EPOV

Chapter 2:

Something shrill was piercing through my slumber. Where was it coming from? I tried to peel my eyes open, but they were so heavy. I felt someone next to me, stir. Suddenly I came to life realizing it was my cell phone ringing, and the stirring creature next to me was Bella. I pulled my body up and lunged for my jeans to fish out my cell phone. I noticed it was an overseas call, so I answered it quickly practically falling off the bed as I stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door. An older woman's voice came through to my ears.

"Edward Cullen?" she spoke softly, and professionally in her french accent.

"Speaking," I said clearly.

"Hi, this is Barbra Louis and I'm calling to inform you that you have been chosen for the year long Civil Engineering program in France." My eyes popped open, and my blood started to course through me quickly. I can't believe I was the one chosen out of 300 hundred other students.

"Really? That's great! When do I leave?" I asked anxiously.

"The program starts next week, so we have booked you a flight for tomorrow." My shoulders slumped.

"That soon?" I asked hesitantly. I'd need to tell Mark at the bar, my parents...

"Yes, sir. We're hard on time, and needed to get started as soon as possible. Can you make it?" she asked quickly. I guess it was now or never. I needed this internship for my career. I was only going to be gone a year. I peaked back into the bedroom and saw a sleeping Bella. What would I tell her? I suddenly felt like a jerk, but I had to go.

"Yes, I can" I replied strongly.

"Perfect. Your airline fair has already been taken care of, and you can check in when you get to the Seattle airport. Your flight leaves at 2:30 pm. We look forward to working with you, Edward."

"Thanks, I'm looking forward to it as well." She hung up, and it took me a moment to move my frozen body. I was beyond excited, but I couldn't place the sour feeling in my stomach. My head began to thump, and my eyes started to water. How much did I drink? Not too much, apparently, because I remember everything about last night. I remember first arriving with Aaron, drinking, Beer Pong, and seeing Bella for the first time. My heart tightened at the thought. She was so gracious, and kind. Did I really dance with her? That was unlike me. Songs from the night before started to fill my head, and visions of Bella beneath me did as well. I suddenly got scared at how strong my feelings for her were, so I pushed them away. I'd only known the girl for what, twelve hours? I didn't even truly know her, actually, and now I wasn't even sure if I'd ever get to. How do I end this properly? I looked at my cell and saw that it was already after eleven in the morning. I needed to go pack, and take care of things before I flew to a different country for twelve months. My head thumped harder when I knew all the things I needed to get done, needed to get done now. I reached for a wash clothe and cleaned myself up before I threw my jeans on, and walked into the room for the rest of my clothes. Where the hell are my boxers? Bella was breathing peacefully and a small smile crossed her precious face. Her hair was all over the place, and one of her arms was above her head. The sheet was barely covering her chest, and I couldn't help but stare at her perfect sleeping self. I shook my head and walked over to the desk behind me. I quickly reached for a pen and sticky note. I thought for a moment before I wrote, my mind blank. I quickly jotted down what I could think of, and walked back over to where she lay. I put the note down on the nightstand, and reached over to pull a strand of hair off her pale forehead, noticing some scattered freckles splashed onto her face. I sighed, and kissed her head. I breathed her in one last time, and walked away feeling empty. What is happening to me? The rest of the house was trashed, and there were people sleeping all over the floor and one person even on the counter. A lot of the girls were in just their bras, and one of the guys I stepped over, had vomit on his chest. Teenagers. I closed the front door quietly as I made my way to my car, and before I knew it, I was headed back to Mark's.

I hit the county line for Port Angeles quicker than I thought I would. I reached for the pack of Menthol's in my glove compartment, and lit it. I took my phone out and sent a quick text to Mark telling him what was up. Man, he was going to be pissed. I was his best employee and I was only part time. I owed a lot to that guy. If it weren't for Mark, I wouldn't even have a place to stay. I have a dorm on campus, but I hate being around stupid people. I kind of like drifting around, never staying in one spot. I felt more free that way. Mark gave me a job at his local bar, and I was thankful for the extra cash. Now that I had this internship, I knew a lot of my living ways would change. Hell, I would change, but for the better I hoped. My mind started to think back to Bella. Who was she? It was very unlike me to have a night like that. Well, actually, it wasn't, except that last night had meaning, unlike my other drunken nights that I spent with girls I hardly knew. Bella captured me in a way that I never knew was possible. I felt bad for what I did now that I thought about it. I didn't regret it, but I wonder if she would. I took her virginity, and just left her. My reputation at school was the Man Whore on campus, which I always found amusing. I'm not sure who started the rumor, but it couldn't be more wrong. I bet it was because I was at most of the frat parties that went on, and drunk girls were always climbing on top of me. I'd turned more down than I'd had sex with, which isn't easy to do for a guy. Sure I'd had a few drunken nights that were hazy to me now, but I could still count how many women I had been with on one hand including Bella. Sex was just sex to me, because I was never looking for any kind of connection. I decided to let people think what they will, because it didn't bother me any. I would make it up to Bella somehow, someday. My phone started to ring again, and I saw that my dad was calling. I hit silent, because I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. For all I know, he is the one who finagled my way into the internship. My dad is a good man, but damn he sure is a meddler. The song playing quietly on Mark's iPod caught my attention so I turned it up. I was overwhelmed with the lyrics, and wished that Bella was in the seat next to mine. I wanted her to tell me everything there is to know about her.

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel

Like I'm living a teenage dream...

I didn't care much for the singer's voice, but the lyrics rang true. I needed to start my own playlist of all the songs that I shared with Bella. I pulled up to Mark's apartment, and sighed. Here goes nothing.

The Seattle airport was filled with busy people running around crazily. I stood in front of the large sign above me, and checked for my gate number. I had to dodge people weaving around me angrily, like I was in their way or something. I made my way to gate number 26A, in no rush., My flight didn't take off for another hour, and I was thanking myself for the Starbucks coffee I had bought a few minutes ago. I picked a seat furthest away from people against the windows. It had been raining all day, and I was glad. It seemed to suit my mood. It was hard to say goodbye to Mark, but I knew he would always be right there in Port Angeles with his Bar. At least my dad didn't keep me on the phone for hours on end. He and my mom planned to come visit me at Christmas. I took my phone out of my backpack to check for any missed calls. Nothing. I hoped more than anything that Bella would call or text me. I wonder what she was doing right now. I wish I had some way of getting a hold of her. Maybe she had one of those Facebook things. I took out my iPod and remembered thanking Mark for downloading my Bella playlist for me while I packed. I hit shuffle, and put my headphones in. Music ran through my head, and I remembered my night with Bella, once again. Did I have it bad or what? What is it that is so special about her? I remember how tight she felt around me, and how her mouth tasted so sweet. Her eyes were a deep brown that matched her long hair. She held onto me like I was going to jolt away from her at any moment. My heart swelled. What was I thinking? I wasn't the relationship type. I'd never had one before, and I wasn't looking for one now. I couldn't because I needed to focus on the new life I had ahead of me. I was thanking my mother for teaching me french at such a young age. I started to run through some phrases in my head to distract myself, but gave up when Gorilla Zoe began to play. I tightened my eyes and let my mind drift back to the inevitable.

I'm lost on a road

Walking around looking for a place to go

I'm caught up in a world

Elaborath a maze

I think I'm loosing it

BPOV

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" Alice's voice pierced through my head and I clutched my hears to try and drown her out. It worked until she started shaking me.

"What the fuck, Alice? I'm sleeping! What time is it?" I groaned in annoyance, and pulled myself from her grasp.

"Well, get up, it's after noon! I want to hear all about your night last night!" she squealed while clapping her hands. My eyes shot open and I sat up looking around me. I clutched the sheet around my naked body tightly. Naked? Alice raised her eyebrows confused. Had last night really happened? What did happen? I shook my head trying to remember when Edward's honey eyes came into my flustered mind.

"Oh, my God," I breathed out slowly.

"What? What is it?" Alice said loudly. I held my hand to her mouth to shut her up. My mind played back last night's events like a movie. Dancing with Edward, kissing Edward, sex with Edward. I gasped.

"I had sex with Edward." My voice was barely audible, but Alice unfortunately heard me clearly.

"WHAT?" She was screaming again and jumping up and down on the bed nearly knocking me to the floor.

"Alice, please! Shut up! My head is killing me!" I yelled out, hurting my own ears in the process.

"Oops! Sorry, Bella," she whispered.

"It's alright, just let me catch my bearings." She saluted me, and sat there quietly. I put my head in my hands and thought back to last night as hard as I could. Edward. Where was he? Did we really have sex? I tried to move my legs and I got my answer. I was sore beyond belief. It felt like my uterus was used as a punching bag.

"Um, Bella?" Alice said quietly. I groaned.

"Yes, Alice?"

"There's blood on the sheets," she said in a small voice. I turned to look over immediately and saw what she was talking about. Great. I was no longer a virgin.

"Hey! Look, a note!" Alice said enthusiastically. I grabbed the small yellow square from her hand and read aloud.

Bella,

Something came up and I had to leave. I'm so sorry.

Last night was beautiful.

Thank you.

-Edward

555-247-3611

I sighed, and my heart began to hurt a little. He was gone. I knew this was coming, and I should have tried to prepare myself more for it. Who knew what that 'something' was that came up, and maybe it was an excuse to leave, but he did leave his number, too. I was so confused. I couldn't believe any of this. It was too much. I fell back onto the pillows and threw my arm over my face, letting silent tears flow.

"Oh, Bella, it's okay." Alice soothed. She laid down next to me, and put her arm over my stomach.

"I don't know what happened!" I cried out.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly. "Do you regret it?" I thought for only a second before I knew my answer. I didn't regret sleeping with him. Or did I? I think just regret it's timing.

"No, it just happened so fast, and now he's gone," I replied between sobs.

"You can call him!" she said trying to sound hopeful.

"I don't even know what I would say to him. I'm so embarrassed. I mean, if I was going to loose it to anyone, I'm glad it was Edward. I hardly know him, but he is it, Alice. I don't know how to explain it," I huffed out.

"You don't have to, sweetie. I feel the same way with Jasper."

"Yes, but you still have him," I said quietly. Edward was gone. "What if I never see him again? One night of passion, and that's all I get? It was so beautiful, how could it end like this?"

"It doesn't have to end, Bella. You can call him, okay?" She started to rub my arm in circular motions, calming me. My crying slowed, and I felt like an idiot. This wasn't how is was supposed to be.

"How could he leave like that? What if last night didn't mean to him what it did to me?" Fear was overruling my hope.

"You'll never know until you talk to him, babe." She was right.

Nightfall came, and after an emotional day to say the least, I was exhausted. My mother called right in the middle of my first crying session, and reminded me of the late lunch party I had to attend with her. I rushed home, got ready, and was proud of myself for being able to seem so normal around everyone, when inside, I was broken apart. I took a cold shower, and opened my bedroom window to let the summer breeze in. I sprawled out onto my bed, and grabbed Edward's note. Would he answer my call? I had been going back and forth all day on whether or not I should call him. 'Hey, it's Bella. Remember me? The girl who gave you her virginity last night?' So lame. I was terrified, but my fingers started to dial his number anyway. I slowly put the phone to my ear, and started to shake. 'You have reached; 555-247-3611; this number is no longer in service.' I snapped my phone shut and threw it to my nightstand. My heart sank, and tears flowed instantly. Was it a false number? After that kind of night, that kind of connection, was he really that kind of guy? Sobs shook through my body, as I tried to even out my breathing. I needed to stop this. Stop hurting over someone who obviously doesn't give a damn. You don't even know his last name, for God's sake! I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but him. Anything but the feel of his skin, the smell of his breath, the feeling of him inside of me. How could someone I barely knew tear me this far apart? How did I allow this to happen? I knew dozens of girls who gave their virginity away like it was a burden to carry. For me, it was a supposed to be special, and I only wanted to give it to the person I would spend the rest of my life with. That was gone from me. How could I be so stupid? How could he be so heartless? I found myself hating him almost as much as I hated myself.

Who do you think you are?

Running around leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So, don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

EPOV

2 months later

"Hey, dude, cheer up! You're bringing my mood down!" Juliette said loudly, catching my attention.

"Sorry, Jules, I'm just tired. They kept me at the office doing paperwork until midnight" I said yawning.

"What assholes. You're in Civil Engineering, not an office intern." She was right. I'd been here over two months, and still had yet to get out in the field.

"You're still going to come out tonight, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm so tired, and don't want to be around anyone at the moment," I said whining.

"I see how it is, you douche. I'll just go then," she said teasingly, and started to rise from her hotel.

"It's not you!" I said pulling her arm back down. "You know, since you're a lesbian, I can kick your ass," I said jokingly. Juliette was almost as tall as I was, and being a french model, she had some sass.

"I would crush you," she said narrowing her eyes, and flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder. She was the only friend I had here, so if it weren't for her, I'd go out of my mind.

"Come on, Edward. There's going to be a new band down at the pub, and I'll buy you a drink, okay?" she was pleading with me now.

"All right, fine, but you owe me way more than one drink."

"It's a deal! I'll meet you there at 8?" I looked down to my watch and I had just over an hour to get ready.

"Sure thing."

"Grande! Au revoir!" She kissed my cheek and was gone. I sat back further into my chair and looked out over my balcony. I had to admit, the hotel room they set me up in was pretty fantastic. It was more than enough room, but I couldn't help but get a little antsy and want to move. I took my cell phone out from digging into my back pocket and stuck it on the table. I thought back to Bella, and got sad. What if she had tried to call me? I didn't even think about my phone not working over here, and once I got here, they had already gotten me a new one. I wish there was some way I could find her. Juliette even set me up a Facebook, but even on their, I had no idea how to search for her. I wanted to hear her laugh again, and speak to her. Even if to just say hello, or I'm sorry. I bet she hated me, and I hated that. I wasn't the guy that I probably looked like to her. I tried to picture things if they were reversed. Loose it to a wonderful girl, wake up to her gone with nothing left but a post-it-note, and a number that doesn't even work. I sighed and tugged at my hair frustratingly. Maybe Mark knew one of those guys at the party, who knew her? What if she didn't care at all? Fuck, I should have left a better note. What an asshole. No, I should have tried harder, but it scared the shit out me. Two months later and I'm still thinking of the girl I barely knew. I wonder what her favorite color is, or food, or animal. Hell, I'd even like to know her last name. This is going to be along year ahead of me. I groaned and dragged myself to the shower. I placed my iPod on shuffle, and tried to think of anything else besides her. It was rather irritating, to be honest, and very unlike me. I'm twenty-three years old, and she was probably only eighteen. She had college coming up, and a new life to start. I guess I need to get back to starting mine. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I needed to let it be. I stepped into the hot steamy shower, and hummed along with the lyrics, trying to find myself.

In my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

BPOV

Porch swings are a must have for any house. I sat swinging back and forth waiting for Alice and Rosalie to come over for a movie night. I told them that I hadn't been feeling well, and I didn't want to get them sick, but they insisted on coming over anyway. I was grateful actually, because it felt like I had been spending too much time alone. I hadn't been quite right since the graduation party, so I tried to find anything else to do to keep my mind of it. I felt like such a slut, until Rosalie stopped that thinking quick. She told me that I was a victim, and he was the slut. Maybe she was right, but I was honestly too tired to even think about him anymore. What's done is done. Just then I started to hear Kesha's loud voice booming from Rosalie's speakers as I saw the street light come on. Her red dragon beast pulled into my driveway much too quickly, and I was thankful that my parents wouldn't be home until later. My dad would have flipped out on her for reckless driving. I laughed to myself as they got out of the car and stretched.

"Hey baby!" Rose called out waving her hand.

"Hey," I said waving back.

"Are you ready for a scary movie?" Alice asked in a spooky voice.

"Sure am! What did you pick up?" I loved scary movies.

"The Uninvited. It's looks pretty bad ass and twisted," she said coming up the steps and hugging me.

"Wow, Bella. You don't look so hot," Rose said pulling away from me quickly.

"Gee, thanks Rose" I said sarcastically. I was in sweats and a big t-shirt. My face was extra pale, and my hair was up in a messy bun. Rosalie was always dressed like she was going out to a night club, and Alice was even dressed up a little. "You guys look fancy," I said touching Rose's sequin halter.

"Yeah, well, what looks good, is good! Didn't you know that, Bella?" I laughed at her philosophy and turned to lead them inside. "The pizza should be here any minute, so we can start the movie if you'd like," I said turning to Alice. She nodded her head and they went upstairs to change out of their fancy clothes. I grabbed a blanket and sat down on the couch, feeling extremely tired. I even took a nap today, what the hell? Alice came down first in her pajamas and put the movie in before cuddling up on the couch with me. Rose brought us a few Sprites, and joined in.

I ended up falling asleep half way through the movie, unfortunately. When it ended, Alice started to wake me up, but I beat her to it, and ran for the bathroom. I hurled my pizza and sat down on the tile floor feeling the coolness and started to heave again. Rose and Alice came in quickly and pulled my stray hairs out of my face. I felt better now that my stomach was empty and the girls helped drag me to my bed. I laid down and pulled the covers up to my neck feeling dizzy.

"I'm sorry, guys," I said in a small voice.

"It's okay, Bella, it's not your fault." Alice said smiling.

"Hey, at least you two aren't on your period," retorted Rose from the edge of my bed. "It's driving Emmett and I crazy."

"Bella and I just ended ours actually, so ha!" Alice said pushing her shoulder.

"It's so weird that you two are in sync like that. I mean, you don't even live together." My mind started moving like the speed of light, and I felt even more dizzy.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice said comfortingly.

"I you're gonna puke again, go towards Alice's side!" Rose said laughing. I jolted upright and looked to Alice counting in my head, and using my finges.

"Alice," I started loudly, "I didn't just end mine..."

"Okay...? Maybe we got a little mixed up and off track. It's no big deal, Bella," she replied confused. I counted again and reached for my phone on the bedside table. I opened it up, and immediately went to my period app.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!" I yelled. Rose and Alice looked worried and stood up.

"Bella, what's going on?" Rose said.

"I missed my period," my voice was far off.

"So you're late a few days, it's no big deal, babe," she said as she came and stood next to me.

"No, you don't understand," I said quickly. My breathing picked up, and I had to sit down. "I missed last month's all together..." my voice trailed off at the sight of their eyes growing wide. No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity as I sat and started at the calender on my phone.

"You've been sick..." Alice started, as I nodded my head. Alice's mother was a traveling nurse, so she knew way more about this than I did.

"Didn't you and Edward use protection?" She asked in a serious tone. The sound of his name hurt to hear, but I forced that pain away. I was in shock, and I wanted to die.

"No? I mean, I don't really remember..." I said plainly.

"He probably thought you were on Birth Control, honey," Rosalie said. I stood up angrily.

"How could he just assume that?" I yelled out and started to pace. "I mean, what the fuck? Just because I'm a girl, that means I must be on some kind of baby prevention medicine?"

"No, but did you ask if he had a condom?" she said calmly. I didn't, so I realized that it was my fault just as much as it was his.

"No, I didn't, okay? I was drunk! He was drunk! How can this be happening to me! I'm only nineteen years old!" I knelt down to my knees and started to hyperventilate. Alice sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

"You need to calm down, Bella. It's going to be alright," she said in a sweet voice.

"How is it going to be alright, Alice? I have no idea who is he, where he is, and I'm going to have his child? What about college? What about my life? Oh, my God, what about my parents?" I started breathing more heavily and rocking myself back and forth feeling the room spin around me.

"Alright, I'm going down to Walgreen's to get you a fucking pregnancy test," Rose shouted. She stalked out of the room, and left Alice with me on the floor, beginning to cry.

"Why me?" I asked her.
"These things happen, Bella. Everything happens for a reason," she said quietly. I took in her words and started to cry harder. Me? A baby? I put my hand to my abdomen and rubbed it soothingly. I was fucking up my life, and the child's life growing inside of me. I had no knowledge or means to care for a baby, and that wouldn't be fair to him. Or...her? Alice started to pull me onto the bed and wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry. I tried not to think of anything but the little person that I knew was inside of me.

A few days and three pregnancy tests later, I had started to calm down ,and think rationally. Alice had brought me a few pamplets from the hospital for me to look over, and I found it hard to concentrate on anything.

"Bella?" She asked breaking me free from my thoughts. I looked up to her, and smiled. Thank God for Alice. I was going to tell my parents the news on this beautiful Sunday morning, and Alice said she would do it with me. She was good at keeping Charlie calm, that's for sure. Rosalie had an early orientation tomorrow morning it Port Angeles, so she couldn't be here, but said she was in spirit. I had ran through several different scenarios in my head starting with the worst, first. They'd kick me out and disown me, or worse, want me to have an abortion. That wasn't even something that crossed my mind. I wouldn't take this baby's life away because of my own lack of judgment. Adoption was the next option. Well, an option that they would mention, not me. I had promised myself that I would keep this child, and give it the best life that I could. I knew I would love it more than anyone else in this world could, because I already did. I was terrified. Not of the whole pregnancy process, but of being a mother. I felt like I was still a kid. Hopefully my parents would come around, because I could use their help. I needed them more than ever before. Alice broke my thoughts again.

"Bella?" she said louder this time.

"Yeah, sorry, Al. I'm just thinking. I can't focus on these right now," I said waving the papers in my hand. I glanced at the kitchen clock, and my heart rate quickened. My parents would be getting home from work anytime.

"Okay, that's all right. What have you decided?"

"I'm keeping the baby, Alice. It's the right thing to do." I said firmly. It felt good to say. I was a bit surprised at how fast my motherly instincts were kicking in. Alice nodded her head and smiled.

"What about college?"

"I spoke to my counselor and told her my situation, and I will still go this semester, and take next semester off. She said I could start online classes as soon I am able to go back." School was still vital and important to me, especially since I would have someone else to take care of in seven months. Wow, seven months? Would I be ready by then?

"That's good," Alice said brightly. "I'm glad you're still going to go. And hey, at least you're not 16 like so many other girls out there. That seems impossible."

"You're right. Everything is going to be all right." I felt confident and strong.

"I just have one other question," Alice said quietly. "What about Edward?"

"What about him?" I said honestly. I hadn't even thought of him as a factor.

"Well, aren't you going to tell him?"

"He doesn't deserve to know, in my opinion. Especially after seeing his Facebook." I felt anger return to me.

"His Facebook?" she said shocked.

"Yeah, Rose found him and came over to show me, since I refuse to get an account. It doesn't look like he gets on it often, but his profile picture was of him and some tall brunette in front of the Eiffel Tower," I seethed out. "So, he's a whore, and apparently moved to France."

"Wow, what an ass," she said angrily.

"Exactly." I heard the front door open and suddenly felt sick again.

"They're here," Alice said as she grabbed my hand. I took a deep breath and squeezed her grasp.

"Here goes nothing," I stated, and stood from the table to go take my death sentence. One thing was certain; This baby is now my life, and nothing would take it away. My parents loved me just as much as I loved my baby, so I kept that close to my heart.

Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong

Other times I'll let you, Just find out on your own

But that's when when you'll be growing

And the whole time I'll be knowing

You're gonna fly

SADNESS! It will get better, I promise!

Song Inspirations:

Teenage Dream-Katy Perry

Lost-Gorrila Zoe Ft. Lil' Wayne

Jar of Hearts-Christina Perry

Let it Be-The Beatles

You're gonna be-Reba McEntire