November 9, 2022

"And we have 174.2 grams," Kowalski said, reading the LCD on his digital scale in his lab. "MaryRose has nearly doubled her weight since she hatched last week." He lifted MaryRose from the scale and handed her back to Skipper.

Behind them, Private handed Rico a can of sardines—Rico's guess of 177 grams had been closer.

"Is that a good weight, Kowalski?" Skipper asked.

"It falls perfectly within the healthy range for one-week-old Classified penguin chicks. You have nothing to worry about, Skipper." He then whispered in Skipper's earhole, "Heck, MaryRose will probably be as tall as Private before you know it."

"I heard that!" Private objected.

"Well, I don't want her to grow up too fast," Skipper said. "I want her to enjoy every minute of her childhood, and I want to enjoy every minute of her childhood. I think it would also be nice if she had someone around her own age to play with too."

"And how would that work?" Kowalski asked. "The laws of nature and moral boundaries prevent you and Marlene from having children, and no one else around here has kids or is expecting any."

"Not yet, at least."

"I'm afraid I don't follow you."

"I'm giving you boys two weeks to find girlfriends. Browse the nearby zoo websites—Bronx, Maryland, Philadelphia—I'm sure there are some lovely available gals out there. Ideally, you should all be married by Christmas but by Groundhog Day at the very latest."

"Uh, what?" Rico mumbled.

Private just stared.

"Yeah ... that's a pretty tall order, Skipper," Kowalski said.

"Well, you're a pretty tall guy." Skipper looked at the expressions of the three penguins surrounding him. "Married by Easter, then? Flag Day? No?" He was still getting nowhere. He was suddenly becoming just as uneasy as they were. "Eh ... we'll just table this for now, OK?"

"I'll second that," Kowalski said. He, Rico, and Private then waddled away to get ready for morning training.

After they left, Skipper ran a flipper over the soft down feathers on MaryRose's head. She smiled as he did so; she seemed to always smile whenever she and Skipper were together. "Well, MaryRose," he said quietly to her, "it's hard to believe you're a week old already. It feels like you hatched only yesterday, though it also feels like you've been a part of my life forever." He kissed the top of her head. "Happy one-week birthday, sweetie. May your next seven days be even better than your first."

Skipper began to leave Kowalski's lab but stopped when he noticed that Kowalski's scale was still on. As he flicked the switch to turn it off, he said to his daughter, "Good job gaining those 84.6 grams over the past week. I've probably lost about as much feeding you, but between you and me, that was weight I could afford to lose. I'm just glad to know that your development is on track." He smiled. "Heck, with the progress you're making, you'll probably be talking before long."

MaryRose giggled and then held her beak open.

Skipper chuckled. "Hungry again, huh?" He took a deep breath and then began to lose a little more weight before suddenly stopping and swallowing what he had begun to regurgitate back down.

"L-l-l," MaryRose said.

Skipper's beak dropped. "Whoa! I didn't expect you to start talking this soon!"

"L-l-l," MaryRose continued.

Skipper was elated. "I have to share this!" He carried MaryRose out of Kowalski's lab and then quickly climbed the ladder to join his teammates, who were now outside.

There on the iceberg, Kowalski was calling out defense moves as he, Rico, and Private executed them flawlessly. They were so focused on their routine that Rico nearly kicked Skipper by accident when Skipper ran up to them unexpectedly. "Training is canceled, boys! Training is canceled!" he shouted, his tone suggesting joy, not alarm.

The three stopped their routine, but Kowalski was a bit confused. "I thought I was in charge of—"

"MaryRose is trying to say her first word!"

Kowalski smiled. "Ah, precious milestones." He, Rico, and Private then waddled up close to Skipper and MaryRose to witness the moment.

MaryRose still wasn't quite there, however. "L-l-l."

"Come on, MaryRose," Skipper said. "You can do it."

"L-l-lollipop," Private encouraged, smiling at his niece.

"Ludwig van Beethoven," Kowalski suggested.

"Laggafraggalaga," Rico mumbled.

Skipper held a flipper up to quiet the others. "Guys, let her do it on her own."

MaryRose made another attempt. "L-l-l-lemur."

Skipper chuckled at MaryRose's utterance and then hugged her. "Interesting choice, but I love you anyway. I'm proud of you."

But MaryRose had just a little bit more to say. "L-lemur silly."

"Ha-ha!" Skipper grinned and then kissed MaryRose on the cheek. "You are one of us! I wish I had gotten that on video!"

"Well," Kowalski said, "it's more than likely that at least one of the government spy satellites above us has this moment on record, but good luck trying to get a copy of the footage. But anyway, that was just priceless."

"And cute," Private said.

"Yup," Rico agreed.

Skipper smiled. "Thanks, boys. I'm glad I could share this moment."

— § —

Once MaryRose had managed to say her first words, there was no stopping her. Within days, her vocabulary had expanded to include words like "Daddy," "penguin," "feathers," "hungry," and "Strategic Defense Initiative"—Skipper wasn't sure where she had learned that last one, but needless to say he was impressed. Every day she learned a handful of new words from her father, uncles, and surroundings; by the middle of her third week of life, she was able to express herself through short but clear sentences. And every word she spoke brought music to Skipper's earholes and tears to his eyes.

"Let's sing it again, Daddy!" MaryRose said sweetly as she walked beside Skipper through the zoo on Sunday. "Please?"

It would be the fifth time, but Skipper didn't mind a bit. With a simple smile, the two began it again:

"All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun ..."

Skipper lifted MaryRose into his flippers for the big finish: "Pop! goes the weasel."

MaryRose giggled as they finished the song. "I love this song, Daddy."

Skipper smiled. "I do too. But not nearly as much as I love you."

After a few moments, Skipper set MaryRose back down so she could continue walking beside him. She was just too excited about seeing the whole zoo for the first time to be carried around for long. And Skipper was equally excited about showing her the world.

As Skipper and MaryRose turned the corner by Roy's habitat, a blue jay flew by them and landed on a branch in a nearby tree. MaryRose watched it for a moment and then turned to her father. "Daddy, can we go fly into the trees too?"

MaryRose's sweetness and innocence brought another smile to Skipper's face. Sweetness and innocence—he would never consider her naïve. "Oh, sweetie, penguins can't fly."

"We can't?"

Skipper shook his head.

"But I think I can do it." MaryRose outstretched her little flippers and flapped them slowly, getting nowhere but at least looking cute while getting there.

After a few moments, Skipper stopped her by lifting her into his flippers. "You know, you remind me of myself when I was still wet behind the earholes. I thought that I might be able to fly too. I finally tried when I was two months old, and that's the story of the first time I broke my left flipper." He held the spot on her flipper where he had broken his. "Penguins can't fly, MaryRose, but I still think we're the greatest birds of all because of what we can do."

"What's that?"

"We swim. And while there are some other seabirds out there that can go below the surface, no other bird on earth can glide through the water with the grace of a penguin."

MaryRose was amazed. "Really? Let's go swimming, Daddy!"

Skipper chuckled. She was so cute. "I'd love to, but you've got to get a bit older first. Your fluffy little feathers need to become waterproof like mine before I can take you for a swim." MaryRose ran a flipper over the feathers on her body and then reached to feel the ones on Skipper's chest. A thought came to him. "Let's head back home. There's something I have to show you."

— § —

It was almost showtime. "We're on in two minutes, Skipper," Kowalski called down into the HQ from the concrete iceberg. After a weeks-long hiatus, the penguin team was about to perform the first "cute and cuddly" routine in MaryRose's life.

"Prepare to be dazzled, MaryRose," Skipper said. Although the team was going to perform in front of zoo visitors, the show was really for MaryRose's enjoyment. "You're about to see just what a penguin can do." He picked her up and then carried her with him as he ascended the ladder to join his teammates.

When he got outside, Skipper saw Kowalski practicing a lifting move with Private in preparation for the start of the show. Next to them, Rico was stretching in a way that seemed painful if not physically impossible. After setting MaryRose down, Skipper clapped his flippers together to get their attention. "All right, gentlemen, let's get started. Let's make this one extra, extra, extra cute and cuddly for MaryRose and show her all she has to look forward to." Something in Rico's body then made a sound suggesting it had dislocated. "Except for that, whatever in MacArthur's name that was." He gave MaryRose a pat and then waddled over to join the others.

Moments later, the show began when the four adult penguins dropped to their bellies and slid one behind the other to form a circle around MaryRose. After circling her a few times, Skipper led the team into the water from the iceberg's south side. In front of the crowd that had gathered, they began their in-water act by floating on top of the water in a variety of formations both on their backs and on their bellies. The penguins then stood up and defied the laws of physics with their "waddling on water" skills.

After an assortment of dives and porpoising a few laps around the pool, more advanced stunts got under way. First, Rico and Kowalski remained in place and tossed Skipper and Private back and forth to each other, with Skipper and Private high-fiving each other each time they passed in the air. Skipper and Rico then raced against each other like water-skiers, pulled by Private and Kowalski, respectively. Next, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico took turns using Private as a launch pad to do flips and cannonballs into the water.

Throughout the demonstration, MaryRose clapped and cheered. Though the applause from the crowd was louder in comparison, no one was more delighted by the show than she was. And no one was more delighted by MaryRose's delight than Skipper.

As the routine continued, an idea came to Skipper. Without telling the others, he suddenly deviated from the routine as planned and swam on the surface of the water over to the north side of the iceberg, which was out of view of the onlooking crowd. He smiled when MaryRose came over to him. "Do you think you can climb down onto my back?"

MaryRose nodded.

"Then climb aboard the SS Skipper. You may not be able to swim yet, but that doesn't mean you have to miss out on all the fun."

Carefully, MaryRose climbed down from the iceberg onto Skipper's back. "Now hold on tight to my neck, OK?" he said. "Use both flippers."

Once MaryRose had a firm hold on him, Skipper began to paddle away from the iceberg slowly. As he rounded it to come into view of the spectators, a collective "Aww!" could be heard from the crowd as it was overwhelmed with cuteness.

The other penguins thought it was cute as well. "That is just so adorable, Skipper!" Private said. "It's a penguin-back ride."

The others then swam on top of the water and formed a line behind Skipper as if they were cars on a train. From the position of the caboose, Kowalski called out, "All aboard the South Polar Express!" The impromptu train then chugged two laps around the pool before Skipper and Kowalski changed positions so father and daughter could have a turn at the end.

After several more minutes of adorableness, the others separated, and Skipper returned to the side of the iceberg. "Wasn't that fun, MaryRose?" he asked. By now, all the spectators had moved on to other habitats.

"I loved it! I loved it!" MaryRose cheered as she began to climb back onto the iceberg. But climbing down onto Skipper had been far easier than trying to climb back up, and suddenly she found herself falling.

"Daddy!"

"MaryRose!"

Skipper quickly reached in the direction MaryRose had fallen, but she had already sunk too deep to be seen. Without even stopping to take a full breath, he dived into the water and scanned left and right, searching for his helpless daughter.

After seeing what happened, the other penguins immediately dived beneath the surface and swam over to join the search. But when they reached where Skipper was, they saw that he already had MaryRose in one flipper and was using his other to rush her to the surface.

MaryRose was completely limp and thoroughly soaked when Skipper placed her on her back on top of the iceberg. The others were there a second later. A flood of unsettling thoughts raced through Skipper's mind as he touched his unresponsive daughter, but he knew he had to focus his full attention on action and not fear.

She wasn't breathing and had no pulse, so Skipper gave her two breaths of air before beginning to perform chest compressions. He was so afraid of hurting her; he had never imagined having to do CPR on someone so small.

Fortunately, he wouldn't have to much longer.

With a gush of water from her mouth, MaryRose weakly opened her eyes and began to cough. "Daddy," she coughed, "Daddy, I love—" She couldn't finish her sentence as her coughing became too strong and she started to shiver.

"Don't try to talk, sweetie," Skipper said as he picked her up. "I'm here, and everything's going to be OK." She then vomited a little on his feathers, but Skipper didn't care. "Let's get you warmed up."

The penguins returned to the HQ, where Rico was quick to regurgitate a towel, which Skipper used to dry MaryRose of the cold water that had saturated her down. Skipper then held her while Kowalski used a hairdryer to dry away the dampness that remained. Once dry, Skipper wrapped her in a blanket and held her close.

"You feeling warmer now, sweetie?" he asked.

MaryRose nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm glad to hear that. Uncle Private's making you a nice fish stew, so you should be feeling even better in a few minutes. The pieces are small enough that you should be able to swallow them on your own. If you can't, I'll help you as always."

MaryRose let out a cute little sneeze. Skipper reached for a tissue and folded it for MaryRose to blow her nostrils just before she sneezed again. "I'm sorry, MaryRose," he said as he held the tissue for her as she blew. "I put you in danger, and that was a stupid thing for me to have done. I should never have let you anywhere near the water. I failed you."

At less than three weeks old, MaryRose naturally had a very limited understanding of the world around her. But she knew that her father wasn't a failure. "No, you saved me," she said as she shook her little head from side to side.

"I know I did, sweetie, but I was still responsible for—"

"It won't happen next time."

"What won't happen next time?"

"I won't fall in."

Skipper thought about what MaryRose had said for a moment. "You mean you want to go back near the water? Even after what happened?"

MaryRose nodded.

Skipper sighed. "MaryRose, sweetie, I am very proud of you for not letting what happened fill you up with fear. But I don't think there's going to be a next time until you're old enough to swim." He hugged her tightly. "I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my life that I wish I could forget, but the sight of you wet and unresponsive is the one that will haunt me the most. You've been a part of my life for such a short time, but you're the most important part of it. I can't think of anything worse than being without you."

Skipper folded the tissue, which he was still holding, to a clean section and then dabbed it under his eyes. Private then called out from the kitchen that the stew was ready.