BPOV

Chapter 7:

There's nothing left

No one is here

Can't I have something to grasp?

Why the torture?

Fallen down, away from all light

"Bella? Wake up, sweetie," I heard Alice's voice, but it was far away. I felt like I was underwater. I opened my eyes to see her pretty face.

"Hey," I croaked.

"How are you feeling?"

"Warm."

"Good. It's about time. I can't believe you went and got into the water. You know how cold the ocean is just in the summer, and it's December!" I vaguely remembered my actions, but my body told me it was true.

"I needed something to shock me awake. I couldn't take the pain."

"Right, so give yourself physical pain over emotional pain?" She looked at me like I was a lunatic. Maybe I was, I didn't know.

"Absolutely," I said smirking. My limbs were warm, but frozen stiff. I was thankful to be able to feel the blood pulsing through them strongly.

"Okay," she said slowly. She was sitting next to me on the bed quietly, with a mug in her hand. "Here, drink some hot apple cider."

"Thanks, Al," I said quietly, taking the cup from her hand. I took a sip and nothing had ever tasted so sweet. Not true. "What time is it?"

"Morning." She looked down to her watch. "9:30."

"Wow. How long did I sleep?"

"You were out for almost ten hours after I got you out of the shower."

"Oh. Thanks for that, by the way."

"It's no problem. Rosalie will be here in about a half hour, so get yourself ready to do some serious explaining," she said sternly.

She stood up, and left the room leaving me to my thoughts and aching body. I took another drink of the Cider and set it down on the table. I found it hard to move when I was thinking, so I willed my brain to shut off. I hadn't thought of yesterday's events, and I didn't want to until I had to tell Rose and Al. I got up slowly and dressed in comfy sweats, and a hoodie. I grabbed my slippers for my feet, and threw my hair into a messy pony tail. I didn't care. I noticed my favorite necklace wasn't around my neck, so I went into the bathroom to get it. I felt naked without it. I picked up the thin white gold chain, and put it around my neck, clasping it securely. The small Aquamarine stone shined every so slightly in the light. My daughter's birthstone. Before exiting the room, I glanced out the window to see more snow on the ground. Beauty.

Rosalie showed up on the exact time that Alice had said, and rushed towards me embracing me in the tightest of hugs. I decided then, that it was a good time to get all of my tears out. Her and Alice held me for what seemed like an eternity before I was able to speak.

"Just start from the beginning, babe," Rose said softly. We had our cups of coffee and the fire next to us, so it seemed like a good place to start. I told them everything. Every touch, every look, every word. When I got to the fight on the beach, I had to strain my memory to remember everything clearly. I was in such a dense fog throughout out the entire scenario.

"So, he just took off?" Rose asked. I nodded my head. "Just like that, huh?" I nodded again. "What a pussy." Alice slapped Rosalie's arm. "What? It's true!"

"I know, but I hate that word," Alice said quietly.

"Do you have a better one?" Rosalie inquired.

"Coward?"

"Whatever. Same thing."

"Guys? Can we get back to the topic at hand? What do I do now?" Both girls sighed and looked at me helplessly.

"You move on," Alice said.

"Just like that?" I asked.

"Yep. Just like that."

"Easier said than done, Alice."

"I could kill him for you. Or better yet, frame him!" Rose chimed in.

"Rose, I only need you lawyer skills to know that he couldn't ever just come take her away, right?"

"Hell no! First there would have to be a paternity test, then the fact that he has been gone for five years, regardless of him knowing about Grace or not. He could get visitation, but it would take a long time before he ever got any sort of custody. Plus, I know the system. He won't take her." She was so confident. It helped me calm down a bit.
"I mean, I don't think he would, but I had to ask. I don't even think he wants her, though. Not if he just up and left like that." Those words were a harsh realization that I hated to admit to myself.

"Bella, he was in shock. Here is this guy in his mid-twenties who has always lived his life for himself, and then BAM! All of a sudden he has a child? It had to of been pretty hard for him to grasp. You shouldn't give up hope," Al said soothingly. Maybe she was right, but I couldn't go around living on hope alone, just to have my hopes crushed when he never would come back. I looked down to my hands in defeat.
"What are you thinking?" Alice said quietly.

"I'm just wondering how I could give my heart away so quickly," I said glumly.
"You two seemed to go well at that pace," Rose said quickly. "Everyone is different."
"I feel like I'm in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Destined to only have short amounts of time feeling love from a man," I said laughing.

"You'll find love, again," Alice said laughing from my joke.
"Yeah. Whether it's Edward, or someone else, it'll happen," Rose agreed.

"I don't know if I want it to be Edward. He's left me twice, now."

"You know the first time was different, Isabella," Alice sounded like my mother.

"I know, but still! It hurts. It hurts beyond what I thought it would. And what about poor Grace? What do I tell her, now?"

"You wait for her to bring it up again, and then you tell her the truth," Rose said.

"Rosalie, she's four," Alice replied sharply.
"Kids deserve to know the truth!" She shot back. I didn't know what to do, or where to go.

"I need to move on. I have a job, and a child to raise. My heart is in shambles, but I know that Grace's love is enough for me."

"That's a good way to think, baby," Rose said, touching my arm.

"Are you going to tell you parents?" Alice asked curiously. I hadn't even thought about it, actually. I guess I should, but I knew what they would say.

"They'd be furious, Alice," I replied.

"Not if you go about it the right way. You need to tell them both sides of the story, as best you can." I guess I needed to do that, even though I truly did not want too.

"I will. I mean, it's not right of me to keep it from them, it's just hard to talk about. Especially since all they know is that I got drunk, and had sex."

"You didn't tell them that there was something special about it?" Rose asked shocked.

"Hell no! They already had enough to take in with the fact that I was pregnant, and woke up to him gone." I couldn't quite bring myself to say his name. I'm afraid it would too much.

"That's understandable I guess," Al said sweetly. I looked down to my coffee, and took another sip slowly.

"By the way, Bella; What's this?" Alice said confused. I looked up to her and she was holding the black velvet box in her small hand. The green stone shined at me brightly.

"I don't know exactly. I don't think it's an engagement, ring, if that's what you're asking."

"Well, it's beautiful. He obviously cares about you a lot. It's even your favorite stone!" I had forgotten all about that ring, and wished he was able to give it to me in the way that he wanted to. I looked back down to my cold hands, and felt a few more tears begin to fall.

"Hey," Rose said quietly. I looked up to her with wet eyes. "You're going to be alright, I promise." I knew she was right, It was just hard to fathom.

Can't erase, so I'll take blame

But I can't except that we're estranged

Without you, without you

I am lost, I am vain

I will never be the same

Without you

I made it home Sunday evening, and couldn't wait to see Grace. Her light would illuminate all the darkness that had swelled inside of me. It would help me immensely, because I planned on telling my parents about him. The snow on the ground reminded me that Christmas was in just a few weeks. That got me smiling. I noticed in my absence, that my parents and Gracie and strewn Christmas lights around the house beautifully. I could even hear 'Jingle Bell Rock' as I neared the front door.

"Hello? Anyone home?" I called out closing the door behind me. I kicked my wet shoes off at the door, and started to take off my coat.

"Mommy!" Grace screamed coming around the corner. "You're just in time to help decorate the Christmas tree!"

"Perfect!" I said, as I took her small body into my arms. She was wearing her favorite pair of pajamas, and her reddish hair smelt like lavender. His hair. "I missed you so much," I told her as I squeezed her tight to my chest.

"I missed you way more! Come see what we've done!" She dropped down from my arms, and took my hand leading me into the living room.

"Hey, mom. Hey dad," I said smiling. They were both huddled around the tree, stringing lights.

"Hey baby," Mom said returning my smile. Grace tugged on my hand.

"It looks great in here you guys!" I said enthusiastically.

"Do you really think so, Mama? I helped string the popcorn! Grandma said I did good at it."

"You did wonderful, my love," my mother replied to her.

"Thank you. Mommy we saved you a piece of cake, like I told you!" I had forgotten all about that.

"Great! Let's go get it, then come back and help decorate," I said cheerfully. I already felt ten times better that I did not five minutes ago. Thank God for my family.

Eight o'clock came quickly, and I decided to stay the night at my parents because the snow wasn't letting up. It always made me nervous driving in snow at night. Especially when I had Grace with me. Plus, she was already soundly asleep upstairs. Though dreading it; I decided to take this opportunity to talk to my parents. We were in the living room on the couch with Egg Nog in our hands, and my dad lit a cigar. He even spiked the Nog, which I was extremely thankful for.

"Hey, I need to talk to you guys," I began slowly.

"What is it, Bells?" Dad said lightly.

"I don't even know where to start, so I guess I'll just come out and say it."

"Uh-oh. We've heard this before," Dad said raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm not pregnant, Dad." Thank goodness.

"Well then what is it, sweetheart?" My mother asked curiously.

"Grace's dad." I couldn't say anything else at the moment.

"Yes? What about him?" They said together.

"I found him. Or he found me. I mean, when I went to Rosalie's just after Halloween, he was there." I watched the expressions go from curiosity, to extreme worry and confusion. "He's a new friend of Emmett's, and Emmett didn't know who he was..."

"Did you tell him about Grace?" I was surprised that that was the first question my mother had to ask.

"Not then, no. I got to know him more, and found out why he left so sudden that night. He had an internship in France that he had to take for Civil Engineering, and his plane left immediately. He felt really bad about that night, and even tried to find me." I looked to my dad who was silently smoking his cigar, staring off into space.

"Is his name Edward Cullen?" My mother said nonchalantly.

"How did you know?" I gasped.

"You said that he's a Civil Engineer, and I knew they hired some young guy to do the storm drains, so I just assumed..."

"Oh. Well yeah, that's him." I glanced over to my dad before I spoke again. Thankfully he still looked like he was in his daze. "I love him, mom." Did I really just say that out loud?

"I know you do, baby."

"How?"

"The look on your face, and the look that you've had on your face since that weekend."

"Alright, I'm out of here. I can't stand the mushy talk. Bells, I love you, and your mom will fill me in later. I'm gonna go catch the end of the game." He stood and kissed us both on our head before exiting the room. We giggled at him loudly.

"I'm surprised he isn't super pissed," I said taking a deep breath.

"We knew that he would come into your life sooner or later, Bella." My mother was always so clam about everything, that it made her really easy to talk to. I wish I had told her sooner. I didn't expect this to go so well.

"Well, anyway; I went to the cabin this weekend to be with him, and I told him about Grace." I looked down to my lap, and felt a lump begin to form in my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't budge.

"I'm guessing by that look, that it didn't go well?" She asked quietly.

"He freaked out. He looked so lost, and afraid. He's really mad at me, and he has every right to be."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know. He took off." My mother took a deep breath before she spoke again.

"First of all, no one is at fault here. You both have logical reasons for feeling the way you do. Sure he's afraid! The poor guy just found out that he's a dad, and he didn't even have the nine month pregnancy to prepare himself. But I also know that you're afraid for Grace. I'm proud of you for always putting her first. It wouldn't be right to bring him into her life, when you're not sure if he even wants to be apart of it." She has so much wisdom, it kills me. She should have been a therapist, not an animal surgeon.

"That's what I'm afraid of. What if he doesn't want us?" I said in a small voice.

"Bella, I'm sure he does, he just doesn't know how to want you both, because he's in shock. Give him some time."
"What if I never hear from him again? What do I tell Grace? What do I tell myself?" I was starting to get a little hysterical.

"Shh, baby, calm down." She pulled my head to her chest and soothed me in way that only a mother can do.

"If he doesn't, than he doesn't. The words will come to you when it's time to tell Grace, and you will find strength in yourself, to know that everything will be alright. Everything happens for a reason, Bella." Her words hit me like I was colliding with a mountain.

"Edward believes that, too." I whispered.

"Keep faith baby. Always keep your faith." I cried for a long time, feeling no remorse. What was meant to happen, would happen. I wasn't afraid anymore, and I wanted to move forward. If Edward was to come back, so be it. If he didn't, well that's just fine, too. It hurts like hell, but I'm keeping my faith.

I can't look, I'm so blind

I lost my heart, I lost my mind

Without you, without you

EPOV:

Who knows where the road may lead. I felt like a hitchhiker; no idea for a destination, but desperately wanted to be somewhere. Anywhere. I was driving ten miles under the speed limit to the outskirts of Forks, looking for my parents' new house. They got here almost a week ago, and I'd been so busy with work, that I'm just now getting the time to come out and see the place. And them. I wasn't sure how to act. I was excited about getting to see them, about them living close to me, but I was going to meet Ming. I'm terrified. Why? Probably because she's only ten years old. A child. I have a child. If my parents can be parents, why the fuck couldn't I? I'm such a coward! I haven't been able to think straight for thirteen days. I'd been swamped with more work than I felt like I could handle. Thirteen days since I last saw my heart. My light. My love. I hate myself, and here I am rambling on in my thoughts like a fucking schizo. The address I had been searching for, finally came into view saving myself from myself. I need to be committed. I flicked my cigarette out the window as I drove along the long windy, rocky driveway. It led me to a beautiful house set back into the trees. It was a decent sized house, more room than three people needed, but not overly sized. Floor length windows lined around the entire outline of the home, and I could see Christmas lights twinkling inside. I pulled up next to my father's Volvo and stepped out into the snow. I didn't even make it up the steps to the entrance of the house before the door flew open.

"My baby is here!" My mother called out graciously. She stepped out onto the porch and threw her arms around me. Her familiar scent filled my lungs, as I hugged her tightly.

"Hey, mom." She wore a long sweater like dress, and her hair was pulled back.

"Esme, let the boy breathe!" My father said from behind her. He came up next to us as we pulled apart and put his arms around me for a quick tight, manly hug. He was in his comfy khaki pants, and a button up. It never looked comfortable to me, but I guess wearing scrubs got old.

"Come in, come in!" Mom said excitedly. "Wait until you see the inside, Edward."
"If it looks as good as the outside, I'll be shocked."

"It certainly was a great find," my dad said proudly. We stepped into the foyer, and my mother peeled my coat off, hanging it in the closet behind us. The house smelt like sugar cookies, my favorite.

"Wow." The only word to describe this place was, 'wow.'

"Beautiful isn't it? Of course, I can't take any of the decorating credit, but I did find the place." Dad said fondly.

"For that I am thankful to you, dear," my mother teased. We started to slowly walk around the house with my jaw to the floor. The wood was rare, and old. The drapes of course matched the couches, and the rugs matched the wood color of the coffee and end tables.

"It's perfect for you guys," I said kindly.

"I'm so glad you like it!" My mother squealed. We stood looking in an awkward silence.

"So...where is she?" I asked sheepishly.

"Ming! Come on down and meet your big brother!" My father called. "She's up there drawing."

"She's quite the artist, Edward. You'd be impressed. She's a lot like how you were at that age. Very interested in the things around her. And her english is perfect!" I nodded my head as we heard footsteps on the stairs. She came into the room with the biggest smile on her face. She was stunning. Her light skin contrasting against her long black hair, and dark eyes. She was petite, and thin.

"Hi! I'm Ming," She said enthusiastically.

"Hello, there. I'm Edward," I said happily. Here I thought it would be awkward, but she seemed genuinely excited to be meeting me. That warmed my heart. My mother put her arm over Ming's shoulder lovingly.

"Let's go into the kitchen, shall we? Edward, Ming and I baked your favorite cookies."

"That sounds great," I replied with a smile. This was going to be a great night with my family. A night that I desperately needed.

Hours, and much fuller stomachs later, we were at the kitchen table, rubbing our bellies. I had forgotten how fantastic my mother's cooking was, and she would no doubt put ten pounds on me by the time Christmas came. Which-I suddenly realized-was coming up next week. Ming was very special, and made everyone that came into contact with her, in a good mood. It was refreshing and enlightening. This girl came from nothing, sold by her parents to some disgusting people, and still managed to get out of the situation somewhat unscathed. She even talked about it openly, and was insanely too smart for a ten year old. My parents told the story of how they found her, and it was surprisingly funny. Ming said that from the moment she saw them, she knew she had to be with them. She followed them home from an italian restaurant and knocked on their hotel room door, asking for a place to sleep. It was sincerely touching. It was impossible to be uncomfortable around her. After dinner I helped Ming finish drawing out the house plans, and got to get to know her better. She was obsessed with this cat doll thing called 'Hello Kitty' and was like my mother said, very gifted at drawing. She drew anything and everything she saw. She apparently wanted my help with the dimensions of the house, which I gave to her gladly. She was a very curious little girl, who seemed to be able to read people like she was reading a book. When it came time for her to go to bed, it was bittersweet. My mother helped her get ready for a bath, so I had to say good-bye, promising to be back soon. I didn't want to leave. I hadn't had fun in a while, so I was afraid that when the lights would go out for the night, I would as well. I found myself out on the deck smoking a cigarette while my father sipped his brandy. Snow was falling slowly and silently from the sky above us.

"Well, what did you think?"

"She's phenomenal. I see why you both got so attached to her quickly, because I feel it, too." I answered honestly.

"Right? It's like she has this pull on you, and you can't force it away."

"She's great. I'm really happy that she's now my sister. I always wanted one of those!" I teased. My father laughed, and then got quiet suddenly.

"So, tell me what's bothering you, son."

"Nothing, dad. I'm great," I lied.

"Don't lie to me. You met someone," he said positively. How the hell does he know this shit? "Where did you find her?"

"Well, I found her almost five years ago when I was here for school, before I left for France."

"What's her name?"

"Bella Swan." Her name stung my mouth.

"And you're upset because it didn't work out? I had no idea that you'd been seeing someone this long," he said a bit shocked.

"Well, we kind of shared one night together, then I left for France. We didn't even know each others last names, so that made it practically impossible to find one another, until I moved back here. In October, I met up with her coincidentally at a friends house."

"What aren't you telling me, Edward?" God, could I even say it?

"I messed up. I'm so lost, and I don't know which way to turn. I have a daughter, dad. Her name is Grace; Product of that one night we shared together back when we were practically still kids! I just found out about it almost two weeks ago, and I freaked out. I left her, before I even met her." My threw my head into my hands, and wanted to rip all of my hair out.

"Take a deep breath, alright?" he said docterly. He sat back in the rocker and sighed. "Wow. You're a dad, huh? This is exciting Edward! I'm a grandpa!" I looked over to him and saw him smiling.
"How can you smile? What the fuck am I supposed to do, dad? She's almost five years old, and I have no fucking idea how to be a father!" I sighed heavily, and reached for another cigarette. "Aide-moi papa," I said quietly.

He leaned his elbows onto his knees in front of him, and clasped his hands together. "Edward, I understand that this is a lot to take in, but let me tell you something: no one goes into having kids, knowing how to be a parent. You live and you learn. Everyone makes mistakes, but you just keep on loving them, and do the best you can. You teach them things, protect them, and laugh with them." My dad was helping me a hell of a lot more than I thought he would. My chest eased, and I took a deep breath. "Your mother and I will always be here to help you. I hope you know that. To think that I have a grandchild out there makes me unbelievably happy. I'm trying to contain my excitement. I know you're upset, so forgive me, but I know you're going to do the right thing."

"It's alright dad. I guess I haven't looked at it that way. I don't even now if Bella ever wants to see me again. I left her on the beach, like such an asshole. I was just afraid, and I didn't know what else to do, so running away sounded like a good idea." I shook my head at the realization of my own words. COWARD.

"Edward, ask yourself honestly; What do you want?" I looked over to him curiously. I hadn't even taken the time to think things through. I went into lunatic mode instead of acting like an adult. I know what I want, and I have known all along.

"I want them."

"Then go get them, son." I stood from the rocking chair immediately, and started running for my truck as I called over my shoulder.

"Love you, dad! I'll call you! And thanks!"

"Love you, too!" he called back laughing.

I jumped into my truck excitedly, and started the engine. It was just after seven, as I took my cell out and dialed Bella's number. It went straight to voice-mail twice, so I gave up and dialed Emmett.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, it's Edward," I said breathless. I was driving down the driveway much too quickly, and even managed to whip out another cigarette.

"Edwardo! What's up?" Emmett replied in his loud voice.

"Can I talk to Rosalie?"

"Uh, sure, man..." He said strangely. I heard him call for her over the phone, hurting my ears.

"Hello?" She said scarcely. I hit the main road picking my speed up even more. This was what I wanted, and I was going to get it. The blood pulsing through me had never run so strong.

"Rosalie, It's Edward. I need your help." She took a minute to respond, making me wonder if she hung up. I wouldn't blame her.

"Okay?"

"Look, you may hate me, and I understand why, but I want to make this right. I want...no... I need Bella and Grace in my life. I'll do whatever it takes."

"Alright, what can I do?" She was on board with me, and I was so happy that I felt like I could scream.

"Bring Bella to the cabin. Do whatever you have to do to get her there. Make something up, anything!"

"Okay, I can do that. What about Grace?"

"Not yet. I need to talk to Bella first, and see if she'll even still have me, and allow me to be apart of our daughter's life, after how I've reacted."

"Edward, it's alright. You both handled things in a way that could have been handled better. I knew you'd come around and stop being an asshole." I laughed at her joke. "I can have here there in an hour, is that good?"

"That's perfect. I owe you," I said sighing in relief.

"Damn straight you do!" She teased. We hung up, and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my heart. Time was moving at such an accelerated pace, that I was almost high off of it. I was going to my love. I don't even know how I was able to breathe these past two weeks, because my lungs were taking in air like I was a new life. I was going to meet my daughter, and life had never felt more perfect. They are my reason, they hold my heart.

I won't run, I won't fly

I will never make it by

Without you, without you

I can't rest, I can't fight

All I need is you and I

Chapter 7 is here! I hope you like it! I know you're anxious for these two to come back together, and they will!

In case some of you were wondering, the song lyrics chosen for this chapter are from the song 'Without You' by David Guetta Ft. Usher. I though it fit the mood pretty well ;)

I will be updating as soon as I can, but I start my new job this next week. Hang in there with me. I won't forget about you all!

Your reviews and Favorite Author/Story/Alerts meane the world to me! I love your feedback so keep them coming! I try to reply to all reviews as quick as possible.

Enjoy, and i'll see you next time!

-S