Gillian woke up and stretched lazily like a cat. She turned around, fully expecting to snuggle into Cal's warm body. Her head shot up, when she face planted into the coldness of his pillow.

Cal admired her feline agility and wished he could stay longer to test the limits of her contortion abilities. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you", he apologised as he quietly slipped into his pants. He walked over to her bed without buttoning his fly and sat down.

"You didn't", Gillian explained as she sat up and pulled the sheets close to her chest, "well, not really, I missed the warmth of your body."

A playful smile graced the corner of Cal's lips at her modest attempt to keep herself covered. As if he hadn't committed all her beauty to memory last night… He reached for her face and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Instead of pulling his arm back, he let his hand rest on her cheek. He sighed as he gazed into her eyes. There were so many things he wanted to tell her but couldn't find the right words for.

"Come back to bed", Gillian whispered and put her hand over his.

Cal stroked her cheek and shook his head, "I can't. I have to pick up Emily."

"What time is it?" Gillian looked around surprised but Cal's positioning of his arm had her view to the alarm clock blocked.

"Early afternoon."

Gillian gasped and Cal broke out into a mischievous grin and reminded her, "We have been very naughty all night."

"Are you complaining I kept you up all night?" Gillian leaned forward and brought her forehead against his.

"Nooooo", Cal drew the word out playfully, "but I'm running behind because we slept in so late."

"When did you say you'd be there?" Gillian sighed and rubbed her forehead against his affectionately.

"I promised to be there for dinner at five. I kind of regret saying yes to Zoë's dinner invitation now but you know extend the olive branch and all that crap. I'd rather stay here with you."

"You need to shower or she'll know and throw a fit." Gillian whispered. They smelled positively of hot, passionate sex. She liked that a lot.

Cal pulled her closer and inhaled deeply, "I love your scent. I love that I can smell you on me. I don't want to wash it off yet."

"Did you just say that?" Gillian chuckled.

"Afraid so, love." Cal replied chagrined. He really didn't want to leave her… especially not for a nightmare of family dinner with his testy ex-wife. Oh well at least Zoë's father would be there, he'd converted him into a football fan – the real one not the American persiflage – so at least he'd have a dinner conversation partner. "I need to go and get changed."

"You could shower here", Gillian breathed huskily into his ear and snaked her hand into his open pants. Cal let out a groan and crashed his lips against hers. He invaded her with raw passion. Gillian's grip around him grew stronger and she began to stroke him in his briefs, mimicking the rhythm of his tongue. The sensation proved too much for Cal and he had to break away reluctantly but decidedly before the situation got out of hand.

"As much as I would love to take this to your bathroom and fuck your brains out in your shower, I really can't. If I'm late, I'll antagonise Zoë and she'll cause a scene."

"I'm gonna miss you", Gillian whispered.

"Nah, you won't even notice I'm gone. It's only for a few hours. I promise I'll wolf down dinner and skip desert." Cal wiggled his eyebrows indicating he'd get desert home later – with her.

Gillian gasped and slapped his chest softly, then frowned, "Wait a moment…"

Cal ignored her and continued on, "I'll call you before we leave, so you know when to get ready."

"Are you saying that you want me to stay over tonight?"

"Of course, it will be easier than driving back here tomorrow morning. Who knows what the conditions will be." Cal explained and added as an afterthought, "Gonna be a bit hard getting laid tonight with you sleeping here and me being at my house, don't you think?"

"Someone's a bit overenthusiastic. Who says you're getting any tonight?"

"It's Christmas! Surely you wouldn't leave me to fend for myself on a holiday that's supposed to be all about sharing with others." Cal put his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"What about Emily?"

Cal bit his lower lip. "Honestly, I haven't thought about that part yet."

"So what are you gonna tell her?"

"That daddy is having a sleep over?" he joked.

Gillian raised her eyebrows and gave him a pointed glare.

"What?" Cal shrugged his arms, "What do you want me to say?"

"What is this, Cal?"

He looked at her puzzled and almost blurted out what is what. He was glad he realised the problem just in time and bit his tongue. Chances were she would have kicked him out for good.

"I don't know, what do you want it to be?" He countered.

"What are we twelve? Don't answer my question with another question."

Cal sighed, "Look, Gill, you know I'm not good at this. I don't know what you want me to say. Can't we talk about this later?"

"How about the truth, Cal? Why did you come by last night?"

"Because I wanted to see you and salvage what little there was left of our friendship." She raised her eyebrows, "I swear, I didn't come here with the intent to seduce you. I would've bought condoms on my way over if that had been the case." He reminded her. "Do you regret what happened last night?"

Gillian shook her head no; picking up on the edge of worry in his voice, "Course not. I'm just…what are we doing, Cal? I mean this changes everything! What are we gonna do about Emily? About work? About...?" Cal silenced her with a kiss before she got any more worked up.

"Calm down, love." He whispered against her lips. "Let's not worry about too many things at once, ok. I'll deal with Emily. I'll explain it to her. Don't worry about that. And no one at work has to know yet."

"I don't want to sneak around behind your daughter's back." Gillian clarified.

"We won't." Cal reassured her, "She's old enough to understand and she's been on my case to get back into the dating game for years now."

"What are you gonna say to her?"

"The truth", Cal shrugged.

"Which is?"

"That we're exploring a new angle in our relationship – which has been quite frankly long overdue according to Emily anyway. She's not stupid, she'll know we're sleeping together, if we're romantically involved, so there'll be no need for you to pretend to stay in the guestroom."

"I don't want to make her uncomfortable in her own home."

"It's not like we're gonna flaunt it in front of her. Trust me, as long as we don't play tonsil hockey in front of her, she'll be thrilled that we're together. She's like our very own personal cheerleader. I've lost count how many times Emily has hinted to me in the past that you're the ideal woman for me."

"She has?" Gillian smiled and thought back to an exchange between them a few years ago where the teenager voiced similar sentiments. She couldn't be sure whether she had been talking about her and Cal's friendship or was hinting at them becoming romantically involved but the memory that Emily thought she made her father happy put Gillian's mind a little at ease. "She's a smart one."

"Yeah, we still don't know where she got that from. Maybe Zoë had a fling with the mailman?" Cal joked but then turned serious again.

"Last night was… what we have…" He tried again but to no avail.

"Yes?" Gillian prompted him nervously and excitedly. And then Cal did something he hadn't done in years. Something he'd never even shared with his wife. He let his guard down completely and let Gillian read his face. Her eyes widened in shock as he let her into his inner sanctuary and she automatically catalogued the different expressions that ran across his face, mirroring his inner turmoil.

"This is it, Gill. This is it for me. Last night meant everything to me. You weren't just an itch I had to scratch. And you could never be just a good fuck for me. You know that, don't you? I mean you know that I care about you, that I would never hurt you on purpose."

Gillian nodded ever so slightly and closed her eyes resting her forehead against his, "But you have, Cal, and that's part of the problem why I have a hard time trusting you with my heart." Gillian wanted to bite her tongue. She'd never meant to voice her thoughts out loud. Cal could not have looked more aghast if she had slapped him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" she trailed off because nothing she could do would take back what she'd said.

Cal put his hand up to shush her, "No it's ok. You're right."

She could see how disgusted he was with himself. He was wrestling with his inner demons and she knew she'd lose him forever, if she didn't try to make him understand. "I would've never slept with you, if I hadn't been sure", she explained and Cal looked up confused. "It was my choice as much as it was yours. I don't regret what has happened but that doesn't mean we're not about the make the biggest mistake of our lives."

"So what do you want from me?"

"I want to give us a chance, Cal, but I don't want to be the other woman. I don't want to worry about you going back to Zoë."

"That's not going to happen."

"Please, Cal. That woman's got you wrapped around her little finger."

"Ah but you've cast your magic spell over me", he replied cheesily.

"I don't want to be the other woman." Gillian repeated with emphasis, "Whatever little arrangement you have with Wallowski has to stop." Gillian decided it was time to lay down a few ground rules.

Cal shook his head vehemently and groaned, "Argh! Not this again! We've been over this yesterday! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not shagging Shazzer?" His patience was wearing thin, "She's just a cop I can squeeze on the street. That's all where I want to squeeze her for that matter."

Gillian raised her eyebrows in surprise. She'd never believed him before when he'd said that but this time, with his guard down, she could see the truth in his words written plainly on his face. And then she remembered they had an almost identical conversation last night.

"Now, you, on the other hand", Cal continued, "I want to shag in the bedroom, in your shower, in my office, on the streets, oh and in my study…" He trailed off and Gillian shoved him gently off when he tried to kiss her.

"Be serious, Cal! This is important to me." Gillian insisted, "So what are we? Dating? In a relationship?" She'd almost blurted out in love but caught her tongue just in time.

"Oh we're so definitely exclusive, but do we have to put a label on our relationship?" Cal countered and looked at her expectantly, "I mean, can't we just enjoy what we have? I know you like to plan ahead and everything – and really that's fine with me because that's who you are and I love you for who you are – but this once, can we just take it one step at a time? Just see how things develop? No pressure to fit social conventions of dating?"

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot actually," Gillian confessed and smiled faintly at Cal. Was she insane for agreeing to a relationship with Cal? It wasn't like she was going to marry the man. That would be crazy! He'd get himself killed before they'd had a chance to announce their engagement.

"I'm sorry, Gill." Cal sighed, "You know me, love, I'm not really good with words, the more I talk about us the more likely I'm to fuck it all up. So I'll just say this: I want you, Gillian. I have funny ways of showing how much I care but I do. I want this more than anything. I think we could be great together if we gave us a chance."

"Or we could be a disaster with a capital d."

"Or we could be a disaster", he conceded and repeated but then amended, "but we will never find out if we don't try. And I want to try this, Gill, I really want to because last night was phenomenal."

"Yeah it was", Gillian smiled and gave him a peck, "and I don't mean just the sex." Cal returned the sentiment with a sweet but deep kiss. She let her fingers roam across his pectorals – she couldn't remember the last time she'd been with a man when the urge to touch him was this overpowering. She wasn't lying when she said it wasn't just about the sex. The connection she felt with Cal when he entered her, when they made love, was something she had not felt in a long time. Cal did not only make her feel sexy and wanted but safe and protected. There was a bond between them, always had been since the moment they had met she realised now, that was stronger than anything she had ever felt before. Not with Dave and to be honest not even with her ex-husband. Maybe she had never felt that way before. Like she was finally coming home. Like maybe, just maybe, the puzzle pieces would all fall into place for her, once and for all in her life. She looked him in the eyes and was relieved to see that he had not slipped his mask back on. He was truly trying to let her in. She knew it was only a question of time until the world would get to him and he'd put his defence back up but for now she delighted in reading on his face what neither of them was capable of voicing out loud yet. They loved each other. They were in love with each other.

"I wish I could promise you happily ever after and forever but you and I both know that I'm a bit of a wanker and will more than likely screw it up. But I want to try for you, Gillian, and all I can hope for is that you take me back after I mess it up."

"I think we've established already that I'll always take you back no matter what you've done." A thin sheen of tears veiled her eyes, though she wouldn't admit how much Cal's words and honesty had touched her heart.

"Oh bloody, hell, don't start crying on me now, woman!" Cal groaned.

"I'm not crying." Gillian rebuked but added meekly, "And if, it would be happy tears."

"Happy, huh?" Cal wiped her eyes with his thumbs and rested his forehead against hers.

Gillian nodded, "Yeah, despite all your screw-ups, and death wishes, and stupid antics you make me happy. You always have, Cal."

"Come here," Cal pulled her into a hug. "I'll be honest with you, I'm a bit rusty in the romantic department because I haven't been in a serious relationship since Zoë, so you'll have to be a bit patient with me."

"I know", Gillian mumbled against his chest. "It's ok, Cal. I understand. So where do we go from here? What do you want?"

"Well, I want…you…naked…in my bed…tonight." Cal hummed against her skin, accenting each word with a kiss on her shoulder.

Gillian giggled and pushed him back forcefully, "Well, then you better get all your ducks in a row, before your ex-wife throws you into her dungeon."

Cal laughed out loud but turned serious again, "Are we ok?"

Gillian nodded and kissed him gently, "Go. I'll be all right. I'll see you in the evening."

Cal nodded as he straightened up. He finished dressing and checked his phone. Three missed calls from Emily. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Gillian. "For the records, I'd much rather stay here with you and continue what we started last night."

When he was barely out of the door, she called after him, "What about the cube?"

"Excuse me?" He stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around.

"Earlier when you listed all the places you'd want us to do it…you left out the cube. I've always wanted to do it in there with you." Gillian smiled innocently as if she'd just asked him how many cubes of sugar he wanted with his cup of tea.

Cal opened his mouth, but words failed him. He gaped at her, speechless, for what felt like a minute and he could clearly see the hidden glee on Gillian's face. He pointed his finger at her, and shook his head bemused, "Now that was just cruel. Putting that image into my head right before I'm about to have dinner with my daughter, in-laws and ex-wife. Now I need twelve cold showers before I drive over there."

"Just making sure you won't forget me over dinner with Zoë", she still smiled innocently but there was a hint of insecurity in her voice. It broke Cal's heart. He'd really not given her a lot of reasons to trust him the way he had always run back to his ex-wife at Zoë's back and call.

"Believe me, after last night… I could never forget you over anything…or anyone." He said sincerely. "And don't you think I won't cash in on that offer of yours."

"I'm banking on it."

"You better! First thing after the holidays I'm gonna fire everyone, so we have the cube all to ourselves." Cal declared.

Gillian shook her head and threw the pillow at him. Cal caught it easily with one hand and pressed his face into it. "Mhm. Smells like you. Think I'll keep it."

"Out now. Don't take too long." Gillian said.

Cal tossed the pillow back and opened the door, "You're an evil, evil woman. Later, love."

"Oh and for the records, you are most definitely a good fuck!" She called after him laughing.

"I did not just hear that." Cal called over his shoulder and closed the door behind him.

Thank you all for the reviews.