Hmm so I kind of think I know where I want to go with this whole thing... Here's some Kenny McCormick for you guys! I know it's a little strange and different but I am too I guess HAH. Okay then, onward!
Kenny needs to get out. Out of math class, out of this school, out of his friends' way. Out of his house, out of his town, out of his own head. Out of all of the things that Kenny needs, this one need, escape, has pushed itself unmercifully to the forefront of his brain, and it's banging on the walls of his forehead with all the power it can muster. It's making his head spin, giving him a headache.
"Hey, Red, can I use your Ipod?" Red looks at him and frowns, but nods anyway and hands it over. Swiftly and silently, Kenny whips her headphones through his orange parka, up inside of his hood, and into his ears. He wonders if Red knows that he doesn't ask for her Ipod just because they sit next to each other, but because he thinks she has the best music. Red has one of those classic types of Ipods, the ones that hold a shitfuck-ton of music, and it's filled. She's got everything from Rihanna to Cage the Elephant to Tupac the Beach Boys, and not just one no, Red's Ipod is like the fucking Harvard Library of music selection, she's got quantity and quality. Under his desk, Kenny moves his finger in tiny circles until he finds what he needs. Soon Childish Gambino is filling up his ears and seeping into his brain. He turns it way way up, because if Kenny needs to escape, he can do it with music. He sinks his head onto his desk, and shuts out everything and everyone. Kenny makes his world small. He makes it his, and he feels a little better.
There's a world we can visit if we go outside
We can follow the road
There's a world we can visit if we go outside
No one knows
Kenny thinks about what he would leave behind if he just... left. Would he end up somewhere that people actually needed him? Because right now it's the other way around, and Kenny hates it. He has a job, a dead-end one, but whatever, he has it. Still, he doesn't have a way to get the things he needs. Because he needs too much. He needs more than food and a place to sleep. Kenny needs people. He needs to feel like he's worth something to someone, but not just anyone. Kenny needs love. He needs understanding and happiness. And above all, Kenny needs normalcy. How is he supposed to ever get what he needs, when his life is the way it is. And the truth is, he's scared.
He's scared because he doesn't know when he's allowed to die, if he ever is. What will happen to his immortality if his mother dies? What happens if he has to live forever? Both options terrify him. Kenny knows his parents don't care whether they live or die, that they're gonna keep cooking and ruining their livers and living in the midst of disease and decay. What he isn't sure of is what will happen to him when they die young. With his shitty luck, Kenny gives himself maybe an hour or two to live if the curse is lifted when his mother dies. It's either that, or it's eternity, and he hates both ends of the coin he never wanted to flip. Does he want too much life or too little? Kenny needs an in between, which is something he'll never get. That's why he's so fucking dangerous.
His blonde head swivels on his neck, surveying the damage he knows he's done to the people sitting bored all around him. Kyle, whom he's woken up at 4 in the morning countless times, begging for a ride home with slurred words. Stan, who watches his little sister when he has to make up the difference in the rent check doing something seriously shameless. Bebe, the beautiful girl he's called so many times when he's lonely, and when she comes, he doesn't give a shit about what she needs. Red, who worries about him constantly, but he can't be bothered to open up to her just once. Kenny isn't proud of any of it, and he didn't really know what else to do until he decided to do nothing against, and ask nothing of anyone again. He's hurt so many people trying to find happiness, but hurting people isn't what Kenny ever needed, and he knows that now.
He doesn't even look up when Clyde rushes clumsily inside the room, but he knows that everyone else probably does. Clyde's always late, but Kenny doesn't see the need to scoff at him behind his back. He thinks that people should just mind their own business, because Clyde has a right to be here just as much as any of them. He thinks it's himself that they should scoff at, because in all truthfulness, he doesn't even know why he's here. He thinks that Clyde is just on a different wavelength than most people, a slower one maybe. Kenny's on a different one too, but his is moving at breakneck speed instead. He wishes his life was more like Clyde's, unhurried and comfortable. He wishes he could feel Clyde's kind of scared embarrassed, instead of his kind of scared for your life. Kenny turns his music up even louder than before and decides that all the thinking he's doing right now needs to fucking stop. He turns it up so high that he misses Craig Tucker solving a math equation in his head and writing the answer on the board, and the next thing he knows is that there's crumpled sheet of notebook paper in front of him with Kyle's and Stan's handwriting on it. When he reads the message, the smile seeps into his entire face.
Stan I've got something big planned for everyone tonight can you meet me after school?
Sure dude.
Great. Oh and can you pass this to Kenny and tell him that I REALLY need him for this?