BPOV

Chapter 6:

4 weeks later...

I don't think I have ever felt time pass more slowly. It was like staring out the window waiting for the sun to rise, and it never coming. It had been a month since I saw Edward. Four whole weeks had passed. I felt like we were destined to one see each other in small increments. We only had one-barely extended-weekend with each other, a total of five days spent together in almost five years. It was infuriating, but neither of us had the time to get away. I had been overwhelmed at the clinic, and then with Grace while Edward was thrown into a mess of work cleaning up all the flooding. Luckily, we did talk on the phone every night, and every so often sent text messages to one another. They were always short and sweet, and when we talked on the phone, we were usually on for hours at a time. He asked me just about everything from my favorite food, color, animal, smell, etc. I felt like he knew me better than anyone, and I couldn't wait to see him, tonight. We were going back to Rosalie's cabin for the weekend, and it was going to be perfect. Rose didn't even ask questions when I asked if I could use it. I knew deep down that her and Alice both knew what was going on, so I was thankful that it didn't have to be said. They even talked me into buying some new jeans, which I did. Thanksgiving had just passes, so I felt like I gained ten pounds, even though my pant size didn't change. I went ahead and did the worst thing I could do, and bought a new bra with matching underwear. Worst thing because Alice always said that when you do that, you go into the situation expecting things. Of course I didn't expect' that we'd have sex, but our last night together would have easily led up to it, given that we weren't in a house with a bunch of other people who we'd have to explain it to. I was ready, but I wasn't sure if he was. Plus, I'd been on birth control since Grace was born, so we didn't have to worry about that. This time. Although, I wasn't going to go any further in that department, until I told him about Grace. It was the right thing to do, and I had to know. I have to know before I get even more attached to him. If that's even possible.

"Hey, Mama?" Gracie said from behind me startling me.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I bring my Hello Kitty coloring book to grandma's?"

"Only on one condition," I said. She tilted her head to the side in the cutest of ways. "You have to color me a new picture for my deck at the office." She smiled widely.

"Okay!" I was glad to see her smile, because she had been in a strange mood since I picked her up from Alice's after work. Quiet, and distant.

"Hey, Gracie," I hedged. She looked up to me with her big brown eyes. "Is everything alright? Did something happen at preschool today?"

"Today was parent apprecia..." she stopped.

"Appreciation?" I finished.

"Yeah, that word. Anyway, all the kids were talking about there mommy and daddy's, and my friend Krystal asked where my daddy was." Oh, no.

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I didn't know. Do you know where he is mommy?" Her eyes were full of wonder masked by hurt. My poor baby. I had to make this right, and soon.
"I'm going to find him, sweetheart, and you will meet him soon. I promise." Could I promise that? God, I hope so.

"Do you think he will like me?" she asked in a small voice. I knelt down in front of her so that we were at perfect eye level.

"He's going to absolutely adore you. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful, and smart, and sweet." I've never been more serious about anything in my life. She is perfect. For a 4 year old, I had to be gentle, and explain things in the most optimistic ways as I could. She didn't deserve to be hurt, or sad.

"Thank you, Mama. Do you think he looks like me?" I giggled.

"You're much prettier, but yes, he will look like you."

"I can't wait to meet him!" She squealed. "Maybe he can come to my birthday party!"

"Grace Lynn, your birthday is still 3 months away, silly. You're already thinking of that?" I laughed and stood up, walking back over to her dresser.

"Yes. I want a Hello Kitty party," she said proudly.
"Okay," I said still laughing. She's so adorable that it hurts.

"When will you be back, Mommy?"

"On Sunday evening."

"That's..." she counted on her fingers. "Two days from now!"

"That's right! Good job, baby."

"Grandma is going to take me to the pastry shop, and we're going to help uncle Billy bake and decorate a cake!"

"That's going to be fun! Will you save me a piece?"

"Of course," she said nodding her head. "It's going to be a Hello Kitty cake!"

"Oh, Gracie." I said as I walked over to her and threw her over my shoulders and tossed her onto the bed. She started to laugh loudly as I tickled her.

"I'm gonna get you!" I said loudly, moving my fingers towards her as she tried to get away. I pinned her down and tickled her until she was breathless, then stopped.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I asked.

"This much!" she said as she stretched her arms as wide as they could go.

"More than that!" I yelled.

"As big as the whole world?" She said amazed.

"As big as the whole universe which is bigger than anything ever," I said in a silly voice.

"Okay, that's a lot, Mommy. I love you that much, too!"

"Good, baby." I kissed her lips and pulled her up off of the bed with me.

As I pulled into my parents' driveway to drop Grace off, it started to flurry. I got Grace and her things out of the car quickly to get her back inside to the warmth. As soon as I stepped foot into the house, Grace ran for my mom. I was very thankful that my parents had such a wonderful relationship with her, though I found it hard to believe that anyone could not love Grace to death. She brightened everyone's day.

"Hey, Mom," I said smiling.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"All her things are in here, including the medicine for her excema." Grace has had excema since she was a baby, nothing severe, just annoying. She got it from me unfortunately. Us pale people always have the most sensitive skin.

"Okay, great. The tube I had ran out last week."

"Grandma, can I go find grandpa?" Gracie asked pleading.

"Say goodbye to your mother first." Gracie turned towards me and ran to leap up into my arms. She squeezed my neck as tight as she could. She knew I was going up to Rosalie's cabin, but she obviously didn't know who I would be going with. Neither did my mother, actually. I was definitely not going to mention anything about Edward until I had told him about our daughter. My parents would be the first to hate him automatically, without even wanting to hear the details. I couldn't exactly blame them, because deep down, they just want what's best for their grandchild, so I knew I would have to execute this properly.

"I love you, mommy." Gracie said into my neck.

"I love you more, baby. Have fun this weekend, okay? And call me all the time." I set her down on the ground, and kissed her mouth.

"I will. I promise. Can I go find grandpa now?"

"Sure," I said laughing. "Go check the den."

"Yay! Grandpa!" She yelled, and was out of sight.

"Thanks for watching her, mom."

"You know we love her being here," she said sweetly. "Have fun this weekend. I'm glad you're getting out again. It seemed to help you."

"How so?" She had me curious. She shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"Oh, it just seemed to make you a little happier. More at ease."

"Huh. Well, I had fun, and I plan to this weekend as well."

"I'm glad. Tell Rosalie and Emmett that we say, hello."

"I will. Thanks mom. I'll call you." I kissed her cheek, and turned to leave. I left the house letting my excitement take over me as I practically sprinted towards my car. I jumped in and started the engine, before pulling out my cell phone to text Edward. I honestly couldn't wait to see him.

Be sure to remember your ways and stay true

Fortunately you seem to know me through and through

Let the snow fall softly, and the holiday's reign in

Breathe in my scent, and speak to me again

EPOV

Driving down the highway with the window cracked and my cigarette lit, I turned the radio down when I heard my cell phone beep.

Leaving now! I'll see you soon... -B

A huge smile met my face as I text her back.

I can't wait. I'll be there in 45. -E

This weekend was going to be even better than the one weeks before, because we were both so anxious to see one another. The past four weeks couldn't have gone any slower, and I had something special planned for this weekend. I took a hit of my menthol cigarette, and blew all the smoke out the window. Now, I seemed to only smoke when I was really stressed, anxious, or really excited. I think right now, I was all three. To me, I felt like I knew everything about the girl who held my heart. I started to run through everything she had told me, just to make sure it was fresh in my mind. All her favorites coursed through me. Favorite color and stone; Peridot. Animal was a cat and horse. Food was Italian and anything to do with steak. Music was anything and everything. I think I was going to meet all her favorites this weekend, except for the animal thing. I laughed at myself. You're insane. Probably.

I made it to Rosalie's cabin quicker than I thought, but I wasn't complaining. I wanted to set up a few things before Bella arrived. I hopped out of my truck and grabbed all the bags I had brought with me. I walked up the stairs and around to the back as Bella told me to do. Snow had already gathered in a nice thin layer on the wood of the deck, making it a bit slippery. I reached above the door frame and found the cabin key. I unlocked the door, and headed inside. It was as dark inside as it was out, and it was only 7 o'clock. I reached for the kitchen light, and switched it on. Illumination! I threw all the bags onto the counter, and started getting out the Apple Cinnamon candles I had purchased. The aroma was mouthwatering. I filled the living room and kitchen with candles, and put one on the head of the staircase. I went over to the fire place, and started loading it with small sticks, and one big log before striking a match. Flames blew up high before dwindling down, creating a nice crackling sound. I made it back to the kitchen, and started the oven set to broil. I whipped out the steaks I brought and all it's delicious ingredients. Thankfully, the cellar was still full of wine, so I grabbed the oldest bottle I could find, and popped it open. I filled two glasses and set them on the counter, going back to finish dinner up. I sighed and glanced out the window when I saw headlights appear. My heart sped up instantly, and my hands felt clammy. My hand instinctively went to the back of my neck and rubbed it soothingly. Breathe. I walked to the front door and unlocked it before stepping outside. The night air made the hair on my arms stand up without my jacket on. Bella started to acsend the stairs before me, and when out eyes met, I noticed the huge smile on her face. I looked her up and down, as I smiled myself. She wore comfy looking jeans, a tick maroon colored sweater covered partially by her winter jacket, no make-up, and her hair was left loose down her back.

"You look absolutely stunning," I said proudly.

"Oh, please! I was in such a rush to get here, that after getting dressed some-what decent, I said, 'fuck it' to the rest," she scoffed. I reached down and took the duffel from her hand, and kissed her cheek respectively.

"You're perfect."

"Edward, I don;t even have make-up on."

"And?" I said wide eyed. "I like you without it."

"Good to know," she said sweetly, as she winked at me. She went inside and I followed her like the lost puppy that I was.

"Edward! This is so beautiful! I don't know what to say!" She walked around the house slowly, the smile never leaving her face. Pride welled up in my chest, and I knew I could relax now, because she like it all.

"I'm glad you like it. It's not too cheesy, right?" My insecurity getting the best of me.

"It's wonderful. I love it. And what's that amazing smell?"

"Steak, potato's, and broccoli. Oh, and some aged delicious white wine."

"Oh, God. Just what I need!" She sighed and walked over to stand in front of me. I felt her breath on my face. She slowly reached her arms up to put around my neck, and pulled me down. "Thank you," she breathed.

"You're welcome. Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, still in our hug.

"For being perfect."

"Oh, you sweet talker!" She said pushing me away playfully.

"It's true!" I argued grabbing her arm and pulling her back towards me.

"Kiss me," she said, puckering her lips up towards me. I laughed and did as told happily. The intended pop-kiss turned to a deeper kiss quickly. I hugged her tighter when she put her hands to my hair.

"Bella," I tried to say between out mouths. She took her mouth off of mine and went to my neck. "I don't want to burn dinner."

"Oh!" She pulled away looking embarrassed.

Come on, you can help." I grabbed her hand and she took it freely, following me into the kitchen.

BPOV

A few hours, and glasses of wine later; I found myself in Edward's arms watching the fire crackle and burn in front of us. I was leaned against his chest comfortably, our breathing at the same pace. Tonight couldn't be more perfect. My belly was full of delicious food, and my nose was surrounded by the best scent in the world. Edward, and Apple Cinnamon. The best combination, If you ask me. It was so nice to be free here with him, just the two of us.

"Bella, do you think after our first night together, that you;d ever see me again?" His voice was quiet and thoughtful.

"To be honest, probably not. I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't want to, but I didn't see how I would ever get to." That wasn't entirely true. I'd spent years hating him, and it shocked me that it barely took 48 hours for me to fall for him. Again.

"Same here. Oh, by the way, my parents will be here next week with Ming."

"That's great! I bet they're dying to see you!" This was fabulous news. Edward's parents would be living here, and his new sister would be, too.

"Yeah, I can't wait for you to meet them." Wait, what?

"You want me to meet them?" I asked turning my head up to look at his.

"Of course I do!" he said as he started to tickle me slightly. I laughed and my heart swelled with an overwhelming feeling that I couldn't quite place.

"Well then I can't wait to meet them."

"Bella, you mean a lot to me. I hope you know that." I looked away from his face feeling particularly open and raw at the moment.

"You mean a lot to me, too." I answered honestly. He reached down and turned my face up towards his.

"I'm not sure if this is going to fast for you, so let me know." I could smell his intoxicating breath and felt almost dizzy from it.

"No, this is perfect. I'm ready for this. I mean, I want this. I want you, Edward." Aren't you forgetting something? "There's something I need to tell you, though," I wasn't able to finish my sentence before he pulled my mouth up to his in the most desperate of ways. I gave in to his need, needing it as badly myself. My mind shut off completely, leaving only my body against his. I realized how close he was to me and how warm his body was. His tongue was the perfect taste, and his hands were the perfect fit to me, no matter where they touched. I let go, and went with why everything happens for a reason.

BPOV

I twisted Bella around to face me, before slowly lying her down onto the white plush carpet. The fire next to us was the perfect background noise as she started to raise my shirt up. I pulled away from her kiss, and lifted my arms up giving her allowance to take it off. I sat back on my knee's and pulled her up. Our eyes locked and unmoving, I reached for the bottom of her sweater and started to slowly lift. Her arms went into the air, and her I peeled the sweater up over her head. Her hair draped below her breasts, now only invisible to the black bra that covered them. She reached for the button of my jeans, and undid it slowly. My mind was gone, but my body was on fire. Much like the one burning next to us. It made everything glow in a whispering orange light. I pulled my pants, and boxers off revealing my naked body. I'd never been insecure about my self until I sat here in comparison to her. She looked me over and smiled deeply. It wasn't a lustful smile, but one filled with love and passion. She reached around her back, and unclasped her bra, sliding it off of her small frame. Her breasts were small, but perfect. Pink nipples bright against her off white skin color. I looked at her in amazement, and she started to pull her own pants, and underwear off. We stood there on our knees facing each other. Her look of wonder matched my own, as I lifted my hand slowly, and cupped her breast. A perfectly small handful. I looked to her eyes and gave a look to make sure this was alright. She smiled and put her hand over mine. She reached her other hand down and felt the hardest part of me. It wasn't in so much of a sexualy way, but more of an intimate way. We were studying each other, learning everything about the other. It felt more erotic than any sex could compare to. I pulled my hand away from her breast and moved her hair from her chest, onto her back. I leaned down and began to kiss her neck. She leaned into my touch started to lean back, until we both lay on the floor. I hovered over her protectively and moved my kissed to her mouth. She took my tongue in hers and moved it with such perfection, you would think she took a class on it. She parted her legs slowly for me to position myself properly. I did so, and before we went any further, I pulled away and looked as far into her eyes as I could.

"I want you to know that you have my heart," I whispered. She smiled sweetly taking my breath away.

"As you have mine," she whispered back. I plunged my face back to hers at her response, and she took me in gladly. The feeling was beyond explaining. She wasn't as tight as I remembered, but I wasn't about to complain. To be honest, it kind of hurt. I was amazed at how much I had forgotten about all of this. We were a perfect fit, like a key to a lock. I moved slowly in and out as she gasped quietly, turning me on even more. She pulled my mouth back to hers with force. I kissed her with everything I owned, and would ever gain. She put her legs up around my back tightly, pulling me in further. I knew my climax wouldn't take long to come at all, but I wanted to take care of her first. Our moving quickened matching our breathing. Speed met with roughness. She pulled her face up to bury into my neck as her gasps grew louder.

"Stay there, but harder," she whispered roughly. Finally some direction. I wanted nothing but to please her. I did as she asked and the feeling couldn't be more amazing. She twisted her hips forcing a groan out of me.

"I'm going to come," she breathed quietly. "Can you with me?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely," I said smiling. She laughed cutely, as we kept moving at the perfect pace. Then, it was as if I were standing at the gates to heaven. The blissful feeling was overwhelming as we both cried out in pleasure, before easing back down to the floor softly. Nothing but the dim fire and out fast breathing filled the room.

"Oh, my God." Was all I could say at that moment.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Wow." I felt like everything that just happened went beyond love. Like making love wasn't strong enough a word. I felt her soul against mine in it's entirety. I never wanted to leave this spot. I never wanted to do anything but this, for the rest of my life. We continued to hold each other before I felt her shiver. I got up awkwardly, and went to the couch to get a fleece blanket and pillow. I walked back over to her, and sat down, putting the blanket over us gently. She positioned the pillow under both our heads, and laid back.

"I'm sleepy," she said cutely.

"So let's sleep, my love." I replied. She put her head on my chest and I rubbed her back soothingly. This had been the best night of my life, and I wanted in to continue on forever.

BPOV

I started to come out of a dreamless sleep. I started to slowly open my eyes, when I realized where I was. Edward's arms draped over my body, and I could hear his steady breathing; in and out. I slowly turned my body to face him trying not to wake his sleeping self. His face was beautiful and peaceful. I continued to stare at him for a long time before I heard my phone vibrate. I got up quickly, but quietly, and went over to my jeans on the floor. My body shivered slightly from being out of our warm blankets. I peeled my cell out of the back pocket, and saw that it was my mother's cell number. Grace. I threw my sweater over my head, and then pulled my jeans on, and went to the kitchen. Thank God for automatic timer set coffee. I poured a cup and added some creamer before slipping on my comfy fuzz shoes. I stepped out the back door, noticing the snow, and dialed my mom's number.

"Mama!" Gracie yelled.

"Good morning baby," I said sleepily.

"It's not morning, silly! It's afternoon!" I peeled the phone from my face to look at the time. 12:00? No way.

"Oh, I guess you're right! How are you?"

"I'm great. Grandma and me are about to leave for uncle Billy's. What kind of cake do you like?"

"Um, white cake."

"Okay, that's the good kind. I can't wait for you to eat it!" Her enthusiasm never failed to put a smile on my face.

""I can't either Gracie. Tomorrow better come soon, because I'm dying for a piece of cake," I said laughing. She giggled sweetly.

"Can I call you tonight and tell you what it looks like?"

"You better!" I teased. "How's your itching?"

"It's better. Grandma put my cream on real good."

"Okay, sweetheart." I heard my mother's voice in the background.
"Oh! Okay, mommy, I have to go! We're leaving, but I love you!"

"Have fun! I love you more, Grace," I said trying not to sound sad. I hated getting off the phone with her. We hung up and I sat in silence drinking my coffee for a while. I stretched my sore legs when my phone started to vibrate again.

"Hey, Al."

"Bella! How's it going? I want all the dirty details," she gushed.

"You're such a teenager," I said jokingly.

"Come on, spill!"

"We had sex." I yanked the phone away from my ear waiting for her screaming to begin. Once it did, I rolled my eyes. "Are you done, now?"

"Yes, sorry. So, how was it?"

"It was...phenomenal. I mean, the connection was...I can't explain it." I felt so weird talking about this outloud.

"I get it, trust me. Well, did you tell him?"

"No," I sighed annoyed.

"Bella."

"I know, I know! I was going to last night, but then he kissed me, and that led to..you know. Anyway, I'm going to tell him today. I have too."

"Okay, promise?"

"Yes, I promise." I have to.

"Good. Call me if it goes badly, and I'll be there in a moments notice, you hear?"

"Thanks, Alice. Love you," I said feeling relieved.

"Love you, too." We hung up, and I decided to go in and wake Edward up.

Don't be afraid of truth

Speak with confidence and Grace

If all goes awry, keep your head held high

EPOV:

The beach was a lot colder than I had anticipated, unfortunately, making my plans a little bit disheveled. At least snow didn't really stick to sand, and I had brought us a blanket. Bella and I had brought a picnic, and spent all afternoon out here together. I was waiting for the sun to set, to give her the ring I had bought her. It wasn't an engagement ring or anything, but more of a recognition of feelings. It was of Irish decent, and I got her favorite colored stone put in the middle of it. Bella and I always have moved at an unusual pace, and we seemed comfortable with that. We didn't speak much of last night, but there wasn't much to be said. I hope she felt the same way I did about it. Perfection. She'd actually been kind of quiet all day, and it got me worried. Was she second guessing us? Did she regret last night? I stayed kind of quiet myself, unsure as to how I should approach her. Women were weird. Some loved to talk, and will get pissed at you if you don't always ask what the fuck is wrong with them, while others are like clams. They keep everything bottled up inside. This was something about Bella that I didn't know yet, so I was at my wits end.

"Edward," she said quietly. She was sitting indian style on the blanket looking out at the moving ocean.

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something, but before I do, I need you to know that I care about you a lot." Fuck, I know where this is going. Her voice started to crack at the end, worrying me even more.

"Are you...breaking up with me?" Did I seriously just ask that like a twelve year old? She turned to look at me and half smiled.

"No. I mean, I'm not, but you might." Huh?

"Talk to me." I stated. "Just let it out." She took in a deep breath, and released it slowly.

"Four years ago, something else happened between us that you don't know about," she started, but looked unable to finish.

"Shit, do you have an STD or something?" I knew she didn't, but I was trying to joke to make the mood a bit less heavy. She laughed quietly.

"No."

"Sorry, I was just trying to make a joke. You're kind of freaking me out over here."

"I'm sorry. I just don't know where to start. I made a mistake with you." She was speaking so fast, it was almost hard to keep up with her. She spoke with her hands, just as quickly. "I should have told you up front, but I was terrified, and I hated you for years, so when I saw you again I didn't know what the hell to do! You have to understand the nature of my situation... as a mother." My brain started to reel as fast as her mouth.

"Um, okay? You're a mom? I mean, that's cool, Bella. It's not like some, unforgiving sin for not telling me. I'm sure you did it with good intentions for your child." I didn't know what else to say, except that I understood her reasoning.

"You don't understand," she breathed. She looked down to her clasped hands and sighed. I thought back to our conversation a few weeks ago and my body completely froze up.

"Wait, I thought you said that I was the only person you'd ever been wi..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I looked out to the ocean not even seeing it. "How old is this kid..."

"She's almost five. Her name is Grace, and she has your hair, and witty sense of humor." Her voice was almost inaudible. I didn't speak. She didn't speak. No, I couldn't speak. I tried to open my mouth, but no words met my tongue. A faceless girl came into my vision; small, pale, mine. I started to shake my head furiously.

"I have a kid? She's almost five? Are you serious?" My voice was rising with each word.

"Yes."

"How could this happen? How could you have been so careless!" I shouted. She turned her head to me quickly, and angrily.

"Careless? I was a fucking kid, Edward! How could you just assume that I was on birth control? If I remember correctly, you weren't whipping out any condoms!" That was true. That night seemed so far away from me, that it was hard to grasp a reason as to why I didn't use protection.

"You're right. That was stupid of me to say," I said quietly. "I just can't believe any of this!"

"Edward, it happened, alright? She is the light of my life. My everything! The reason I am able to breathe right now! I do everything because of her, and when you walked back into my life I though maybe, just maybe, you'd want to have that light in your life as well." This is happening too fast.

"You waited this long to tell me, Bella. You never gave me a chance!" I yelled back, standing up. She stood as well, and we were face to face. The tension between us was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

"You left me, remember? I didn't think you deserved to know! You never got on your facebook, and your picture was of you and some slut!" My mind raced through the online account that I hadn't seen in years. Picture? It clicked.
"That was Juliette! My only friend in a foreign country, and she is a fucking lesbian, Bella! Wait, you found my account, and didn't even try to get a hold of me?" I said shocked. My vision, blurred with anger, was now blurred with hurt as well.
"Edward, you don't even get it! I was a 19 year old girl with no idea what was happening to her, alone, forced to put a complete stop on my life, and there you were with some girl! How would you have felt if you were me?" As angry and stupid as I thought she sounded, she had valid points, and I hated it.

"Bella, five years have gone by. Not six months, not a year, FIVE! You do know that I'll never be able to get those five years back, right?" What the fuck am I supposed to do? I didn't know anything about kids, let alone how to be their father. I would never get the chance to hold her, to feed her her bottle, or take her to her first day of Sunday school. What about that? What about my time, with MY daughter? Bella looked defeated and sat back onto the blanket. We didn't speak for a long time.
"I'm sorry." Sorry?

"Sorry doesn't mean anything, now does it?" I snapped. I could no longer control my emotions. I turned my head back to hers when I heard her sniffle.

"Why are you crying?" I was the one who deserved to cry in this situation.

"Because I don't know what else to do!" she yelled out. "I get it, okay? I fucked up. I'm a fucking liar, and a horrible person, who doesn't deserve you. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Jesus Christ, of course not!" I wanted to go back in time, change my life plans and stay with Bella. Stay with...Grace. "I don't want to hear anything! None of this should even be happening!" I wanted to go away, but my feet felt glued to the wet sand beneath me.

"What do you want from me, Edward?" Everything.

"Nothing. Absolutely, positively, fucking nothing, Bella." Not true. I was loosing myself, unable to force out what I really wanted to say. I looked down to her in shambles.

"I...never meant to...hhhurt you," she sobbed out. Fix her.

"I never said you meant to, but you did. I'm sorry I'm being blunt, but it's true." I felt the orange sun on my neck, and realized I had missed my sunset. Our sunset.

"Don't worry," she began, "Nothing you can say will ever be as harsh as what I am saying to myself." I don't want that! I instantly knelt down in front of her, and took her small cold hands in mine. I had to fix this, but I didn't know how. I didn't know how to even breathe.

"I'm sorry but I cant...I don't know how to do this." I was being honest, but I didn't want it to be true. I had no idea how to be a dad to someone who didn't even know that I existed.

"It isn't for everyone," she said in a small voice. I saw a tear escape her beautiful eye, and quickly wiped it away, instinctively. I felt tears start to swell up in my own eyes.

"You should go," she said plainly as she stood up, breaking free from my hands.

"But," NO! DO SEOMTHING!

"But, nothing. This is it. You don't deserve that light." She was right. How could I deserve any light in my life? I am a coward. Maybe I just needed direction! How does one be a dad and tell the girl he loves, that he'll be there for them! I suddenly felt attached to the world by a ball and chain.

"Bella, please don't end it like this," I begged.

"You don't want to be apart of us, I get it, so get out," she said firmly. Her tone shocked me, making my body heat up again.

"Don't blame me for this."

"I blame myself, Edward, but I'm not going to sit here and let the inevitable drag out." She was right. If this was how she wanted it, so be it. I would go. Coward.

"Fine." I stood to go, but remembered the ring burning a hole through my chest. I reached inside my coat pocket, and laid it on the sand in front of her. My heart was hers, and not mine. It had never been mine. A lonely tear met my cheek as I looked into her sorrowful eyes.

"Goodbye, Bella," I choked. My air was cut off.

"Goodbye, Edward." I turned and ran as fast as I could back to my truck. I didn't care about my clothes or anything else I had left inside that house, except for her. I jumped in and started the engine automatically. I spun the wheel and peeled out with my foot to the floor, pushing as hard as I could. I reached for a cigarette and lit it, breathing in the air my lungs desperately needed. I hit the main road in minutes, my mind far away from me. Nothing but the road in front of me. No visions of Bella, our love, or our time together came to me. Nothing, until the small girl with my hair, Bella's eyes, and a smile that matched both her mother's and my own danced into my wet eyes. It was a distant light. A light that would never be mine.

Leave all the lights of the world in darkness

Strip me bare, left with nothing

Alone in the dark, deserve only pain

Bring me back, I need my heart

Veins dried of blood, eyes left with tears

Search for the light, that lives back in them

Go and search for the light

I hope I didn't break you heart! I promise to update SOON! You know I'm good at that!

Also, I write my chapters until I feel they are complete. I have no set length in them, or the story itself. I try to never have a dull moment, so when I feel that the point and purpose has been said, I end it. I'm not sure how long the story will be, but I can assure you that it will satisfying. The story will end when it needs to end.

All italicized parts to this chapter are poems written by me specifically for this story.

Review please! I love to hear your feedback!

-S