BPOV
Chapter 8:
Confusion was all I had felt for the past hour. Rosalie called me just as I was getting Grace out of her bath, and said that she needed me immediately. I was to go to the cabin, and meet her, while Alice stayed with Grace. It was hard to make out what exactly Rosalie was up, too. I found that extremely frustrating. Thankfully it hadn't started snowing yet, or I wouldn't be going at all. I made the trip quicker than I thought. I pulled into the driveway and gasped when I saw Edward's truck. Was this some kind of trick? Rosalie was coming out of the house, and running towards my car. I sighed heavily and got out.
"Bella! I'm so glad you came," she gushed out.
"What the hell is going on here, Rose?"
"Edward. He wants to see you."
"Why couldn't you just tell me that he was here?"
"Because I wasn't sure if you'd come or not..." she said slowly. She had a point. Part of me desperately wanted to see him again, but the other part was extremely cautious. I wasn't sure how I would handle what he had to tell me. "Take it as a good thing that he is here, babe."
"Alright," I sighed out.
"I'm leaving, but call me if you need anything. I have court tomorrow, but you better let me know how everything goes, okay?" She said sternly.
"I will." I promised.
"Go get him," she said pushing me towards the house with a wink. I walked slowly up the steps and felt snow begin to fall. Why couldn't everything be as quiet as the snow? My mind was in an argument with itself as I opened the front door quietly. I stepped in, and heard nothing. I took my coat off, and rounded the living room corner, and saw Edward on the couch with his face in his hands.
"Edward?" I said in a whisper. His head snapped up and I wanted to melt inside his perfect eye color.
"Bella," he breathed out relieved. Relieved? Was I unaware that I am some kind of monster to be feared? Everyone seemed to act like I was a bitch or something. All I wanted was for this to be over. Over in the sense of him and I working this out, or him leaving. Either way; I couldn't be stuck in this state of confusion anymore. I stood there awkwardly staring at him with no idea of what to say.
"I don't really know what to say..." Good place to start I suppose.
"You don't have to say anything. I am the one with all the explaining that needs to be done. Will you come sit by the fire?" He asked sweetly. I nodded my head and followed him over to what seemed like 'our spot.' We made love here, and all of those emotions started to flow through me quickly. I sat down and crossed my legs. He sat across from me looking purely confused and worried.
"Edward, just spit it out," I said gently. He looked up to me and tried to smile.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I keep making mistakes, but I want you to know that I'm through with making them. I've been afraid and have acted like such a coward. It was a lot for me to take in at that moment, so running away seemed like the easiest way to handle it all. I'm so sorry for leaving you on the beach that day." He was sincere and truly broken up about it. It warmed my insides.
"It's alright. I probably would have reacted the same way, if I were you," I stated truthfully.
"No, you would have been much more mature about it," he shrugged.
"That was then. This is now."
"You're right. I need you both, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."
"You...me...and Grace?" I asked cautiously.
"Yes. That is...if you'll still allow me." I decided not to reply with words, so I leaped for him instead. I threw my arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. Tears met my eyes and I allowed them to flow. I had waited so long for this moment, and now it was finally upon me. He returned my hug gladly it felt like.
"I can't believe all of this," I said sniffling. "I've waited so long. I never thought I would see you again after that night."
"Bella, you know I love you, right? I can't explain anything that is going on right now, but that is one thing I know for absolute sure. And you know what else? I love Grace, too. I've never met her, and she is all I can think about." A sob broke through my body as I clutched myself to him with need.
"I love you, too. And Grace is going to love you as well."
"You really think so?" he asked scarcely.
"I know so, Edward." We hugged for a long time after that with kisses here and there. After a while we decided to make something to eat and try to relax, before we started talking about the details. I was trying not to think too far ahead into the future. Visions of Edward and Grace filled my head; Birthdays, Holiday's, Grace's first day at school, Edward and I getting married...I stopped with that one immediately. I think I would be fine if we never got married. A piece of paper didn't mean much to me, but I wonder if Edward would want Grace to take his last name. I don't think I would be upset about it, because I wanted his name too...
"What're you thinking about over there?" Edward said smiling. He handed me a beer and sat next to me on the couch.
"Nothing and everything...if that makes any sense," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"I know the feeling," Edward laughed.
"I'm just excited. I mean, I want to be."
"You should be. I am."
"Really? Good. Now I can be too." He leaned in and kissed my lips softly, making me dizzy as he pulled away.
"I met Ming," he said quietly as he smiled to himself.
"That's great! Wow. How did it go?"
"Awesome. She's really smart, and a lot like me, actually. I can see why my parents couldn't let her go. She made me think of Grace, too, which prompted me to talk to my dad. If it weren't for him, I don't know if I would have gotten my head out of my ass."
"Same here. My mom really laid it on thick. Parents," I scoffed. "They always know what to say."
"That's what I'm afraid of, Bella. I have no idea how to be a dad. I could never give as good advice to Grace, as my dad does to me," he said sadly. It felt so good to hear him say her name.
"Edward, I feel the same way. You take it day by day, and do the best you can. No one is perfect," I said taking his hand.
"What if she doesn't like me?" His voice was almost inaudible.
"She's going to love you," I stated firmly.
"How do you know?"
"I know because she's your child, and because I love you." He looked into my eyes and smiled widely, before pulling me to his chest. He rested his chin on my head and rubbed my arm.
"Thank you, Bella."
"I'm so glad you're here," I whispered.
"Me too."
EPOV
I woke up to a sleeping Bella on my chest. I couldn't remember when we even fell asleep, but my back was killing me. Rosalie and Emmett need a new couch. I started to get up slowly, trying not to wake Bella. I slid off the couch, smiling because she didn't even seem disturbed. I went to the kitchen and started some coffee, when I remembered what I originally wanted to do this morning, if Bella still wanted me. She does. Thank God for that. I was overwhelmed with everything, but more excited than anything. I went for my coat pocket and took out the ring I had gotten Bella. I wasn't surprised when Rosalie gave it to me, saying that Bella couldn't bare to keep it. I understood, and was glad because now I could give it to her properly. I went back to the finished coffee, and poured two cups before walking back to the living room. Bella looked most beautiful when she slept. Her face was puffy with sleep and her breathing was even. I knelt down next to her and set the mugs on the coffee table softly.
"Bella baby," I said quietly. "Wake up." She stirred and slowly opened her eyes.
"Hmm?" she said groggily.
"I made some coffee."
"Perfect," she replied wiping the sleep from her eyes. She sat up slowly and reached for the hot cup.
"I want to do something that I wish I could have done the first time," I started slowly.
"What's that?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. I pulled the ring out of the small box, and reached for her hand, sliding it on finger. Perfect fit.
"I got this for you and wanted to put it on your finger personally. It's an Irish wedding ring, actually. It can also mean unity, and friendship, which was the original reason I bought it. I had the Peridot put in specifically for you." I looked into her eyes, and saw tears. I wiped one away that tried to escape, and smiled at her.
"It's beautiful Edward. I love it. It's perfect, because now I have something of you and of Grace always on me." She reached into her shirt and pulled out the small necklace that had a tiny March colored birthstone. She leaned down and put her hand on my face as she kissed me passionately. I felt the love she held, bore into me strongly. I relished in the feeling and kissed her back with everything I had.
"I want to know everything about her," I said between our kiss. She pulled away and smiled widely.
"Where do I begin?"
"From the beginning." She took a deep breath and pulled me up to sit next to her. She took another sip of her coffee, and smiled.
"She was born on March 27th weighing 7lbs and 6oz. When she came out, she had dark brown eyes, and black hair!" She laughed at the memory. I tried to picture it all as best I could.
"It wasn't until she was almost 6 months old that she started to get your hair color. She was the best baby. My parents always said that I got it easy, because she never got sick, never wanted a pacifier, and never cried."
"She sounds so perfect," I said smiling.
"She is. She is absolutely amazing, Edward. She's smart like you, too. Unbelievably smart, and witty. She's kind and strong willed. Her favorite thing right now is Hello Kitty. It's pretty adorable."
"When do I get to meet her? I mean, how do we even do this?"
"Well, we do it right. We tell her who you are, and let her go at it with her own pace. I think we should do it before Christmas, because I want you to spend it with us."
"That's only a few days away. I'm nervous," I said in a small voice. I put my hand on my neck and rubbed it tenderly.
"Don't be. She may be a bit hesitant at first, but she's waited a long time to know you, so she's going to be really excited."
"But where do we tell her I've been all this time?"
"Hmm," she said curiously. "I think, for now, we tell her you were gone working. She's only five, so she won't ask much more until she's older."
"And what do we tell her then?"
"The truth. When she's old enough of course."
"Okay, that sounds alright. I think we should go to my parent's house for Christmas eve. My parents are probably beside themselves with excitement. Ming is going to love her."
"Okay, that would be great! And we can do Christmas day with my family."
"Do your parents hate me?"
"No. They have no reason too. It wasn't your fault, Edward. They want Grace to have her dad in her life, just as much as I do."
"We have a lot of time to make up for," I said softly.
"And I can't wait to start making up for it," she replied sweetly. I sat back wondering. What she looked like, felt like, smelt like, and sounded like. I knew the image in my head wouldn't even compare to her once I laid my eyes on her. Excitement surged through me.
"What do you think I should get her for Christmas?"
"Anything Hello Kitty," she laughed. "She's such a girl."
"Okay, that should be easy," I laughed back. "I'll find something that's special and Hello Kitty."
"Perfect, babe."
Today is the day! I was going to meet my daughter. Bella told me to be at her house by 4, and it was already 3. I felt like I had been counting down the minutes since I woke up this morning at 6:30. I had a hard time concentrating on work today, because my mind was racing away from me with thoughts of Grace Lynn. I stepped into a nice pair of jeans, and a button up shirt. I was afraid of overdressing, so I've already changed twice, finally deciding on comfortable casual wear. I reached for the small wrapped gift on my end table and put it into my coat. I wasn't going to let her open it until Christmas, but wanted to give it to her to put under her tree. It was a necklace that had a small Hello Kitty face with little diamonds inside of it. The bow on the cats face, was even laced in pink diamonds. It may be too much for a five year old, but I wanted to get her something she'd love, and something special. Hopefully her mother would only let her wear it on special occasions. Oh boy, what am I getting myself into? I was ecstatic, but nervous. I don't know what little girls like to do! Bella reassured me that she is girly, but also has a nice tom-boy side to her as well. For that; I was thankful.
I found my way to Bella and Grace's small, but nice looking house, and took a gigantic breath. I let the winter hair cool my lungs, and stepped out of my truck. The only thing Bella had told Grace about me coming, is that she had someone for her to meet. She said that Grace sounded excited, so my heart wasn't as constricted. I walked slowly to the front door, my feet feeling like they were made of iron. 'Knock knock' my hand went against their front door. It opened up after only a moment, and when I saw Bella, I suddenly felt at ease.
"Come in," she said nicely as she grabbed my hand. I steeped inside and the smell of cookies and apple cider wafted through the house.
"Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.
"I'm good," I said a bit too shakily. "Where is she?"
"She's upstairs coloring in her room. I'll call her down in a second. Just breathe," she said soothingly. She walked me into the kitchen where I could see that all her baking necessities were out on the counter.
"It smells good in here."
"Thanks. Want some apple cider? It's homemade," she said with a wink.
"Oh, really? Well then I must have some," I said teasingly. She took the lid off of a large crock pot and poured me a glass. If it tasted as good as it smelt, I'd be in heaven.
"Sip slowly. It's really hot," she warned. I did as told, and it was pretty hot, but really good.
"It's delicious," I said.
"Thanks. The recipe was my grandma's."
"Was?"
"Yeah, she died when I was young. You would have like her, though. She was a funny lady."
"I'm sure I would have," I said smiling.
"Do you have any living grandparents?"
"Unfortunately no. My dad was an orphan in and out of foster homes, and my mother's parents died before I was born.
"That's so sad," she said quietly.
"Yeah, but at least I have them."
"That's true," she said smiling. We were learning something new about each other all the time it seemed. I took any and all information that she gave me, and locked it into a fault in my mind. My breathing stopped when I heard movement upstairs. Bella noticed my near panic attack.
"It's okay, my love. Come on, let's go see her." I nodded my head, and followed her up the stairs. I heard kids singing from a small radio as we neared what seemed to be her room. Bella opened the door quietly, and at a small table sat my daughter. She was coloring, and bopping her head to the music while singing along. Her hair was long and matched the color of mine. She has the fairest skin, and she was stunning. The walls were colored brightly and pictures hung on every wall. I hadn't started breathing again since I was in the kitchen, but I felt like my lungs didn't need air when I was looking at her.
"Gracie," her mother said over the music. Grace whipped her head over to look at us, and smiled. Her eyes were identical to Bella's but she had the same shaped head as me. Bella walked over to her and knelt down beside her.
"Grace," Bella began, "I want you to meet Edward."
"Is he your boyfriend, mommy?" She asked curiously. Her voice was like hearing the angels sing.
"Sort of," Bella said laughing. I smiled at both of them. "But you know who else he is?"
"Who?" She said cutely.
"This is your daddy." Grace looked from me to Bella quickly. I didn't know her well enough (yet) so I couldn't make out her facial expression.
"My real daddy?"
"Yes, baby."
"Where did you find him?" I felt somewhat awkward just standing here, so I leaned against the door frame softly, enjoying watching them interact.
"Well, he was away at work for a long time, but now he's back."
"Oh," she said plainly. She looked over to me, and I smiled. Bella nudged her head for me to come closer, so I did hesitantly, never taking my eyes away from Grace. I knelt down in front of her, smelling lavender.
"Hi, Grace," I said nicely.
"Hello," she said cautiously. "Do you like Hello Kitty?"
"I love Hello Kitty," I said trying to sound convincing. I did look up the entire Sanrio collection and it's history before I came over here today, so I felt pretty confident.
"Would you like to color in my Hello Kitty coloring book?"
"Absolutely," I said honestly. I crawled over to the table and sat patiently.
"I'll find you a good page to color," she said sweetly. "You can color Keroppi!" She said excitedly. I looked down to the colorless frog she laid in front of me, and smiled.
"Okay! Would you like to color it with me?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah, and then we can give it to mommy to hang above her work desk!"
"I would love that, sweetheart," Bella said teary eyed.
I sat with Grace for almost an hour, coloring and laughing with her. Bella had gone back downstairs to finish baking, leaving me and my daughter to ourselves. I listened to her tell me all about her school, and her friends. What she liked, and what she hated. I in turn answered any and all questions she had, feeling happy that she was so curious about me. All my insecurities had left me when I realized how sweet and genuine she truly is. I felt a sudden fatherly instinct take over my heart. After dinner, it was time for Grace to go to bed, and I felt heartbroken. I never wanted to leave her side.
"Do I have to mommy?" Grace begged.
"Grace Lynn, it's almost 8:30. It's time for bed." Grace sighed heavily.
"Wait, I have something for you to put under the Christmas tree, Grace," I said remembering her gift. I took it from my coat pocket and handed it to her softly.
"Wow, thank you!" She said excitedly. She ran over to the tree, and placed it perfectly against the other presents with the biggest smile on her face.
"You're welcome." I looked over to Bella smiling and gave her a wink.
"Will you both come tuck me in?" Grace asked in a small voice. Bella looked over to me and I nodded.
"Of course, baby." she answered softly. I followed the girls upstairs, and into Grace's bedroom. She climbed into her bed and snuggled against her Hello Kitty stuffed animal. Bella leaned down and kissed her head. I looked over to the night stand and saw her night light. I turned it on, and smiled when I saw the butterflies dance across the walls. She looked just as beautiful when she was exhausted as she did when she was rested.
"Sleep good," I said sweetly.
"Thank you. Will I see you tomorrow?" I looked to Bella who smiled gently at me.
"Yes," I replied honestly.
"Good," she said sleepily. I turned to walk out of the room and Bella followed.
"Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight daddy." My heart came together from a million pieces at her words. She called me daddy. I choked up as I stepped back into the hallway. Bella grabbed my hand, and led me to a bedroom in the back of the house. Her room was warm and cozy, with a large un-made bed in the center.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked softly.
"I would love too," I replied.
"Isn't she wonderful?" Bella said, as she went to the bed. She undressed herself completely before crawling in.
"She's perfect. Just like you," I said as I stared at her naked body. I couldn't help myself. She giggled and got under the covers quickly. I saw her mouth begin to chatter, so I walked over and started to undress myself. I crawled in beside her and hugged her close to my heart.
"I love you," I breathed into her ear.
"As I love you," she replied confidently. She squeezed my arm that draped across her middle, tightly.
"Make love to me," she whispered. I turned her body to face me, and put my lips to hers. We made love in a new way. We shared a daughter together, and so the love between us felt more powerful than I ever could have imagined. My life was just now beginning. Everything else before tonight, didn't exist. Making love to Bella was a perfect way to start my new life. I couldn't wait to see Grace in the morning, and couldn't wait to start being her dad.
AH! Sorry It has taken so long for an update! I started my new job today, and have forty hours this week, so I'm going to be really busy! I won't forget about you all.
Your comments mean so much! Review!
-S