A/N: Sorry for the delay. College finals like to get in the way. Not sure I like this chapter, blah. Hope you at least kind of enjoy it. Not really sure where I was going with this, but shhhh. Next chapter will be from Olivia's POV. Please review on whether or not I should continue! Thanks!
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Beep. Beep. Beep.
Morning already?
I open my eyes, not needing to blink away the sleep; I didn't get any to begin with. I remain upon my bed, my tired eyes staring at the flashing numbers in neon lights. With a sigh I rise from my bed and run a hand through my hair, my mind racing with thoughts of Alex and Olivia. I don't think I can finish this case...
I flinch at the sight that greets me in the bathroom. A night of weeping certainly shows. I wish more than anything that I had any other job. The doubts plague my mind and I fear there is no stopping it from interfering with my ability to win this case to get justice for that little boy and to get justice for Alex. I furrow my brows and decide to finish getting ready. Just because I can feel my heart breaking, I know the world won't stop turning for me.
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In a nervous manner, my finger tips run along my lips while I think of how much I am dreading this meeting. I blame my behavior on the fact that this case will be difficult. It seems to fool most of my colleagues along with Elliot, Fin, and Munch. Yet, Olivia is in a whole other world. A world that consists only of Alex Cabot. A world that does not have any room for me, Casey Novak. The recent event brings fresh tears to my emerald eyes.
I refuse to allow myself to cry. Not in front of others; not while I am in the squad room where everyone knows me as the relentless, heartless ice-queen. Quickly, I blink away those tears before they can be shed, luckily in time to hear my name being called.
"Casey," I turn around to the voice I am so fond of, "Alex is here," her smile could blind with how brightly it shines.
I wonder if she detected that my heart had sank. I doubt it when she turns around, indicating I need to follow her to where the ex-A.D.A is. With a nod I follow behind, feeling sick to my stomach. I want to quit right here and now, just run away from the inevitable. I feel childish, a fool even. I hate that my heart is controlling my mind, affecting my life and career in such a way. Who knew I would fall so hard for the detective. Who knew she had such a hold on me that I would easily do anything for her. And how funny it was she had no idea.
Before we enter the room, I mentally prepare myself; I put up what emotional armor I have left and hope to whatever God that I can get through this. When my eyes set sight on the blonde I can see why any hot-blooded human would fall in love with her. She is gorgeous. Tall, thin, sharp features. If she took off those glasses I would have mistaken her for a model.
Olivia's phone goes off and soon I find her telling us she will be right back, leaving me alone with the beautiful blonde. I hope Alex can't read how much distaste I have for her solely because she owns the heart I so badly wished to win.
"So, you must be Casey Novak, the A.D.A handling the case," she smiles and holds out her hand. Great. She is beautiful and sweet.
I reluctantly take her hand and shake it.
"It would seem so. Welcome back from the dead. You're taking a big risk coming out of Witness Protection."
"For Justice, I would just about do anything. Anyway, I figure we can go over my testimony. I took the liberty to write up some questions you can ask me."
"Thought I was the one prosecuting," I say a bit harshly, "but, I'll look at them. I am assuming they won't be too different from the ones I was going to write up."
She gives an apologetic smile which in turns makes me feel guilty. I can tell she is one to take the high road when it comes to petty arguments.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I just figured I could make your life a bit easier by doing so. I meant no disrespect to your way of going about it. I am sure you are more than capable of doing a good job."
I feel the anger build up within in my body and it takes all I have not to retort back with something snide and cruel. My temper often gets the best of me and I know it isn't a becoming quality. I'm saved by the boys entering the room with coffee.
It seems they had already met up with Alex by the way they say hi to her so casually. That itself irks me. Why was I the last to meet with her? Shouldn't have I been the first, considering it is me that is going to put this man away for life?
The anger quickly flees from me and is replaced by rejection when Olivia enters the room. It's as if there are magnets placed in the two women and she is automatically drawn to her. I might as well have not existed. The detective didn't even acknowledge me but instead went straight to the blonde. I have never seen her so happy. When I see them interact, I can't help but feel the sadness wash over me.
My blanching face reveals my fainting heart. Of course she doesn't notice; her eyes are focused on the blonde beauty, her heart beating for the ex- A.D.A. I quickly avert my eyes and excuse myself from the room; getting questioning glances from Elliot and the others. I simply cannot take it. The jealousy hits me like a plague; devouring my heart until it physically hurts to beat.
The second I am free from prying eyes, I bathe the Earth with bitter tears; so grief-stricken that I could barely catch my breath. My face proclaims the agony I feel and I have no clue if I will be able to handle this case anymore.
I hear two people coming down the hall and I quickly wipe away my tears and recompose myself the best I can. It's Olivia and Alex. My brows instantly knit together. The beating of my heart physically hurts as it attempts to rip from my chest. I pin myself against the wall and listen intently to the two.
"I'll stay with you tonight. I want to make sure you're safe."
"Thanks, Liv," Alex responds, most likely followed by a smile, I presume.
"How's pizza sound?"
I cover my mouth to stop a sob from escaping past my lips so I will not give away my location. This hurts more than I can imagine. Pushing myself off the wall, I head the opposite way of the two as quickly as I can. The tears feel never ending and I have come to despise the act of crying. It seems it is all I ever do anymore.
I don't want this life anymore.
A/N: Please review! Thanks so much for reading! :)