a/n: OMG-peers. You guys are awesome! I got a bunch of reviews, hits and visitors! That is so totally awesome- you don't even know. It's like you hope for it but you never think that it would actually happen. So I would just like to say- I LOVE YOU GUYS!
I especially love you if you reviewed and/or read this story or if you have read/reviewed my other story "You're my Everything" now on to chapter 2!
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song "Beside You" by Marianas Trench.
^Chapter 2: Not Beside You^
I began helping Stephanie write her script for her new movie "Frozen Heart." Her manger (A.K.A her dad), suggested to make more money she should write movies of all genres, so right now she's working on an action/romance. We wrote about ¾ of a page when I got a text from Kelly declaring that the limo had arrived.
"I don't know if I can do it Steph," I said nervously, biting my nails. She sighed with a roll of her eyes, and then pulled my hand from my mouth. "Dude. You don't have anything to worry about." I was surprised at how calm she was acting. "Nothing to worry about?" I echoed. "I have to be with them all day, work with them all day and be ignored by them all day. So if you ask me, I think that is something to worry about." "Carlos. Calm down, you'll be fine, alright. So go get 'em tiger!" She said with a shove, causing me to drop to the floor. I got up with a groan. "I won't be able to get anyone with a broken collarbone," I stated gruffly. She laughed and helped me up. "Good luck Carlos." I hope her words helped, because I knew I'd need all the luck I could get.
The ride to the studio was silent on my part. Kelly was texting rapidly on her phone while the others were having hushed conversations, their eyes glancing every so often at me. I felt as though I was in middle school again, seeing all the whispering girls stare at you, giggling, and hearing all the intimidating jocks laughing at you, pointing unashamedly. It was all too much, but I had to keep my emotions in check.
When we arrived at the studio Kelly and the guys quickly stepped out of the limo. I took a deep breath and composed myself before stepping out as well. I decided to trail behind, not wanting to draw much attention to myself. I entered the studio and as soon as I stepped foot through the door Gustavo starting yelling at us.
"DOGS! Many of your fans have been requesting you sing a cover song of a ballad. So you're going to be doing a cover of "Beside you" by Marianas Trench. KENDALL! You're parts are blue. LOGAN! You're parts are yellow. JAMES! You're parts are green. CARLOS! You're parts are orange. And for all of you to sing together it is purple. Get it? Got it? GOOD! NOW GET IN THE STUDIO!" We all did as we were told.
Kendall
When your tears are spent
On your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense
James
When it's in your spine
Like you've walked for miles
And the only thing you want is just, to be still for a while
All
(Oh way oh way oh ohh, oh way oh way ohh)
Kendall
And if your heart wears thin
I will hold you up
And I will hide you, when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you; I'll be right beside you
Logan
You're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath
And the space between the things you know, are burning none-the-less
When you try to speak… but you make no sound
And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so late!
Kendall
And if your heart wears thin
I will hold you up
James
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you; I'll be right beside you. I will stay, nobody will break you. Yeah
Carlos
Trust me, trust me, don't pull away!
Just trust me trust me, I'm just trying to keep us together
'Cause I could do worse and you could do better!
Tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense
James
And if your heart wears thin
Logan
I will hold you up and I will hide you when it gets too much
Carlos
I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you, nobody will break you
Kendall
And if your heart wears thin
I will hold you up
And I will hide you, if it gets too much
All
I'll be right beside you, nobody will break you
I poured my heart and soul into that song. Why? I don't know. I feel that since the only person in regular contact with me is Stephanie, I have to use music and my newly-found career as my release.
As the song ended I took my hand off the side of the headphones, waiting for Gustavo to yell my ears off, telling us of the things we did wrong. Instead, he just sat there, his hands folded on his large belly. I began to twiddle my thumbs, another nervous habit of mine. Gustavo began to speak, making my heart beat quickly. "THAT! … Wasn't so bad, actually that was probably the best thing you've ever sung. Especially you Carlos." It took me a moment for my brain to comprehend what he'd said. "Me?" I asked pointing at myself. "Yes you. Now I don't give out compliments a lot so don't expect this to happen again, but you sounded so raw during your solos. Good job." I slightly blushed at the unexpected compliment. "Thanks," I mumbled looking down.
The rest of the day was in a word… scary. We recorded harmonies and layers for the cover all day along with practicing our choreography with Mr. X, but ever since we did our first recording I noticed that James was staring me down. Actually, it was an intense glare. All day I felt the hateful eyes bearing a hole into the small of my back; but I tried to ignore it for the most part.
"Dogs you are excused for the day," Gustavo bellowed. Kendall and Logan immediately rushed out of the door and into the limo, seemingly having race. I sighed and picked myself up from the floor. I started for the door when James stopped me. "Carlos," he called. For some reason I felt afraid. For some reason I felt my blood run cold. It was weird, I've never been afraid of James before. "Yes?" I asked timidly. "What were you doing back there?" I tilted my head to the side, wondering what he was talking about. "Huh?" "You totally stole my spotlight! One minute you're the worst singer on the universe and then you steal my one chance and truly impressing Gustavo! You know as well as anyone that that song was perfect for my vocal range! Why do you keep messing things up for me?" I tried to interject but he beat me to the punch. "You know what? Forget it. It's whatever now."
He walked away leaving me standing there feeling really sad. I should've known. Even when I'm trying my best not to upset anyone, I do it anyway!
The comment about my singing was a pretty bad blow. I know before Big Time Rush I wasn't the best singer, but I didn't think that the worst singer on the universe was an appropriate term to use.
My thoughts were swarming in my head, making me feel dizzy. I sat onto the white couch and put my head in my hands. 'Ugh' I thought. 'I can NEVER to anything RIGHT! No matter how hard I try I always end of messing things up for everyone! I should just stop trying… forever. I SHOULD JUST' "Carlos." I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name being called. I looked up and saw that Kelly was looking at me with worried eyes.
"Hey Kelly," I said with a sigh. "Carlos, what's the matter? Why aren't you on your way home with the others?" she asked. "I have a slight headache and needed to sit down for a while," I half-lied. I did have a headache, but I was also avoiding the guys. "… Carlos. Is something wrong? You're unusually quiet today, and there seems to be a lot of tension between you and the boys," she stated. "You have no idea," I mumbled under my breath. "What's the matter? Come on Carlos you can tell me." I looked into her eyes, knowing I could trust her. "I've messed up my friendship with James, Kendall and Logan," I complained dejectedly. "They're tired of me messing up and making everything go wrong for them… so now they've pretty much dropped me." I stared at my feet, tears in my eyes; but I willed myself not to cry. "Oh, Carlos," Kelly exclaimed throwing her skinny arms around my broad shoulders. "Don't worry honey, soon they'll realize how stupid they're being and come and apologize. I promise," she declared confidently. It's funny; she's the second person that's said that. But now I'm having doubting thoughts. "Thanks Kelly," I said plastering a completely fake smile onto my face. "Anytime Carlos, now go home." I nodded and headed to the limo.
Gone. The limo was gone. I walked outside to where the limo always is, and I find the spot completely empty; as if it was never taken up at all. I stood there; shocked. Maybe they have decided to drive completely out of my life. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they did.
Wahhhhhh! There I have accomplished chapter 2 after… about 5 hours of writing, re-writing and editing! This chapter goes out to my reviewers because you guys are extremely awesome and I love you! Which is why I am giving you all… virtual Snuggies! LOL you too can get a virtual Snuggie… if you review! Wait! You can get an additional Snuggie if you review my other story! So go do that now! LOL ok until next time… later peepz.
BTW I am SO SORRY for not updating earlier! FF was being a derk (dick+jerk) so yeah! Sorry ttyl!