A/N: This is a slightly belated St Paddy's Day fic. All explanations will be given at the bottom. :-D. I'm finally updating!!!

All characters may be a bit OOC in this, but read it as it is intended – as humour!

#74 –Are You Challenging Me?

"Are you challenging me Special Agent Gibbs?" Zee inquired coyly from where she was perched on Tony's desk. The rest of the team was just getting in to find both the coffee-shop proprietoress and the Lead Agent involved in what appeared to be a flirtatious conversation.

"I think I might be Miss Ford," Gibbs responded calmly, winking at her. "Do your worst."

"Oh, I will. Believe me, I will. Hey guys." Zee turned to the rest of the team waving. "There's coffee on all of your desks, and muffins, and lunch. I'll see you all later."

With that, she bounded off, leaving the somewhat confused team behind her.

"What was all that about?" Tony asked Gibbs as he sat down, absently picking up a muffin.

"It's Saint Patrick's Day," Gibbs shrugged casually.

"What's that got to do with anything?" McGee asked, taking a sip of his coffee and Tony took a bite of his muffin. Both simultaneously started spluttering, and to everyone's amazement, Gibbs burst into raucous laughter.

"You're going to have to do better than that Zee!" he called to the absent woman.

"What did she do?" Kate asked, watching the boys with amusement.

"If I'm not mistaken, wasabi sauce in the coffee, and super hot chilli in the muffin."

"Well that's novel," Kate didn't even think as she took a sip of her own coffee and coughed at the bitter taste. "Salt," she gagged out.

Gibbs chuckled. "DiNozzo, you should know better than to trust anything Zee gives you on St Patrick's."

"The date completely slipped my mind boss," Tony admitted sheepishly. "I've been a little distracted lately."

Abby stormed in at that point. "What did you do to my Caff-Pow Gibbs?!"

Gibbs winced slightly, then grinned. "What's the date Abs?"

Abby moaned. "You switched it for decaf didn't you?! Damn you Zee!"

"What has the enigmatic Miss Ford done this time?" Ducky asked as he entered the bullpen.

"She introduced this damned tradition! What did she get you with Gibbs?"

Gibbs held up his coffee mug and attempted to open his fingers. "She put glue on my coffee cup. Solvent would be nice."

Tony was grinning mischievously. "Oh what fun we shall have!"

"Stop plotting until I have full use of my hand, DiNozzo, we are going to take Zee down."

Abby frowned and then gestured to Ducky, and the two of them beat a hasty retreat.

"Would someone please explain what's going on?" Kate asked plaintively as Tony set to work unsticking their boss' fingers from his coffee cup.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Duck?" Abby asked with a grin as they entered the morgue.

"Indeed I believe I am my dear Abigail," Ducky nodded. "Seeing as Anthony and Jethro are teaming up, and doubtless Zee's twin is in her coffee shop conspiring with her, I believe we shall have to form our own team."

Abby paused. "I was just thinking we should team up and make Gibbs and Tony's lives at work hell for today. It's just not nice to switch my Caff-Pow for a decaf!"

Ducky chuckled. "So Abigail, did you have a plan?"

"I may have one of sorts, but it will need fine tuning…"

"Then how about we adjourn to my office for a cup of tea with which to consider your plan?"

Zee danced into her shop, laughing and singing. "When Mr Oogie Boogie says, tehre's trouble close at hand, you'd better pay attention now, cause I'm the Boogie Man! And if you aren't shaking, then there's something very wrong, cause this may be the last time, hear the boogie song! Ah-wo-oh!"

"Wo-oh!" Russ echoed back, knowing it was the best way to deal with his twin.

"Ah-wo-oh!"

"Wo-oh""

"Wo-oh!"

"Wo-oh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man!"

Zee grinned at him. "Success! Tony had completely forgotten the day, and Jethro wasn't up for warning him. The wasabi was a touch of genius dear brother mine!"

"Well, darling sister, it was either assist you, or get struck by your wicked cunning!"

"…Whoever said you wouldn't darling?"

"Get your ass behind this counter Zee. We have planning to do!"

"So how do we get Zee?" Tony asked, pacing back and forwards in the confines of the elevator he and Gibbs had removed themselves to in order to plot.

"I'm working on it," Gibbs replied, leaning against a wall.

"We can't let her defeat us again! Last year was just humiliating! And how in hell's name did she manage to get the director's letter-paper to send us letters declaring we were fired?!"

"It's Zee, she probably explained what she wanted to do, and gave him those damned doe eyes we all fall for."

"…That's probably alarmingly close to what actually happened…"

"How well can you distract Zee?"

"Depends on who else is there… Why, do you have a plan?"

"I may have a plan that will stretch the boundaries of the rules…"

"What rules? Just about anything is acceptable today so long as it's in a highly hilarious manner!"

"…Fair point… Here's what we do…"

Kate and McGee were confused as to what was going on. No-one had given them any hints, and both had had to make trips to the canteen to get what passed for coffee and breakfast, before returning to an empty bullpen with agents glaring at the lift that was stuck between two floors.

"You'd think a federal building would have more than one elevator wouldn't you?" Kate mused idly, as she attempted to complete some paperwork.

"I wonder where Gibbs and Tony are," Tim responded. "It's making me nervous."

"You and me both," the voice of Tom Morrow announced the Director's entrance into the bullpen. "Especially today. I suggest you two start plotting before they come up with something horrific to do to you. Last year, Miss Ford sweet-talked some of my letter-paper out of me and sent Gibbs and Tony letters effectively stating they were fired."

Kate spluttered her coffee. "How did they take that?"

"They marched up to my office and demanded what the hell was going on. I took one look at the letters and asked when my handwriting had become so curly. At which point it was exit stage-right for Gibbs and Tony, and enter stage-left for the scene in the coffee shop. Like I said, get plotting."

"Um…sir?" Tim asked nervously.

"Yes McGee?"

"Are you actually condoning this?"

"Well I can't stop you, so I may as well join you."

None of the three in the bullpen heard the evil cackles of Abby and Ducky as they heard that statement.

Zee had sent Russ out to complete the next part of the plan when Tony walked into the shop, a bright smile on his face and a bouquet of purple roses, which he promptly proffered to her. Zee eyed them suspiciously.

"What's wrong with them?" she asked warily.

"Absolutely nothing dearest one," Tony responded with his most disarming smile. "Why would there be anything wrong with them? Did you accidentally tip chilli into your muffin mix when you were baking them? You might want to take the rest off display before another less genial customer complains."

Zee tried to figure out whether or not Tony actually hadn't remembered what day it was, and decided that he hadn't. "Thank you dear, just let me get a vase to put them in."

"Of course."

Zee disappeared into the back of the shop for five minutes before reappearing with a vase, and carefully putting the roses into them and setting them on a shelf behind the counter.

"Can I get a cup of coffee?" Tony asked, still smiling.

Zee nodded, and resisted her instinct to tamper with the coffee and just gave him a normal one. He kissed her cheek and left the shop. Zee frowned to herself. He couldn't have forgotten. Not after last year. He'd done something, she just couldn't figure out what…

Russ came back in through the back. "It's done. Abby and Ducky will be getting an interesting surprise via the rapid delivery system of frazzled sister."

"Excellent," Zee stated. "I'm sure Tony did something, I'm just not sure what…"

Abby and Ducky were somewhat surprised when they got the call saying that they had a visitor. They were not glad to see Amethyst Ford-Parker stood there looking completely burnt out with her children in hand.

"I don't have anyone else to ask!" she exclaimed. "Zee and Russ can't manage it, please?!"

Ducky and Abby acquiesced, normally the kids were great for them. But apparently, they'd been clued up on what today was because they went out of their way to be difficult. Exchanging a look, and then an evil smile, Ducky and Abby knew exactly how to involve the Director in this mess, heading for his office, with Dylan and Zee in hand.

Tom Morrow hadn't quite realized the full implications of telling Kate and McGee about the rules of today. So, he was somewhat surprised to enter his office to find a very frazzled Cynthia dealing with Dylan and Sophie Ford-Parker.

"Director," she smiled frostily. "Miss Sciuto and Doctor Mallard said you'd agreed to look after the children today. Would you kindly get them out of my office?"

Tom groaned, but acquiesced. While he was the Director of NCIS, his secretary still scared the crap out of him.

"What do you two want to do?" he asked them.

He still remembered their last trip to NCIS – he'd practically had the staff quitting on mass, DiNozzo had ended up married to Abby, Fornell had given up trying to steal the glory, and Gibbs had been playing hide and seek with them. Only McGee had escaped unscathed seeing as he hadn't been there at the time. An evil plan formed in his mind. If he was going to be involved in this, he was going to be involved in this all the way.

"Cynthia, would you kindly get Special Agent McGee up here?"

Tony and Gibbs were feeling rather proud of themselves when they sauntered back into the bullpen. This feeling of satisfaction lasted for about five minutes after they sat down. One: neither of their computers would work. Two: all their pens had gone missing, so they couldn't do the paperwork by hand. Three: attempts to go and fetch more stationary were somewhat hindered by being stuck to their chairs. The solvent made a quick reappearance while Kate and McGee laughed their heads off.

"Agent McGee," Cynthia called. "The Director would like to see you."

McGee nervously went to see the Director.

"It's a bit quiet for the lunchtime rush isn't it?" Zee stated to her brother.

"Just a little," Russ replied. "We haven't had a single customer since Tony came to see you…"

McGee had been stuck with Sophie and Dylan. McGee had been ordered to do whatever they wanted. McGee had been forced to take them to the park. McGee had been approached by three women stating that his children were adorable. McGee had absolutely no skill with children. McGee had no idea how to deal with two malevolent forces of evil masquerading as children. If not for the fact that Tom Morrow was his boss, the Director would now be dead. Eventually, Sophie got drowsy, so McGee carried her back to NCIS and asked Abby to look after her and Dylan, who was also exhausted. The two children curled up together on Abby's futon and fell asleep.

Zee and Russ looked up at the sign that had been hung just out of sight of the windows on the coffee shop. 'Closed for Hygiene Inspection'. Zee was growling low in her throat, while Russ was quietly applauding Gibbs' and Tony's ingenuity.

"You gotta hand it to them Zee," he admitted. "They were pretty damn clever with that one."

"How the hell they got it up without our punters realizing they weren't the hygiene people I will never know! But now I know what that little rat was doing!"

"I hate to point out that that 'little rat' is taller than you."

Zee glared at him, then she smirked evilly. "How do you feel about boats?"

The rest of the day passed with few incidents after Gibbs and Tony got themselves free, and the others freed themselves of young children and a rather ingenious set of handcuffs (somehow Tony had managed to handcuff Kate to her desk with her own handcuffs, in just such a way that she couldn't reach her keys).

Zee danced in about five-thirty singing loudly. "Woah, the sound of rollin' dice, to me is music in the air, 'cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man, although I don't play fair. It's much more fun, I must confess when lives are on the line, not mine, of course, but yours, old boy, now that'd be just fine!"

Tony automatically launched into the next lines. "Release me fast or you will have to answer for this heinous act!"

"Oh, brother, you're something, you put me in a spin!" Zee span around, leaning toward Tony when she came out of it. "You aren't comprehending the position that you're in. It's hopeless, you're finished, you haven't got a prayer! 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie, and you ain't going nowhere!"

"…You don't mean that literally do you Zee?" Tony felt inclined to check.

"Course not. I just like the song. Anyway, I must salute your efforts! And collect my niece and nephew."

"Abby's lab," McGee stated calmly.

"Thank you."

With that Zee danced out. "Hit the road Jack! And don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more! Hit the road Jack! And don't you come back no more!"

"What do you reckon she did when she realized what we'd done?" Tony asked Gibbs.

"What did you do?" Kate asked.

Gibbs and Tony explained.

Gibbs headed home, quite happy to know that he could get in and get to work on his boat. He walked in, hung up his jacket, checked his mail, changed out of his work clothes and headed for the basement. He stopped dead about three steps down. Where his boat should've been, was a toy boat, with a note pinned to it. He went down and picked up the note, recognizing Zee's distinctive script.

'You took part, you brought this on yourself. Drinks at Paddy's, 0730 Gunny. If your not there, I'll take the hint. Your Zee.'

Gibbs saluted her and checked his watch. 0630, he had an hour.

At 0730 the entire team gathered in Paddy, with Zee and Russ, and a round of drinks. Gibbs was relieved to hear that his boat wasn't actually harmed, just carefully dismantled and stored in Russ's own basement.

"I must applaud you all on your efforts today!" Zee announced, lifting her vodka, lemon and lime. "To those who participated."

They all joined the toast.

"Think we beat our cousin and his flatmates?" Russ asked Zee.

"Hell yeah!" Zee nodded. "C'mon. What did they do? He put cheese in his roommate's shampoo, in retaliation his roommate stole his Irn Bru, he then stole his roommate's guitars and hid it in another of their flatmates' room's. Then he and one of their flatmates stole his bed and made it up on the kitchen table.(A/N) And that's only about half of what happened!"

"What was the point of all this?" Kate asked curiously.

"Too Far Day," Russ explained. "Saint Paddy's Day every year. Zee got Gibbs and Tony involved and it just evolved from there."

"Let's try this for too far," Gibbs growled, standing up, and pulling Zee out of her chair.

Zee tipped her head up to him. "What're you going to do Gunny?"

"This."

Gibbs pulled Zee tight to him, dipped his head and brought their lips together in a passionate kiss. They broke apart to catcalls from the team and Russ. Zee leant back slightly.

"Now Special Agent Gibbs, that's not nearly far enough."

"We've lost them," Russ stated decidedly.

A/N: everything that Zee states as happening to and by her cousin is what happened in my flat yesterday. My mates as far as I'm aware are the pioneers of Too Far Day. Hence where this fic comes from. Too Far Day basically has no rules – as Tony states, just about everything is legal as long as it's in a highly hilarious manner. :-D. This fic is written for humour, please take it as such. Oh, and the Oogie Boogie Song belongs either to Tim Burton or Danny Elfman, and I'm not sure who owns the rights to Hit the Road Jack, but it't not me.