

So, that was pretty much my past five months…

Anyway, we just captured the last Nijihashi, I've decided to call him Earl, and we were talking to Jashin-sama.

I made the appropriate hand seals, and Jashin-sama's mouth appeared. "Ah, my children!" He smiled. "How did it go?"

"Very well!" I chirped.

Hidan added, "We have the last one right here, Jashin-sama!"

"Excellent work, my children!" said Jashin. He licked His lips a bit, something I figured out He did whenever He was about to give a long speech. "Alright, my children, after countless hours of research, I have finally made a jutsu which will bless you with the essence of life. I have devised a method to keep death at bay, even after a puncture wound to the heart. I have made a jutsu that will show the world that Jashinism is alive, well, and will never be destroyed even after the Nijihashi has brought the end to many of the followers. I shall bless all of my children who did not stray from my side during the trials with the Nijihashi. The only problem is that I must test this jutsu on some of my children. Consequently, some of my children may be harmed from these tests. Are any of you willing to be tested on? Colette-chan? Hidan-kun? Italy-chan?"

Hidan said, "I have faith that your jutsu wouldn't harm anyone, Jashin-sama."

"Are you willing to be tested upon, perhaps?" Jashin said.

"Perhaps," Hidan said.

"Alright," said Jashin. "I'll put you on the line to talk with the priest in charge of this."

Jashin's mouth was replaced with another man's, "Hello, fellow Jashinists. My name is Erwin. What are yours?"

I said, "I'm Colette."

Italy said, "I'm Italy."

"I'm Hidan," said Charles. Just kidding! Hidan said that.

"Hello, sisters and brother. Are you willing to help perfect Jashin-sama's essence of life?" asked Erwin. Why was his name all… English?

"Perhaps," said Hidan. Why was he using big words all of a sudden?

"Alrighty then," said Erwin. "Come to the temple in the Land of Noodles."

"Okay," said Hidan.

"They have a Land of Noodles?" Italy said. "Fuck yeah!"

I giggled, "That's a funny name for a country!"

Erwin said, "Then what's a normal name for a country."

Italy said, "Italy, for instance."

Erwin and Hidan both said, "What (the fuck) is an Italy?"

Italy astutely said, "A country!"

Erwin frowned, "It sounds like the name of a fancy boot or something."

I retorted, "It looks like a boot!"

Erwin deadpanned, "Of course it does."

Italy said, "Where's the Land of Noodles? I bet it's on a cloud right below heaven!"

"That's the Land of Sky," said Erwin. "No, you're in the Land of Noodles right now."

Italy visibly drooped, "Oh."

Hidan said, "We'll see you soon, Erwin!"

"Wait-Wha-"we cut the connection to Erwin. He was probably used to rudeness, what with dealing with Jashinists and all.

Italy said, "I think we should try the whole immortality thing they were talking about."

Hidan agreed, "Yeah, we need to show the fucking world to not mess with Jashinism!"

"Yeah…" I said. I'd like to be immortal since it's a rather nifty ability and all, but I don't know. I know Hidan will make it, but would Italy or I?

The issue with immortality was on my mind until we reached the clearing to perform our sacrifice.

Hidan roughly threw Earl, the last Nijihashi, on the ground. "Wake up, fucktard!"

"Mmm?" Earl woke up slightly. "Aaah!" He lurched backwards upon seeing us. "Wh-what did you want?"

Italy sneered, "A corpse, silly boy!"

Hidan added frostily, "And we aren't gonna let you off easily, dickhead. Your little group fucked with some of our members."

I added with a far-off look (hopefully) in my eyes, "We don't like people fucking with our members, silly little dickhead. You're gonna have to pay for letting your gay little organization fuck with Jashinism with your blood."

"Gay?" said Earl. "I have a wife!"

Italy facepalmed, "Rainbows symbolize homosexuality, bitch!"

"Where?" said Earl.

"North Dakota!" I chirped.

"Where the flapjack is North Dakota?" said Earl.

I said, "Near Italy!"

Italy added, "Not really…"

"Yeah…" We stood around awkwardly for a couple of seconds, not really sure what to do.

"Well," Hidan broke the awkward silence. "Time to die!"

"Hell yeah!" Italy cheered as she plunged her pike into Earls hands, pinning him to the ground.

Earl hissed in pain, "What are you crazy kids doing?"

I shrugged slightly whilst pulling out a barbed whip, "Killing you."

"Pretty much," Italy added, bringing out a paddle with which she would beat Earl with.

"Bitch's got a point," said Hidan, pulling out a long dagger.

Let the sacrifice begin!

That was an interesting sacrifice. Earl kept on screaming something about how Ruth was going to trip us all with her ropes of doom and shit like that. It psyched Italy out, for some reason.

Hidan stretched, "Man, what a day! Thank Jashin-sama we're almost at the temple!"

"Yeah," Italy agreed.

The temple was about half a mile away from us. I could already imagine the nice warm bed and bath and setting down Nancy.

Nancy is my halberd, by the way.

Fast-forward to when we meet Erwin at the temple!

So, we met Erwin at the temple. He's short like really short like shorter than Italy short. "Whoa, Italy," I said. "He's shorter than you!"

Tick marks appeared on Italy's head, "Shut up!"

"What?" I asked innocently. "I'm only saying it because it's true!"

Italy grumbled about not being short, violet eye flashing. I just now realized that the three people in our group have weird eyes. I should say that! "We have weird eyes!" I chirped, totally ignoring Erwin's lecture about STD's or something to that extent.

"…" Hidan and Italy stared at me blankly. Italy laughed, "Let's get you to bed, Colette-chan."

"Okay!" I said. "Carry me? Wait, just kidding! You're too short!"

"Yep!" Italy grimaced and pulled me towards the bedrooms, completely ignoring Erwin's protests.

Hidan shrugged and followed us to the random chamber Italy dragged me to. There were three beds. Perfect!

I collapsed onto the fluffy be in the middle. I sighed, "Bliss!" then fell asleep faster than if someone had knocked a rock over my head.

xXxPhoebe's POVxXx

The company was done sacrificing Sam. I feel bad for Italy because Sam kept on threatening her with Ruth. Poor girl…

Anyway, I was off to go meet with Madara again. I don't know what his business was in the Land of Noodles, and I don't think I want to know, either.

I stopped slightly. The company's chakra had been still for a while. Must've reached the temple, I thought.

"Hello, Phoebe," Madara appeared in front of me.

"Madara-san," I glared.

"Phoebe,"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I need you for the Akatsuki now," Madara said. "I know I said in January, but the Akatsuki is going to begin collecting the tailed beasts now."

"Uh-huh," I bit my lip in contemplation. "When are you going to need me?"

"As soon as possible," Madara said. "As in now."

"Now?" I gasped. I still had so much to teach my ladies! I was going to teach them this month!

"Since I doubt you'll leave without the two girls accompanying you," said Madara. "I have arranged for two of the Akatsuki members to kidnap them."

"What?" I backed up, but Madara snatched me. "Let's go, we have much to discuss."

Next thing I know, I was on top of a skyscraper. I could just hope my girls were okay…

xXxColette's POVxXx

The sunshine woke me up from my deep slumber. At least I thought it did. The first thing I noticed was that Hidan and Italy's beds were empty, but unmade. The next thing I saw was that there were two men in the doorway.

Holy fuck!

They were two of the most wanted men in this entire world: Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. I tried to fix my hair quickly. Hey, Itachi was hot!

I knew this day would come as soon as we got into this world. I was sure that someone would find out about two mysterious girls with weird names that made references to an exotic culture. I was just hoping it would be the Cloud Village. I love that place!

Kisame said in his deep voice, "So you're… Colette?"

I blinked slowly and said, being in a pissy mood for… reasons, "No, I'm the muffin man."

It was Kisame's turn to blink slowly, "Yes or no, kid: are you Colette?"

"What if I'm not?" I huffed.

"Then we would kill you. Right, Itachi?"

"Yes," said Itachi.

"Well," I laughed nervously, getting up. "That gives me some incentive, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Kisame deadpanned.

"Let's go," said Itachi.

"Wait! I'm not ready to go!" I flipped out.

Italy poked her head in, "Get over your vanity, Colette."

I sent her a glare but followed her and the two Akatsuki members for Jashin-sama knows why to Jashin-sama knows where. I felt kind of bad about leaving Hidan without a goodbye, but I'll see him eventually.

I shook why head and slipped on my shoes and grabbed Nancy. Well, at least I like Itachi…

Okay, I don't have anything smart to tell my character today, nor will I write a long author's note down here. I'm tired…

Fun Fact: Colette's favorite character in the series is Sasori. Italy's is Tonton. Yes, the pig.

Er, I dunno what to write. Sorry, I'm not in the mood to check for any mistakes.

Um, yeah… The Akatsuki's here… Development… Yay… Review…

'Night! Don't let the bed bugs bite. Or have a nice day! Don't get sunburnt! :)