The light struck her at a blinding angle as she crashed through the double doors leading to the balcony. Here she had been before in the summers of her youth, the gardens of her grandmother. Here she had spent countless afternoons meandering in conversations, sometimes with Blair, sometimes with Eric, sometimes with her mother, and sometimes with Cece. Little did she know all of those conversations, about her life, her future, her passions, her fears, her insecurities, her most treasured summer days, her preference of coffee over tea, all this was to say who she'd hope to become. Even before she knew what that was.

Only now as all over her memories converged in her mind and with Dan just a few seconds behind her did she realize how much she feared what she had hoped to become.

"Serena…" Dan said as he emerged out onto the balcony.

The sun had set hours ago and only the floodlight of the balcony illuminated his features. How clearly she could see him now, in the tones of black and white; with startling clarity.

"Serena, I'm sorry." Dan said as he approached her slowly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Dan…" She whispered through her silent tears. "You didn't upset me… I did."

Dan reached out for her hand. He enclosed his fingers around hers transferring his heat to her.

"Serena… talk to me." Dan said as he leaned on the balcony's edge.

"I don't want to do this to you Dan…" Serena said as she revealed her tear soaked face to him. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

She sat beside him not letting go of his hand… she didn't want to… she shouldn't have to… not yet.

"It's a beautiful ring." She said as she looked down at her hand.

"It's yours forever…" Dan said.

"Dan… we've been doing this since high school." Serena said. "Every time I think that I am over you I realize I'm not. I didn't let you move on… and I'm sorry."

"You're telling me this at our engagement dinner?" Dan asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Lily, my Dad, Cece, Jenny, Eric, Blair, Nate, and Chuck are all downstairs."

"I know Dan… I'm so sorry." Serena tried to explain. "But if I marry you, I know I'll get end up hurting you. And I don't want to hurt you…"

"You were my dream once…" Dan said. "Did I ever tell you that?"

Serena's head dropped slightly yet still holding his hand. She wasn't ready yet.

"If I could only explain to you what it is like for me to simply spend time with you." Dan continued calmly. "You think that I want so much of you, so strongly for you to be someone else. You act as though I am not sure of you."

He gripped her hand.

"Serena, I've always been sure of you." Dan said. "Could that I not love you…. I still would chose to."

He stood up and in so standing her up by the will of their connected hands.

"And do you know why I know that we're meant to be together?" Dan asked in a rhetorical tone. "Because I don't take this seriously. You're worried that you are going to drive me away when we're married? I am one hundred percent sure that we will be a boring couple that orders in and watches movies."

Serena let out a smile and a hint of laughter.

"And Serena…" Dan continued. "I can't wait to get there with you."

He leaned in slowly and kissed her as once he once did in their forgotten youth. Not so forgotten. " You asked me to kiss you once… remember that?"

She smiled through her tears and nodded.

"Good, just so you always remember…" Dan said. "You started this thing!"

The light struck the top of her golden hair with the softness of its design. She stood in near the kitchen counter and patiently took her time as she sliced two pieces of Marble cake and placed each piece on their own separate dish paired with a fork. She licked her finger and took the cakes into the living room. She sat down on one end of the couch. Dan retracted his feet to give her space but he could clearly feel the heat of her butt against his shins.

She handed one of the plates to Dan. Without words, Dan took the cake and immediately put it on the coffee table beside him.

"Okay, that's it." Serena said as she snatched the notepad out of his hands leaving him with only the pen. "Eat your cake."

Dan begrudgingly obliged.

"So Jenny's coming to visit tomorrow." Serena said as she reached underneath Dan.

"What why? I thought she hated it out here. Too cold or something." Dan said as he lifted up his butt.

Serena pulled the blanket out from underneath and wrapped it around herself. "She's right about that."

"Is that really necessary?" Dan asked. "Look I got the fireplace working."

"That's great honey." Serena said as she dug into her cake. "I think it's about her new boyfriend."

"Let me guess. She wants me to talk to dad and—" Dan said before Serena cut in.

"And make sure he's polite when she finally introduces him." Serena finished.

"I don't know why this always falls on me. Why can't you do it?" Dan asked.

"Come on Dan, Ian actually seems nice. Frankly he's a step up from the last three guys she's dated. " Serena said.

"Aren't you glad we're passed that." Dan asked.

Serena smiled and put down her plate. She turned and crawled over him. She leaned in slowly and laid a gentle kiss on his lips before collapsing and embracing him. She turned her head and placed it with her ear to his heartbeat staring right into the fireplace.

"It is a nice fire." She murmured.