Chapter 2
When Gilbert saw Eliot and Oz, a pang of irritation immediately clouded his mind. He couldn't accept it that Oz is someone so lowly that he immediately found a replacement despite saying those things just last Monday. It's only Monday today so it really irritates him how they can still be his students despite everything.
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"What is this?" Oz asked in disbelief. There's a wedding invitation flying everywhere – about Oz's and Eliot's wedding – and their faces were ex-marked with some sort of tape. He feels every embarrassed about it.
Eliot patted his head. "Don't worry. It just means that there is someone who really hates us and is now using this prank to bully us."
"And just after you told us about your relationship…" Sharon sipped her usual midday tea. Alice is eating the chicken ferociously it'll look like she's not hearing them at all, except for the fact that she reacts once in a while.
"Hey, Oz." Alice called, the bits of chicken are flying from her mouth. "Who do you think did that? You should thank them."
"Huh?" Eliot and Oz exclaimed in unison.
"I mean, there's no need to tell everyone about your relationship anymore." She said simple-mindedly. "You're going out anyway so there's really nothing wrong about it, right?"
"Well, that's true…" Oz uttered. "You're right, Alice! There's no need to be annoyed at the letter because it's even supporting our relationship!"
"Yeah, that's right." Eliot sipped his own tea. "I guess we shouldn't mind it too much then… except for the fact that it was really made to bully us."
"Yeah, I guess so." Oz laughed and all of them resumed their lively conversation.
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"And this is the reason why Juliet took her life." Gilbert narrated the story. "Your assignment is this. It's now time for your lunch." He wrote some questions on the board and immediately fixed his things. He then saw Eliot looking at him in a very rude way.
"Knightrey-san, do you have some questions?" He purposely asked, just to tell him that Gilbert can see him.
"No." He curtly answered before he stood up from his seat and approached Oz.
"Yoh, let's eat together." Oz invited while smiling.
"Sure." Eliot answered.
"Don't forget us!" Alice exclaimed.
"Of course. Because Alice is our friend, too." Oz chuckled.
"You two really look nice with each other." Their classmate, Leo, complimented. Sharon chuckled when Oz looked down, blushing. Gilbert already wants to leave but the scene is making him unable to. And he doesn't know why. He feels so annoyed and yet he can't even move. It really disgusts him to see Oz, a guy, flirting with Eliot, another guy. He knows that the two of them have nothing to do with him but it still irritates him to no end. His heart, no, his mind feels that he wants to hit Eliot; and for Oz, well, that guy is really a lowlife so…
"Thank you." Eliot smiled at Leo and the latter chuckled.
"Really now?" Gilbert found himself suddenly blurted that out. Everyone looked at him. Oz and Eliot also looked at him with a little confusion. Well, this is that kind of school after all. You can even voice your disgust with your students. "Those two look good together? They're disgusting, I tell you all." He then lit up a cigarette and left the classroom without any more word.
"Don't mind him." Leo consoled them. "Sensei is really just like that. He thinks that same-sex relationship is disgusting."
"Yeah, we know that." Oz said.
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It's lunchtime and it's been three weeks since Oz and Eliot went out together. They all went to the cafeteria and ate their lunch. They just finished their meal when a student suddenly came running.
"Hey, Knightray! Bezarius!" The student called. "Go to the lobby!"
"What… is this..?" Oz asked. All the students are looking at them. They are in the school lobby where a big banner is hanged.
"What kind of prank is this?" Sharon asked in annoyance.
"Well, it really means someone is pulling a prank on us on purpose." Eliot said.
"But…" Alice started. "Isn't that a bit too much for just a simple prank? I mean, to put a banner so big just so they can say that Oz and Eliot together are disgusting…"
"It's…" Oz remembered Gilbert's words about him being disgusting. It has been three weeks since Oz and Eliot went together but he still can't forget that guy. He knows that Eliot is doing his best. He appreciates all of Eliot's efforts… but it's still isn't enough to give his heart to him. It still belongs to the guy who dropped and shattered it without any much thought.
Oz's eyes widened when Eliot suddenly embraced him and kissed him on the forehead. "It's okay… I'll be here… That guy will never be able to tell you those things again…"
"Do you think sensei did this?" Leo asked them.
"Well, he did say those things earlier…" Alice said.
"As for me," Eliot said. "I don't think he did it. He already said those things earlier so he has made his point clear. There's no need for him to do this anymore."
"Yeah," Oz answered. "If it's him, he'd rather say it directly… I guess."
"We can't be sure, you know." Sharon said. "He might still be the one who did it."
"What a very nice banner." They heard the voice and turned to where it came from. Gilbert is smoking while walking. Break is together with him.
"That's rude, Gil!" He excitedly said while licking his lollipop.
"And there they are." Alice muttered.
"Sensei, are you the one who did this?" Leo asked.
"Why would I do something as stupid as this?" Gilbert asked while smoking. "Let the two of us pass, you idiotic students who only know how to prioritize their relationships over study." They went through the crowd of students and went totally out of sight. They went in the faculty room.
"You seemed really annoyed back there." Break said. "Is it because of those two kids? Bezarius and Knightrey, right?"
"Shut up." Gilbert said. He's still smoking. He also read the banner. He feels annoyed at himself for having a very complex feeling then. He feels that the banner is right and yet it feels so wrong that other students are telling that those two are disgusting. He somehow doesn't like it that others feel that way.
"You know, I've been noticing this lately." Break sat on his own chair and crossed his legs on the table while licking his spiral lollipop. "You're a bit emotionally disturbed when it comes to those two. Why is that?" He smirked when he saw Gilbert flinched at the statement.
"That's not true." Gilbert said and stood up from his seat. "I'll be leaving now."
"You can run way from me, Gil." Break shouted. "But you can never run away from your feelings!"
"Screw you!" Gilbert yelled and banged the door of the faculty room. His eyes widened when he saw Oz staring right into his eyes. Both of them were started to see each other so close. They were stunned for a while. Then Gilbert noticed his own reaction and remembered all of his annoyance.
"What are you doing here?" Gilbert almost shouted to him.
"I-I was sent here by Break-sensei…" Oz looked down. Gilbert looked so angry when he came out of the door that he wasn't able to see Oz trying to knock on the door.
"He's inside." He answered, a bit calmer than before.
"Ah, thank you." Oz entered the room and bowed to Break. "Sorry for intruding."
"Ah, yeah." Break licked his lollipop again. "Come in. Are you able to collect all of the papers from your classmates?"
"Ah, yes, sensei." Oz answered. Gilbert threw one last glance on the two people inside before the door closed once more.
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"Eliot?" Oz asked. "Where are we going?" He can see the sun setting from the horizon. The surrounding is almost dark. The trees are thick and there is not much light.
"I'll show you something." Eliot said and smiled. He's holding Oz by the hand and pulling him into some hidden forested area of the school. After a while, Eliot stopped. "We're here, I guess."
"Here?" Oz asked. "I can't see anything…"
"You'll see them." Eliot answered. He sounds excited.
"Alright then." Oz chuckled. After a while, little bright lights have started to gather in the place – hanging and floating like lighted snow. "W-Woah…"
"Aren't they beautiful?" Eliot asked. They can now see each other because of the fireflies' light.
"Yeah, they're beautiful…" Oz answered, feeling his heart getting light with happiness. The fireflies look like they are dancing and Oz and Eliot are in the middle of them. Eliot looked at him in seriousness.
"Oz, can I kiss you?" He asked. Oz felt himself froze.
"W-What?" He asked, praying he heard wrong.
"Can I kiss you?" He repeated. Oz looked down. "It's okay if you don't want to. You don't have to–" He was not able to finish when Oz pulled him closer from the neck and kissed him full in the lips. Eliot, having recovered from the shock, hugged Oz tighter and pulled him even closer. They can feel each other's warmth. It's a feeling of warmth and satisfaction, of delight and contentment.
"Eliot, drown my pain… Make me happy again…"
"I'll make you forget… everything… I'll fill you with happiness and contentment…"
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It's annoying… How can they just hold hands like that..? How can they do something like that..? It's really irritating me! Why would two guys act like that with each other? I don't believe that one male can love another like that. They're all lies..!
Gilbert woke up with a start. He immediately washed his face in the bathroom. He can't believe that those two invades even his dreams.
"Is it because of what I saw yesterday afternoon?" He asked.
Yesterday, he saw Oz and Eliot in the forest area of the school. Eliot is hugging Oz very tight and the two of them are kissing. It's one of his late afternoon habits to go to the wooded area of the school and to smoke there while watching the fireflies in their flight.
Yesterday, however, when he went there, he saw something he should never have seen. In the middle of the fireflies, two of his students are kissing intimately and hugging each other. It's like the two of them are unworldly beings in the middle of the fireflies' light of blessing. They are so beautiful to behold that their image of that moment is burned in Gilbert's mind. He tried to do many things but he just can't forget what he saw. He'd never seen someone so beautiful – especially two guys kissing.
He's so shocked at what he saw and yet he's very, very captivated…
He immediately shook his head to brush off the image from his head but it's no use. He drank so much yesterday that he even forgot to change his clothes. But the image remains… He continued to wash his face with water until almost his whole body is soaked. Then he remembered something.
"Uhm… Nightray-sensei, I… I l-like you… not as a mere teacher, but as a guy…"
"Why..?" He hit the wall of the bathroom. "Why can't I forget that? That stupid kid clearly said he likes me… and yet…"
"Oy, Gil?" Break knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?" When Gilbert didn't answer, he talked again. "I'll come inside your room if you don't answer."
Gilbert immediately grabbed a towel and opened the door. "What?" He asked.
"What's wrong with you?" Break asked when he saw how disheveled Gilbert looks. "You look like you just lost your job and your wife."
"Shut up." Gilbert muttered. "Teh? What do you want?"
"Well, you do know that you have a class today, right?" Break waved his lollipop n front of Gilbert's face. "You'll be later than you already are if you continue to be like that."
Gilbert scowled at him. He went to school about an hour and a half late. He went to the faculty room and stayed there for the rest of his morning period. When Break went to the faculty room in noon, he saw Gilbert smoking while looking sleepy and exhausted.
"Hey, I know something happened yesterday." Break said. "Does it have something to do with your favorite students?"
"Shut up." Gilbert exhaled smoke on Break's face. Break coughed and some veins of annoyance popped on his face.
"Fine!" Break snorted and went to his seat. He licked his lollipop silently.
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"The exams are coming closer again. There are only five days left before it." Gilbert told his class. "I don't want anyone failing this time. Review your lessons as much as you can and pass everything." Oz looked down when the students turned in his direction.
Gilbert hasn't looked at any of them directly ever since he saw the two of them the other night. He always avoids making eye contact. He feels ashamed of himself but he couldn't look at them.
It's P.E. and Oz went to the male's locker to change clothes. Eliot and the others are at his heels. When he opened the door of his locker, however, he froze at the sight inside.
"What is that?" Eliot asked. Their other classmates also looked at it and read some of the lines.
"Kissing Eliot in the middle of the fireflies…" One student read.
"Hey," Leo called. "What does it mean when it said you should be more discrete in your actions and shouldn't just kiss in some dark place in the school?"
"Don't mind it." Oz said. He even chuckled slightly. "We'll be late if we don't go to the class."
"Are you okay, Oz?" Eliot asked while they are walking to the ground. "Sorry I got you into trouble."
"It's alright." Oz answered and smiled.
After that, they continued their class in the afternoon.
"Bring it to my office later, Bezarius. Your break is about 5pm, right?" Break said. "Well then, I'll be going now."
"Ah, yes." Oz answered. When Break closed the door behind him, he immediately grinned evilly.
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Oz feels a bit different in the situation than before. He can feel that Gilbert is avoiding him for no reason. Yesterday, he was about to buy something on the vending machine. Gilbert is there trying to buy something as well. When he saw Oz, however, he immediately turned around and walked away. The same thing happened earlier. He went to the library and saw Gilbert. When the teacher saw him, however, he immediately walked out of the library.
Now, he's about to go to the faculty room. He can't afford to see Gilbert and to have him walk away again. It's enough that he was utterly rejected once. He can't take it that he's being rejected repeatedly judging from Gilbert's actions. He really wished that Gilbert might be in some class. He knocked but no one answered so he opened the door.
"Hello? Break-sensei?" Oz called. He remembered what Break said about putting the papers on his table in case he's not there. "Well, he said that so I'll be putting it on his table." He's also thankful that Gilbert is not there.
He was about to put the papers on Break table, however, when the door suddenly opened and Gilbert came in smoking. They both looked at each other in a start.
"What are you doing here?" Gilbert immediately asked.
"I-I was asked by Break-sensei to bring these papers to his desk in case he's not here." Oz answered politely. Gilbert, however, turned around immediately and was about to leave when Oz called him again. "Sensei, you don't have to leave. I'll go once I finish this."
"What do you mean?" Gilbert asked. He's still facing the door, the opposite side of where Oz is.
"I'm not saying this for certain… but I think you're avoiding me for no particular reason." Oz said directly. It's in one of the rules after all.
"What kind of non-sense are you blabbering about?" Gilbert forcefully threw his cigarette on the floor and smashed it with his right foot. "Don't get too full of yourself, kid."
"Even now," Oz said, not bothering to address the insult. "Even now, you can't look at me. Am I that disgusting for you to walk away whenever you see me?"
"Tch," Gilbert turned around and looked at Oz directly. "Are you sure you're not hallucinating, stupid kid? I can look at you directly." He looked at Oz's clear emerald eyes and remembered how they looked when he was kissed by Eliot. He saw Oz's wavy blonde hair and remembered how it shines like the fireflies' light that night. He can't look anymore. He can't stand the thought of that night. For some reason, he doesn't like the fact that Oz looks like that with Eliot. He feels so suffocated at that captivating memory of Oz.
"Why are you diverting your gaze, sensei?" Oz asked. Gilbert felt himself flinched at the name. It has been a while since he last heard Oz address him like that. He wants to approach Oz and…
"I want to ask you something, kid." Gilbert said. He can't take it anymore. "Why did you say those words that afternoon? Are those just for fun?"
Of course, he knew that Oz is serious that afternoon. He even saw Oz's tears when Gilbert flatly rejected his student. And yet, he's starting to doubt his memory because of what he sees in the present. He feels so annoyed that Oz acts like nothing happened. That he looks very happy together with Eliot. That he looks so captivating when Eliot kissed him. Gilbert feels as if Oz just pulled a prank on him that time… and now, Gilbert is suffering for it… alone.
However, he saw how Oz's expression changed. He looked as if the wound he has that never healed was just washed forcefully with salt. Oz immediately looked down and walked passed Gilbert without any word.
Gilbert, in utter distress, grabbed Oz's arms and pushed him on the wall. "Don't walk away when I'm asking you." He knew the answer. And yet, he just can't take it that Oz is being so happy with that guy even though his heart belongs to Gil. He's angry at himself for being like that, and for acting like that. He wants Oz to remain his and his alone even though Gilbert doesn't like him…
"I…" Oz started. He's still looking down. Afterwards, he looked up and smiled cutely. "That was just a joke, sensei! Of course, you didn't believe that either, right? That's why I told you to just forget it, didn't I?"
"You…" Gilbert can feel his blood boiling. He lost control of himself and choked Oz on the wall. Oz coughed and struggled but his hands are stronger. He wants to hear Oz apologize before he let go, but his grip is too tight for Oz to even call for help.
"Tell me those words you just said are unreal. Tell me. Tell me and I'll let you go." Gilbert pleaded, though no one would think that he does because of the arrogant way that he talks. Oz wants to call for help but he's slowly getting out of breath. He's feeling dizzy. He closed his eyes shut to at least ease the pain. He then felt Gilbert's lips brushed against his. Afterwards, they were gone.
"Tell me!" Gilbert yelled. He's so red with anger it'll look like he'd lost himself. Unfortunately, he did. He felt like he'll explode. He felt so crushed and defeated with those words. He wants Oz to take them back. He doesn't want to hear anything about Oz's feeling for him being an utter joke. He was even shocked when he let himself get so close to Oz's face as to make his lips brush against the kid's. Fortunately, at that moment, Break came in and saw the scene. He immediately grabbed Gilbert's arms and let Oz escape from his grasp. Oz's tears ran down his face one by one as he lost his strength and balance. His knees gave out and he stumbled sitting on the floor.
"Are you an idiot?" Break shouted to Gilbert. "Why would you do that to your student?"
Gilbert is looking down; his face is dark. He gritted his teeth but he didn't answer. He also lost balance and sat on the floor with his disheveled look. Break shook his head and approached Oz who is currently crying and trembling with fear at his teacher's behavior.
"Bezarius, can you stand?" Break asked, gentle for the first time. He feels that if he tries to ask questions, Oz will break and he will pay for it. But he still wants to know what happened despite that. Gilbert, as Break knew him, would never physically hurt someone defenseless. "Can you tell me what happened?"
Oz opened his mouth but all that came out is a muffled sound of his sobs. Gilbert looked at him in utter distress.
"Look what you've done, Gil." Break patted Oz's head. "Shh… It's alright, kid. That guy won't hurt you anymore."
In the end, Oz left without Break learning anything and Gilbert won't say a thing either.
"Do you know why that kid came here?" Break asked. "Because I sent him. I knew you'd be here during this time. I thought you two would have time to talk to each other because no one is here. And yet you… Now I'm thankful that I checked… if not, you would have killed him."
"Don't… talk to me." Gilbert muttered before going out of the room. He lit up a cigarette and walked out on the ground. He froze when he saw Oz crying on Eliot's shoulder. Eliot is hugging him tightly wearing a very pained expression.
Gilbert immediately threw his cigarette forcefully on the ground and smashed it with his foot. He left the scene with gritted teeth.