CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Jacob, look at me," said Dad.
I opened my eyes again slowly and looked up at him.
"I loved your mother," he began. "Body and soul, from the day I met her to the day I scattered earth onto her coffin. I never once looked at another woman when I was with her and haven't since. She was my life. I'm not Embry's father, Jacob - Josh Uley is."
We weren't related? We hadn't done anything wrong after all? My heart which had been thumping raggedly, almost seemed to stop before it lurched on again faster than before.
"How...how do you know it's him?" I stammered.
"Because he told me before he left. Josh and I were good friends at one time, but he was always a bit of a fly-by-night. He didn't stay faithful for even six months after he married Allison. Tiffany Call was only one in a long line of women he entertained himself with. Allison caught him out once playing too close to home and he went further afield after that - to the Makah tribe in Neah Bay. He told me Tiffany was pregnant right before Allison finally kicked him out and I haven't seen or heard from him since."
"Why did Tiffany leave her own tribe and come here?" I asked.
"Her parents were very set in their ways and they gave her a choice; leave or give up the baby. She didn't want to give him up, so she came here. It was the only place she could think of."
"Her being here must have been hard on Sam's Mom," I said.
"Allison doesn't know. I'm the only one who does and your Mom did, of course. That's why Tiffany never told Embry who his father is. It was hard enough for her to settle in here with people seeing her as an outsider, so she didn't want to make things more difficult for herself or Embry by mentioning Josh."
I dropped my head into my hands. I was flooded with relief, but at the same time pain knifed through me as I thought about what I had done to Embry. I could have killed him; the one person I loved more than anyone else; even more than Dad. How could I ever take that back?
I burst into tears and began to sob, letting out all the painful emotions I had suffered over the past few days, which had stayed mostly locked inside while I was in my wolf form. Dad simply sat there in silence, reaching out a hand to rest on my shoulder, waiting for me to get it together so that I could talk to him properly - about everything.
It took me a few minutes before I was able to speak and then much to my surprise Dad passed me an open bottle of beer he had been drinking. I swallowed some and scrubbed a hand over my eyes.
"There's some things I need to tell you too," I said. I might as well get it all out in the open, although I was still worried about his reaction.
"Go on." He took the beer back and had a mouthful.
I hesitated. What should I say? Beat about the bush? Drop hints? Try to make light of it? Just say it.
"I'm gay," I blurted. "And I love Embry."
I looked down at the floor. He would hate hearing that; I knew he would.
"I'm not blind, Jacob," he said quietly. "Do you think I've just ignored you over the past few months? How you've been behaving; how you suffered since your birthday?"
"You knew?"
"Not right away, but yes, I caught on eventually."
"Oh, God," I groaned.
"Did you think I'd be angry with you? Or ashamed?" Dad went on. "I love you, son. I'm not going to judge you, or criticise you for being yourself. I just wish you felt you could talk to me before. And I wish I'd known there was gossip about where Embry came from; I would have told you sooner. Sam didn't even tell me Embry had phased until you ran away; he's obviously having difficulty getting his head around this too."
I looked up at last. He was smiling at me and I couldn't believe it. I hesitantly told him a little more, about how I found out Embry liked me and the agony I had gone through since he disappeared for a week and then broke up with me when it was clear he didn't want to. Dad was sympathetic to it all and I wondered why I had ever worried about what his reaction would be. He had always supported me, been there for me whatever I did, so why should this have been any different?
Eventually the conversation turned to my own absence after I'd run away following the fight with Embry and Dad told me he had called the school to say I had gone down with a severe bout of influenza and couldn't get out of bed. He had told Quil the same thing and I knew I would have to carry on the story, much as I didn't want to lie to Quil. He had been such a good friend to me through all of this and now I was going to have to make excuses to him as Embry had been doing to both of us. In addition to what Dad said, Sam had been very firm in his instructions that I talk to no one outside of the pack about the shape-shifters, so I continued with the story that I had become sick very quickly and been too ill in bed even to bother with text messages.
"Embry hasn't been at school either," Quil informed me when I talked to him on the phone. "His Mom said he had food poisoning, but he hasn't answered any messages I sent him. Have you been able to talk to him at all?"
"Once, right before I got sick," I said carefully. "We had a fight. I have some apologising to do."
"Why? What happened?" asked Quil.
"Oh, you don't want to hear the details. Just the usual shit that's been going on for weeks."
"You think you can sort it out?"
"I don't know," I said with a sigh. "I hope so."
I couldn't imagine Embry letting me anywhere near him now, but I had to try. Somehow we had to work through this, for the pack if nothing else. I was already in my room and I lay down on the bed, staring at my cellphone for a moment. He probably wouldn't even answer if he knew it was me. I opened up the settings and switched off the caller ID sending, then selected his number and pressed 'call' before I could talk myself out of it. He might not answer an anonymous call either, but it was worth a shot.
"Hello?" Embry said a few seconds later.
"Em, it's me." I prayed he wouldn't hang up.
"Jacob..." There was silence for a moment. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Sam found me." I was almost scared to so much as hint at what we had been through before I ran off, but I had to. "I need to talk to you about what happened, it's important. Can I see you?"
"I...I don't know."
"I won't hurt you, Embry, I promise."
"Can we just...talk at Sam's? Tomorrow?"
He was scared to be alone with me and I couldn't blame him one bit; I had almost torn his throat out. I cringed at the memory. I wanted to tell him what I found out there and then, knowing he must be feeling as sick as I had - probably more so since I'd made him give in when he tried so hard to avoid getting close to me - but at the same time I didn't want to do it on the phone.
"Ok," I said. "When will you be there?"
"Early morning."
"I will too."
"I better go," Embry said then.
"Sure. See you tomorrow."
I ended the call, my hand shaking. At least he was going to talk to me, although I doubted now that we could even be friends again.
I didn't sleep a wink that night, but lay staring at the ceiling, glancing at the luminous hands on my clock every so often as the hours crawled by towards dawn. I got up early, took a shower and drank coffee and by then Dad was up too. He tried to tell me everything was going to be alright, that the pack were very close to each other and that I didn't need to be nervous about joining them, but we both knew it wasn't that I was worrying about.
I set off just after nine and headed slowly towards Sam's, dragging my feet and making the short journey take almost twenty minutes. I was filled with trepidation, convinced that I wouldn't be able to work things out with Embry and that the others would condemn me for attacking him, even though Sam hadn't. I knew I was going to have to tell Sam what Dad had told me too. The pack Alpha had been good to me, but he still made me nervous and I was worried he may shoot the messenger.
When I reached the house I knocked on the door and a moment later it was opened by a girl with three terrible scars down the right side of her face. I did my best to fix my eyes on hers, guessing staring at the scars would make her uncomfortable. I knew she was Emily, even though I hadn't actually seen her that night when Sam brought me back from the woods.
"Hey, is Sam here?" I asked.
"Yes, he's around the back of the house. You must be Jacob." She smiled at me. "I'm Emily. They're all out there, just go around. I'm cooking everyone some brunch."
"Ok, thanks."
I turned away and headed slowly around the side of the building. I could hear voices as I approached and I paused before I got to the rear corner again, took a deep breath to steady my nerves and then continued. A wooden picnic table with benches was situated not far from the kitchen door and Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry were all sitting at it. Embry and Jared had their backs to me and the other two were facing.
"Hey, Jacob. You made it, then. Come over and sit down," Sam said as soon as he saw me. Paul just grinned.
Embry and Jared didn't turn around, but Jared greeted me as soon as I had walked around the table and sat down on the bench in the spot Sam vacated. He touched Paul lightly on the shoulder and after a moment the other boy got up and followed Sam into the house. Jared was quick to join them, leaving only Embry and I sitting opposite each other. Embry's head was bowed and he didn't look up.
I wasn't sure what to say, or at least how to begin and maybe half a minute passed with me just looking at him while he stared down at his hands which were folded on the table in front of him.
"I'm sorry," he said then before I could speak.
"You didn't do anything," I protested at once. "I'm the one who needs to say sorry."
"I could have told you...something."
"Sam told me you couldn't say anything."
"But I could have made more effort to stop you touching me. I just...I don't know, I tried, but even then I couldn't help it. I felt sick with myself after. Are you still mad with me?"
"God, no, I feel pretty sick too. I'm so sorry I hurt you. You must have been through hell and I almost killed you." My voice shook and I cleared my throat and grabbed the glass of juice Paul had left behind, gulping some. I had to tell him what I learned right away.
"I talked to Dad when I got back," I continued, deciding to just spit it out. "We're not related. Josh Uley is your father."
He didn't even question what I said. He just dropped his face into his hands and wept. Between the pair of us, it seemed we had done nothing but cry since my birthday. I reached across the table and touched his arm and when he still didn't look up, I rose quickly and went around the other side of the table. I dropped onto the bench next to him, one leg either side of it and rested my arm around his shoulders.
I expected him to maybe flinch or even jump up and back away from me, but instead he half turned towards me and then fell against me, his face pressing into my shoulder. After a moment his arms crept around my waist and I hugged him tight. I hadn't expected it to be so easy. I had been sure he wouldn't want me near him now, but he didn't seem to care about the fight, only that he'd had to keep his distance from me.
"I love you," I whispered. At last I could say it without thinking he would run away.
Embry drew back, his head still lowered and wiped his face with his sleeve.
"I love you too," he said and finally looked up and met my eyes.
I lifted my hand and touched his face, longing to kiss him and wondering if the others were watching out of the window. I could hear their muffled voices coming from inside the house, but at that point I didn't care whether they could see us or not. I leaned in to kiss Embry and then stopped inches away. Something strange was happening and I sat still, stunned.
Everything around us began to shrink into my peripheral vision and then vanish completely, leaving nothing but Embry. His eyes seemed to be pulling me in, anchoring me somehow, while an incredible heat filled me - not the almost violent burning I had felt right before I phased, but an all-encompassing warmth. I continued staring into his eyes unblinking, and yet I almost felt as if my eyelids were flickering, displaying single frames of images of just Embry. It took my breath away and time stopped as I just sat there, lost in him. When the rest of the world gradually came back into focus, I sat back and shook myself.
"What happened?" Embry murmured.
"I think I...Imprinted."
I knew I had. I already loved him, but now something was different. It was as if he was the centre of my world - my whole world - and I knew in an instant I would die protecting him if it came to it. I felt my lips stretching into a smile and I found I still couldn't look away from him. I took his hands and just sat there holding them and gazing at him. Neither of us spoke; it was as if all the pain and horror we had been through in the past few weeks had never happened.
"Alright, break it up, guys, brunch is coming," Sam said suddenly, stepping out of the door. He sat down at the opposite side of the table and I turned to face forwards, still holding one of Embry's hands.
"You two ok?" Sam asked then and winked.
"Mm...yeah," Embry said and blushed.
"You saw?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm glad for you. It's kind of rough when you love someone, but Imprint on somebody else. So what else have you got to tell me? Come on, I can take it." He sighed and and folded his arms.
"You and Embry are brothers," I said without prevarication. Embry's hand clutched mine tighter and I saw the colour leak out of his face again.
"I figured it was more likely to be my Dad than yours or Quil's," Sam said to me. "And judging by the look on your faces when you were talking, it's obvious it's not Billy. I know what my Dad was like, or at least I heard. Don't look like that, Embry, it's not your fault. We just had a loser for a father, that's all."
Embry relaxed and flushed again, although this time it was clearly with pleasure that Sam was happy to acknowledge him as his brother. I filled them both in on the rest of what Dad had told me and it was agreed that it would all stay within the pack. There was no reason for anyone else to know and letting the secret spread further would only hurt Sam's mother and upset and annoy Embry's.
"Grub!" Paul emerged from the house at that moment with a large tray holding a dish of scrambled eggs, another of crisp bacon and a third of hash browns. Emily followed with a plate piled high with pancakes and a jug of maple syrup and Jared brought out a stack of plates. Everyone sat around the table together, Paul and Jared fighting for the bacon immediately.
"You're a pig, Lahote," Jared grumbled as Paul speared half a dozen slices of bacon in one go and dumped them onto his plate.
"What can I say? I like to eat." Paul just grinned and began shovelling eggs on top of the bacon.
"Are they always like this?" I whispered to Embry.
"Pretty much."
"Hey, Black, you know you still owe me a favour," Paul said suddenly, mumbling around a mouthful of food.
"What?" I finally let go of Embry's hand and picked up a fork instead.
"Condoms at the bonfire?"
"Oh..." I felt myself turning red as Sam and Emily both looked at me curiously and Embry let out a sudden giggle, which didn't exactly help the situation.
"They were for Quil," I said.
"Yeah, yeah," taunted Paul. "Anyway, this favour...I told you I'd call it in some day."
"Paul, give it up, eat your food," Sam told him.
"I just want my car fixing!" snorted Paul. "Old heap's manifold is corroded."
"Um...well, bring it over whenever you like," I said in relief. "If anything needs replacing I can get parts wholesale."
"Cool. Thanks, Jake." Paul grinned and turned his attention back to his plate.
The rest of the meal passed with much hilarity, following which Emily poured out coffee or juice for whoever wanted it and then took a comb and scissors to my hair while Sam talked to us all about the pack. I wasn't in the least happy about having my hair cut, but I knew it had to be done and Emily did make a pretty good job of it. Embry whispered that it suited me and that I looked 'cute'.
"Cute? God, I hope not," I muttered, grinning none the less.
In the afternoon we all headed down to the beach and to my surprise I found that I did get on pretty well with Paul and Jared once I gave them a chance. The five of us played football and fooled about, trying to throw each other in the sea. However, when Sam, Jared and Paul headed up the cliff to dive, Embry and I stayed on the beach, ignoring the others taunting us for not having the guts.
Finally I had Embry to myself, even though it was probably only going to be for a short while. I slid my arms around him, pulling him close to me and for the first time since my birthday weekend, he didn't hesitate in his response to my kisses. Our lips clung and we held each other tightly, once again everything around us seeming to slip away until eventually jeering comments from the others as they waded up the beach forced us apart.
"God help us when we all phase; you two better keep your thoughts to yourself!" Paul exclaimed.
"Well, we'll leave that until tomorrow," said Sam. "I need to get back now, I'm taking Em out."
"So am I," I said in a whisper. My arm was still resting around Embry's neck and as we turned away to leave the others, he brushed his lips against my forearm.
"Ten o'clock tomorrow at my place!" Sam called out and then everyone scattered.
"So where are you taking me?" Embry asked as we headed back up the path towards the reservation.
"I don't know, where would you like to go?" I kissed his ear as we walked and he shivered.
"It's a while since we had a date in your shed," he grinned. "Although I'm actually getting pretty hungry again too."
"Mm, let's go out and get some food then and have...um...dessert in the shed later," I smirked.
I steered him in the direction of my house, excited and very happy at last. It was difficult to believe that only twenty-four hours ago, both of us had been suffering so much. Now he was my Imprint, and he was my life.