What We Bury

By: Ridley

Beta: Tidia

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and kind comments. Even the more critical reviews are so important and I take them all into consideration. As for the course the show is taking, I'm remaining optimistic that things will improve, although next week promises to be another Joe-show. I am still encouraging those with concerns to voice their opinions and wishes for the show. I am starting the where's McDanno campaign. Send a postcard from wherever you are in the world asking 'Where is McDanno?' to bring back the relationship that was such a part of the first season. I will post an actual snail mail address for the powers that be at CBS at the end of this chapter. I'm also posting another email address for CBS. If you can't bring yourself to send a card or letter, use that to tell them what you think. Show you care about the show. Like an unflattering review, any feedback is almost preferable to silence. ;-) I find the quote below very significant not only for this story but for the show's season thus far.

RCJ

"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated."-Lamartine

Steve awoke with a gasp, air rushing into his lungs as if he'd been submerged in water without the chance to gather the needed breath for a dive. He took another gulp, coughing when the cool antiseptic-tinged oxygen burned his dry throat.

"Easy." A firm touch grounded him, familiar voice easing his momentary panic as his mind fought for some orientation. "You've been out for a while-just take it easy,"

"Chin." The name sounded garbled, speaking the syllable painful.

"I'm here."

It took a concentrated effort but Steve managed to open his eyes, finding Five-0's lieutenant leaning over him. It was a surreal juxtapose to where he'd been only moments before. "Where…what?"

"You're safe. Murray's taken care of. Everything's fine."

Steve blinked, taking in the same flat egg cream walls he'd been staring at for nearly a month. Gracie's missing artwork and the lack of get well cards told him he was not in the exact room, but the smell Steve was certain would forever remain burned into his olfactory was present, leaving no doubts Steve was back in the hospital, no beach in sight.

Faint fluorescent light had replaced sunshine, the soft hiss of oxygen and whirr of machinery stood in for surf, stiff sheets instead of giving sand held him, and Chin's concerned dark eyes greeted him, not Danny's blue gaze. A longing like homesickness rushed over Steve, an ache so physical he was tempted to curl into a protective ball.

"Steve? Are you with me?"

Steve took another breath, focusing on his teammate's face instead of his surroundings, instead of what was so obviously missing-who he'd left behind. "Where's Grace?"

When Chin hesitated, Steve tried to sit up, forgetting his own pain. He quickly found that although the beach was gone, the pain he had experienced while there was still very much with him. Gray swam at the edges of his vision as his stomach threatened a spectacular show if he didn't stand down immediately, "Shit."

"Moving isn't the best idea, Brah." Chin's warning was delivered in a tone Steve often heard the older man use when breaking up one of Kono and Danny's ridiculous debates on a wide range of topics only adolescents and bored siblings would argue. Its use on him stirred anger, and more than a little sorrow at never hearing it used in proper context again.

"I don't care!" Steve ignored the pinprick burning behind his eyes; Chin's restraining hand as he valiantly attempted to make it out of the bed once more. A little nausea and a headache weren't going to stop him from fulfilling his mission. "What happened to Grace? Where is she?"

"Damn it, Steve, Grace is fine." Chin's light touch shifted, becoming rock solid, his tone hardening with authority. "She's with Danny's dad. I promise you, she's okay."

Steve let his body go limp, the fight leaving him as he read his friend's steady gaze. Chin Ho Kelly did not lie. "What time is it?"

Chin slowly lifted his hand as if he didn't quite trust Steve to stay put, but was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Nearly midnight."

"Damn." Steve closed his eyes, thinking about the five o'clock deadline his partner's wife had given him. Not only had he missed it, but brought Grace to the hospital where she'd witness a maniac shoot another member of her family. "Rachel's going to tear me a new one."

Chin's small chuckle had Steve glaring at him. He saw nothing funny in the situation. "What?"

"That's usually Danny's line." Chin patted his arm in sympathy. "Liam called her and asked if he could keep Grace for the night. In light of all that's happened, Rachel agreed."

"Is Gracie okay?" It was a stupid question; one Steve already knew the answer to. Grace had lost her father. She would not be okay for a very long time. Steve should know, he was still waiting for the 'if ever' part of his own healing.

"She's holding up like a trooper."

"She's brave like her dad." Steve swallowed thickly, studying the blanket covering him. As much as he wanted to see Grace for himself, he wondered if Liam shouldn't have taken her home to be with her mother. Steve had little comfort left to give her, and wasn't sure he could look into her eyes, admit to giving her false hope, confess he'd failed to bring her daddy home. He cleared his throat. "What the hell happened to Murray?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Steve winced at the familiar question. He brought a hand up to touch his head, finding a thick wad of bandaging. Despite the injury, the memories were all there, fragmented and sharp like pieces of a broken mirror. He could easily grasp them, but not without coming away a bit bloody. "Murray coming after me. Fighting with the bastard, the gun going off before I could disarm him."

"The bullet barely grazed you," Chin pulled a chair closer to the bed, taking a seat. "I'm beginning to believe Danny's spiel on you being Super SEAL. The doctor said your reflexes saved you. Another millimeter or so and Five-0 would be looking for a new commander."

Steve glanced up at him, tempted to explain that would still be the case now that his partner was gone. He kept his thoughts to himself when Chin quickly continued.

"As it is you've got a nasty concussion. You've been unconscious for hours, worrying everyone."

"Is he in custody?" Steve half hoped Chin would say that Murray put up a fight and he and Kono were forced to take him out. Of course that would mean Grace would have witnessed the act. He couldn't hope for that even if it meant the bastard who killed Danny was on his way to hell instead of Halawa.

"He is. Kono kicked his ass first, if that makes you feel any better." Chin's smile widened. "I let her do the honors of booking him."

Steve turned his head, looking from the I.V. in his hand to the half empty bag hanging above him. "When can I get out of here?"

"Did you fade out on the part where I said you had a concussion and have been unconscious for hours?"

"I can't be here." Steve hated that his voice broke, that he felt the emotions building up threatening to take over. Even without the concussion, his defenses were worn down. He needed to be by himself before the inevitable happened and he lost complete control.

"Where else would you be?" Chin frowned. "You've been nowhere else for weeks and now that Danny is…"

"Don't talk about Danny!" Steve squeezed his eyes shut, grinding his teeth together. "Please. Just find me a doctor. I'll sign out AMA."

"You haven't even asked about him."

"I don't need to ask about him, damn it. I don't need to know the details." Steve pounded his clenched fists against the mattress. Talking wouldn't change a damn thing. It wouldn't bring his partner back. Steve had tried. He'd tried everything to bring Danny home. "I saw him. Alright?"

"What do you mean you saw him?"

"I know it sounds beyond farfetched, but when Murray shot me, I wasn't in the hospital room any longer. I was on a beach, a deserted island of some kind, with Danny." Steve risked a look at his teammate. If he was going to confess the story to anyone, Chin would be the most likely not to have Danny's shrink friend Dr. Hoy and his canine consultant in for an emergency visit.

"I'm not sure I'm following you, Brah." Chin leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he studied Steve closely. "Maybe I should go find your doctor."

"I'm not delirious, Chin."

"I didn't say you were, only that I didn't understand."

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to harness the energy surging through him, threatening to crack him apart at all the old fissures. "I blacked out and when I came to, Danny was there. He said he'd been sitting on that beach the whole damn time…waiting."

"I bet he was pissed," Chin chuckled. "Danny hates to wait, and we both know how he feels about the beach."

"You don't think I'm crazy?" Steve raised a brow, grimacing when the action tugged at the fresh stitches in his head. He hadn't expected narrow-minded skepticism, but found the simple acceptance a little laid back even for Chin.

"I think that for the last three weeks I've watched you try every way possible to reach Danny. I have no doubt he has been trying just as hard to return the favor. That your mind finally found a way to make that happen-to build that bridge between you two doesn't seem such a far reach to me."

"You think it was some kind of mirage, self deception?" Steve had seen things in battle, heard soldiers recant incidences of loved ones helping them out of harrowing circumstance even though they were thousands of miles away, or years dead. It had never happened to him, and he'd always chalked it up to extreme stress under duress. Now, that line of thinking made his chest ache. As hard as it had been to leave Danny on that beach, the thought the event had only been some trick of his imagination hurt more.

"No. I'm not saying that at all." Chin leaned closer, resting his arms on the rail of Steve's bed. "Many cultures believe the veils between worlds are at their thinnest during sleep. My grandmother thought death was simply a state of altered consciousness and dreams could present an opportunity to talk to those who had passed. I think if Danny wanted to find you, wanted you to reach him, then he chose the perfect place to wait. You didn't find him on the Jersey Turnpike, now did you?"

"The hell of a lot of good it did him," Steve snapped. He was done with the conversation, ready to get the hell out of there. "Either find my doctor or I'll call for a nurse and have her do it."

"Wait." Chin stood up, his hand finding Steve's shoulder once more. "What do you mean by it not having done Danny any good?"

"I mean I couldn't help him." Steve shifted, trying to evade the older man's touch. He couldn't handle any sympathy, especially in the form of human contact. "I couldn't convince him to come back. It's my fault Danny's dead"

Chin tightened his grip, his fingers digging in so Steve was forced to be still and meet his gaze. "Danny is alive, Steve. I don't know what made you think otherwise, but he's still with us and fighting hard."

"What?" Steve shook his head, wondering if he were simply experiencing another one of Chin's grandmother's altered states of consciousnesses, his mind playing dirty tricks telling him what he needed to believe most. "I heard the monitors when I was fighting with Murray. Danny flat lined. Then at the beach he told me his time there was almost up and…"

"The monitors went off because of his change in vitals. Danny's blood pressure and heart rate were off the chart." Chin's face was grim. "I think the nursing staff thought he was going to go into cardiac arrest before we got Murray out of there and you and Grace settled."

Steve didn't get a chance to ask any more questions because the door to his room opened, revealing Grace and her grandfather. The little girl's face lit up at seeing Steve awake, she pulled her hand from Liam's, making a mad dash for the bed. "Uncle Steve!"

"Hey, Gracie," Steve managed around the huge lump that had returned seemingly doubled in size to the back of his throat. He leaned over to give her a hug; a feeling like his head might fall off accompanying the action.

"Danno opened his eyes! He's waking up." She stepped out of the embrace, looking from Steve to Chin. "Did you already tell him, Uncle Chin? You promised you'd let me."

"I'm sorry Grace, but you know your Uncle Steve. He was about to make a break for it, and I had to tell him something to get him to stay."

"You can't leave now, silly." Grace climbed onto the bed beside Steve. "Pappy and I have been talking to Danno the whole time you were asleep. The doctors say he needs to hear our voices so he knows everything is alright and that everybody is okay. When he gets back from his tests, he needs to hear from you, too. He'll be worried about you."

Chin squeezed Steve's shoulder. "Sounds like Danny needs to know the water's safe, Brah."

"He's awake?" Steve shifted higher in the bed, slipping an arm around Grace's small shoulders. He was almost afraid to move, scared he'd awaken and find the whole conversation a cruel dream, another side effect of the concussion.

"It seems Rich Murray did us all a favor by busting in here trying to take you out." Liam stepped to the end of Steve's bed. He smiled at the younger man, looking more like Danny than he had since Steve met him. "He managed to do what you, Grace and all your nefarious accent decals hadn't. He pissed my boy off enough to bring him back from the dead."

"Nobody messes with Danno's monkey." Grace said, dropping her head to Steve's shoulder, a large yawn escaping as the late hour and harrowing events of the long day seemed to be catching up to her. "Or his SEAL."

"But he's going to be okay?" Steve looked from Chin to Liam.

"He's not completely conscious or out of the woods yet. The doctors say it will take some time," Liam continued. "They're waiting on tests, but he's definitely reacting to stimuli and pain now, which they keep saying are excellent signs."

"Don't worry, Uncle Steve." Grace wrapped her hand around the SEAL's, holding it tight. "If people woke up from comas like they do on television and in the movies, Danno would be in here yelling at you right now for getting shot in the head."

Steve frowned at Liam who laughed heartily at his granddaughter's astute and sincere prediction of her father's behavior.

Chin patted Steve's shoulder sympathetically. "I'd say that sounds about right, Brah."

"Steven, why did you put your head in the way of the bullet!" Grace mimicked her father with a false deep voice complete with exaggerated hand waving.

Steve snorted, hugging her closer to him. For the first time in weeks he felt something loosen inside him as Grace beamed up at him with Danny's and Liam's crooked grin. He tickled her, the sound of little girl laughter as welcome and promising as the ocean surf.

"Kiddo, I can't wait to hear Danno say exactly that."

To be continued…

A/N: As promised, the address and email:

Nina Tassler, President of CBS Entertainment

7800 Beverly Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90039-2112

audsvc(at)cbs(dot)com

- You can address it to the attention of Nina Tassler or Peter Lenkov