Chapter 8
The next few days were filled with confusion and heartache. I would many times spend free time with Okita, but he always seemed distant. Chizuru never returned to her training. I would sometimes ask Okita about Chizuru and their relationship and he would just smile at me before going back to staring at the sky. He asked me to allow him into my heart, so why wasn't he returning the favor? Now that he was in my heart, he seemed to dig himself deeper and deeper into it, without even saying a word. His presence cast some sort of spell over me that I could not explain. It broke my heart every time he met Chizuru's eyes and they would seem to share their own moment. On a bright spring day I was sitting on my usual rock by the pond. I heard Okita walk toward me, but I didn't glance at him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I shook him off slightly.
"Is something bothering you Akita?" he asked without much surprise in his voice.
"I just need time to think," I replied quietly. I looked at him and he was just staring at me with those caring emerald eyes. He seemed to be seeing through me and into my core. I got up and headed toward my room without a word, attempting to avoid his eyes. Closing the door I almost felt tears in my eyes. What was this man doing to me? Was this how my mother felt when my father looked at her?
I heard coughing from the outside and got up curiously, glancing out the door. Okita was doubled over with his hand over his mouth. I rushed to his side before I even knew what my body was doing. I put my hand on his back and my other hand on his arm gently.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concern dripping from my voice. He stood up and balled his hand into a fist before I could see it and smiled at me.
"Nothing, it's just a cold," he replied. I sighed, feeling foolish until I looked at his hand. Blood was dripping from the cracks of his fingers and I felt my heart tear inside my chest.
"You have the illness…" I said in disbelief. Anger grew within me and I drew my katana, pointing it toward him. "How could you do this to me? You cause me to open myself to you and you're dying? How is that fair?"
"At least you know your secrets are safe with me," he joked. This only made me more frustrated and it wrenched at my heart.
"You can't just force yourself into my heart like that. I knew I should have left before things got this complicated," I growled.
"I don't understand why this is such a big deal," he said crossing his arms.
"My mother died from the illness!" I shouted. Shock was evident across his face like I had slapped him. He let his hands fall to his sides and walked toward me, pushing my katana down.
"Tell me about it," he said gently.
"Why should I?" I spat back.
"Show me the pain I am causing you." I took a deep breath and admitted defeat. I could not resist him when he stared at me in such a manor. I sheathed my katana and sat cross-legged on the ground. Okita followed suit next to me and I stared at my hands in my lap.
"My mother was nothing like my father. She had a kind heart. Once a month my father would allow me to spend the day with her. Many times I just stayed in bed near her and rested while she tended my wounds. I always regretted not being able to do more with her, but my father…I treasured those days and I loved my mother with all my heart. She was my only friend," I explained. "Father adored her. When she was around he wouldn't be so tough on me. That's why he insisted that she stay inside while we trained.
"Mother got the sickness during the summer of my fifteenth year. On our days we would simply rest together or I would brush her hair. The training was usually shortened while Father tended to Mother during the night. When she got much worse Father would not leave her bedside. I was forbidden to enter the room so I watched my mother die from a distance.
"After Mother died, Father remained in mourning for weeks. I was conflicted with myself. I could not determine if I was happy I had a reprieve from the harsh training or sad that I had lost my only friend and my only light in a dark world. Once my father was finished mourning, the training was harder and more painful." Once I was finished there was only silence from both of us.
"Please don't make me go through that pain again," I asked. I looked up at him and he pulled me into his arms.
"I didn't understand. I will not put you through that again. I'm sorry," he said. I knew then I could not stay. I got up and ran out, not caring whether I had permission or not. I stopped in the middle of the road, taking a moment to breathe. This is why I can never get attached to anything. You can't lose anything if you have nothing to lose. I stood up and my eyes grew wide.
"Don't die from this Akita," my father whispered in my ear behind me. I touched the blade protruding from my torso and gasped when it was removed. I fell to my knees and the last sound I heard was a scream. The last sight I had was of my father walking away from me with a grin on his face.
A/N: I know this chapter seemed a little rushed, but there really was no way around it. There's not a good way to fill the space.