I don't have much to say except that the plot starts here, and I thought that this was chapter 15… Oh, and thanks for the reveiws! :)

Disclaimer! I think I got this through the first 11 times…

Chapter thirteen! Bacon?

xXxItaly's POVxXx

I stood with Colette overlooking the smoldering rubble of the living room. I sniffed vaguely and wrapped the blanket a bit tighter around me. "Well," I started. "this place looks fucked up to me."

"Yeah," Colette agreed. "What're we supposed to do about it?"

"Dunno. I'm not even sure how it started."

"I thought Itachi started it."

"Me too. He said that he didn't, though, and I trust him."

"Yeah... You know what?" Colette pouted.

I replied, "No, not really. What?"

"I blame Kakuzu," she stated. "-san. I blame Kakuzu-san."

"Me too."

Apparently Colette's had a couple of ordeals with Kakuzu. I have no idea what they were, but I think they had something to do with respect. The two of us made our way to the kitchen. "So how's Dei doing?" I asked.

"Oh, Jashin-sama knows. I don't think he'll be up for a while, though."

"He got burnt pretty bad, didn't he?"

"Nope, not at all." Colette laughed.

"Good."

"So, Italy, what do want for breakfast?"

"Er, cereal."

Colette glared at me. "Hun, you can get that for yourself."

"Well then." I huffed and got myself a bowl of cereal.

Colette hung around the toaster waiting for her bagel to be done. I stared, "So why do you think the fire started?"

"Dunno," Colette continued. "I didn't think much about it."

"Really? You aren't curious?"

"Well, sure I am," Colette said while getting out some I Can't Believe It's Not Butter from the fridge. "It's just too much effort to harry myself over it."

"Dear Jashin-sama," I said through bites of Crunchy-Honey-Cluster-O's. "You'll never going to going to get one of those jobs that has anything to do with small talk."

"I hope not," Colette hummed, looking through the fridge. "Hmm, we're out of milk."

"Sorry."

"Whatever. Oh, we're out of eggs, too."

"Oh, that's not good. How about that? We can't be out of that."

Colette sifted through the huge fridge. "Holy shit!"

"What?" I paused, spoon halfway to my mouth.

"We-we're-"

"Wait!" I put my spoon down. "Are we?"

"We are!"

We wailed, "NOOOOOOO!"

"The horror!" I cried.

Colette added, "The blasphemy!"

"The unclogged arteries!" I said.

Colette cried, "The, um, er, uh-"

I continued, "The evil!"

"Eh-"

"The servitude!"

"Ne-"

"The pacifists!"

"Wha?"

"The hair bands! Oh, Jashin-sama, not the hair bands!"

"Italy!"

"The-"

"Italy! Calm the fuck down!"

"Oh, um, yeah. I overreacted a bit right there."

"Yeah..."

"Wait, what sort of hair bands did you mean?" Colette asked after a while.

"The musical type."

"Hun, keep those damn images out of my mind! Oh, Jashin-sama!"

Kisame poked his head in, "Um? What exactly is going on?"

"It's tragic!" I said. "We-we- Oh, Jashin-sama, I can't even say it! Colette, help me with this one."

"We," she wet her lips. "We-we ran out of..."

"What? What did we run out of?" Kisame said.

Colette clutched a bit at her heart. "... Bacon."

"Okay," said Kisame.

Colette continued, "We have to go get some more-"

"Right now! We have to go right now!" I grabbed Kisame. "You're the only one around here with money. Let's go!"

"What?" Kisame stumbled some, but got his footing back almost instantly since he was an epic ninja and all that. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"Sure you do, but I'm not gonna listen to you," I replied. "Now where's Itachi?"

"I dunno."

And speak of the devil, there he was! Well, Itachi, not the devil. But I guess a lot of people didn't really like him all that much... Anyway, I grabbed Itachi. "C'mon, we're going shopping!"

Kisame said, "Is that supposed to encourage him to come? He is a man after all."

I sniffed, "It doesn't matter, he has a pony tail."

Itachi just sort of glared at me.

The grocery store was really cold. It probably would have been more fun with Zetsu scaring everyone, but I did get Kisame to scare a few people. He can be a real sweetheart sometimes. I think he's a bit mad at me for implying that he looks scary, though.

Anyway, the only interesting thing that happened when we... bought... the groceries was the security chasing me because I took most of the bacon from the meat section. We have plenty of bacon now!

Wait, do they even have bacon in Japan? Well, I guess this isn't exactly Japan, but still...

"Honey, I'm home!" I called into the kitchen where Colette usually is. Well, that sounded sexist.

"Hi!" Colette called. "Did y'all get it?"

I held up the several bags, "Hell yeah!"

"Any sacrifices?"

I glared at her. "Do you not see the person flung over my shoulder?"

"Oh, yeah," she started putting up the groceries with the help of Itachi and Kisame. I don't do women's work! "Aw, you got rope on him!"

"Yeah," I smiled proudly. "I got it on him all by myself, too!"

"Way to go!"

"I guess Ruth's not quite so mad at me anymo- Holy drug paraphernalia!" I yipped. The rug just sort of spontaneously combusted. No biggie. I mean, psh, it just frightened me a little. "Damn you, Ruth, and all of your followers!"

Kisame said, "Ruth?"

Colette informed him, "The goddess of rope."

"That makes sense," he said. "I guess..."

"Itachi!" I whined. "where is it coming from?"

Itachi activated his Sharigan. "I cannot identify the source, but it was created with chakra."

"Fix it! I don't want Kakuzu on my tail when he and Sasori come back.," I ordered.

Kisame said, "Italy, I don't know how to put this gently-"

"What he's trying to say is that we aren't your personal bitches," Colette interpreted.

"Fine! I'll fix it then." I rolled my eyes and filled a cup with some water. I poured the water out in the rug. "There! I fixed it!"

They shrugged and went back to work. I sat there bored. I watched the rug smolder for a while. I'll admit that I'm a bit of a pyro. How pretty, I was now alone with the charred rug. No one can ever enjoy you again little carpet, and that is art: memories.

"Huh?" the blackens rug started glowing. "Don't tell me you're going to catch on fire again!" No, It didn't catch on fire, thank Jashin-sama, but it was suddenly lit with an odd, swirling purple light, the color of one of my eyes. "Oh," I laughed. "You must be a portal!"

Oh, it's a cliff-hanger! No, not really. I just have no clue where I was going with this except that it needed a plot. So, yeah.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it! Yeah, I won't give you the next part of this until I get a couple of reviews! I can be a feedback whore if I want.

-See y'all real soon!