And to continue the fun... the second foursome of Joe golfers... Clutch, Scarlett, StormShadow and SnakeEyes(they are playing a couple holes behind the first group).

Names:

Just to let everyone know, I actually work in a well known golfing area that holds tournaments and such. I don't golf myself, but I'm running things by a actual golfer to check for accuracy(where accuracy is needed of course). So there MAY be errors in terms or such, but I'm struggling to make certain I don't make any major ones. I appreciate the reviews and I think this will be a fun fic overall. It will get a bit ridiculous at times, as only GI Joe can. Ninjas golfing... whoathunkit? Although, it's one form of golf I'd totally watch on tv.

Chapter 2

Clutch practically strutted out of his golf cart, ignoring the trailing caddies as effectively as any billionaire ignored his personal assistant. Looking over the first hole, he put hands onto his hips and smiled. "This looks magnificent! What's par on this?"

His caddy gave a polite smile and handed over a club. "Three Sir. There's a small water hazard just over there." He pointed off to the appropriate direction and stepped back out of the way.

Clutch gazed in that direction and then took a deep breath of the clean fresh air. "Okay then. You guys listen up. This hole is supposed to take a decent golfer three shots to reach the end and put the ball in the hole. That means that a couple shots to get on the green, then a single putt to put it in. You with me so far?"

StormShadow snorted softly, having already assessed the caddies as complete non-threats, he was beginning to look a little bit interested in the game. "Okay, so we get three times to hit the ball before we're 'out' and have to go home?"

Scarlett laughed softly. "Stop being so sarcastic Tommy! Lance will give you some good tips." Two of the caddies were very discreetly eying her figure. Any other foursome would have sworn the caddies were the epitome of proper young men. To a Intel agent, two ninja and a connoisseur of pretty women who could break his spine, they were complete amateurs.

Storm's snort was a little louder this time. "Oh and you don't need any tips?" He elbowed SnakeEyes slightly. "Your girlfriend seems pretty confident. What say I bet you twenty that I out play her?"

Scarlett rolled her eyes as SnakeEyes shook his head. "I'll take that! I actually know about this." Clutch cleared his throat self-importantly and she turned to him. "Come on Lance... let's hit the ball."

He sighed and put a tee into the ground. "Tee up the ball... make sure you have the right stance, relax... when you swing, follow through, nice and smooth." He looked at the three Joes watching him. "Okay? Any questions?" SnakeEyes motioned slightly. "Yes?"

Looking across the grass briefly, SnakeEyes signed quickly. *Where are the windmills?*

Clutch hid his face with a hand briefly while Scarlett managed to jab his ribs for the question. "It's... not... puttputt." His exasperated tone sounded weary. The caddies did a credible job of not snickering out loud.

SnakeEyes tilted his head, the realistic rubber mask not conveying any emotion. *No windmills? Where's the hole?* He turned to stare at the caddies who stood impassively looking bored. They couldn't understand his ASL, but he felt self-conscious standing in front of strangers without his normal mask.

Clutch repeated the question to one of the caddies who helpfully pointed and repeated the 'water hazard' remark. Storm and Snakes exchanged a look at the word 'hazard' and Clutch rushed to explain. "Water hazards are ponds on the course."

Both ninja relaxed. "Well, a pond isn't exactly hazardous..." Storm had regained his interest.

Clutch sighed. "Well, not if you don't hit your ball into one. Any other questions?" When he got only silence, he stepped up to the ball on the tee. "You just relax... and swing." He suited words to actions and his smooth swing sent the ball flying across the grass out of sight. "Not bad... I think I'm a bit out of practice."

The remaining three all looked at each other. SnakeEyes gestured for Scarlett to go next. She walked up and took the club her caddy offered her. "This is the right one to use?"

"Yes ma'am... unless you'd prefer a different driver?" The caddy's deferential tone made her lips twitch slightly. "I could exchange it for whichever of your clubs you'd like..."

Clutch broke in as she was looking at the club thoughtfully. "You want that one, Shana."

She nodded somberly. "Yes, I think the driver will do nicely."

As she stepped up to put her ball on a tee, Clutch grinned. "You know... I'm a driver..." He suddenly twisted around grabbing at the back of his head. "OW! What the hell was that?" He glared at two oblivious ninja in plain clothes. "Did you throw something at me?"

Both of them shrugged at each other. Storm was the one to speak. "I certainly didn't throw anything and I didn't see anyone throw anything at you.. must have been... hmm... a squirrel. Terrible creatures, squirrels. They plot against you when you're not looking."

Clutch's eyes narrowed. "Very funny." He twisted back to watch Scarlett hit her golf ball, telling her how to correct her stance and grip. Finally she swung and connected. Unfortunately her ball only traveled a short distance before bouncing along into the deep grass. "Oh oops... you hooked it pretty bad. It's in the rough."

She looked to where her ball had disappeared into the grass. "In the rough what?"

Clutch sighed. "That area that doesn't look all manicured and pretty? That's the 'rough'. You want to stay on the 'fairway' which is the smooth looking areas. I thought you knew how to play golf?"

She thought about it and shrugged. "I know... mostly. Oh well. Sooo do I get to go hit it again so it goes over where your ball went?" She hefted the club in hand and was disappointed when he said no. "Well why not? I didn't get to go as far as you did!"

"You can take another stroke when everyone has teed off, okay?" Clutch motioned at the two ninja hanging back. "Next?"

Storm held out a hand to his caddy. "It looks easy." Positioning the ball on the wooden tee was simple for a man with the innate balance and training of a ninja master. He sniffed at the ball and squared up to hit it with his club. Clutch coughed slightly and he looked up with irritation. "What?"

"You need to turn the club so you hit the ball with the flat side... not the edge." Clutch put his hand on his chin, obviously trying to keep a serious expression.

Storm hefted the club up to eye level to peer at the head. "Why? The leading edge would do more damage... simple physics, man. Smaller surface area striking with the same amount of force behind it." He looked over at his sword brother. "I'm right, tell him."

SnakeEyes agreed with a nod. Clutch sighed heavily. "Well you're not trying to damage the ball. You're trying to drive it downrange... while it stays intact." When the ninja seemed doubtful, he raised his hands trying to convey his idea. "It's... it's like throwing a wiffle ball. You throw it too hard and it won't go anywhere. You have to throw it with a measured amount of force."

SnakeEyes agreed with this as well, nodding at Storm.

Hesitating, Storm watched his fellow ninja master agreeing before he asked. "What's a 'wiffle ball'?" He watched the graceful signs as SnakeEyes explained. "Why would anyone make a hollow plastic ball with holes in it?" He shook his head. "Whatever.. okay, so I use the flat side. But if it doesn't work, I'm blaming you."

Clutch shook his head and watched the ninja line up and swing. He winced as the ball flew off to the right. "Ooooo, you sliced it bad."

Storm immediately protested loudly. "I did NOT! I didn't even have a blade out!"

Facepalming himself again, Clutch explained. "Slicing means it veered off course to the right. Shana 'hooked' her ball to the left, you 'sliced' your ball to the right. It's the term for the mistake."

Tommy glared at the mechanic suspiciously before he turned to the hapless caddies who were still managing to keep somber expressions on their faces. "Is that right? Is he lying?" His eyes narrowed at them. "I'll know if you lie to me..."

Two of them shook their heads. "No sir... slice or hook mean it veered off in the wrong direction. The gentleman is correct." The daring caddy took the golf club back as it was thrust towards him and put it back into the bag with a gulp.

Shana sighed theatrically. "Trust you to slice something..." She did keep her expression to a smirk without laughing. "Get out of the way so Snakes can stroke."

Clutch groaned. "He can 'tee off' and hit the ball. Not stroke... good god, you people are all heathens." He watched their second ninja line up to hit the ball and waved his hands at him. "You don't have to break the club. Loosen up. Just let it rest in your hands and swing."

Storm stepped off a bit further away. "I'll bet your ball doesn't pass mine." He turned to look over the grass where all the balls had disappeared. "Ten dollars."

SnakeEyes snorted and rolled his shoulders before swinging powerfully at the ball. The ball flew off to the left while the club whipped out of his hands and into the side of StormShadow's head with a twack. While the slightly built Asian clutched at his head and cursed loudly in Japanese, Clutch jumped over to check he wasn't hurt. SnakeEyes was signing frantically that it was an accident.

Standing up, Tommy rubbed his ear. "I can't believe you hit me with a club."

SnakeEyes stiffened slightly. *I can't believe you didn't hear it coming and dodge. Getting soft?*

Tommy glared. "I'm going to pretend I didn't see you say that, brother. This game is stupid. Where do we go now." He turned to glare at Scarlett who was doubled over laughing hysterically. "You know, I'm going to remember this moment."

She straightened with an effort, wiping at her eyes with her thumb. "Oh... so will I... so will I..."

"I hate you. I hate this game." Storm turned on the four caddies remaining completely still and stoic either out of long practice serving drunken CEOs or through sheer terror of this strange foursome. "If I hear even the slightest snicker.. there'll be a whole new 'hazard' on this course."

"Yes Sir!" came the chorus from all four.

0 0 0 0

End chapter.

Kind of refreshing to see ninja that are not perfect at everything they try, isn't it? Next chapter will go back to the first foursome... until next time!