EPOV

Chapter 3:

4 and a half years later...

Time. How fast it can go without your knowledge of its passing. You wake up one day, and you're not where you thought you might be the night before. This feeling has been coming to me a lot lately. Here I was, 25 years old, and I didn't have much to show for my life thus far. My father likes to think otherwise, of course. He's a good man, but he doesn't realize what I truly want from my life. I have been successful in my career. After moving back to the States from France, two years ago, I have done well for myself, because of how hard I tried. I worked on major railways, underground water systems, and highways all over the country. I was happy. At least, I thought I was, until I realized how alone I am. It's interesting to me, because I've always relished in being alone. I've always fought to be alone, until recently. I wanted a life with meaning. Meaning being a wife, children, and love. The problem was, I didn't know how to look for it. I didn't meet the type of woman that I would like to marry, everyday. I didn't know it was so hard to find, until I noticed that I hadn't found it. I hadn't dated anyone in well over a year, and anytime I have dated, it hasn't lasted longer than a month. I felt like I needed to give up and let her find me. That had me feeling like I would be waiting for an eternity. And work? Well, my career was far from boring, but after a while it became so stale. I got up, worked, came home, and repeated the process feeling like it would never end. Like nothing exciting would ever happen. So, I quit my job at the major company I had been with, and couldn't feel more free. I have decided to start my own business, small, and conventional. I searched across the U.S. For the best possible place to start, and nothing has come up. Here I sit in Dallas Texas, finished with my last project, staying in some random hotel room, and decided to keep on searching. I know what I want, and just like I worked for my career, I'd work for happiness as well. I opened my laptop and went straight to Google. I flicked my lit cigarette into the ash tray on the table next to me, before I took another hit of it. I tried to think of where I wanted to live, but nothing was coming to mind. I laid my head back onto the bed frame, and thought back. Where was I most happiest? I had no friends, and my parents were retired, and traveling the world. I have no one. I thought harder. Mark! I wonder what he's been up to. We haven't talked in at least a year, and then he was exactly where I left him, except he was married. Lucky bastard. I reached for my phone and decided to call him. Maybe he would help me sort all of this out.

Before I knew what was really happening, I found myself arriving at the Port Angeles airport one morning in October. The air was considerably colder than the heat that Texas was still suffering through. I managed to get my luggage with everything still in tact, and slammed the Cab trunk lid tightly, before getting in. I gave the driver my destination, and we were off. I was meeting Mark at his bar, and I was excited. I hadn't felt excited about anything in a long time. Mark helped me more than he would ever know. He helped me get the job to redo the flood draining system in Forks, and even get my own building leased out for my new office. I hadn't been around here since I left, over four years ago, and was glad to see that nothing had really changed except for me. I looked at it in a new way, and knew that it was home. As I stared out the Cab window, I relished in the thunderstorm that was going on around me, and felt like this was the time of my life. A new start, for a new man.

I made it to the bar just as the storm started to get a bit worse. I poked my head in and was happy to see that it was full of people. At least Mark was still getting excellent business. I looked around at the familiar place that I used to work at, and noticed he had remodeled. A lot of the new wall hangings I didn't recognize until I looked up above the mirrors behind the bar and saw the sign I had stolen for Mark on his 24th birthday. 'Jointed Place.' Mark was scared that I was going to get arrested once I had stolen it, if a cop came here and saw it, but back then, I didn't care one bit.

"EDWARDO!" My nickname from Mark rang through my ears and I turned to see my old friend jogging towards me, with open arms.

"MARCUS!" I called back, as we gave each other a quick tight embrace before pulling apart. I patted his back with a loud smack, and he shoved his hand through my head full of hair.

"It's been so long! I'm glad you're here," he said smiling.

"I am too, man. It feels good to be here," I said firmly, as he nodded.

"Want a beer?"

"You read my mind," I said laughing. We walked to the bar and I took a seat at a stool.

"Hey, Emmett!" Mark called to one of the guys at the end of the bar. The stalky muscular guy looked up and walked over to us smiling. "Two brewsky's please. Did you ever meet Edward?"

"Uh, can't say that I have," Emmett said extending his hand for me to shake. "Emmett Scott." I shook his hand and smiled.

"Edward Cullen," I replied nicely. The guy looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place it. "You look familiar, actually," I said pondering. Emmett smiled and looked like he thought felt the same way. Mark looked between the two of us laughing.

"I think you guys went to the same school," Mark said.

"Yeah, that's got to be it," Emmett replied.

"Yeah, must be," I said far off. Weird.

"Edward used to work here, actually," Mark said smiling.

"Really? I love it here. I wish I could do it full time," Emmett said sadly.

"Man, I told you to quit that snob job and become my partner!" Mark said loudly. They noticed my confused expression.

"Emmett is a lawyer with his hot wife, and hates it." Mark said in a dull voice.

"He's right, on all accounts," Emmett said laughing loudly. "I just work here a couple nights a week, because I enjoy it." I smiled and laughed with him. I knew what it was like to hate your job. Well, I didn't hate mine, I just lost my passion for it, unfortunately.

"I know how you feel, minus the wife part," I said jokingly.

"Yeah, Edwardo over here is going to be a bachelor for the rest of his life," Mark said nudging my arm playfully.

"Gee, thanks friend," I said sarcastically. Emmett laughed loudly again and brought us two beers. I look a long swig of mine like it was the air I needed.

"Poor guy. Hey, my wife may be able to hook you up with someone, though! We're actually having a party in a few weeks for Halloween at our cabin on the beach. You should come," Emmett said nicely.

"That sounds great, yeah," I said honestly.

"Perfect. You still need to meet Angela, too! And when the little one comes, you'll be Uncle Edwardo!" Mark said enthusiastically. My eyes grew wide and warmth filled my stomach.

"You guys are expecting?" I said in shock.

"Just found out today! She's due in June. I hope it's a little boy, man. I don't know if I could handle living with two girls!" Mark said playfully.

"That's so great. I'm pretty excited to be an uncle!" I said. I couldn't help but feel jealous of my good friend, but I knew it was all in good time. I would feel the happiness he felt, soon enough, I just needed to be patient.

"Hey, what about me?" Emmett said punching Mark's arm from across the bar.

"Oh, you get to be Aunt Emmett, of course," Mark said in a sad impression of a girls voice. I laughed loudly at their joking. It looked like things were going as they should, and I felt like I was meant to stay here for a long time. Maybe I never should have left.

BPOV

3 weeks later...

Time passes in moments...

moments which,

rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end.

How rarely do we stop to examine that path,

to see the reasons why all things happen,

to consider whether the path we take in life is of our own making

or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed.

But what if we could stop,

pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?

Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life?

And, seeing those choices, choose another path?

I couldn't believe that Autumn was finally upon us. I love this time of year, despite the freezing wet weather. It was going to be Christmas in just under two months, and that got me excited. I felt like a little girl when I thought about December. I mostly cared for the food and the decorations, but the presents were a nice add to it. Thinking of Christmas had me on the computer already putting things on Layaway. I wanted to get all the people who mean the most to me, a perfect gift. They've all helped me so much, I wish I was able to repay them all. I guess I should get off the computer and close up the office, though. My mother had already left work to get home to make dinner, so that left me, and fifteen other whining animals in the back. It was insanely irritating at first, but I'd grown used to it over the years. Plus, if it weren't for my parents, and those whining creatures, I wouldn't have a job at all. At least I was able to finish two years of school and get my associates degree in Veterinary Technology. Even with all the other crazy things going on in my life, I managed a 4.0, and only missed one day of class. I hoped that in a few years, I would be able to go back and get my bachelors. A few years sounds far away to some, but to me, time no longer existed. It flew by without any of us being able to slow it down. It held no remorse for anyone, and it was infuriating. I was 23 years old, and I felt like I was 40. AS I shut down the computer, I heard a noise coming from the back, and couldn't place what it was. I stood up quickly and ran back to my mother's office when I realized my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I said out of breath.

"MOMMY! When will you be here? Grandma said that dinner is almost ready," My daughter's voice sent warmth to my heart, and I smiled.

"Tell her I am about to lock up and leave, okay sweetie?" I heard her sigh over the phone.

"Okay, but you've been gone forever!" She said whining. I couldn't believe that I was blessed with someone so beautiful, and someone who loved me as much as she did. I didn't feel worthy of her perfection.

"Grace Lynn," I said sternly. "You know that mommy has to work, right?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice.

"Okay, good. I will be there in 20 minutes, alright?"

"Okay!" She yelled. "Can I count to twenty?" I smiled at her knowledge. She was only four and a half, and already doing things that kids a couple years older than her did.

"Well, you'll have to count to 60, twenty times, my love. You remember why, right?"

"Because there are 60 seconds in a minute!" She said proudly.

"That's right," I said just as proud. I started to lock doors as I passed by them, and grabbed my coat before heading out into the dreary weather.

"Okay, when can I start counting?"

"Right now."

"Okay, mommy, I'll see you soon!" I could hear that she was about to hang up so I stopped her.

"Gracie," I said.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I love you, mommy!" she said in her angelic voice.

"I love you more, sweetheart," I replied, and hung up, locking the main door behind me.

As I pulled into my parents' driveway just after 6, I noticed how short the days were getting in light. My childhood home had orange lights up around the front porch that Grace helped my mother string for Halloween. I saw Alice's car parked in the driveway next to my dad's cruiser, as I got out of my Camry. I started my way up the front steps when I saw the door fly open, and got ready for Grace to jump into my arms. I hated that I had to work all day, but at least she was in preschool, and not just sitting at home with Alice all day.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" she yelled as she ran and jumped into my arms. I caught her in my arms and almost fell back down the stairs as I hugged her tight.

"Hi, baby!" I said after I kissed the side of her head.
"Grace Lynn Swan," I heard my dad say from inside the house. Grace twisted around in my arms to look at him.

"Yes, grandpa?"

"Let your mother get into the house before you jump on her, alright? You're going to break her back!" He teased.

"I won't break her back, silly! I'm not heavy enough!"

"No, but you are a big girl, right?"

"Yes, sir! The biggest of girls!" She said. She jumped out of my arms and ran to my father jumping into his. He faked pain and stumbling while she laughed. She wasn't any bigger than any other kid her age, but I wasn't as strong as people my age. I'd always been a whimp. I don't think I gained an ounce of muscle until Grace was born because I carried her around everywhere. I walked into the house and took my coat off to hang on the coat rack as I closed the front door. Pork Loin and mashed potato's radiated through the house as I took a big wiff of it. Grace had my dad pinned down on the living room floor attempting to tickle him. I laughed at their silliness and headed for the kitchen.

"Smells good, Mom," I said as I walked over and took a piece off a roll that had just come out of the oven.

"Isabella Marie! You quit that. You haven't even washed you hands!" My mother said angrily. I rolled my eyes and went to the sink and did as told.

"She'll never learn," Alice teased. I looked over to her setting the table and stuck my tongue out at her.

"How was Grace, today?" I asked her casually.

"She's was great, as always. I picked her up at noon. She took a nap, and then I helped her label one of the homework sheets that her teacher gave out. She counted to twenty, faster than I did," she said laughing.

"That's my girl," I replied smiling widely. "Where's Jasper?" I said looking around.

"Oh, he had to go over to Port Angeles and give a statement to Rosalie on one of their new cases. He won't make it for dinner."

"Well then he better be here next week, because I intend to get revenge on him for winning Apples to Apples last week," I said teasingly. Alice and Jasper got married out of high school in December, just like everyone said they would. They are perfect for each other so I understood why there was no point in waiting. Two two years ago Jasper got signed on as my dad's deputy, and Alice decided that she didn't want to go to college. She'd actually became Grace's full time nanny once I was back in school, and has been ever since. If it weren't for her, I'd have to put Grace in Day Care, to keep working to pay my bills. I had to admit though, I was a bit jealous that Alice got to spend all day with her, because I missed her so much, but I was more grateful than jealous.

"Bella, go get your dad and Gracie. It's time for dinner." I nodded my head at my mother and went to the living room.

By the time we made it home, Grace was already asleep in my arms as I carried her into her lavender colored bedroom. She was only up this late once a week when we had dinner at my parents' house. It was only 8:30, but she usually was in bed by 7. She always has loved to sleep. My parent's always teased me saying that I had the best baby in the world. She's never been sick, she's incredibly smart, and she loves to sleep. I laid her onto the bed, already dressed in her pajamas that my mom had, and pulled the covers up to her neck. I kissed her forehead, and moved her ringlet curls out of her face. She's pale like me, and already had a few freckles on her cheeks. Her eyes were a deep brown color that she got directly from me and my dad. If it weren't for her auburn hair color, she'd be a spitting image of me at that age. In the sunlight, she had a deep shiny red tint to it, and it hung just below her shoulders. She had his hair: thick and wild. It was beautiful on her, but every time I noticed it, I felt a pain twist inside of me. I stood up and looked down on her little sleeping face. I turned her night light on beside her bed, and saw butterflies dance across the walls in different colors. I sighed and turned to walk out of her room, leaving the door slightly cracked behind me.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, it wasn't from my alarm going off. I had a tiny little girl on top of me singing at the top of her lungs.

"JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW," she sang out. I put my hand to her mouth and smiled.

"Not so loud, baby, it hurts my ears."

"You don't like my singing, Mama?" she made her lips pout and folded her arms across her small chest.

"Of course, I do," I said reasurringly. "It's just that mommy isn't really awake yet, so it was loud." She unfolded her arms and smiled.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I pulled her down to me in a hug and started to tickle her rib cage as she yelled out in laughter. She had the best laugh. It always put a smile on my face. I smiled even wider when I realized that it was Friday. Just like any other adult, I looked forward to the weekends immensely. It meant that I'd get two whole days to be with Gracie. My phone started to ring on the night stand and Grace reached for it answering in her best impression of Squidward.

"Hello," she moaned out. I laughed quietly to myself. "Sure, she's right here! Mama, it's grandma," she said handing me the phone. I sat up in bed and stretched my legs.

"Hey, mom," I said yawning.

"Hey, don't worry about coming into work today, alright? The rain flooded the office again so we took the animals to the shelter down town while they repair it over the weekend."

"Again? Damn, I thought they fixed it the last time," I said rubbing my face. Grace looked over to me with a frown.

"You said a bad word, mommy," she said waving her finger at me. I whispered 'sorry' to her, as I listened to my mom speak again.
"Yeah, well it's the storm drains that need to be fixed in this town, but I heard that they finally hired someone for it. Anyway, Alice called this morning and wanted to know if you were up to a free weekend?" she asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" I instantly knew where this was headed.

"Well, apparently Rose is having a few people out at their cabin for a Halloween party, and we thought you might want to go. Your dad and I would be happy to keep Grace." I knew what she was trying to do, and I hated it. They were all plotting against me to go out and 'live a little' as they say, but I was perfectly fine staying at home with Grace.

"No, it's okay mom." I said quietly.

"Come on, Bella, please? It would be fun, and your dad wants to take Grace to a science museum in Port Angeles tomorrow. You need some time for yourself, so we're not taking no for an answer." She said in her stern motherly voice. I knew that it was pointless to argue with her.

"Fine."

"Great! I'll be by in a couple hours to get Grace. See you then." She hung up before I changed my mind and decided to fight her on it. I groaned and laid back onto my pillows. Grace had turned cartoons on, and laid her head on my stomach.

"Hey, Gracie," I began slowly.

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel about staying the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Like a sleepover? Can I mommy, please?" She was jumping up and down on the bed at this point.

"Well gosh, okay then," I said feeling relieved. It'd be the first time that I'd spend more than one day without seeing her, and here she was practically waiting for it to finally happen.

"Yay!" She said enthusiastically.

"I'll miss you, baby," I said once I yanked her down towards me for another hug.

"Can't...breathe...mama," she said softly. I released her quickly and poked her nose. She giggled and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, let's go make breakfast," I said getting off the bed and pulling her with me.

"Pancakes?"

"Sure," I said smiling. She started clapping and ran for the kitchen. This weekend was going to be tough on me, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

I felt small tears come to my eyes as I clutched Grace to my chest.

"Bye, mommy!" she said pulling away from me.

"Bye sweetheart. Call me tonight, okay?" I said as I blinked back tears quickly, not wanting her to see them fall.

"I will. I love you," she said as she pulled my face to hers and kissed me.

"I love you, more," I whispered. I stood up and handed her her princess backpack. She slung it over her shoulders and took my mother's hand in hers.

"Have fun, honey, and don't worry yourself to death, okay?" My mother said sweetly.

"Okay, I'll try," I replied in a small voice. They walked out to the car, and my mother buckled Grace into her seat before getting in herself, and driving away. Just before I closed the door, feeling empty and alone, Alice pulled into the driveway. I smiled at her timing and waved her inside. I walked back to the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess Grace and I made from making pancakes.

"Hey, Bells," Alice said brightly. She was carrying a big shopping bag and came to stand next to me.

"Don't 'Hey Bells' me," I said smoothly. "I know you and mom tag teamed me into this."

"Aww, come on! Live a little! You're like an old lady! If I had asked, you would have said no, and hung up on me."

"Yes, I would have. And just so you know, I will go, and I will have a lousy time." I was getting pretty pathetic by this point. You're not 40, remember?

"You're acting ridiculous, Bella. It's going to be a blast. We haven't seen Rose in over a month! It'll be like old times. Please Bella?" I sighed and decided to give in. I would suffer in silence, and not let anyone see it.

"Fine," I groaned. I knew she was right, but I couldn't help but feel bad. I didn't feel like I deserved to go out and have fun. Now that I'm a mother, I felt like I had to leave that in the past. Once Grace was born, everything became all about her, and I was happy about that. Obviously sometimes I missed going out with friends, but what if something happened to Grace while I was gone? I would never be able to live with myself. I sighed again, and decided to try my best to have a good time. Everything was going to be fine, and it would be nice to get away.

"Okay, great! Let's go get you packed," Alice said brightly, as she yanked me down the hall and up the stairs.

"Alice, I can pack for myself you know," I said annoyed.

"Um, no you cannot. Plus, I promised Rose that I would help you. You'd pack sweat pants and baggy t-shirts," she said in a disgusted tone. She walked over to my closet and pulled out my duffel bag. She stood back and examined my closet carefully.

"What's wrong with that? I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, not a cocktail party," I said mocking her.

"A few of Emmett's friends will be there, too, and who knows? You may like one of them!" I stood up angrily.

"This better not be a 'find Bella a man' weekend," I seethed out.

"Oh, please," Alice said rolling her eyes and pulling out a few shirts. "Would you give it up, already? You're allowed to date!"

"Al, I don't want to date." That's not entirely true.

"Yes, you do. You're lonely, and you might meet the love of your life this weekend, so get over it." She was getting annoyed with me now. I groaned and sat back down on the bed feeling defeated. Alice grabbed the bag she had brought with her, and started pulling out new clothes.

"Uh, what's all that?" I said confused.

"New clothes. You desperately needed some cute winter clothes," Alice said as if it were nothing.

"Jeez, now you're shopping for me? This is high school all over again!" I sighed.

"Bella, they're going to look so cute on you! Look at this sweater dress. Wouldn't it go perfect with some leggings and your brown knee high boots?" She held up a long navy blue sweater dress and I couldn't argue. It was pretty cute. "I pretty much bought your entire wardrobe for this weekend, so a thank you should be in order," she said teasingly.

"Alright, thanks," I said in a small voice. This weekend was going to be an eternity in hell, I just knew it.

After a 2 hour car ride out to the beach, we made it to Rosalie's cabin. I hadn't been here in years, and had forgotten how beautiful it was. The trees hovering over it were illuminated in fall colored leaves, and the dark cedar wood of the house smelt so good. There were a few cars that I didn't recognize, and I suddenly felt nervous. The house was set up a ways from the beach, and I could hear music playing from inside the house. It looked warm and inviting. Alice and I made our way inside, duffel bags in hand. The inside smelt even better with pumpkin spice making my mouth water. It was decorated beautifully, and had candles lit in all the rooms I could see.

"MY GIRLS ARE HERE!" Rosalie said as she ran down the staircase and threw her arms around Alice and I. I hugged her as tight as I could, realizing how much I missed her. Ever since she moved to Port Angeles with Emmett, and was in school, we saw her less and less. "I'm so glad you came! But, um, I actually need to talk with you guys alone," she started to say, lowering her voice. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

"Bella! Alice!" Emmett said in his booming voice. He marched over to us and gave hugs.

"Emmett, I need to talk to them," Rose said pushing him away.

"Come on, babe," Emmett protested. "Let them say hi to everyone first." Emmett pulled on me and Alice's arm dragging us out onto the back deck, before Rosalie could protest. She somehow managed to get Alice out of his grasp, but I was already out on the deck. I saw a man and woman that I didn't recognize who smiled over at me. I suddenly felt shy, but returned their smile.

"Bella, this is Mark and his wife Angela," Emmett said.

"Hi," I said quietly. Mark nodded to me and smiled widely.

"It's so great to meet you," Angela said, coming over to shake my hand sweetly. "Rosalie talks about you and your daughter all the time." She is a very pretty woman with long black hair braided down her back. She wore small black framed glasses, and was wearing a tye-dye scarf around her neck.

"That's really sweet," I said.

"Mark and Angela are actually expecting their first kid, soon!" Emmett said proudly. I felt more at ease with this news, for some reason. Like they were more relatable to me, now.

"That's amazing! I'm really happy for you guys," I said grabbing her hand again and patting it.

"Thanks! We're really looking forward to it," Angela said looking over to Mark who was gazing at her. I longed for someone to look at me like that, so it was nice to see them so in love. Angela went to stand next to Mark, and he put his arm around her waste perfectly.

"Where's Edwardo?" Emmett asked looking around him.

"Oh, he went to grab me a beer, here should be right...Oh, here he is!" Mark said. I turned my head and couldn't contain the gasp that left my mouth. He stood just as tall and handsome as I remembered. His eyes were honey warm, and his smile left his face as soon as we made eye contact. I tried to let out a small smile, but I was incapable of moving. He stood there in shock, looking like he wanted to smile at me as well. Flashbacks from years before started to fill my mind, so I shook my head furiously, forcing them to leave.

"Um, Bella?" Emmett said slowly while frowning at my sudden antics. I looked over to him quickly. "This is Edward," he said pointing.

"Yeah, we've met, actually," Edward said in a quiet voice. His voice, so sound, so perfect. You hate him, remember?

"Really? When?" Emmett was shocked, but Mark just kind of smiled. Did he know about me?

"Uh, a long time ago," Edward replied. What, did he not remember when? Did he not want to tell them when? At least he remembers you at all...

"Huh, small world," Emmett said absently. "Get the girl a drink, man!" He said, forcing Edward's eyes off of me. He turned around and walked quickly back inside. I stood frozen in place before Rosalie ran out and took my hand, dragging me inside. I looked towards the kitchen in a rush, and saw auburn hair glowing in candle light. Honey eyes met my chocolate, and I saw his mouth move. I felt dizzy and confused.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed, before he was out of sight. I wanted to go home. I wanted this to be over. I wanted to never see or hear of him again, but there was nothing that I wanted more in that moment, than my Grace.

You left with no word, leaving everything wrong

I grew on my own and without you, became strong

Don't do this to me now

I won't be brought down

I'll stray from your embrace

Keep me with some distant space

Don't tear down my walls

Yet I would catch you, should you fall

Don't dare take my heart, and rip it apart

INTENSE! I hope you're loving it! I cannot believe that I was recommended on twinklings! Such an honour! I realize that that is how some of you came across my story. I'm so glad! ;)

The first peom you saw was from The X-Files, and written by Gillian Anderson. I give all credit to her awesomeness.

The last poem however, is mine written specifically for this story.

Review please!

-S