Chapter Nine – Life at The Willows

While I waited for my mysterious guest, I looked through my room. I came across a stash of items hidden in the trunk. I knew they belonged to me because one of the belongings had my name on it. I dabbed a little of the perfume on my wrist and inhaled deeply. It smelled familiar, but it was not accompanied by any memories. I brushed out my hair as I stared at the photo of a bride. She had to be my mother, but I only felt feelings of frustration the more I gazed upon her. I carefully tucked my things away except for a colorful feather.

I was staring out into the night when the robed figure slipped into my room. Absently I brushed the feather across my cheek as a glorious scent filled the room. I turned to find him standing just inside the door.

"Greetings," I chimed and stared in awe at him.

"Good Evening little bird," he responded musically.

"What are you?" I could not help but ask.

He looked at me worriedly for several moments before he asked a question of his own, "You had electroshock today is that right?"

"Yes," I responded brightly, "They say I have amnesia. Except Helen believes I am faking."

"She would," he hissed through his perfect teeth.

"You are beautiful," I thought out loud, "What are you?"

"A monster," he replied shortly.

"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice, "I did not intend to offend you sir."

"You did not offend me," he sighed, "What I am offends me dear one."

"A monster would never give me such a wonderful gift," I offered.

"I do have a gift for you," he began in an amused tone, "Can you still tell me what it is?"

"Of course," I said thankful for the lighter mood, "There is a tiny bird carving in that pouch right there."

"Well done little bird," he praised and retrieved the stone quicker than my eyes could follow, "I carved this for you this afternoon."

"You made this?" I asked in awe as my fingertips brushed his palm, "Your hand is as cold as ice."

"Yes," he sighed and dropped his chin to his chest, "Part of being a monster."

"And your flesh," I gasped as I tried to apply pressure, "Is as hard as stone. You are a living statue."

"Gargoyle," he hissed.

"What?" I asked at the unfamiliar word.

"Nothing little bird," he dismissed and then changed the subject, "Your gift."

"Thank you," I said sweetly, "It's beautiful."

The next couple of hours we spent trying to jog my memory. He told me my sad story, but there were no sparks of recognition. It was as if he were reading a work of fiction. I could make no personal connection. Just before he left me, I asked him about Jasper. He had no knowledge of anyone by that name. It saddened me that he had only been a dream.

Life at The Willows moved along at a steady pace. Griffen visited me often, which became my favorite time of day. Judith was not transferred to the men's ward, but she hardly spoke to me at all. During the day, I spent a lot of time with Bonnie. They had doubled her electroshock treatments for a while, but it did not affect her behavior in the slightest.

Griffen showered me with Christmas gifts, and a local church gave each patient a quilt. Dr. Kippes gave me a sketchbook and pencils that he had intended for therapy, but I sketched dresses and accessories. The only Christmas I could remember was a happy one. Except for the shock treatments, my existence was tolerable. That is until mid-January.

Two weeks before my birthday, I was eating breakfast and noticed Helen with couple of officially dressed men. After mealtime, all the patients were rounded up, and all our heads were shaved. A Typhoid carrier had been traced to the Willows by the Department of Health. After Mary Mallon had caused an outbreak at Sloane Hospital in New York a few years previous, they were taking every possible precaution.

The majority of the residents did not seem to notice, but I shed tears for the loss of my raven locks. Helen seemed to relish my sadness as a contented smile settled on her face. Even Bonnie had a few moments of humanness as she gingerly rubbed the stubble on her head. I told her I was sorry and hugged her. She returned my embrace for a moment before returning to her canine whining.

That evening Griffen did not visit me, and I was grateful. I did not want him to see me that way. I know it was silly, but I kept crying. It made it easier to tolerate the shapeless garments they made us wear when I had my long hair as a focal point. I now had only dark sandpaper on my crown. Before I turned in, I removed a section of my quilt and fashioned a headscarf. I knew that they would certainly frown upon what I had done, but I hoped I could wear it until my hair grew out.

The next morning Judith gave me a strange look, but did not say a word. I made it through breakfast without a single comment. Dr. Kippes was the first speak about my head covering. He asked where I obtained the material, and I told him the truth. When he began to argue, I reminded him that the quilt was a Christmas gift. This spawned a discussion about self-esteem, and how it was connected your appearance. Our therapy session ran long because he became very interested in my point of view.

After lunch, Dr. Kippes made a point to seek me out. He led me to a small room off the laundry where the mending was done. There were a couple of manual sewing machines and other sewing supplies. Bolts of fabric crowded one corner. I looked around in confusion.

"I thought it would be good for you to have a distraction," Dr. Kippes said warmly, "There is fabric if you want to make one of your designs or there are two trunks of donated clothing underneath ready for alteration."

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"Of course," he replied, "Remember this is a privilege that you are receiving here, and Mrs. Story our laundress will be keeping watch over you."

"Did you call for me doctor?" a red-faced chubby woman asked from the doorway.

"Mrs. Story," he began, "This is Alice. The young lady I spoke to you about."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said and offered my hand.

"You can call me Nellie," she said and took my hand, "I'm not going to have any trouble with you am I?"

"No mam," I said smiling.

"That sounds fine," she said, "Well, I better get back to work."

"Thank you Mrs. Story," Dr. Kippes said sincerely, "You are a gem."

"You're welcome," she said as she disappeared.

"Do you have any questions?" he inquired.

"May I wear what I make?" I asked hopefully.

"If it is appropriate," he replied, "Of course you may."

"Appropriate?"

"One of the drawings you showed me is a wedding gown," he said amused, "I think wedding attire would be inappropriate."

"I can see point," I said laughingly.

"I can see you have a lot of organizing to do," he said and turned to leave.

"Can I make something for another resident?"

"Which resident?" he asked curiously.

I told him that I wanted to make something for Bonnie. He was surprised when I described her reaction the previous morning. He granted his permission, and he was hopeful that the gesture might reach her. I thanked him, and he left.

For nearly an hour, I dusted and organized. With everything having a place, it opened up more space to work. Then I dove into the trunks, and found quite a few dresses that had a lot of potential. Buried at the bottom, I found a hatbox. It had several hats that were too fancy for this place, but two of them were simple cloche hats. I froze when a vision filled my mind.

Prohibition would be ratified on January 16, 1920. Speakeasies filled with fashionable people. The beautiful women chattered in their cloche hats and flapper dresses. Their bob and finger wave hairstyles bounced as they danced vigorously to the upbeat music. The laughter filled small smoky rooms everywhere.

A huge smile spread across my face as I put one of the hats on. I quickly put things away, and thanked Nellie as I made my way to the dining room. I was a little early so I set to drawing the flapper dresses while the vision was still fresh in my mind. The hairstyles were short, and I could not wait until my hair grew out so I could have those lovely finger waves.

When Griffen made his appearance that evening, I was still engrossed in my drawings. I told him all about my vision, and showed him the future of fashion. He smiled at me with an amused smile as I rambled animatedly about how Dr. Kippes had given me a job. My scalp was beginning to itch so I removed my hat.

"Little bird," he exclaimed, "You have lost your plumage."

"Oh this," I said and scratched my bald scalp, "There was a Typhoid scare. They shaved it yesterday, and I cried. But now I know that short hairstyles are coming into fashion."

"Not that short," he teased.

"It will grow," I said and smiled, "My hair grows fast. Until then I will be a bald eagle."

"You are one of a kind little bird," he laughed musically.

Griffen explained prohibition and its ramifications. He excused himself when he found out that I did not think I'd ever tasted alcohol before. Several minutes passed before he returned with a cruet of bourbon. I was unsure, but he thought I should at least taste it before it was against the law. I took a tiny sip of the amber liquid, and it was strong and bitter. He laughed at the face I made.

"How can anyone like this?" I gasped.

"It's an acquired taste," he mused.

"This may be more to your liking," he said and produced a bottle with A&W on the side, "It's a new brand of root beer."

The root beer was sweet and effectively washed away the bourbon's bitter aftertaste. I thanked him for the sweet treat. We visited for about another half hour before he left me.

The next day was filled with hushed conversations and debates about prohibition. It was the 16th of January. I did not need a vision to tell me that it would be a popular topic for quite some time. I spent most of my session with Dr. Kippes thanking him, and promising him that I would not let him down. Even though I wanted to, I did not tell him about my vision. Griffen had warned me against it, and I trusted my friend implicitly.

I made my way to the mending room almost immediately after my therapy session. There were several bolts of fabric that had not been there the previous day. The material was of fine quality and looked expensive. I smiled to myself because I knew where it had originated-Griffen. I found ribbon and lace trim as well. I dove right in. And after skipping lunch, I made a lot of headway. I was so focused on what I was doing that I did not notice when Nellie checked on me. She let me know that I was missing supper. I thanked her as I quickly cleaned up after myself.

Supper was nearly uneventful. I was talking to Bonnie when I had a vision of Griffen's visit. He was trying to surprise me with an early birthday gift. The pair of Mary Janes fit perfectly. They were a perfect match to the footwear in several of my drawings. Bonnie looked at me strangely when I covered my mouth to hold in a squeal of delight.

It seemed like days had passed by the time Griffen slipped into my room. He had barely spoken his greeting when I began thanking him for the beautiful shoes. He was delighted by my excitement. I snatched the shoes from his hands and they were on my feet in a flash. He laughed as I paraded around my tiny room. He laughed again when I told him I intended to sleep with them on.

Griffen did not tell me he was taking the shoes with him until just before he left me. My gift would likely be confiscated unless I received permission. He had a plan for that. After he left, he would hide the shoes in bottom of one of the mending room trunks. The following morning at my session, I would tell Dr. Kippes that I had found them among the dresses. I hoped that he would allow me to wear them. When he mentioned the mending room, I remembered to thank him for the pretty material.

I had a tough time falling asleep. However, when I did succumb to the sandman I dreamed of Jasper. Losing myself in his golden eyes was so easy. When his amazing face started slipping away, I fought to stay asleep. I was sad until I remembered my new shoes and my nearly finished dress. The thought of my new outfit motivated me to get out of bed.

Luck was with me. When my session began, the good doctor asked me how I progressing. He was delighted at how far I had gotten, and that I was so motivated. I mentioned the shoes like it were an afterthought, and it worked like a charm. He said that he did not see any harm with me wearing the shoes. It took all my self-control not to jump up and down. We had a good session that day.

By the time my birthday arrived, I had finished five dresses. Four of them were mine, and one was for Bonnie. She loved her dress and her hat. I made her a cloth cloche out of the same material. When she was wearing her dress, she no longer crawled on all fours. She did however still whine and bark sometimes. Nevertheless, Dr. Kippes considered it progress.

My 19th birthday was an amazing day. Judith brought me sweet bread and apple butter for breakfast. I was sworn to secrecy because the men's ward frightened her. She wished me a happy day, and then asked me if I would make her one of my wonderful dresses. At first I was too taken aback to speak, but I soon agreed.

I was pushing oatmeal around in a bowl when a smiling Bonnie found me. She presented a flower that had been hidden behind her back. I asked her if it was for my birthday. She nodded once. Her eyes sparkled as I thanked her for the beautiful gift. I hugged her, and she whispered 'happy birthday' into my ear. I thanked her again. She smiled at me while she ate, but did not speak again.

Dr. Kippes greeted me with birthday wishes, and held up a small brass key. I took the key and looked at it with confusion. He informed me that we would not be having our usual session. We strolled to my room and in the corner where the chair had been stood a small wardrobe. It was well worn, but it was beautiful to me. I thanked him excitedly as I hung my dresses. He suggested that I keep my things locked up but did not elaborate. With my extra time that morning, I started Judith's dress.

Just as he had at Christmas, Griffen showered me with gifts. He brought me a small birthday cake adorned with a candle. The pastry was delicious, and I had it all to myself. I spent the next few hours with my favorite person in the world. My memory was not long, but I have to say it had been an amazing birthday.

Life at the Willows marched on, and it was not a horrible existence. I was content there. Griffen claimed it was because I did not know any different, but the life I had forgotten sounded quite miserable. I considered running away with him, but fear of the unknown held me there. After Dr. Kippes saw the dress that I'd made for Judith, he had an idea. I began making dresses that were sold in a local boutique. My designs sold well, and I loved being busy. You could even say I was happy.