a/n: Okay so before you come after me with your sharp…pointy… and flaming things *gulps* I can explain. You see when I was getting ready to post the chapter, the wi-fi in my house decided not to work. When it finally came back a few days later, my computer decided to get a virus. Making me lose ALL of my work. The only got thing I got outta this was that I keep all my FF stories on my iPod too. I'm SO sorry that is weeks late and I hardly think that this makes up for it but I hope the next one does! So enjoy chapter 5 of Sticks and Stones.

Oh yeah! Big props to Anonymous Skrtle, CheekyBrunette, Hikari no Kasai, bluestring, Supporterrrr, whatsinyourwallet and Robin-n-Hoodie for reviewing, favouriting and alerting this story. You guys rock eh! (I'm feeling really Canadian right now)

Now on to the story.

_-_Chapter 5: Not Getting Any Easier_-_

It's been two months since I've been ditched, and there was still no change. If there was though, it must've been that they hate me even more.

Over the course of those 2 months I've developed a schedule. I've almost never had a schedule. I usually just go with the flow, but now it's completely different.

8:00: Wake up

8:00– 8:20: Teeth brushing/showering

8:20- 9:00: Hang out with Stephanie and/or Katie

9:00- 4:00: Be at Rocque Records

4:00- 7:00: Hang out with Stephanie and/or Katie (again)

7:00- 8:30: Chill in the apartment

8:30- 10:00: Draw whatever I'm feeling

10:00: Go to bed

Repeat

This is my new schedule. It's pretty lame. Before my friends hated me I never had a schedule. The only bit of schedule I had was when I had to go to school (which starts in less than a month).

This summer has been so hard for me. I've never gone a week without the guys, much less a whole summer. I've become more independent and for that I'm grateful, but at the cost of losing my best friends? I would've rather depended on people.

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I've been at Rocque Records all day today, my thoughts elsewhere. Lately I've been thinking about my grandmother and siblings. I couldn't stand being without them for so long, and for that I was lost in my own world. And apparently… Gustavo noticed.

"All of you are dismissed for today." We all breathed a huge sigh of relief and began to walk out of the studio. "EXCEPT FOR YOU!" We all turned to see that he was pointing at me. The other guys sighed and gave me harsh glances, in which I responded by looking down.

When they all left Kelly closed the door behind them and turned to me along with Gustavo.

"CARLOS! Is there a reason why you particularly SUCK TODAY?" I sighed and looked down again. "I-I guess I just got a little distracted today Gustavo. It won't happen again, I promise," I said dejectedly.

"It better not! DISMISSED!" he shouted with his usual booming voice. I walked out of the recording studio and headed for the car. I was passing by the white couches when Kelly stopped me.

"Is there something wrong Carlos? Is it the guys?" she questioned, concern lacing her delicate voice.

"Nah, not this time," I replied with a small smile. "I'm just a little homesick is all." She looked at me skeptically before nodding slowly.

"Okay hun. But if anything else is bothering you don't hesitate to tell me alright?" I nodded before bidding her a quick ado and heading to the car.

I knew that if the guys would ditch me once that they would do it again. So with that thinking I decided to use the BTR Mobile. Mrs. Knight drives her rental mini-van and the guys use the limo. So with Mama Knight's permission, I used the car to drive to work and anywhere else I needed to go.

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I arrived at the hotel in record time. Stephanie was sick, and her dad strictly said "No visitors". I decided to follow his warnings and headed to the apartment to get my swim stuff.

15 minutes later I had my purple and black swim shorts on with my black muscle shirt. I also had my sketchbook and iPod with me.

After entering the pool area I scanned the whole place. In "our" area Logan was reading a medical book that he had been engrossed with for the past couple of days. Kendall was talking to Jo and James was unashamedly flirting with Rachael.

'Guess he had no problem winning her back,' I thought. I noticed that the chair that I used to take up was empty, as if everyone was waiting for me to occupy it. I sighed, knowing that wasn't going to happen.

I then stalked over to an empty cabana, just wanting to be by myself. I popped my iPod ear buds in my ears and pressed play. Some Spanish song that I didn't remember the name of came on. I sang along before I found myself drawing my deceased mother. I missed her so much. I decided to draw her head and shoulders, going from bottom to top.

Her shoulders we small and delicate, unlike mine as they were large and broad. I spent awhile getting them perfect before moving on to her neck which was like her shoulders, small and delicate.

My mom, as well as myself, dad and siblings, had a dog chain around her neck. When my parents decided that 3 kids were enough and that they weren't going to have anymore, they got us all matching dog chains. They each had out names and birthdates on the front, a picture of all of us on the back. I fingered my necklace. This was one of the last things I had of her. I drew my mom's necklace, making sure to get every single detail right.

Her face was exactly like mine, but a female version of it. We both had dimples in our cheeks that only showed when we smiled. Her chin was pointy but suits her face well. Her large smile reached her chocolate brown eyes that showed nothing but pure happiness and joy. Her eyelashes were naturally long and her eyebrows were perfectly sculpted, which was difficult to get right. Her nose was small and short.

My favourite thing about her was her hair. It was long, sleek and black, with the tiniest hint of brown. It was straight, but I liked when it was slightly curled, making it a bit wavy. When I was younger I loved to play with my mom's hair. When I got older I would brush it and comb it. Sometimes she would even let me braid it. My sister Marissa taught me how and it stuck with me.

I was so focused on my drawing and my music that I didn't notice that someone had joined me until they tapped my shoulder.

I jumped about 10 feet in the air, dropping my pencil on the table. I turned around quickly and saw Jo sitting next to me with an amused grin on her face.

Immediately I glanced towards Kendall who was giving me a look that clearly said "Don't you dare try anything." I gulped before turning back to Jo.

"What was that for?" I asked jokingly. "I didn't do anything," she said, batting her brown eyelashes. We laughed together. "What're you doing over here all by yourself?" she questioned, peering over the drawing that I was quick to cover up.

"N-nothing. I was doing nothing," I replied quickly. "Really? Because I saw you focusing on a drawing," she stated bluntly. "Well then you must be seeing things." She rolled her eyes. "Please? Please can I see?" she asked, making her eyes wide. I tried to resist but failed epically.

"Fine," I sighed. "Yay!" she cheered clapping. I pushed the book over to her and she searched through it.

"You drew these?" I needed, blushing. "These are amazing… they're so beautiful," she breathed. "Thanks."

"Who's that?" she asked. My breath hitched before I answered. "My mom," I replied quietly.

"You're mom…" she repeated. "She looks just like you. Where is she? Is she in Minnesota?" I could feel my eyes beginning to glaze over.

"In a way… she's at the cemetery." I could see her trying to figure out what I meant. Suddenly her eyes widened.

"Oh…Oh my God… I-I'm so sorry," she said, giving me a hug. "S'okay," I replied, looking over her shoulder at Kendall. He had his arms crossed and his eyes were in slits. I pulled away, looking her in the eyes. "Thanks." She nodded.

I stood up and started picking up my stuff. "I'm gonna head upstairs. See ya Jo." "See ya Carlos."

When I got in the elevator I leaned against the back wall and closed my eyes. This was getting harder and harder.

a/n: Yeah that was short and an epic fail. Again I'm SO sorry that this was so late. So if you would please put your weapons down I would really appreciate it.

Any ideas are welcome and reviews are greatly accepted. Until next time.

Later peeps.