Mea Culpa : Argumentum Ad Lapidem.
"Appeal to the stone."
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters.
A/N: I am still trying to learn how the education system works in America so bare with me. If something doesn't add up please pm me so I can correct it! Also italicised sentences are memories being recalled. Just to let you know :)
Santana awoke the next day to a grey sky and the dull light exuding from the untouched snow outside of her window. She rubbed her forehead, trying to decide if last night was a nightmare, she started shivering slightly and wandered into her bedroom, the heat hit her immediately and she luxuriated in it. She peeled off the layers of clothes and climbed beneath the sheets. Santana's back clicked and she felt relief, as at some point whilst she slept she had curled into a ball on the recliner, twisting her spine.
She checked the clock it was 7 a.m. She didn't have to be awake for another hour so she stretched her limbs and quickly fell back into a dreamless sleep.
The alarm sounded and Santana shot out of her bed. She ran a quick shower that was warm at best. Even so she felt the water wash away the haziness of sleep, and felt the clarity of the night before overcome her.
Santana's tears mingled with the water and were swept swiftly away. This process was a cleanser for her; she was washing the memories and the sin away from her mind and soul. She rubbed her eyes furiously and stroked her fingertips through her hair detangling the tendrils.
This morning she didn't even bother to put on makeup, and instead just dried her hair thoroughly. She looked in her refrigerator and found nothing that could be made into breakfast.
She put on her grey hoody, then her black gillet and dark blue jeans. Her thick boots would give her some stability in the treacherous snow; she had to make it to Melissa's on time in order to get to her English Lit class.
Santana grabbed her keys and hesitated at the door. She peered out and there was no sign of Brittany. She threw open the door and found a note haphazardly taped to the handle.
San,
I just want the chance to talk to you. Please. So much has happened and I want to explain. Just if you decide you want to talk call me.
Britt x
Santana didn't want to hear it. She had heard it all before. With that she scrunched the note into a ball and threw it back into her apartment.
She began her treacherous walk to Melissa's place, kicking lumps of snow as she went. The sky looked ready to unload further snow, as if somewhere beyond the darkened clouds each flake was waiting, biding its time until it would fall to the Earth.
She ran the tip of her finger along a snow coated railing, feeling a familiar tingle as she became numb.
"San, I wanna go somewhere where it snows". Brittany's face was flushed from the heat, a light sheen of sweat had formed making her glisten in the bright sun of Lima.
"Britt, unless a miracle happens it will never snow here, unless we move to somewhere where it snows."
Santana looked at her fondly wrapping her arm round her shoulders feeling the stickiness as their skin collided. Brittany stole a quick kiss, smiling lightly as they both looked around to make sure no one was there to witness it.
"Can we go to where it snows?" Brittany asked.
"We can go wherever you want Britt, just as long as it's away from here."
The memory replayed over and over. Santana snatched her hand away as if the snow had scalded her flesh. She moved quickly and soon was at the familiar green door.
"In a minute!" Melissa's voice sounded out as a scuffle broke out from behind the door.
It swung open and to Santana's surprise Melissa's little girl stared up at her shyly.
"Hope, you know you're not supposed to open the door. " Santana said lightly. She had no problem with kids; she just didn't know how to talk to them – especially little kids.
"Mommy!" The little girl squealed.
Melissa appeared then, scooping Hope up into her arms and taking her back into the kitchen. Santana stood awkwardly on the doorstep, stamping the pattern of the sole of her boots into the pristine snow.
She heard Melissa call out to her mom and Hope and closed the door quickly.
"Hey ready to go?" She asked with a smile, producing the keys to her car.
Santana nodded. She didn't have to use words with Melissa. That's what she liked about this friendship, she didn't pry into Santana's life and vice versa – they always stuck to topics of school, homework and work. They didn't ask a single personal detail; Melissa didn't even know that Santana was gay. They had become friends from the first moment that they sat next to each other in their very first lecture. Santana had felt Melissa's demeanour comforting, a nothing will faze me outlook and a take no shit attitude. It was something she admired and envied.
Santana breathed on the glass of the car and drew a sun in the mist. Within 15 minutes they were there, pulling up outside Philadelphia University. She felt a rush every time she saw the building something that she had never felt pulling up to McKinley High School.
They got out of the car and walked in comparative silence. As they neared the room Melissa spoke up.
"Whatsup Lopez? You haven't even said hi today."
"Hi" was all Santana replied with, Melissa just smiled and nodded her head. If Santana wasn't willing to share then Melissa wasn't willing to know.
They settled in their seats and the lecturer took to the front of the room.
"Ok, does everyone have their copies of Dr Faustus?"
The room turned into a sea of bobbing heads, they daren't forget otherwise they would never be able to keep up.
Santana thumbed the pages eagerly until she reached the correct page.
"Ok, so has everyone read up until the scene where Faustus makes the deal with Lucifer via Mephistophillis?"
Again everyone nodded enthusiastically.
"So what is Faustus' downfall in this scene? Is it as simple as good versus evil? Someone being led astray by desire?"
Melissa's hand shot up. When Mr Langford nodded in her direction she began.
"Firstly, I wouldn't say it was necessarily about debate between good and evil, but more the choices we make and what is the worth of your soul."
Santana frowned at the explanation it didn't sound right. To her it was more about freewill and how we make choices without influence. Faustus' downfall being that he is so blinded by his actions that he can't even see that redemption is right there in front of him. It isn't good versus evil, it's about recognising when you're wrong and accounting/ repenting for those misgivings.
If she was being honest though she wasn't sure, to her it was all guess work. She zoned out for the rest of the lecture as a debate began between the other students and the professor. Normally this would've held her interest but now the seal on her memories had been broken she couldn't seem to rein them in.
She began worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and drawing endless circles on her notepad. She didn't even realise the lecture had finished until Melissa hit her with her copy of Faustus. She gathered her belongings lost in thought and swept quickly back to solitude.
Santana wasn't working at the bar that night, so she had done something that she hadn't done since first arriving here.
She knew its exact location, hidden at the back of her cupboard gathering dust and being neglected.
She hesitated, then let her hand fold around the book.