A/N: So I have decided to continue the story. And I probably will not get the next chapter out until thanksgiving break starts and I might upload two chapters. Depends on how much writing I get done. Also, there will be Caskett in this story, there is actually some Caskett in this chapter. No I will shut up and let you read.

Disclaimer: Come on, we all know I don't own Castle, wish I did though.

31 October 2009

Richard Castle sighed as he said goodbye to his last guest from his Halloween party, making his way to his study with a glass of scotch he sat down in his arm chair. He let out a heavy sigh, thankful that everyone at the party thought he was having a good time, which he did. But Castle couldn't help but think back about when Beckett asked him why he's fascinated with the macabre. Castle wanted to tell her the truth. He opened his mouth ready to tell her the story of how he couldn't protect his little sister, but the words got stuck in his throat, and instead he weaved a fictional story.

Richard Castle was afraid of telling someone outside his family what happened, afraid of seeing the look of disappointment and blame that shone in their eyes. Castle was even more afraid of seeing that look reflected in Beckett's eyes, which was why he lied. He couldn't take it if Beckett said that it was his fault that Abby wasn't here today, although his mind kept telling him that she would never say it was his fault. Even though he felt bad afterwards since he had poked and prodded through her mother's case, not caring that she specifically told him not to. If anyone in the world deserved to know what happened to his sister over twenty years ago it was Detective Kate Beckett.

Castle moved his empty glass of scotch to the side table, and walked over to the bookcase behind his desk. Leaning down to the bottom shelf he found the two photo albums he was looking for, grabbing them he made his way back over to his chair. Castle lovingly caressed the front cover of the photo album on top acting like it was an ancient text that would turn to dust if he handled it roughly.

The first photo album started when Abby was just born and the picture on the cover was of Richard Castle (Rodgers) holding his new baby sister Abby. Castle remembered his mother telling him that he would be a big brother and at first he hated the idea of it, but then once he saw Abby everything changed. A three-year old Richard Rodgers made himself and Abigail Rodgers a promise and a vow that no matter what he would protect her. I broke it, thought Castle trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Richard what are you doing, I thought you went to bed," Martha said coming in with another glass of wine in her hand.

"Hello mother, and I'm just decompressing after everything that's happened," Castle said trying to brush it off and he also didn't want his mother to worry. "It was a…hard case…brought back some memories…"

Castle was trying to hide the photo albums from his mother but she noticed them as soon as he started talking, "You're thinking about her aren't you?"

"Beckett asked me why I became obsessed with the macabre," Castle said not being able to hide something from his mother. "I spun a story instead of telling her the truth, I'm just afraid of her judging me, you know."

"Richard you know that girl will not judge you and you are not giving her enough credit," Martha shock her head slightly at her son, no matter how many times she tried to tell him it wasn't his fault he never believed her. "She could be helpful…well I'm off to bed, goodnight Richard."

"Goodnight mother."

Castle sat in his chair for a few minutes thinking over what his mother had just told him, he knew she was right, that Beckett could help. But the gnawing guilt that erupted in his stomach every time he thought about Abby wouldn't leave him alone. Castle continued pondering what he should do about the situation while flipping through the photo albums and one caught his eye. It was a couple weeks before Abby was taken and before he left for the summer writing program. Abby was standing next to him full out laughing and Rick had his arms crossed glaring at his little sister out of the corner of his eyes, a small pout playing on his lips made the glare not as menacing.

Rick Castle sighed remembering that Abby had just said a flippant remark about him, and as Castle looked at the memory, he knew that Kate would have said something similar to what Abby said. Making his decision Castle went to his bedroom, changed out of his costume and slipped on a pair of jeans and a button up shirt. He went back to the study to grab his jacket and the photo albums.

Castle left a note for Alexis and Martha on the kitchen counter telling them not to worry. He left his loft trying not to second guess his decision as he hailed a cab and told the man Kate Beckett's address.

Kate was glad she had decided to go to Castle's Halloween party. The look on his face while she was untying her coat was priceless, bringing another smile to the detectives face. Kate had now switched out of the outfit she had on for Castle's party and was now dressed in a pair of yoga pants, a tank top and a Columbia sweatshirt. Kate was going to enjoy the rest of her Saturday by reading a good book (more in likely one of Castle's) and a glass of wine.

Kate was just getting settled on the couch, and reading the first couple of sentences of In a Hail of Bullets when there was a knock at her door. Choosing to ignore it, thinking the people on the other side were just trick-or-treaters, Kate went back to her book. The knocking however continued and sighing in frustration she set the book down walked over to the door and opened it prepared to yell at whoever was there. She was not expecting to see the ruggedly handsome, although she would die before she admitted that to anyone, author Richard Castle.

"Castle? What the hell are you doing here?" Kate asked leaning against the door frame.

"I…um…well you see," despite the fact that he had a way with words, Richard Castle was at a loss for them right now, so the only thing he could think of doing was to shove the photo albums towards Beckett. "Here"

"What are these?" She asked turning around and silently inviting him in and sitting down on the coach, Castle sitting on the other end.

"They help explain why I'm obsessed with the macabre," Beckett looked up at him sharply, confusion clear on her face.

"How do pictures explain that?" Beckett did start looking through the pictures as she asked him that.

"I mean they don't really explain, but help a little, I guess," Castle was babbling on and was hoping Beckett would stop him. "I wanted to tell you earlier just I was afraid but you deserve to know what happened."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes."

Beckett left the albums on the coffee table and while she went to get him something to drink, Castle tried to get his thoughts together so he sounded coherent when he told her what happened. Of course nothing was diminishing the guilt that was slowly building in his stomach, but he couldn't concentrate too much on that, when Beckett walked back in with a glass of wine.

"Thanks," he said taking a healthy sip of the dark liquid, trying to find courage to tell her.

"So, whenever you're ready," Beckett said picking up the albums.

Castle loved that Beckett understood his need to take his time, he was also grateful that she was not directly looking at him. He's not sure if he could have told her the story if she was looking at him. Taking a deep breath and another drink of wine he started.

Castle told Beckett everything, starting when he returned home from the writing program. He also explained some background details like how old Abby was and the relationship he shared with his little sister. Some parts were harder to tell than others like when Castle was telling Beckett that he told Abby he would always need her and the part where the police asked him where he was when Abby was taken. Beckett was patient and she never pushed him, she let him tell her what happened at his own speed. Once he was at the part where he found the car keys on the ground by the driver's side, he was having a hard time keeping it together, but he finished the tale.

"The rest of the night is a blur, I really don't remember any of it," Castle said shaking his head slightly and willing the tears not to fall. "Truthfully the next couple of weeks were just a blur, mother had to force me to eat and drink…years later she told me that I almost had to be put in a hospital because I was so dehydrated…But there you go, that's why I became obsessed with the macabre."

"I'm so sorry Rick," Beckett said reaching over and taking his hand in hers. "Did they, I mean…" she trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence.

"No," Castle said immediately knowing what she was asking. "Abby is still classified as missing, they never found out who did it, there wasn't really any evidence. Especially paired with the fact of Abby's personality and how there was no…body. The police didn't have much to go on."

"What do you mean?" Kate asked trying not to push him but wanting to comfort him as well.

"Abby was so much better than mother and I. Abby had compassion, kindness, she was willing to help anyone, I always tell people that she wanted to save the world," Castle had moved closer to Kate while he told her what happened, so now they were right next to each other. "What's really funny is that she wanted to become a lawyer, but she always told people that she wasn't going to be the typical lawyer…I guess the best way to explain it to you was that she wanted to be the kind of lawyer your mother was."

Beckett and Castle continued sitting there with Beckett holding Castle's hand, neither one of them wanted to wreck the peacefulness that had descended around them once Castle started talking about what Abby was like. Beckett was thinking, a million thoughts running through her head. She knew that something had to have happened to Castle for him to be obsessed with murder and why people do what they do. But she wasn't prepared for the truth. Kate felt a small bit of peace in her mind that at least she knew what happened to her mother and one day she would find who did it, but Rick has no idea what happened to his sister. She would hate not knowing.

"She would have like you," Rick whispered out of the blue, pulling Kate from her thoughts.

"What?" she asked still reeling from everything he revealed about himself.

"Abby, she would have loved you," Rick started laughing and Kate was confused about the inside joke he was thinking about. "She would love the fact that you put me in my place all the time."

Kate shared a small laugh with Castle, before she noticed that his face scrunched up a few seconds later, and she knew he was forcing back tears. "Castle, it's ok to cry, I promise I won't think any less of you, and I promise not to tell the boys."

That was Castle's last straw as he started sobbing onto Kate's chest and Kate ran her hand through his hair comforting him the best way she knew how. While Castle cried, Kate's thoughts about Castle and his sister, Abby, were swarming her mind unwilling to release her. Kate was trying to come to terms with what Castle had told her. He had a little sister, Abigail, a sister who was kind, generous and from what Kate was told, wanted to be like her mom. Kate was having a hard time keeping her emotions in check, not wanting to cry in front of Castle. The thought that was repeating in Kate's mind was having someone taken at such a young age and never knowing what happened was horrible.

Castle's sobs subsided after a few minutes and he slowly pulled away from Kate, wiping the remaining tears of his face. "Thank you, I...uh needed that."

"It's no problem, Castle," Kate said putting her hand on his knee. "I mean at least I know what happened to my mo-"

"No, Kate," Castle said interrupting her and making Kate confused. "What happened to your mom was horrible and what happened to Abby was horrible too. But a different kind of pain doesn't mean that there is no pain. You can't compare the situations."

"Yeah, you're right," Kate said looking down, realizing her hand was still on his knee but making no thought to move it.

"Wait, can I get that in writing, Katherine Beckett said I, Richard Castle, am right," Castle said going back to his usual annoying self.

"Shut up," Kate said pushing his shoulder slightly. "You're still a nine year old on a sugar rush."

"There's my Kate Beckett," he said, Kate froze and Castle did too after he saw her face, realizing the meaning that can come from those words. Trying to diffuse the tension Castle reached for the photo albums. "Do you want to look through them?"

"Yeah, sure," Kate said trying to shake off the feeling of actually wanting to be his as the two started to go through pictures of Abby and Castle.

A couple of hours later found the detective and the writer still on the couch fast asleep. Kate was sprawled out on top of Castle and he had his arm wrapped protectively around her waist, the photo album that they had been going through laid forgotten on the floor.