December 4, 2022
It was Alice's second-favorite time of day.
"Ah, lunch," she said to herself as she sat down alone in the zoo's office. She removed the Subway sandwich she had purchased nearby from its wrapping and looked it over. "No kids. No tourists asking me where the bathrooms are. No ... penguins. No one here but you, you delicious nine-dollar footlong. Of course, I do remember when you used to cost just five dollars—curse you, inflation."
She was about to take a bite when there was a knock at the door. She groaned. "Go away, we don't want any."
"What was that?" the man outside asked.
Alice sighed. "Nothing. I'll be right there." She set her sandwich down and then opened the door. "Can I help you?"
"Dr. Roland DeGrego from the Maryland Zoo," the man said, offering Alice his hand. "Your colleague said you'd be in here—I hope I'm not interrupting anything important. I just drove up from Baltimore, and I was hoping I might be able to see how our little penguin chick is doing."
"Well, she's certainly the best behaved of the five," Alice said. She let go of Roland's hand. "Listen, I'm officially on break right now, but if you don't mind me eating a sandwich, I'll show you to the penguin habitat, and I'll try to answer any questions you may have."
Roland smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate that."
After grabbing her sandwich, Alice walked with Roland to the penguin habitat. There they found Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and MaryRose standing on the iceberg together, MaryRose not far from her father's side. Roland looked at the two and around the habitat for about a minute before pulling out a camera. "Fifty-six megapixels in this one," he said as he began to shoot photos of Skipper and MaryRose. "My, how technology has changed. I used to shoot film as a kid."
After Roland had taken close to thirty pictures of Skipper and MaryRose and none of him or Rico, Kowalski turned to his leader. "What are Rico and I, chopped liver? Do you know this guy or something?"
"I can't say that I do," Skipper replied. "He's probably just a harmless shutterbug who awws over baby penguins like any other human, though I suppose you can never be too safe these days, especially with kids. All right, back inside the HQ, everyone."
Skipper, MaryRose, and Rico then went back into the base through the fish bowl entrance. The fact that they were now disappearing did not arouse Alice's suspicions—or at least not as much as it used to—because a second level had been added to the penguin habitat in 2017. Or at least she thought it had been added. She didn't know that the penguins had actually, in order to preserve the secrecy of their HQ, built another duplicate zoo in Central Park to be worked on instead. And neither did Gus.
Though Skipper had ordered everyone inside, Kowalski decided to remain standing on the iceberg by himself, hoping that with the others gone the man might finally take some photos of him. But instead of engaging in photographic pursuits, Roland quickly became involved in a conversation with Alice.
"So, what do you think?" Alice asked as Roland put the lens cap back on his camera.
"She looks great," Roland replied. "She's growing well and seems to be in excellent health. She seems to have been accepted well by the flock and has a strong bond with the male she was with." He paused for a moment. "But I do find it a bit strange that her father is nowhere to be seen."
Alice took a bite of her sandwich. "What do you mean? The flat-headed troublemaker is her father."
"No, he isn't. I know which penguin I worked on, and it wasn't him."
Alice nearly choked on her sandwich but was able to recover after a few coughs. "But he's the one I gave the egg to. Short and fat, just like you said. 'Spare tire,' remember?"
Just then, Roland saw Private, who had been inside the HQ for the entire time Roland had been there so far, come up to the iceberg to get a snack from the fish bowl and then go back inside. "That one was my guy," he said as he pointed at where Private had gone. "It seems you made a mistake, Alice."
"Well, you gave me a poor description! This is your fault for not coming up from Baltimore and bringing the egg here yourself!"
"No need to raise your voice, ma'am; what's done is done. The situation may be a little strange, but the chick is alive and well, and as a vet, that's the most important thing to me. Her adoptive parent is terrific, so I have no concerns about the little one's future. It's not like her real father will ever find out anyway."
Inside the penguin habitat, Kowalski stared at Roland and Alice in shock. Had he gone back inside the HQ with the others, he would never have learned of this startling mix-up. Now an enormous weight was on him, and he didn't know what to do or whom to believe.
"I guess you're right, Roland," Alice said. She paused for a moment and massaged her fingers nervously. "So, do you think we can keep this little mistake between us? I've never been promoted, but I've also never been fired."
"Promise to take extra special care of her and keep me updated on her development, and I think I can agree."
The deal was simple and required only minimal extra effort. Alice nodded. "You have my word."
As the conversation between Alice and Roland began to move on to other subjects, Kowalski decided to return to the HQ so the others wouldn't begin to wonder what was keeping him. But to his surprise, he was completely unnoticed when he descended the ladder back into the base because the others were gathered around the TV engrossed in some old penguin cartoon. Kowalski welcomed their distraction as he hadn't yet decided how best to proceed. It gave him more time to think.
Standing motionless so as not to draw any attention to himself, Kowalski looked at MaryRose all cuddled up with Skipper on the floor across the room. "How can it be that they have no deoxyribonucleic acid in common?" he thought to himself. "That vet doesn't know what he's talking about. If Skipper isn't MaryRose's father, carbon isn't an element. And I'm going to prove it."
Determined to establish that Skipper was MaryRose's father beyond a shadow of a doubt, Kowalski silently made his way into the penguins' bathroom to collect the toothbrushes—or beakbrushes, as they called them—of Skipper, Private, and MaryRose for DNA extraction. Once collected, he carried the items into his lab carefully so as not to cause cross-contamination. Acting in a way that could best be described as a cross between a scientist and Maury Povich, he began to think of how he was going to create a paternity test using only the equipment and materials in his lab.
It took four long hours and a small slice of Jiggles that he had been saving since the last decade for Kowalski to come up with an accurate method; it took four short seconds to analyze the results once the tests had been performed. Kowalski sighed. "I guess it's time to revise the periodic table."
"What to do? What to do?" he thought to himself as he began to weigh options. There were really only two. The first was to remain silent about Private's being MaryRose's father and allow Skipper to continue his beautiful relationship with the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. But it would be a lie. The second was to tell Skipper and Private what he had learned, throwing both their lives into disarray, perhaps forever. But it would be the truth.
He ultimately concluded that both Skipper and Private had a right to know. The truth was the right thing, even if it tasted bitter and shot unsuspecting victims through the heart.
After mentally preparing himself for what he had to do, Kowalski opened the door of his lab. After clearing his throat, he called over to his leader, "Hey, Skipper, could you join me in the lab for a moment? I need to tell you something."
Skipper looked across the room to see Kowalski standing by the door. It had been hours since they had last seen each other. "So that's where you've been all this time. I didn't see you come in." He stood up and lifted MaryRose into his flippers and then began to waddle over to Kowalski.
Kowalski held a flipper up as they approached the doorway. "Leave MaryRose with Private and Rico—what I have to tell you is classified."
Skipper rolled his eyes. "She's a month old, Kowalski. She's not going to tell anyone."
Kowalski just looked at Skipper with a serious expression. He didn't have to speak another word for Skipper to know that something difficult would be the topic of conversation. Appreciative, Skipper set MaryRose down and told her to rejoin Private and Rico in front of the TV before he entered the lab with Kowalski alone.
"Who died?" Skipper asked, judging by the sadness that Kowalski had written all over his face.
"It's not that, but it's not good, sir," Kowalski began as he collected his thoughts one final time. "Earlier today, after everyone else had left and I stayed behind on the iceberg, I overheard Alice and the man she was with talking about you and MaryRose. He wasn't a regular visitor or a photographer but rather the veterinarian from the Maryland Zoo responsible for MaryRose's existence. He told her something that I found too shocking to believe, so I decided to use science to find out the truth for myself. Unfortunately, the vet was right." Kowalski wrapped his flippers around his leader, knowing the next words he spoke would be the hardest both to deliver and to receive. "Alice made a serious mistake when she gave you MaryRose's egg back in September," he continued, barely holding back his own tears. "I can't believe I have to tell you this, but you're not her father. Private is."
Had he not been a scientist and known better, Kowalski would have sworn Skipper's heart had just split in two.
"No! No, it's not true!" Skipper cried as he collapsed against Kowalski, as if begging with all his heart would somehow change the DNA results. "She's my whole life, Kowalski! I love her so much!"
Kowalski held on to Skipper tighter. "I'm so, so sorry, Skipper. I hate myself for having to tell you, but I felt that it was the right thing to do. I'm here for you as long as you need me. It'll be OK."
"No, Kowalski. Nothing will ever be OK. Not when I know the happiest moments of my life belonged to someone else."
"They're still your moments, Skipper. Nothing can ever take them away."
"But I want her! I want the reason those moments are so special. I want my daughter." He let go of Kowalski and dropped to the floor and crawled on it slowly until he came to the wall. He then curled up facing it and let the tears flow freely. "I want my daughter. I love my daughter. I love you, MaryRose," he whispered as he cried through each word. "I want my daughter. I love my daughter. I love you, MaryRose." He repeated his painful words again. And again. And again ...
Kowalski watched for a moment in silence and then waddled over to a chair across the lab, knowing that Skipper wanted to be alone. He sat down and began to stare at the ceiling. "What have I done?" he thought to himself, no longer able to hold back his own tears.
— § —
After suffering through the initial shock, Skipper was able to pull himself together enough to have a conversation with Kowalski once a few hours had passed. The pain was still there, however, as evidenced by the tears he wiped away with a flipper every few minutes, a physical form of the emptiness he felt inside.
After a while, Kowalski sighed. "Everyone's probably wondering why we've been in here so long. I should probably tell Private the news before it gets too late. It's going to be up to the two of you to decide what's in MaryRose's best interest. You can wait here, and I'll call him in."
Skipper then began to see images of the inevitable in his mind: himself handing MaryRose to Private, MaryRose sleeping on top of Private's chest at night, Private teaching MaryRose how to swim, Private holding MaryRose at her first birthday party, all the memories and milestones he'd no longer be a part of. He didn't blame Private for what had happened or harbor any ill will against him, but he certainly envied him. With a daughter as sweet as MaryRose, how could he not?
After a moment, Skipper came back to reality. He waddled up to Kowalski just as the scientist was about to open the door of his lab. "Wait, Kowalski. Can you wait until tomorrow morning to tell Private? I don't think my heart can take any more tonight."
Kowalski nodded, knowing a little more time was what Skipper needed. "OK, Skipper. Get a good night's sleep, and we'll talk to Private after breakfast."
With that, the two exited Kowalski's lab to find that the TV was still on, though it was no longer being watched. In front of it, two adult penguins and one penguin chick lay defeated by the late hour—three more victories for the Sandman.
Kowalski looked up at the clock on the wall. "I guess we were in there for a while. So, what do you want to do with our sleeping beauties?"
"Rico and Private can stay where they dropped, but I'll take MaryRose in with me," Skipper said. "Any other day I wouldn't want to disturb her, but you can understand why I really want to hold her right now." He waddled over to MaryRose and gently picked her up as Kowalski turned off the TV.
After looking at her in his flippers for a few minutes, Skipper carried MaryRose to his bunk and climbed in. Gently, he set the sleeping child on his chest so she could rest with him until morning. Moments after, Kowalski turned off the lights in the HQ and then waddled over to his own bunk. After speaking a few final words of comfort to Skipper, he closed his eyes and soon joined Rico, Private, and MaryRose in dreamland.
Skipper, however, remained wide awake; he did for hours. With all that was on his mind, he couldn't sleep even if he wanted to, though he had no desire to even try. He didn't want to sleep away his final hours as a father; he wanted to spend them close to his daughter. If only she could be part of these final hours more than—
An idea struck him. Slowly, he moved MaryRose beside him and then looked through the darkness of the HQ to see that Rico and Private were still lying on the floor. He then climbed out of his bunk and glanced up to be sure that Kowalski was still asleep before gently tapping MaryRose with a flipper. "MaryRose," he whispered. "MaryRose, wake up, sweetie."
MaryRose suddenly found herself awake in the darkness. "Daddy? Daddy? What's going on? Is everything OK?"
"Things are great," he replied, the first lie he had ever told his daughter. "I just have a surprise for you, that's all."
"What?"
"Well, you've impressed me so much lately with all your missions that I want to take you on your very first mission outside the zoo. What do you say?"
MaryRose beamed bright enough to be seen through the darkness. "I'll go anywhere with you, Daddy."
"That's my girl," Skipper whispered, MaryRose's smile both healing his heart and driving the knife in deeper. He lifted MaryRose into his flippers. "Come on, MaryRose, why wait until morning? Let's go have an adventure."