Yo!

So sorry I didn't update sooner, but I've been busy and in a bad mood as of late. I pinky swear that I'll upload at least one more chapter this weekend! If I don't, I'll write a story for you guys. I'll write that story, too, if I get seven (a lot!) reviews for this chapter. Incentive!~ ;)

Soooooooooooooooo, I have the pairings kind of planned out. All four I mentioned in the last chapter (Deidara, Itachi, Hidan, and Zetsu) will be involved, and it will be complicated! You see, I'm an expert at making these complicated love polygons. I have this "family" at school, and I've been married… 3 times?... and have "had" many an illegitimate child. One of the pairings has been hinted a bit, but nothing more than hints will go on for a couple of chapters.

I don't write that much romance…

But, anyway, I'd like to thank the people who gave me some ideas with the pairings or just reviewed in general: Chair, Grrr, AngelOfAnime97, TheBlackCat01, YukoxxxIchikawa, and blackdragon999. Thank you all, and all of you who favorite/put this story on story alerts, thank you guys, too. (Sorry I haven't mentioned you 'till now…) Again, I'm sorry I updated so late.

Well, this chapter is different. We had a test last Friday on "The Odyssey," and I was inspired. That's one of the reasons this chapter was so late: end of the six weeks. Bleh.

Well, I'll rant more at the bottom…

Enjoy!

Disclaimer! OCs only. None of the pop/musicals/animes mentioned are mine.

Chapter Nine! The Odyssey

xXxItaly's POVxXx

Hello, Colette, how do you do?

Me? Well I was hoping not to see you so soon.

Just kidding! I love you!

Well, anyway, about my travels,

We went far, me and Phil.

We traveled over rivers. We traveled through hills.

(Quite literally, there were tunnels.)

Along on this travel with Phil and me

Went lava girl and shark boy -I mean Itachi and Kisame!

On this quest, adventure, odyssey, this long journey-

Not very long you say?

It must already be May?

Only a week, eh?

Well, we went on a journey,

And I shall tell you of it... okay...

Wait go to the kitchen, you say?

Why's that, ne?

Oh, more quiet, you say?

Well no tha- I mean, whatever you say, Colette-sama, okay...

Well, the beginning was walking,

Endless walking.

I mean like not stopping once walking.

I'll skip this part;

It's interesting as a fart.

Anywho,

We arrived in Konahagakure!

Here we first stopped in a café.

I had some tea, as sweet as May.

My pimp hat thingy got in the way.

My posse's garments attracted attention

From Asuma who inquired our direction.

I'm not too sure what happened next,

But sure as hell did a fight commence.

I stayed on the side, acting as a scout,

But I didn't see Might Guy when he pounced!

Quickly we scurried ourselves out,

But all Kisame did was pout

About the senior green one's kick.

How he came undetected made shark boy sick.

Off we went to search for the orange one

In a city that I forget the name of...

...

I decided to detour Sasuke

So he wouldn't find Itachi and flip out, 'kay.

I was bound and determined to keep Sasuke away,

But first I'd have to convince Kisame with skin the color of day

That I could stray

Without running away,

Okay?

Good!

I pouted and shouted and flip outed

Until Kisame shouted,

"Fine!"

Then I left to find Sasuke,

Dimmer than a rainy day.

And there I saw him, running like a fridge,

On an itsy-bitsy bridge.

"Hey, Uchiha!" I called out.

Little he seemed to hear my shout,

For he continued running over the bridge

Like the idiot that he is.

I sent out three chakra parcels in the form of clones,

Boxing the boy in so he'd be all alone.

Two of me perched on the railings beside him

While the other stood behind him.

The real me stood in front of him, halting him immediately

As if I were a wall or tree.

He screwed up his eyes, taking a good look at me.

I said, "Aren't so mighty are you, see?"

Sasuke took a knife, destroying my other three.

He simply looked back to me.

"Why did you stop me?"

"None shall pass!"

I stated, trying to keep from a fit like one would get from laughing gas.

"What?"

"None shall pass!"

He glared at me, eyes turning red.

"My brother's here! I must make him dead!"

I reached for Phil, not in the mood for his sass.

"I said none shall pass!"

Sasuke reached for a kunai

While I even more wanted him to die.

"Then let's do this the hard way."

Sasuke lunged growling, "So you say!"

I too easily dodged his dull attack,

And easily attacked him right back,

Grabbing his collar then dangling him

Over the bridge like the doll he is.

That made him sound nice did it not?

You know I think he's a snot!

Well, anyway, I stood there, Sasuke in hand,

Me ready to drop him into the sand,

But of course someone came to ruin it all.

It was Jiraiya, the... not so small?

I dunno...

I suppose Jiraiya recognized the poor Sasuke,

For the perv asked if he was okay.

"N-no," said Sasuke, of course.

For the boy's fear I felt no remorse.

I simply dropped him into the water below.

Jiraiya caught him, so

I wasn't pleasured with snot's decent.

In the water, Jiraiya made a dent

Because... Well, it was really just a shadow...

The sage set down Sasuke in the shallows.

From the water Sasuke gave me a glare,

But all I could really focus in was his hair.

It reminded me more of a turkey than a duck,

But it still looked like a butt...

Before I knew it, Jiraiya pounced with a shout,

But I knew he'd beat me in the long run, so I let him win with a pout.

I woke up later draped over Kisame's back,

I was a bit ashamed if that.

But even worse I had been tied up by rope,

And, well, that's all she wrote...

xXxColette's POVxXx

"Interesting..." I said.

Kisame sauntered into the kitchen, "Yeah, Italy-chan's been babbling like that ever since she woke up. Do you have any idea what she's saying?"

I laughed a bit, "Oh, yeah! Italy's just speaking the language we spoke back in North Dakota. It's called 'English.'"

"Weird language," said Kisame, reaching into the fridge. "Guess that's why you have such weird names."

"Yeah," I said, idly twirling the straw in my empty drink glass as I watched Italy singing show tunes, Wicked actually. "Our names are a bit odd where we come from, too, though."

"Ah," Kisame said vaguely as he prepared a sandwich.

The two of us sat there quietly as Italy continued singing. She had exhausted all of the songs from Wicked and had moved on to pop music. She didn't even like pop music...

"I'm you biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me! Papa-paparazzi..."

I was flipping through a fashion magazine that Itachi had brought me for some reason. I couldn't really read most of the words, but thank Jashin-sama (literally) that the rosaries we got could be looked through to translate Japanese characters into English. We had taken it upon ourselves to learn a few symbols, but how many people can learn Japanese in dive months?

.

.

.

Wait a second!

.

.

.

Literal assholes!

.

.

.

Anyway, I "learned" Japanese in about five 'seconds,' didn't I?

Well, you get what I mean...

But, anywhoodles, reading wig the rosary in public is a bit awkward, so I was just looking at the pictures and picking out a character or two.

"Wait a second!" I slammed the magazine on the table.

Kisame looked up, finished chewing, and said, "What?"

"When's the last time Italy ate?"

"Um, she didn't eat for the two days she was out, and didn't eat at all today, so three days."

"Dear Jashin-sama!" I leapt up, and started making a sandwich. "Do you know what happens when Italy doesn't eat?"

"No?" Kisame watched me.

"That!" I pointed the knife I was wielding at Italy.

"Don't stop! Make it pop! DJ, blow my speakers up to- What?" Italy stopped her... dancing (i.e. flailing).

I gingerly held out the sandwich, "Have a sandwich!"

Italy grabbed it, "Thanks, Colette-chan!"

I returned to my perch on the at the kitchen peninsula (bar, that's just what I call them). I glanced around the kitchen.

It was as nice as the rest of the base, surprisingly modern. There were dark hardwood floors while the cabinets were white. The counters were dark grey granite, and the appliances actually stainless steel. That was a bit surprising. One of the walls was actually a huge window looking out over a spectacular mountain range.

I've made a habit of waking up early to drink coffee and watch the sunrise. Just beautiful...

Phoebe came poked her head into the kitchen. She didn't enter since she had been banned by an angry Kakuzu after he found fur in his food...

Yeah, I saw Kakuzu. I think he liked me relatively well. One of the advantages of being quiet: not having to deal with irritable old men. Yeah...

"Oh, good!" Phoebe smiled as much as dogs can smile. "Italy's eating!"

"Yeah!" I smiled, but it swiftly turned into a frown. "Wait! You knew Italy was hungry but you didn't tell me?"

Phoebe started leaving, "Oh, that's what I forgot!"

"Dear Jashin-sama!" I sighed.

"Colette, I'm tired!" Italy demanded.

"Hey, she talked!" Kisame laughed.

"Yeah..." said Italy, a tab confused.

"I'll ask Sasori-san if you can use his room."

"'Kay."

"What do you mean no?"

"Must I get you a dictionary?" Sasori idly picked at his... fingernails?

"You don't need to patronize me, Sasori-san," I huffed a bit. "I mean, why not?"

"I don't want strangers in my bed."

"That couldn't be taken the wrong way!" I chirped.

Sasori narrowed his eyes in warning, "Brat."

"Sorry, sorry!" I laughed. "But where can she sleep?"

"Not my problem."

"Jashin-sama!"

Sasori rolled his eyes, "You're wasting my time."

"Sorry, sorry! I go talk to Kisame-san or something..."

"I don't care."

"Well, I'll be off then..."

"I don't care."

"Buttface!"

"I don't care."

"Ugh!" I stormed off to find Kisame or something.

"No."

"Aw! C'mon, Itachi-san!" well, or something.

"No."

"Jashin-sama!" I stormed off, knowing better to fight with the stoic weasel.

"Whatever."

"Yeah! Third time's the charm!"

"You do realize you could have just asked me before you left the kitchen."

"Yeah, but I like doing things the hard way!"

"Alright then... You know where my room is, right?"

"'Course!"

"Cooooooleeeeeette-chaaaaaaan, I'm tiiiiiiireeeed!" Italy whined.

"Alright, let's go. Thank you Kisame-san!"

"Whatever," Kisame kept munching on a sandwich while we left. Judging from the pile of plates in front of him, I think he's eaten about ten today...

I eat less than that in a week…

Well, I was going to rant down here, but I forgot what I was going to put down here exactly…

Hmmm…

Well, I know there was some improper grammar (gasp!), but it's all for the sake of rhyme. I do write poetry quite a bit, but it almost never rhymes.

Anyway, I was thinking about starting another fanfiction, but I don't know. I don't think it would upset my updating for this story too much, but here are the ideas anyway:

Q) Another sort of cliché story, the Akatsuki gang appears in our world in the middle of nowhere, but luckily our trusty OCs (who don't know about Naruto) rescue them. This would be a comedy, but a tad more realistic. If you'd like, I could do the same thing, but they'd be cats or pigeons or something.

R) Um, this one's a touch hard to explain, but Deidara's old, eccentric teammate (who he has a crush on) is kidnapped for information. There would be a complicated set of pairings and stuff. I didn't explain that too well, but whatever.

S) The basic "fourth genin team" story, but it's told (mostly) from the sensei's perspective as opposed to the pupils. It still would be funny but it's a bit more serious than the other two. Don't worry, the Akatsuki are still present if you were worried.

I just kind of got these a couple of days ago during a car ride. I was bored… To be honest, I'm leaning a bit more towards… Actually, I quite like them all, so it's up to you. This will be the reward/sorry I broke my promise story, so yeah. Oh, and the Q/R/S choices is just 'cause A/B/C are overrated! XD

Fun Fact: Um… Phoebe is lactose intolerant. I just made that up…

Well, I have to go, so review! And, again, I apologize for the late update! :(