As I slipped through the cornstalks, I wondered if my friend Nakoma would tell. She and I had been best friends since childhood, and my recent distance concerned her. I had no idea that she had already known about me sneaking off to meet John, but I did not mind as long as she kept it to herself. But I couldn't blame her. I was breaking every rule known to our people. What was there to be admired about that?
Though the night was quiet, I felt a sinister presence looming over the forest I knew so well. I tried humming my mother's lullaby to calm the feeling, but the magical comfort it brought me apparently did not work when it wasn't accompanied by that mystical wind. I did not want to admit it to myself, but I knew deep down that the white men probably didn't listen to what I had told John to tell them. I had seen the rest of them. Their cruel faces and the hard glint in their eyes, combined with their meager clothing, told me that they were poor and desperate. At the time, I had not known what for. But now that I knew about the gold, I knew that they would not take the word of a savage that they had sailed for months to a place that had none whatsoever, even if the message was relayed to them by their beloved captain. Well, that meant that I had a new reason for coming here tonight: to get John to talk to my father. Maybe we could somehow make peace, or at least prepare for a battle that would otherwise have been unexpected.
"Pocahontas." His haggard appearance made me jump. Blue circles had formed beneath his eyes, and there was a dark shadow of stubble on his cheeks.
"John!" Even though we were both obviously worried and tired, we ran toward each other as always.
"Listen. My men are planning to attack your people. You've got to warn them. I tried telling them, but…they wouldn't listen. It's like this gold fever has poisoned their minds. They wouldn't listen to any reason." He shook his head and clenched his fist, then unclenched it in helplessness and defeat. He usually seemed so in control of things, but this had obviously shaken him deeply. My feeling had been right.
"You have to come with me and talk to my father!"
"Pocahontas, talking isn't going to do any good!" He sounded exasperated. Why wouldn't he listen? I tried pulling him along anyway, but he would not budge. Too frightened for the safety of my people to get angry, I went straight to panic. But before either of us did anything rash, Grandmother Willow interceded.
"I have something to show you. Look." One of her branches extended down to the surface of the water, sending out a perfect circle of small waves.
"The ripples." Her meaning was beginning to make sense…
"So small at first, but look how they grow! But someone has to start them." She spoke pointedly towards John, and he became even more stubbornly opposed.
"I know them. They're not going to listen to us." In spite of myself, I wondered if he was right. He had been through things like this before—shouldn't he know what he was talking about? But Grandmother Willow was unmoved.
"Young man. Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest one. Only when the fighting stops can you be together." He looked at her with a shocked expression, as if she had said exactly what he had been thinking earlier. Then he turned to towards me, and his eyes seemed to weigh me in the balance.
"Alright. Let's go talk to your father."
We looked at each other, studying one another's faces as we had done so many times before. I was suddenly aware that my joyful embrace had brought us closer than we had ever been before. I smiled up at him. This was how we were supposed to be, and I wondered why he'd never—and I'd never—but those thoughts flew out of my mind as I felt John's intense gaze. I knew before I even looked up that there was no escape—I would be sucked into his eyes like I had been so many times. But unlike before, I did not try to resist. The only path I could see before me was the whirlpool that was steadily dragging me in. Before I knew it I was sinking, drowning in his touch, and hanging on to him for dear life.
I should have known, I should have seen. If only I had been listening, instead of just feeling! One moment John's arms were warm at my waist, the next they were pinned to the ground by Kocoum's clenched hands. This is insane. I have to be dreaming! But when I was thrown to the ground after trying to part them, my stomach threatening to empty itself on impact, I knew that whatever was happening was terribly real. Then I saw the small dagger, getting closer to John's throat every moment. Again my stomach lurched, again I threw my whole weight against Kocoum, a strength I never knew I had forcing him further…and further…until an explosion of sound made his body so, so light. Blood sprinkled the air.
Kocoum's eyes darted everywhere, frantically searching until they found mine and asked, Why didn't you love me? He was a drowning man reaching out to me, grabbing my necklace tightly. But before he could say anything, all breath left him and he fell backwards into the water, my necklace breaking in his hand. Horror spread over me like a poisonous vine, threatening to choke me.
What had I done?