Gabriel snatches the box of Mike'n'Ikes away from clutching fingers, before snatching up the rest of Ben and sitting down with his nephew on his lap.

"Don't tell your Uncle Sam I'm doing this, he's closed-minded and thinks too much candy will spoil you."

"Like candy could spoil anything."

"'Atta boy, young Benjamin. Here, some for you, some for me…"

"Uncle Gabe?"

"Yes, young Benjamin?"

"The other night, when I wanted a bedtime story, Dad told me the story of how you and Uncle Sam met."

"Did he now?"

"Yeah. But I want to know how Dad met Daddy."

"Dean and Castiel… Ah, now that's a story. Settle in, and…"

"Gabriel." The voice is gruff and gravelly, and overpowered by a flapping of trench-coat and wings.

"Daddy!"

"You shouldn't just land behind people like that, it's rude."

"My apologies… I merely came to thank you again for watching Ben this evening. Also, he left his toothbrush…"

"Daddy…"

"And you had to come check I hadn't lost him in a poker game yet, I know. You know, your lack of confidence is shocking…"

"Daddy, Gabriel was going to tell me how you met Dad."

Ben and Gabriel both get a glare for that.

"Oh, what? I was going to make it all kid friendly, honest."

"I would like to hear this story. And correct any… inaccuracies."

"Jeez, fine. I swear, you're as bad as Sam… Ok, so, once upon a time, there were two brothers, who lived with a huge family… the royal family. These two brothers were princes. And their father, the king, had gone missing…"

"I know this bit, Dad told me."

"Did he?"

"Mm-hm. He said that the two brothers were sent out to find their father, but Castiel was careful and wanted to find his way home, but then you knocked him out, stole his bread and tied him to a tree."

"That's not true! That's… that's slander!"

"It was not bread. It was really more of a cake."

"Yeah, ok, who's telling this story? So… alright, so through whatever strange and unavoidable twists of fate, Castiel, the youngest of the brothers, found himself lost and alone in the woods, with only a little food. That was when the Winchester Wood-cutter appeared, on his way to… chop wood. Or, listen to rock music. Or wear plaid. I don't know, whatever it is he actually does all day."

"More often than not, Gabriel, he is recovering from your misguided prank…"

"I am the story teller, Castiel, which means that you're quiet. Anyway. So Little Beige Trench-Coat Cas gets let down from the tree I totally didn't tie him to, And the Winchester Wood-Cutter, uh…"

"Gabriel…"

"Kisses him… And some other stuff."

"Gabriel!"

"But mostly kissing. Like in Disney movies. So, kissing over, the Winchester Woodcutter says he knows a house in the middle of the woods where they might be able to find some information on the father Castiel was looking for. So they start off into the woods together. But it was dark, and cold, and Castiel was scared, confused and angry. Not to mention, the Winchester Woodcutter was confused himself, because he thought he was in love with Castiel, and he'd never been in love with anyone like that before."

"You mean he'd never wanted to marry someone?"

"No, I mean he'd never done it with a…"

"Yes, Ben, that's exactly what he means."

"Spoilsport. You know, he'll find out, sooner or later. Anyway, where was I? Right, so when Castiel said he thought they might be lost, the Winchester Woodcutter was scared and defensive, and he told Castiel he never got lost. They were both so tired, and so lost, and so frustrated, that they had a huge argument there in the middle of the woods, and both stormed off to stop talking to each other. Little Beige Trench-Coat Cas wandered on through the woods, into the deeper, darker paths, when he found the Big British Wolf. The Big British wolf was evil, and nasty, and liked to rip angels like Beige Trench-Coat Cas to shreds.

'Hello,' he said, 'what are you doing out here in the woods?'

'I'm going to the house in the thicket', Beige Trench-coat Cas replied, 'to find out where my father has gone.'

'That's a waste of time,' the Big British Wolf said, smiling viciously. 'Why don't you stay here with me, and we can play some games.'

But Beige Trench-Coat Cas refused, and the Big British Wolf said 'Oh well. If you must go, let me show you a shortcut.'"

"Gabriel who is this supposed to be?"

"Crowley. You couldn't tell?"

"Your impersonation requires a little work."

"Screw you, Sam thinks I'm hilarious."

"Where is Sam, by the way?"

"He's… a little tied up. Back to the story! Beige Trench-Coat Cas took the Wolf's shortcut, not knowing that it was actually the longer way around to the house. The wolf took the real shortcut, hoping to lie in wait at the house. When he got there, he changed his appearance so he looked like a wise old man. And Little Beige Trench-Coat Cas…"

"The more I hear this moniker, the less inclined I am to like it."

"I am older than you, I out-rank you, and I'm the one telling the story, so you will put up and shut up. You know what we say to people who interrupt, Ben?"

"You are being rude."

"And..?"

"And… I should smite your ass."

"Good boy."

"Dean will not appreciate that."

"Dean might enjoy another trip through the time loop if he's not careful… So. Big British Wolf, dresses up as wise old man, Castiel says 'oh, old wise man, do you know where my father is?' The wolf said 'of course. I can smell him.'

'That's not possible,' says Beige Trench-Coat Cas, 'all I can smell is sulphur.'

'I mean,' said the wolf, 'that I can see him.'

'How can you see anything,' says Beige Trench-Coat Cas, 'out of those big black eyes?'

It is important to note here, young Benjamin, that Little Beige Trench-Coat Cas was not the sharpest knife in the block. The wolf turned on him, and said, 'I can find your father, if you give me something for a spell.'

'Anything,' said Castiel, 'what do you want?'

'Your heart!' Said the Big British Wolf, and he attacked. But, just as he was about to tear Castiel to shreds, the Winchester Woodcutter burst through the door and emptied two rounds of rock salt into the wolf's fat, sorry, flea-bitten butt. And the Winchester Woodcutter said he'd gotten over his big gay freak-out, and that he never wanted to see Castiel in danger again. So they promised to live together and look after each other forever. Happy?"

"Very. It was quite a touching interpretation. But I feel that it is time for Ben to go to bed."

"Ok. Night, Daddy."

"Good night."

"Night, Uncle Gabe."

"Night, kiddo."

"But… Uncle Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

"What's 'gay' mean?"

"It's… uh…"

"Well, you seem to have everything under control here. I really should get back to Dean. Goodnight Gabriel."

"No don't you disappear on… Dad damn it… Ben, stay here… eat some more candy… I'll go untie Sam and… he can answer the awkward life questions."