Author's Note: These are not the droids you're looking for ...

I'll bet you all thought I forgot about this! I'm afraid I'll just have to disappoint. I have no intention of abandoning it! I think I said once before that it's my long-term project, and I simply got involved with several other FF7 stories I needed to finish first - Scapegoat, Just a Little Rough Around the Edges, a couple of one-shots, a kiriban fic, and the next installment in my detective AU. So really, that's a reasonable effort for over a year of abandonment of this story. Right? XD

Anyway, I hope to devote a somewhat more regular schedule to this, probably alternating between it and the detective mysteries. Though I'm sure the FF DOINK Exchange will be coming up again this summer, and who knows what I might be possessed to do for that. (*Ahem* That's a hint for you Seph & Zack writers/readers. ;) ) The oneshot I planned last year turned into a full, chapter-length fic, because the word 'short' is apparently not in my vocabulary.

In any case, with Star Wars hitting the theatres again, I've really gotten back into the research for this story! I'm re-reading books I haven't read for years, so hopefully I'll know what I'm talking about. XD If you see any inconsistencies, feel free to let me know. I am actually trying to be accurate to the SW universe, with the exception of anything I simply make up. Next stop: Mimban, and I've gotta make it there before Zack and Seph do!

Oh, and I have to really thank everyone who's been favoriting and commenting, especially since it's been over a year since the last update! I don't know how you guys find this after that long - it must be buried under a ton of rubble. But thank you, it's so awesome to know people still read this. :)

Last thing: I've got a poll on my FF(dot)net profile (up at the very top) about whether anyone would ever be interested in buying fanfiction at a convention. It's an idle curiosity, and I have no plans to do anything with it anytime soon, but I'd like to see what the general feeling is for that sort of thing. Feel free to answer however you like! Thanks a bunch!

Enough rambling. Hope you enjoy the story! :)

Chapter Ten

A Certain Point of View

Captain Yori Markos stood upon the bridge when the SOLDIERs entered. He glanced up when they arrived, lifted a hand to indicate a moment, and returned his attention to the man he was currently speaking with. Zack, new to the bridge, looked about in curiosity.

The room was spacious, framing an enormous window – viewport – looking out upon the stars and the planet below them. It was dim here, the only light coming from coolly luminescing panels which seemed more to serve as accents than real lighting. The perimeter of the room, on either side and toward the front, consisted of a pit where several uniformed attendants manned various stations and computer banks. The center of the room was essentially a wide dais from which the captain could observe the actions of those beneath him; it was circled by a railing. There was a single dark chair in the center, while a wide staircase spilled downward toward the viewport, which occupied the entire forward wall. Two other, much narrower staircases also accessed the control pit from the far rear corners of the room.

As the captain conversed, Zack wandered further onto the bridge, stopping at the railing near the viewport. He couldn't help but be, once again, entranced by the magnificent vista. It was still so … unreal. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to the idea of flying in space … or that space travel seemed to be as commonplace as walking. The crew working in the pit barely seemed to give the window a passing glance, almost as if they'd seen such a view a thousand times before. Which they probably had, Zack realized.

Sephiroth stepped up beside him.

"… Can you believe it, Seph?" Zack asked, in practically a whisper.

Quiet, Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't know if I ever will."

"I know what you mean. I still think this must be a dream … Look at this. Just look at it all … It's just … it's so far beyond anything that ShinRa ever imagined! Hard to believe that this was all out … out there, out here, wherever … and we never even knew about it. And can you imagine, Seph … this must be just the tip of the iceberg! Incredible. It's just …" Zack trailed off, shaking his head, at a loss for words to explain just how incredible it really was.

"Refreshing." At Yori's cultured tone, the SOLDIERs turned, finding the man stepping up beside them. "To view things through such young eyes," he clarified, then shrugged, "so to speak. This view, despite its beauty, has become old to me." He waved a hand, indicating their surroundings. "This technology, commonplace, hardly state-of-the art … for the most part. But for you, so new, so fascinating … I was like that, once." A thin, fleeting smile crossed his face, and he turned his gaze toward the stars before them. "It is difficult, now, to find that … feeling, that inspiration, that sense of discovery that returns the thrill, that gets the blood to pumping …" There was a long pause before Yori once again regarded them. "Which is why I am glad to have you as my guests, and to experience that sense of wonder once more, through your eyes … if only just a little."

He waved a hand. "But enough of such idle chatter. Zack, it is good to see you up and about, at last. I hope you have rested well?" Yori turned his pale eyes upon the younger of the two SOLDIERs, appraising the fit of the new uniform. He noticed that the man's bandages had been stripped away, or at least that his arm was no longer bound to his side, and wondered whether he'd chosen to tough it out. Surely he couldn't be fully healed? It was only two days ago when Yori had seen him last, and even with the more-than-adequate medical care his ship possessed, without bacta, that would be … impossible – for a normal human.

Zack nodded. "Yep! I feel great. Between your docs and Seph, I'm as good as new! I gotta thank you for the rescue, by the way … you know, back on the planet." Here, he rubbed the back of his neck, somewhat embarrassed. "From what Seph tells me, I was in pretty bad shape." The former General had related to Zack what had followed from the time he'd woken and discovered the younger SOLDIER unconscious and critically injured. And, though Sephiroth had intentionally left out his own desperation, there'd been something in his voice, and something in the words he'd used, that led Zack to guess at just how bad things had really been. Remorseful, Zack glanced over at his friend. The man's face betrayed no emotion.

"Indeed." Yori noted the reference to Sephiroth having something to do with the healing, and mentally recorded it for later. "It's fortunate that I happened to be in the area. That anyone happened to be in the area, for that matter." Else you would be dead. Zack heard the unspoken phrase, and suppressed a shudder.

"Come, come!" Yori continued, once again waving off the subject. He began to walk, leading the way across the bridge. "We have much to discuss, now that you are both awake and well." Cloak billowing, he took them past the lift that had brought them to the bridge, and down a short corridor to a small room. It held only a single table surrounded by chairs, with a viewscreen on one wall; it looked like a private meeting room. They filed inside, taking seats at the table.

Yori began to busy himself with a small console embedded in the surface of the table; as he did this, he observed the two SOLDIERs from the corner of his eye while they waited, Zack idly fidgeting with the cuff of his uniform. More than anything else, he desired to interrogate them about what they'd seen and done on Dak'tar IV. Still, he remained unsatisfied with the answers he'd been provided – Sephiroth, he knew, was intentionally avoiding the issue; Yori suspected that, even approached directly, the man would simply refuse to tell him. But why? He was concealing something – that much was obvious. He suspected it must have something to do with the crystals beneath the temple, or something related to them, but couldn't be positive. At the very least, it was related to their origin on the barren rock, and that by itself was enough to make Yori want to know.

Zack, on the other hand, had revealed much more than Sephiroth, whether unknowingly or intentionally. But even that had been frustrating, as many of the topics had been bare hints, which Zack had neglected elaborating upon. Where was this Gaia, and how was it related to Dak'tar IV? What was the Forgotten City? The Lifestream? Who was Jenova, and why had Zack seemed unconcerned about leaving her on the planet? More than that, what was it about her that had left him so hesitant? It was understandable, given his shaken and exhausted condition at the time, that Zack would miss Yori's interest in these topics, but it left Yori irked – where, at the time, he was certain to have received the information had he asked and Zack been less occupied by other thoughts, now, Sephiroth was sure to have spoken to him and shared whatever cautions he'd had. Zack would be less likely to reveal their secrets so easily, now.

With both of them together, he knew that the probability of successfully getting the information he wanted would be low. He would need to approach the matter carefully now, gain their trust … or at least Zack's. He would need to separate the two of them. Zack was less wary than Sephiroth, it appeared, though there was something else about him … Beneath his laid back, easygoing attitude, there was something there … a watchful edge, unnoticeable but for the way the boy's eyes constantly moved, a set to the shoulders that was not fully at ease. He'd taken a seat across the table from the entrance, and his eyes routinely drifted to it. Yori hesitated at calling it nervous, but almost …

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "Captain, you mentioned previously that you would be willing to aid us in our search for information about Dak'tar IV. I've decided the Expeditionary Library on Csilla might be our best starting point, per your recommendation. I'd prefer to avoid Coruscant and the conflict there, for the time being …"

"Ah, yes." Yori straightened. "And you wish to know whether I would take you there," he finished, with an indulgent smile.

Sephiroth nodded, once.

A man of few words, Yori noted wryly. Thoughtful, he steepled his fingers and rested his lips against them, considering. Finally, he raised his head.

"I, myself, am curious about the planet Dak'tar IV," he began. "I am a researcher, an archaeologist, if you will, so it is in my nature to be curious about such places. The ruins there have lain empty for thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of years, as you know," he nodded at Sephiroth, "and I know little about them. I was there once before, though my research was interrupted, and it seems I was equally unlucky this time around." He smirked, humorlessly. "For the moment, Dak'tar IV is beyond our reach.

"However, due to our mutual interest in the planet, I am willing to set aside other areas of my research in favor of this one." He spread his hands, with a smile. "The perks of self-employment. I cannot do this to the exclusion of all else, of course, so, if you are willing to tolerate my … detours … you are more than welcome to stay, and I will take you to Csilla."

Sephiroth nodded, slowly, eyeing their host. "I find that … acceptable." If nothing else, it would provide them with time to learn more about this strange galaxy in which they'd found themselves, to figure out where Gaia fit within it all. And he had to admit, grudgingly, that he was curious about this place. He didn't know what it would hold for either him or Zack, less if they could not find Gaia … now that they were alive, what were they to do? Finding a way back home was a start, but how far they should pursue that goal – how far they even wanted to pursue that goal – was a question that Sephiroth had not even begun to try to answer. They were, quite literally, confronted with a universe of possibilities, right at their fingertips. Sephiroth's immediate concern had been for Zack's, and his own, wellbeing, and he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he'd focused on the idea of home simply to provide direction, some kind of scant structure, to their new existence. He would need to widen his view from this narrow path at some point … perhaps sooner rather than later, depending on how things went from here.

"I must know, however," Yori's voice broke into Sephiroth's thoughts, "what exactly it is that you hope to discover about Dak'tar IV?"

Sephiroth's gaze drew even with Yori's, and he evaluated the man before him.

"Come now, Sephiroth." The man allowed a knowing smile to cross his face. "You and I both know that you have been concealing things from me. It is clear that you have never set foot upon a starship before, never left your home planet, this Gaia … at least to your knowledge. You were just as surprised as I to find yourself upon Dak'tar IV. So why not be frank about it? I have promised to help you in this endeavor; our interests are the same. We should be allies. Why continue this avoidance?"

The tension in the room was thin, but palpable. Zack's eyes flicked between the two of them; he finally settled upon Sephiroth. He recalled the man's words of caution from before, and wondered what he'd say. When Sephiroth's gaze drifted in his direction, he shrugged. If Yori had already guessed as much, and if they really had just magically appeared on the planet, he didn't see the point in trying to beat around the bush.

Finally, Sephiroth sighed; it was almost imperceptible. "You'll forgive me for being cautious – I didn't know how much I should trust you, despite our rescue. I still don't." His gaze challenged Yori, who met him evenly. "However, you do have a point." Sephiroth paused to frame his words. It was another moment before he took a breath to continue. "We were taken from Gaia, our home planet, and deposited upon the place you call Dak'tar IV. I do not know how, or why – it was done without our knowledge." Zack watched; though it was true, the former General intentionally left out any mention of their activities in the Lifestream prior. "Gaia possesses only … rudimentary space technology, at least by your standards, so, yes, all this is unfamiliar to us." He lifted a hand, indicating their surroundings.

There was another pause, before he continued. "For all I know, Gaia is indeed located within the so-called Unknown Regions of your galaxy. I do not know where, for I am unfamiliar with that, too. Logically, I can only assume that we came to Dak'tar IV by way of some visitors to our planet. I would like to know why, I would like to know who, I would like to know what significance Dak'tar IV possesses, if any, and I would like to know where my home is," he concluded, once more lifting his gaze to meet Yori's. Zack clearly saw Sephiroth's invisible smugness at his successful skirting of the real answer, and wondered whether Yori would dare to question it.

He didn't, though his disappointment was evident.

"I see." The explanation was plausible, Yori supposed, though failed to explain what he'd hoped it would. He realized his hope had been futile; Sephiroth would not tell him anything he did not wish to tell him, though for all Yori knew, his scenario could very well be true. He debated questioning him about the intense Force signature he'd felt, which he believed must have been linked to their appearance … But it could just as easily have not been, which he was certain Sephiroth would say, if he didn't claim ignorance of it entirely. And, of course, it did not explain the strong presences sitting across the table from him.

Clearly, Sephiroth was not to be outmaneuvered … this time.

"Very well." Yori cleared his throat and chose to press on. He tapped a button on his console; a large orb sprung into existence above the center of the table and began to slowly rotate. Zack leaned forward, interested. The projection was slightly transparent, with a bluish cast to it, like the one he'd seen before. Despite that, washed-out colors were still discernible – large swaths of mottled green circled the globe, covering the majority of it, and broken up only by haphazard blotches of deep indigo, as if a careless painter had dabbed fitfully at it with a brush.

"This is Circarpous V, known locally as Mimban. It is located in the Expansion Region on the Nanth'ri Trade Route," Yori began. "As I said, we have a few stops to make prior to Csilla; this is one of them. The planet is covered primarily with jungle and swampland, and is very sparsely populated with only about a million inhabitants – primarily the indigenous Mimbanites and Coway. There are also a handful of old Imperial mining towns, but neither should concern us – the towns contain only Mimbanites, as the Empire abandoned them a decade ago, and the rest of the locals keep to themselves, mostly underground. There is nothing to interest us in the towns; the mining sites themselves are highly radioactive, in any case.

"What I am interested in are the old ruins scattered throughout the jungle. They are numerous, built by some vanished civilization, and are worthy of study, since they've been largely ignored by both the human settlers and the Empire. Additionally, the planet is the source of Thaissen crystals, which I hope to acquire for my own purposes."

Yori cleared his throat. "Though you have no obligation to accompany me to the planet, you are most certainly invited. It is rare that I have visitors, and you may find an expedition to the planet's surface to be … refreshing after the confinement of the ship."

Zack's eyes lit up, and he had to work hard to smother the grin that threatened to spread across his face. Through he wasn't sure what half the terms were, it was such a thrill to hear the briefing, to have it resemble those he'd gotten numerous times back at ShinRa, but about Wutai or Junon or Mideel … and here it was a planet! A real life alien planet, with exotic landscapes and plants, and all sorts of weird alien life running around … Gaia, he couldn't believe it, and it was all he could do not to get up and bounce around in glee. For the life of him, he felt fourteen again and practically buzzing with the excitement of preparing for a new mission with Angeal to some place he'd never been and could only imagine. He cast his gaze to Sephiroth.

"What d'you say, Seph? Could be fun! Better than any research you'll get here."

"Hm." Sephiroth made a show of considering the offer, if only to needle Zack. "I don't know. You have a lot to catch up on regarding galactic affairs." At the C'mon, are you serious? expression he was given, he relented. "But it's not as if we have anything else to do. I wouldn't mind seeing this planet."

Satisfied, Yori smiled. "Excellent. It will take us roughly three days to get there after we finish stocking up on supplies. I recommend you rest and make whatever preparations you may need – I have a variety of gear available. Keep in mind, we will likely be staying several days planetside, not necessarily in the shuttle, and the wildlife may be unfriendly. You'll find additional information on the local fauna in the ship's databanks." He stood; the SOLDIERs followed suit. "Anything else, do not hesitate to ask around, or, failing that, come find me. You have free reign of the ship, but please stay out of the artifact rooms, as they house some rather … personal … collections."

Sephiroth nodded. "Understood."

"Got it!" Zack gave a mock salute. Now that he was up and about, he was itching to explore the ship further. A certain restlessness had settled itself upon him, and he keenly felt the need to move. Maybe there'd even be some kind of exercise or training room – that would be ideal! He could use the practice, and his muscles longed for the feel of the swing of the Buster Sword. Besides, the kata helped to calm him, and he desperately needed the time alone to think. He still felt swamped by … well, everything.

The holoprojection flickered and vanished as Yori shut it down, and they followed him out the door.

"Where're ya off to now, Seph?" Zack wondered.

"Research." Sephiroth didn't need to see the answering smirk on Zack's face to know it was there. "I'd suggest the same for you, but I know by now that it's futile."

"Hey, I'll get to it!" They parted ways from Yori as he returned to the bridge. They continued to the lift, Zack bouncing on his toes. "… Eee-ventually. Gotta scout out our surroundings first!"

"The cafeteria, you mean?"

Zack waved a hand, making a noise of dismissal. "I've found that already."

"Why am I not surprised?"

The other rolled his eyes, but chose to ignore the comment. "There's even a menu and everything, and it looks great! … Except I can't read a word of it."

Sephiroth regarded him from across the elevator, and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Zack's eyes twinkled, knowing full well he'd left that opening and wondering what Sephiroth would say to it. Sephiroth's lips twitched, before he sighed. "I'll locate a children's picture menu for you."

"Oh, would you, Seph? That'd be swell." Zack grinned. "Say, could you read it to me, too?"

"Don't push your luck." The lift dinged to a stop, the door swished open. Sephiroth straightened and strode from the car. "There's a test on your Aureks, Beshes, and Creshes at the end of the week."

Zack blinked, taken aback. "On my … on my what? … Seph?" Baffled, Zack hurried after him. "You're not serious are you? On my what? Seph!"

Sephiroth could only chuckle to himself.

It was good to be alive again.

Zack swung the Buster Sword in a wide, slow arc, focusing on the easy movement of his muscles as his arms guided the blade. As he brought it toward his right, he dropped the tip, simultaneously stepped forward, once, with his left foot, and swung it out, forward, and up at an angle across his body, pivoting just so. At the height of the uppercut, he allowed the blade to carve an arc over his head, stepped with his right foot, and brought it back down at another diagonal, to cross the first. Keeping the movements leisurely and smooth, he now stepped backward, flowing into a sequence of deliberate blocks. Then, with a sudden explosion of power, he leapt forward with a series of abrupt jabs at his imaginary foe, lashed out with the weapon, spun, tripped the enemy, finished him with a final thrust, and flowed once more back into the slow, meditative movements of before. Sweat glistened on his brow.

After some exploration, Zack had finally stumbled onto the training room's entrance on the lowest level of the ship. It was surprisingly large, the training room – not large enough that he wanted to be stuck doing laps around the perimeter for an extended period of time, but certainly large enough for just about anything else he wanted to do. The bulkhead arced high overhead, many times his own height, and he guessed that this entire section of the ship had been hollowed out specifically for the space. Large windows on the slanted ceiling opened onto a spectacular view of the stars, which Zack appreciated, and it looked like retractable panels covered additional windows along the walls. An alcove far to one side of the room contained a handful of some kind of exercise machinery – at least that's what Zack assumed they were; he had yet to puzzle them out – and there was an array of practice weapons nearby, on the inside wall. The lights were a little on the low side at the moment. Zack hadn't figured out how to brighten them, but that suited him just fine, allowing for a quiet, contemplative atmosphere.

He'd left to fetch his sword and change into more appropriate attire for a workout, and was glad to see the room just as quiet and empty upon his return. After a few laps to get his blood flowing, he'd launched into a strenuous serious of exercises designed to burn up his restlessness before the kata, which were at once both achingly familiar and strangely new.

He'd done these exercises countless times back at ShinRa, in SOLDIER … he remembered keeping pace with Kunsel, each striving to out-do the other, remembered Angeal's gruff voice barking out the numbers in the background, behind the sound of his heavy breathing. He remembered counting them himself, in his head, when Angeal was no longer there to count for him, and remembered his own voice shouting them, between words of encouragement, at new recruits taking the SOLDIER exams. And the nostalgia there ached, because of what it was all connected to, and because of what he wished to have back, but would never have again, even if he were still on Gaia.

Despite that, however, it was all new and fresh, almost as if he'd never done them before, except he had, because his muscles remembered them, and he had the scars to prove it. It was almost like he'd felt when he received his first Mako injection – everything felt different, unfamiliar, more than it had before. And it wasn't just this, these exercises, but everything. The movements came too fast for his liking, or too slow; clothing was either too soft or too abrasive, mostly the latter; the air was too cold and too full of distracting currents that sabotaged his focus, and too full of scents that were so familiar as to be overwhelming, or so strange as to be entirely unsettling and mildly claustrophobic.

The sounds he heard were similarly remarkable. As he moved through his slow dance with the sword, keenly aware through his bare fingers of each strand, each small imperfection, in the woven fabric wrap on the hilt, he heard the material creak, loudly, distinctly. He heard the blade not merely whisper through the air, but sing, heard his boots brush and tap and stomp the floor, and their echoes in the cavernous room as the sounds bounced from the walls, and the echoes of the echoes. Beyond that, and beyond his breathing and heartbeat and the very sound of the air itself, he heard, clearly, the all-encompassing hum of the ship, as if it was a living beast with him inside it, breathing with a continuous purr of energy and activity and voices, all blending together into an entangled symphony of tones and vibrations.

It was this that he struggled to tune out, even as he could pick out the clear, bell-like conversations of those who passed in the hallway outside, though the thick bulkhead door was sealed. This, and the sharpness of his eyesight, which tried to dazzle him with the stars above, or the numerous gleaming surfaces of the ship, or the intricate details of the workings of everything. It was a Mako high all over again, because he hadn't felt, or seen, or heard, or smelled, or tasted since his death. And although he knew he'd sensed in some way in the Lifestream, because he could hear and see and feel things there, too, he now knew that it was fundamentally different from the senses of life. He might as well have been blind and deaf before he awoke back on the planet, for that's almost how the shock of sudden awareness struck him. So new now, and freshly amazing in a way that had no words …

And painful, he thought, remembering the spear of agony that had been Jenova. What a welcome back to the world of the living. He winced, his shoulder giving a sympathetic twinge.

But, looking past that to now … after so many years of nothingness, as far as his body was concerned, to finally feel again … he had utterly no idea what he'd been missing. It was overwhelming just how intense everything was, though he tried not to show it – it had been long enough since his days as a newbie SOLDIER Third, and he had no desire for a repeat of that silliness. Besides, though it was more incredible than he could say, right now he just wanted … silence.

He wanted, more than anything else at that moment, to just turn everything off. It was almost too much, the ultra-enhanced senses coupled with the strangeness of their current predicament. He was past feeling like he'd had the rug torn out from under him, and more like he was far into the free fall, but one that was buffeted and spun and tumbled by turbulent winds.

Makes me wonder … does Sephiroth feel like this? He hadn't mentioned it, not really, though Zack knew him well enough to know that he was unsettled and likely overwhelmed as well. But what about … the intensity of everything? Zack had been entirely unprepared for that, never mind that he'd been unprepared to live again, in the first place. But he'd seen no sign that Sephiroth had been affected that way. Maybe he'd simply gotten over it, or was just better at hiding it. Or maybe he really hadn't experienced coming to life the same way Zack had. After all, he'd been operating on the fringes of life this whole time, through the Remnants or clones, and he'd returned to life once already. Heck, he hadn't truly joined the Lifestream until at least a year after Zack had – he'd still had his body, at least. So, maybe life for him had never lost its familiarity, the way it had for Zack.

That also made him wonder … did Sephiroth miss the Lifestream like he did? He wouldn't go so far as to say he wanted to be back there, but … well …

It's just … I wasn't … I feel so alone now. The Lifestream had been a warm bath of sunshine, of soothing voices and presences, some of which he knew and loved. They'd surrounded him and spoke to him, the soul of the Planet, and it felt like the glorious bliss between dreams and awakening, where you could linger forever in perfect contentment. Experiencing that, being there, especially for as long as Zack had … it changed a person. You became a part of that, and they became a part of you. It was wonderful and so comfortable, and it made it easy to see how that existence could supplant the one he'd known before. It wasn't long before he'd felt that this was right and where he belonged … especially with Aerith and Angeal there.

So, now, despite the incredible gift of life … it felt like something dear to him had been ripped away. He was alone, but alone in a way that made his soul feel like it was empty. Like there were pieces of him missing, and he was cold, in this barren world of nothing and metal. He longed for the presence of the Lifestream, for their calming voices, and not the harsh, clanging, chaotic voices he heard now, and couldn't escape.

It was a dichotomy, the opposing things he felt now, being alive.

Most of all, he longed for Aerith and Angeal. To think of them now made his heart clench painfully, in a way that it hadn't since his death. He missed them. He didn't think he'd ever have to miss anyone ever again, after dying, but here he was, doing just that. And it hurt. Even though he knew with his very soul where they were, because he'd been there, and that they were fine and there was nothing wrong with them, or wrong with where they were … it was still wrong, because they weren't here.

He knew he had no reason to be sad that they were … dead, he might as well admit it … but he was. Maybe he was just sad for himself, if not for them, he really didn't know. But he loved Aerith, so much. He wanted to spend his entire life with her, or afterlife, it didn't matter as long as it was with her. He wanted to hold her and never let go, because she was his light and his better half, and his entire reason for living and trying … But that was gone now. Now, that great Barrier had been placed between them, and what shouldn't have been sad … was. Being alive was a miracle he had no right to be anything but profoundly grateful for. But how was it okay to be alive when she was not?

As for Angeal … the old pain of losing him was fresh again. He wanted to hear his mentor's voice, listen to his ridiculous stories, be scolded for his carelessness, bask in his approval. He wanted to tease him about being old and stuffy and a grump and a mama chocobo, drive him to growing more gray hairs, spar with him and lose because Angeal had always been more awesome, and tackle him in a hug that he'd pretend to escape. But he had no hope of doing that now … and he felt, again as he'd had when Angeal had gone the first time, that he'd missed something important. That he hadn't listened enough to his mentor when he'd had the chance, that he hadn't spent the time with him that he should have, and that there was some crucial piece of wisdom that he hadn't learned yet … and now never would.

Zack's arms trembled. It threw off his swing. He tried to compensate, to continue, but overreached with the next movement and caused himself to stagger.

What on Gaia was he doing? Mourning them? It was ridiculous, any logical person could see that. Zack had a deeper understanding of things, having been to the Lifestream himself. There was no need to worry, to be afraid, to be unhappy. It was important that he make the most of his second chance, for, through it, he'd found Sephiroth and rescued him. And he would never give that up. What were these feelings? He didn't need them.

He'd live for Sephiroth now.

But the feelings were there, much as he wished they weren't. He was empty and incomplete, adrift in a place he wasn't sure he wanted to be. He didn't know where he was going, or what he was trying for. What was out there, for him? What was the point? What on Gaia was he doing?

The point of his sword slowly fell to the ground. He realized he was covered in sweat, and that he was no longer sure just how long he'd been practicing. There really wasn't a good way to tell the time in here, with the unchanging starscape above him. He swiped the back of his arm against his forehead, irritated at the way his hand shook.

He should probably track down Sephiroth again, maybe share some of his thoughts. As awkward as the man sometimes was, often times he could provide a good perspective. And, really, despite the nagging reservations some part of him still had, Sephiroth could still offer a good arm to lean on. With his other two sources of support gone now, Seph's was the only one he had left.

He couldn't forget, of course, that Cloud was still out there, somewhere. And that was the whole point of things, now, wasn't it? To get back home. To get back to the one other person he still had left, because, maybe with that, he wouldn't feel so much as if his spirit had been sundered. Maybe, on Gaia, he'd feel that much closer to Aerith and Angeal.

But, looking up at the stars … where did you even begin? They were so far away, and so, so many … What was the concept of home, in the face of that? It was so tiny as to be insignificant. How could he ever find it? Was it even out there? Maybe it was gone for good, or if it wasn't, maybe he'd never make it back. Maybe it was too far, or maybe there just wasn't the time in his lifetime to find it.

Could he bear it if Aerith and Angeal dwindled to just a tiny memory, swept away into the distant past? If, years and years from now, he and Sephiroth were still out here, having never found them, or Cloud, or home? What would be the point of things then? What would be the point of anything, anymore? Would he move on? Could he? They'd been the center of his existence for as long as he'd known them, but, if he lived long enough, even a normal lifetime, their time would certainly not even approach the majority of it. Could he stand it?

He didn't think he could.

Well, he'd just have to find home, then. There was no way around it, because there was no other possible solution.

A heartfelt sigh escaped him, and he swung the Buster Sword onto his back, foregoing the usual flourish. Its weight settled onto him, as heavy as it had ever been. The pink ribbon around the hilt tickled his neck. He let his arm fall, and simply stared at nothing for a moment, trying to just let things sink in.

An unexpected noise behind him had him pivoting, dropping into a ready stance in the blink of an eye. His sword was out and angled for the throat of the person who'd just entered the room.

"Whoa! Let's uh … let's not be hasty here! I'm sorry …?" The man had his hands up, frozen, staring down the point of the blade. He took a step back.

Startled at his own actions, Zack did likewise, pulling the sword away. "Sorry! You, uh … surprised me, that's all." He shrugged, offering a sheepish grin. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt anyone."

Warily, the man eyed him, slowly dropping his arms. Zack watched him back. Backlit by the hallway light, he was a little shorter than Zack, with dirty blond hair, and dressed for working out. A woman and two other men stood behind him, also looking at Zack as if he was a loose cannon. They were dressed similarly.

Zack cleared his throat. "… Well … I guess I'll let you guys get to work then. I'm done here." He moved to head around them, uncomfortable, and wanting to put the incident behind him.

"Sure … Were you practicing in here?"

Zack paused. "Yeah." He inclined his head to the sword now settled once more upon his back.

"In the dark?" The man was skeptical.

The SOLDIER frowned. "In the …?" Realization struck him, just as the woman tinkered with a panel set into the wall, bringing the lights on. "Ah." He blinked rapidly, turning his head down at the sudden change in brightness. The light stung his eyes. "No wonder I thought it was a little dim." He grinned. Then, at an effort to remove some of the oddness they all regarded him with, he reached out a hand. "I'm new here. Zack Fair." SOLDIER First Class was on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to hold it back.

Somewhat hesitant, the man shook his hand. "Tristin Ivers." He inclined his head at the others in the group. "This is Chay and Warwick, and this-"

"Hey, you're the guy the captain brought aboard, aren't you? The one they sent to Sick Bay?" The woman stepped forward, interrupting.

Zack blinked, unsure if being famous for that was a good thing. "Uh. Yeah …?"

"I remember you! I met you in the hallway when they discharged you. Remember?" She shook his hand. "Emre Jyrki, but you can just call me Em."

"O-oh … right, yeah!" Now that she mentioned it, she did look a little familiar. "With the … that other guy, right? Yeah, I got lost again, after your directions, but it's all good now." He grinned.

The lady elbowed Tristin. "See, what did I tell you? He's got hair like a bunch of nexu spines."

"I'm seeing it, but I'm not believing it."

Zack chuckled weakly, running a hand through said hair. He supposed he really did need to get it cut, if it deserved cracks like that. And what the heck was a nexu?

"So, you look pretty good," she continued. That brought Zack up short. Was she checking him out? He picked at the edge of his thin shirt, a little self-conscious. Maybe he should have found something else … "I mean, since I saw you last," she clarified. "Are you staying with us long?"

"Oh. Uh … I dunno, I might. It really all depends … we're trying to get back to our home planet, and Yori's promised to help us. So I guess I'll be hanging around for however long that'll take."

"Where are you from?" Tristin asked.

"Gaia. Ever heard of it?"

The other man shook his head. "No … can't say I have. Where is it?"

A shrug. "I don't know."

"You don't … you don't know?" Tristin was incredulous. "How'd you get from there to Dak'tar IV, if you don't know?"

"I don't know that, either."

They all stared at him. "Is there anything you do know?"

Zack smirked. "Not much."

One of the other men, Warwick, shook his head. "What a piece of work."

Zack's expression broadened into a smug grin. "That's what a lot of people think."

Em shook her head, smiling. "Unbelievable."

"Well, at least he's got a sword to match his ego," Tristin said. He walked around Zack to get a better look at it. Zack turned his head, watching him. "Would you look at the size of that thing? It's massive."

"It's ridiculous," the last man, Chay, spoke up.

Both amused and a little defensive, Zack responded, "It's not so ridiculous if it does the job, is it?"

"Yes, it is," he disagreed. "Nobody uses swords like that. Nobody uses swords, period. Are you from a low-rent planet, or something? Something like that will just slow you down. We use blasters out here. Or force pikes, or vibroblades. Someone will carve you up before you ever have a chance to swing that thing, or melt it to slag. What a waste of space," he scoffed.

Rather taken aback, Zack stared at him. Clearly, the guy had no concept of SOLDIER reflexes, but it was the comment about melting his precious sword to slag that got him. Protectively, he lifted a hand to grasp its hilt. Was that really a danger? Were there weapons here, common weapons, that could do such a thing? The Buster Sword could distribute heat with remarkable efficiency, but it wasn't invulnerable. Zack didn't want to lose it.

"Yeah, well … I'll take care of it."

"Sure." Chay smirked. "You'd be better off leaving it at home. It's only good as a display piece anyway – that thing couldn't possibly be practical."

It was here that Zack's grin returned. His mood lightened; suddenly, he was itching for a good contest, for the distraction it would provide. "Oh yeah? You willing to bet on that?"

Chay stepped up to him. "Is that a challenge?"

"You bet."

"All right. Hmm …" The man swung out a hand to clap Tristin on the shoulder, who started. "You fight my pal here-"

"What! You don't have the guts to fight me yourself, after that?" Zack exclaimed.

Chay shrugged. "Hey, I'm a blaster man! I can't be expected to fight with something as archaic as a sword. Now, Tristin, here, he's a real pro with a blade. He'll give you a run for your money."

"Thanks a lot, pal," Tristin muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Anytime."

Zack was skeptical. "Hm. Well, alright … but you're gonna have to earn the right to face the Buster." Here, he swung the sword off and headed for the weapons rack on the other side of the gym. Unenhanced, these guys wouldn't stand a chance against the sword – one swing would knock them clear out of the arena, and he wanted to at least give them a fighting chance. Sort of. He was a SOLDIER after all. "We'll use these practice blades, and if you beat me, you can challenge my sword."

Tristin and Chay looked at each other, before Tristin shrugged. He didn't care.

"Fair enough."

Zack chose two standard blades, made of some kind of unsharpened metal, and was unexpectedly pleased that they had a decent heft to them. He'd half expected them to feel like twigs. Reverently laying the Buster on the floor near the wall, he tossed one sword to his opponent, and twirled the other. They moved to face off.

As they sized each other up, Emre took a moment to investigate the giant blade on the floor. She tried to lift it, and gasped in surprise.

"Holy Sith, this is heavy!"

"Did it look light to you?" Zack quipped.

She waved Chay and Warwick over, and the three struggled to lift the weapon. Finally, though it took all three of them, they managed to get it off the ground.

"Careful," he said, lightly. He watched, amused, with half his attention still on his opponent, who, by now, was staring in shock.

"How could you possibly use this thing?"

"Well, what did you expect? I'm a SOLDIER." He smirked at them. "Now," turning to the suddenly apprehensive Tristin, he spun his blade, "didn't you have a challenge for me?" Grinning widely, he lunged.

to be continued …