CHAPTER TWO

It was another couple of days before Quil recovered from his food poisoning. I called him that night to see how he was doing and told him what Embry had said to me.

"You didn't tell him I said anything, did you?" he groaned.

"No, of course I didn't."

"Good. Hey, look, I have to go, I'm gonna puke for about the hundredth time today."

"Nice, Quil, I really wanted to know that," I grimaced. "See you soon."

I hung up quickly. I didn't see him or hear from him again until Wednesday and until then I spent every spare minute working on the Rabbit, with Embry helping. Things were a little different between us, but I knew that was more to do with me than him. He seemed the same as he always had before he'd started trying to avoid me, although every so often I would see him looking at me when he thought I was too busy with some part of the engine to notice and if I turned my head and caught him, he would drop his eyes quickly and pretend it had been an accident, or say something really random as if he were trying to draw my attention away from it.

After a while I found myself beginning to think about the stupidest things. I kept thinking about Bella, how she looked and how I felt about her and then looking at Embry and comparing things. His hair was much longer than Bella's and it kept falling in his face and getting in the way of him working, but he didn't tie it back, he would just tuck it behind his ears or flick it back over his shoulder. Bella had brown eyes and so did he, but his were darker and wider. He had this kind of quirky smile that would appear really quickly and then vanish and he would bite the edge of his lower lip instead. I knew I never would have even been noticing any of these things if the last couple of days hadn't happened, but him suddenly saying he was gay had made me wonder what I was exactly. Fifteen was kind of late to realise you hadn't ever really taken a fancy to anyone so did I like girls or boys, or was I just so late to develop that I liked neither yet? Or both?

"What's up?" Embry asked suddenly.

"What?"

"You're miles away."

"Oh...um...I was thinking about Bella," I blurted out. At least that was the truth.

"Bella Swan?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, you like older women?" Embry teased. He gave that quick little smile and then his face fell and he bit his lip.

"She's just a friend, that's all," I said at once and then kicked myself. Wouldn't it have been easier to let him think I had the hots for Bella? Somehow not hurting his feelings had seemed more important than keeping him at a distance. I grimaced and told myself to stop being such an idiot. If only I could have continued being blissfully ignorant.

Finally by the time Quil reappeared I had managed to relax again, convincing myself that I was only being stupid, that I should concentrate on the car and stop trying to force myself to look one way or the other. Just because I wasn't fantasising about some movie star or someone like Quil always seemed to be doing didn't mean there was anything wrong with me.

Eventually the summer came to an end and we reluctantly returned to school. My efforts to restore the car were restricted to evenings and weekends, although Dad wouldn't let me set foot in the shed until my homework was all done. However, the engine was rebuilt and back in, the wiring replaced and most of the other mechanical parts fixed so I had already made enough progress to have me on track to complete it by Christmas as I hoped.

Much to everyone's surprise, Quil turned into the unlikely stud out of the three of us, beginning dating a girl from some of our classes within a couple of weeks of school starting. She was quite well known for always having guys hanging around her and Quil delightedly reported that he had slept with her by the first week in October. Two days later, he had a face like thunder and admitted reluctantly that she had broken up with him, but he seemed to get over it pretty quick. Embry and I watched with amusement over the next few weeks as he dated half a dozen different girls, most of them either sluts or the rather less attractive ones who were probably desperate, but his antics gave us plenty of fuel to tease him with and he didn't seem to care how much we ragged him. His view was that he was having as much fun as he could find the time for, while the pair of us spent our time single and covered in oil and grease.

It was the November beach bonfire party that changed all of that. It was a Saturday night and Quil and Embry came over to my house around six o'clock to meet up with me before we all went. Dad had already given me a lecture, saying he knew there would be alcohol there and he didn't mind me having a few beers, but if I staggered home in the morning out of my mind drunk there would be trouble and I would be grounded until Christmas. It was the first year I'd even been allowed to go to the bonfire and I was determined it wouldn't be the last, so I promised to behave. I took a shower, put on jeans, shirt and leather jacket, pulled the sides of my hair back from my face into a half tail to stop it blowing into my eyes all night and annoying me and then waited for the other two to turn up.

Quil was dressed similarly to me - cargo pants, shirt and jacket. Embry hadn't bothered with a jacket and I privately thought he would be freezing by the time we had spent an hour on the beach. Quil had a rolled up rug under his arm to spread on the damp sand and we all walked down there, the glow from the bonfire already visible as we approached. We made our way down to the sand, spread the rug out in a suitable spot close enough to the fire to feel the heat and then Embry stayed there while Quil and I went to the barbeque someone had set up and bought several burgers and hot dogs.

A truck was parked not far from us, its stereo blasting out dance music and another truck was filled with crates of beer, the owner selling bottles for a dollar each. Quil went and bought three and brought them back to us, but it wasn't long before he spotted a girl he liked the look of and abandoned us.

"He is turning into such a whore lately," Embry said.

"Yeah, but have you ever seen him with anyone really decent?" I grinned. "He's only getting away with it because he's picking on the desperate ones."

"I don't know, beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

"I think it's more to do with beauty being in the one with the loosest panties where Quil's concerned." I finished the bottle of beer I was drinking and stuck it in the sand beside the rug. "Do you want another?"

"Yeah; thanks."

I got up and went over to the beer wagon and grabbed another four bottles. They were disappearing at a rate of knots and we would probably be out of luck in another hour. I threw myself back down on the rug next to Embry and passed him two of the bottles. We sat there drinking and shouting at each other above the sound of the music for a while longer, until suddenly Quil appeared alone and kneeled down in front of us.

"Have either of you got a condom on you?" he asked, grinning stupidly.

"Are you kidding? Do you actually think I keep them on me just in case?" I frowned. "God, Quil, if you're going to go and have sex with someone at every opportunity, why don't you go out prepared?"

He just shrugged and grinned wider, glancing at Embry. "What about you?"

Embry shook his head and even in the dim flickering light the fire was affording I could see he was going red.

"Damnit," Quil muttered.

I glanced around me and spotted Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron not far off, standing together drinking beer and laughing. They were in some of our classes at school and I knew them a little, but I would never have called them friends. Paul had a vile temper and Jared was the complete opposite - shy and a bit intimidated looking. Paul always had a bunch of girls following him around and I wouldn't have been surprised if he was keeping Trojan in business. He and Jared usually hung around with Sam Uley, a guy three years older whom most people seemed to be scared of. In fact I'd go as far as to say they followed him around like two devoted pets, although there was no sign of him tonight.

"Why don't you ask Paul?" I suggested, nodding my head in his direction.

"Yeah, right." Quil pulled a face. "He'd probably punch me or something. He's a total badass."

"Don't be stupid," I said.

"Why don't you ask him?" Quil raised one eyebrow. "Come on, Jake, please? I'll owe you one."

"If I go asking Paul Lahote for condoms, you're going to be owing me for the next six months," I sighed.

"Please? Come on, this girl, Lucy, is well up for it."

"You're a slut, Quil," Embry smirked.

"I know," grinned Quil.

I hauled myself to my feet without a word and began to head towards Paul and Jared, wondering what on earth I was going to say to them. Damn Quil, but I knew if I didn't ask he was just going to sit there whining all night about his missed opportunity.

"Hey, Paul...Jared," I said.

"What do you want, Black?" Paul grunted and gulped some of his beer. Jared just eyed me curiously.

"Um...I don't suppose you have any...um...condoms I can borrow," I said. Borrow? Jesus. "I mean buy. Obviously," I stammered.

Paul's eyebrows lifted and suddenly he roared with laughter. "First time, is it?" he snorted.

"Oh, not for me...for...um...Quil." I knew I was going red and I silently cursed Quil and my own stupidity for agreeing to ask.

"Oh, yeah?" Paul glanced over my shoulder at Quil and Embry in the distance. "Found another desperate no-hoper, has he?" He laughed again. "Just so happens, I have some spare." He dug a hand into his pocket now and pulled out two small square packets. "Here. No charge, just this once. But you'll owe me, Black, I'll call it in some day."

"Thanks," I said, taking the condoms from him and wondering what on earth I was going to owe him. I didn't like the sound of that one bit. I turned and went back to the others, shuddering as I heard Paul and Jared both laughing loudly behind me.

"Well? Did you get one?" Quil asked eagerly as soon as I sat down.

"I got two. Here." I shoved them into his hand. "Go on, get out of here."

"Why don't you keep one? You never know," he grinned.

"I do know. Take them."

"Thanks, Jake." Beaming, he got up again and hurried away to wherever he had left the girl.

"God, that was embarrassing," I said to Embry.

"You didn't have to agree to go and ask them."

"I know, I'm just a sucker for someone begging a favour."

We didn't see Quil for the rest of the night. We sat listening to the music and drinking our beers, gradually becoming a little tipsy and finding everything funny. I didn't even notice that Embry edged closer to me at some point until his arm brushed against mine when he moved. The wind caught his hair and blew it across my shoulder and when I glanced at him he seemed to be going to great efforts to not look at me. Over the past couple of months I had barely even thought about him apparently liking me, but now I was reminded of my confusion during the summer and I wasn't sure whether I should stay where I was or move away, but that would be kind of obvious and probably just make him feel awkward. I didn't move, but reached down to grab my beer again. He did the same and the back of his hand knocked against mine. His skin was ice cold.

"Hell, Embry, you're freezing!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you bring a jacket?"

"I don't know, I wish I had now." He grinned sheepishly and lifted the bottle to his lips, draining it in a couple of gulps. He licked his lips and lowered his eyes as he put the bottle down again. His hair blew into his face and he brushed it away and tucked it behind his ear. Then he pulled his knees up in front of him and wrapped his arms around them.

'Stop looking, for God's sake,' I told myself. 'What's wrong with you?'

I sat there not knowing what else to say for a few minutes, staring at the fire and occasionally squinting at Embry out of the corner of my eye. He looked like he was shivering and I wondered why he didn't suggest calling it a night so he could go home and get warm. Still, the La Push bonfire was like some kind of rite of passage amongst the kids on the reservation. Once you were old enough to be allowed to go, you stuck it out until the bitter end, come what may. I wasn't particularly thrilled about spending the next six or seven hours on the beach either, but I wasn't going to take off home and be teased about it on Monday.

I reached behind me and grabbed the edge of the rug, lifting it up behind us and draping it around Embry before I could think about what I was doing. As I tucked it around him my hand touched his shoulder and before I could slip my arm free from where it was now caught between him and the rug, he reached up and rested his hand on both the fabric and my wrist, preventing my escape and other than push him off or wrench myself free, there wasn't much I could do about it. I sat still, my heart hammering, holding my breath. Shit. Now what?

I pulled the other end of the rug up with my free hand to cover myself, thinking I might as well be warmer while I suffered with a gut full of nerves. Then I grabbed my last beer which was already half empty and sipped some more. My head was feeling pretty fuzzy and I didn't seem to be able to string any coherent thoughts together, so I simply sat there, gazing at the fire and listening to the music while Embry did the same. We probably didn't move for about an hour and then it was the beer rapidly making its way to my bladder which made me shift. I pushed the rug off my shoulders and drew away from Embry, lurching to my feet quickly and heading for the dunes. I probably should have said where I was going, but somehow I just didn't. I began to wish I hadn't drunk so much. Three beers was nothing really, but since I'd only tried it a couple of times in the past I suppose they were ample to affect me quite badly.

I emptied my bladder and turned to go back to Embry, wondering for a second if I should maybe just go home. I couldn't help thinking something was going to happen and I wasn't sober enough to decide if I wanted it to or not.

"Jake? Hey..."

I realised I had almost walked past him and I halted quickly. Well, it was too late now.

"Where did you go?"

"For a pee." I sat down with a thump next to him. "Damn, I drank too much." I heard myself laugh.

"Me too. Back in a minute." He got up and disappeared in the direction I had come from.

My head was spinning from the moving about and I thought if I just lay down for ten minutes, I'd feel better. I leaned over sideways until I lost my balance and flopped onto the rug. The part my cheek landed on was warm and I pressed my face into it. God, I was never going to drink again. My Dad was going to kill me. Or at least ground me until Christmas like he promised. I didn't even notice Embry come back. I could dimly hear the music banging away and a jumble of talking and laughing from the partying crowd; then I guess I must have fallen asleep or passed out.