There was a quality to the air. A warmth, though there were warm days in New York, this was not that warmth. This, on the backs of the Pacific wind, was the caress of the sun. She held her heels dangling from her fingers as she scrolled along the tide's edge of the beach. She had gotten off work early, one of the rare occasions that she did. Out there, towards the horizon she stared. An endless ocean and the boundless skies, covered with colours that she had never seen in New York.

She could be happy here.

She truly could. When was the last time she had felt this happy? She realized the answer and brushed it away from her mind as soon as she did. This was not the time to think about that. She had work in the morning, a movie in the works, a hard-to-please boss. Serena Van Der Woodsen, could she be different? Could she be someone else?

Here, across a continent, she had made it. She had escaped, but she left someone behind. This wasn't just my plan, she thought. This was our plan.

The Last Time

Her legs still wrapped around him. His breath slowed. His muscles relaxed. But she held onto him. Still, as he rolled back over her fingers trailed across his chest. She reached over and found the switch that turned off the installation. The snow covered walls turned off And the small lamps that she had placed across the room turned on. Suddenly, it wasn't so cold anymore.

"So really…" Dan asked. "How'd you do all this?"

"Vanessa helped." Serena admitted as she curled up beside him.

"Thank you." He said. "This is the best Christmas present ever."

"Dan…" Serena said as her voice dropped into a silence. "You make me happy. I've never been this happy."

Dan said nothing. He leaned in and kissed her gently.

"I… want… to…" She said in between every little kiss Dan placed on her lips. "be… here… forever…"

Serena got out of her little Porsche Boxster just as the sun had set and the last remaining rays has triumphantly bounced off the reflective painted surface of the car. She headed into the liquor store and took off her aviators as she walked by clerk. She flashed a smile as she had learned to in this city. There were customs here that weren't in New York. Such a world she did not know existed. Not until now.

She picked up the scotch that Marshall had requested. She was in no mood for this party but work is work. She had to go. The last couple of weeks hadn't been the greatest and summer was starting to take its toll on her.

She was too busy to go out most nights and the nights she had off she just really wanted to relax. As a result she had few friends in this town and often found her nights lonely. She had talked to Dan a few times on the phone over the summer but much not more than a few cursory updates on the goings on back in Manhattan.

And on most nights, even the ones when she didn't want to admit it, her bed felt big and cold. And there was still one man on her mind despite the distance. She supposed that she could consider herself lucky that she felt so strongly about some, anyone. That this kind of love exists, but she already knew that.

She had it once, before she screwed it up.

Things She Remembers At Night

She waited by the gate of the two schools. Leaning against the black metal rods she casually posed herself up against it. He emerged from the doors of St. Jude's, as usual, staring down at his spiral notebook, reading something he had previously written in the day, examining, critiquing himself, trying to make sure that his work was as good as it could be.

But his concentration was broken as he glanced up and saw his girlfriend, with the cool spring breeze carrying her hair gently across her face, her angel like appearance, there she stood, waiting for him. He almost tripped on the stairs as he instinctively approached her.

She giggled a little to herself.

As he regained his balance he slowed down in front of her.

"You're supposed to kiss me." She said playful as he grabbed him by his tie and pulled him in.

Their lips locked as Serena wrapped one arm across his neck. Slowly they broke from each other and shared a breath.

"You're gonna have to get good at that." Serena teased. "I want a picture of that eventually."

"So what's the cue?" Dan asked with a sarcastic smile on his face.

"No cue." Serena replied. "Just greet me like that all the time and we'll have no problems."

"I think I can live with that." Dan said as he leaned in and kissed her again.

It was as though his kiss was irresistible; she was always ready to completely give into his embrace.

As Dan broke the kiss he asked: "So what's the plan for today? I mean making out near school is great but it's kinda chilly out here."

"Well, I have a cake tasting to go to before dinner. We could just hang out at my place until then." Serena suggested.

"Cake tasting?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, well. This is gonna be my mom's fourth wedding. She's very specific about what she wants in a ceremony. And that includes the cake." Serena replied.

"Still can't believe your mom is marrying Chuck's dad." Dan remarked.

"I know, did I tell you what he was doing in my shower this morning!" Serena jumped a little at the thought of it again.

"Yes, you did. This morning and at lunch." Dan replied.

"He was smoking in my bathroom. And used my towels for… uggghhhh!" Serena let out.

"I had a good time with you tonight." Serena said as she mustered up the most sincere smile she could at that moment.

"Do you. Wanna come back to my place?" He asked. Smooth. She couldn't help but chuckle a little inside at the proposition. Points for a good effort, she thought. What else could she realistically expect after such a successful date?

"Actually, I'm quite tired. I think we should just call it a night." Serena said.

"You sure?" He asked.

Serena nodded. He reached over and gently kissed her on the cheek. Poor guy, she thought. He did everything right, he had the eyes, the car, the clothes. He was charming and interesting, and polite, and a complete gentlemen. But there was no way he was competing with her memories of those days.

She got out of her car and walked towards the waters. His car did not start up immediately. She could feel his gaze upon her back. Heartbreaker, she had heard that moniker more than once before. She didn't think she was so cruel, but it was times like this that she realized her cruelty wasn't of her own effort but rather of her natural design.

Regardless, she was not without torture herself. Without heartbreak. She sat on the beach and watched the Pacific Ocean as she had often done during that summer; waiting for the sun to rise.

Two Years Later

She laid naked on top of him. Her panties on the floor next to the couch they were on. She was covered only by his shirt that she had been using to sleep in. The sun poured in from the windows of their apartment. It was late afternoon and the sun was starting to set. She realized that they had slept the afternoon away.

Her hands crept gently across his chest to the bandage that covered his wound. There it was, always there, staring at her, reminding her of what almost was. What she could have almost lost. She had grown used to the sight of his blood after learning to change his bandages for him but that doesn't mean it didn't pain her to see it every time. It broke her heart.

Never the less she smiled. After all that had happened, she was thankful that she could still be here. And be his perfect girlfriend. She was far from perfect. She knew that. But for whatever season Dan didn't seem to. How could he not see her as she saw herself, as the world saw her? A directionless screw up with no substance or quality, was he deluding himself? Or did he see in her something that she didn't yet understand? He believed in her, far more than she had ever believed in herself.

This wasn't just my plan, she thought. This was our plan.

She leaned over and placed her hand gently over his bandages. She laid on top of him as he slept. She positioned her mouth to his ear and silently mouthed:

"I'm not leaving without you. We will get out of this place. Together."

A/N: Another one from Serena's perspective. There's a weirdness about writing for a girl, I can only assume certain emotions, I can't actually know. Anyways, I really do hope you guys enjoyed this.