Never Again-Harry Potter-James & Lily-Chapter 8-Loved an Un-loved
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The quiet bubbling of the potion was calming, it had been a month since James's accident and Snape had been hiding out in the dungeon; making potion after potion. He sighed and flipped a page in his textbook, before pulling out a quill and scrawling something hurriedly into the parchment.
He paused, closing his eyes and screwing up his forehead as pondered the question. When unexpectedly an intoxicating smell hit him like a punch in the gut. The smell of strawberries and honey filled his nostrils, and unless someone was making a batch of Amormetia, he knew who it was.
He could already picture her long auburn hair that he ached to run his fingers threw. Her startling green eyes that shone in the sun, he yearned to gaze for hours on end into those lovely eyes. It was almost killing him to imagine those pink supple lips that he wanted to kiss and smile up at him.
He inhaled sharply, his back arching as he heard her footsteps pass him by. His eyelids fluttered open and he was not at all surprised to see her back was to him, collecting ingredients from the potions cupboard. She glanced behind her, catching his adoring gaze she sent him a venomous glare, almost ripping his chest in half.
Lowering his head he stared at the open book blankly, his mind filled with glorious memories of the two of them together. The click of her shoes woke him from his dream, his chest now feeling somewhat emptier and hollow then before. He was most surprised when she stopped by his bench, clearing her throat for his attention.
He looked up at her hopefully, his dark eyes wide and vulnerable. But he was met with a cold hard stare, she raised an arm and pointed to his cauldron, "Your potion is ruined," she stated flatly, before turning on her heel and striding out the door, not glancing back once to see her former friend slump his shoulders and sigh.
Snape glanced at his smouldering cauldron, flicking his wand at it he muttered, "Scourgify." "I'm such a fucking pussy," he thought bitterly to himself, "If only she loved me like I love her," he wished wistfully, gazing at the door behind him. But what Snape didn't know was that Lily was leaning against that same door, her eyes closed and her heart pounding.
Her mind was filled of the days when Petunia was still her best friend and Snape was the one person she could rely on. "Now everything's changed," she said quietly, wishing that her childhood friend had been put in anything but Slytherin. Composing herself, she walked down the dungeon corridors, the ingredients clutched tightly in her hands.
"It's so lucky Snape didn't look up," she mused, her eyes darting from side to side anxiously. As she neared the end of the corridor she quickened her pace, almost running down the hall. Halfway down an endless corridor moments later, a crack erupted behind her, causing her to scream loudly and drop the ingredients to the floor with a loud clatter.
She turned slowly, her eyes welling with disappointed tears; she just knew that McGonagall would expel her for stealing ingredients. A deep familiar laugh caused her to glance up curiously, astonished to find all four Marauders standing next to an open one-eyed witch statue, each doubled over with laughter.
Huffing, she bent and picked up the fallen ingredients, before stomping over to where they stood. "Don't look so amused," she snapped, sending a death glare at them all. She stepped on Sirius's foot hard, causing his loud chuckles to be cut short. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist; she looked up at his smiling face, her face breaking into a sweet grin similar to his.
"May I ask as to why the fuck you came out of a statue?" she asked bluntly, attempting to peer behind Sirius's broad shoulders. "It's a shortcut to Honeydukes," James whispered into her ear quietly, sending shivers down her spine. "Honeydukes?" she asked confused, "Why would you need to go to Honeydukes?"
"That's for me to know darling, and you to find out," Sirius called behind him as he walked off, Remus and Peter trailing after him, their arms filled with bundled up goods. "We're all alone," James breathed, lightly brushing his fingers on the skin of her arms. She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and standing on the tips of her toes so that they were at eye level
. "You're so tall," she murmured quietly, running her fingers through his raven hair. He pressed his lips to hers fiercely, clutching her closer as he devoured her soft supple lips. She moaned quietly and she felt him chuckle beneath her, his chest rumbling as he moved. He ran his tongue against her bottom lip, desire bursting from her every pore.
She opened her mouth willingly, gasping as his tongue invaded her mouth; exploring everything. Her hands moved to grip his shirt tighter, pressing her body closer to his. His tanned calloused hands slipped under her shirt, grasping her waist firmly. Anyone could find them, anyone could see them; but she didn't care, she had him.
A yell was heard and James was yanked off Lily and thrown back against the wall with a crash. Lily shrieked, whipping round and pointing her wand at the attacker. Her eyes widened before replacing with fury as she recognised his greasy black hair and long hooked nose. "Snape," James bellowed, staggering forward, his wand raised menacingly.
"James no," she cried, moving forward to stop her furious boyfriend. James avoided her stepping closer to Snape, "PERTRIFICUS TOTALUS," he roared. Lily watched in fear as Snape's half attempted shield charm shattered and he froze, dropping to the floor with a loud thud.
"Filthy, vile, little shit," James fumed, storming over to where Snape lay. Lily cried out in disgust James stomped on Snape's nose, causing it to crack and flow with blood. Lily shrieked in surprise and stepped forward, pushing James out of the way. "Episkey," she cried, pointing her wand at Snape's mangled nose, he groaned in pain as the bones snapped back into place.
She heard James huff loudly and curse under his breath as he stormed off, his angry footsteps echoing off the walls. Lily hung her head, she felt guilty in helping Snape. "Thank you," Snape said, staggering upward, his arm reaching out to clasp hers. She flinched and stepped back hastily, fixing him with a foul glare.
"I didn't do it for you," she hissed quietly, her eyes turned into slits. "I did it for him," with that she strode off, biting her lip to keep her tears at bay. Snape sighed and moved forward slowly, his back aching from being thrown to the floor. "How she puts up with that wanker, I'll never know," he thought angrily as he attempted to dust off his cloak.
He turned on his heel and walked off down the corridor, his mind once again filled with thoughts of Lily. Suddenly his thoughts turned violent and he stormed down the hall, glaring at people who dared to look at him. The fury inside of him was a raging monster.
Filling his head with thoughts of ripping that ridiculous hair off Potter's smirking head, his heartbeat was deafening in his ears and his breath was coming out in short puffs. Glancing down at his school robes absent-mindly, smoothing the crinkles out, his rage cooling to bitter resentment. He felt his heart tighten as he pulled off a single lock of red hair of his cloak.
He cradled it gently in the palm of his hand, his mind going back to the time her first fell in love with Lily's magnificent hair.
"Severus come one," Lily called, giggling as they scurried up the sloping hill.
"Coming," Severus called a grin on his face as he scrambled to keep up with her. He loved days like this, when there was no House rivalry and Petunia wasn't being a pain in the ass. He gazed upon her as she rambled on about what Petunia did today; he loved how her hair was the colour of fire and how it hung gracefully at the edge of her waist.
He felt a silly smile creep itself onto his face and he wished that he could wrap his arms around her, just to hold her for that little while. Lily giggled at something funny she had said and Snape felt his heart tighten. Who knew that one could find love at such a young age, for he had already found it, but he knew that Lily would never love him.
But somewhere deep inside of him, somewhere far and hidden was a secret. A secret that one day he would do anything for this young girl in front of him, for he loved her, with all his heart. "Severus, are you even listening to me?" she asks impatiently, her eyebrows furrowing as she stares at the boy before her.
"Of course," he replies, his face attempting to look innocent. She smiles and the boy grins, but she knows that he wasn't, for he usually isn't. "Come on, let's look for funny clouds," she states, already lowering herself to the ground. Severus immediately follows, hastily trying to level his head with Lily's.
His mouth opened to tell her everything, all the feelings inside that were threatening to bubble over like a rotten potion. But he stopped, clamping his mouth shut. For he could already hear her answer, that he was her friend and nothing more and that she had no sort of feelings for him.
So instead he lay back down and enjoyed the moment, and he was glad he did.
"Severus," a high cold voice called, snapping Snape out of his memory. He whipped round, closing his fist around the lock of Lily's hair he still held. "What's that in your hand?" Malfoy asked coolly, strutting towards his fellow Slytherin. "Nothing," Snape answered hesitantly, sliding his clenched fist into his trouser pocket.
"Are you sure Severus?" Malfoy asks mockingly, his gaze flicking to Snape's trouser pocket. "Nothing you want to share? Nothing to do with that mudblood of yours?" Snape flinches inwardly, but recovers instantly. "No," he replies, looking steadily into Malfoys cold grey eyes.
"That's quite a shame Severus, we thought you had a run in with those Gryffindor's, I'm sure the Dark Lord would be happy to hear you have some information about them," Malfoy finishes, pausing to stare at Snape. "I, I do have something," Snape stammers hesitantly.
"Oh come now Severus, I knew you were close to the mudblood, but I thought you were man enough to not like her," he laughed mockingly, his grin becoming wider as the group behind him joined in. Snape felt his blood boil, and he glared at Malfoy viciously. "I have no feelings whatsoever for that filthy mudblood," he spits, his eyes turning to glare at the rest of the Slytherins.
"In fact, I have a plan to destroy that wretched bitch and that fuckhead Potter," He opened his palm for the others to see the lock of hair resting in his hand, the strand catching the ray of sun as it filtered through the window.
Avery raised an eyebrow beside him, "Her hair," he said dumbfounded, "What the fuck are we going to do with a piece of hair." Malfoy just rolled his eyes irratedly, "Don't be a fucking fool Avery, we can make a plan using Polyjuice Potion," he snaps coldly, his eyes shining evilly.
"The Dark Lord will be ever so pleased," Bellatrix hissed from behind Malfoy, her grin sending odd shivers down his spine.
Everyone murmured in agreement and Snape felt his spirits lift. Finally he was accepted; finally he was one of them, of something.
As Snape walked off with the rest of them, plotting their revenge on the Gryffindor 6th years, he felt his heart tighten. He was turning more and more into what Lily hated most, and it was killing him. Brushing it aside hastily he strode forward, his head spinning with ideas to ruin Potter forever.
James slid against the stone wall slowly, coming to a complete stop at the floor, where he sprawled carelessly.
Pressing his hands against the sides of his face he gulped in air anxiously, trying in vain to calm down his racing heart. He could still see the look of horror on Lily's face as he hurt Snape, he could still hear her piercing scream that made him shiver and he could feel the horrible sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised what he had done.
"How can she stand to look at me?" He breathed quietly, gazing grimly at the marble floor. He felt her cool hands grip his moments later, her long auburn hair tickling his face as she curled up next to him. "James," she whispered, watching as her boyfriend avoided her gaze and gripped her closer.
"I'm an animal," he choked out, burying his face into the warm crook of her neck. She smiled forlornly, running your fingers affectionately through his hair. "No," she soothed, "You're no animal James, and I know how furious you get when Snape is around." "That still doesn't explain my actions, I was way out of line," he cried, tearing at his hair frantically.
"I'm out of control," "No James he started it, for no reason, so just forget about it," she whispered, hugging him close to calm him down. "I love you," he murmured suddenly, bringing his face to stare intently at hers. "You're too good for me, I love you so much," he breathed tracing the lines of her face admirably, gazing into her emerald eyes.
He pressed his lips to hers softly, although this time his kiss was full of love and trust, she pulled away blushing, an enormous smile on her face. "You're such a sap," she laughed, shoving him lightly in the shoulder. "But you love me," he answered with a grin, laughter once again in his glass rimmed eyes.
Lily sighed, dropping her head into her hands in frustration. "Alright love?" James called softly, his gaze never leaving the book before him as he squeezed her hand from across the table. "I hate Transfiguration, how are you so good?" she groaned, closing her eyes as if in pain.
"But you get good marks," James said, his brow wrinkling in confusion. "Borderline pass," she grumbled moodily, "Alice is the wiz at Transfiguration and we used to study together, but not anymore." "What did you guys have a row or something?" he asked, closing the book before him to lean closer, his gaze now serious.
"What no," Lily replied with a laugh, "she just spends all her free time with Frank," she explained, frowning slightly. "I can tutor you," he offered, a lopsided grin blinding her momentarily. 'Damn him and his charming ways,' she cursed silently, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.
"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly, secretly crossing her fingers beneath the table. "Of course Lils," he sang, reaching over and pressing a small kiss to her temple. "Now show me that essay Miss Evans, I'm a master at this subject," he gloated, snatching her parchment out of her hands.
She let out a breath contently as she watched him blab on and on about Transfiguration. She loved the way he would always mess up his hair, how the sparkle in his eye gleamed when he talked enthusiastically about something. She loved how sometimes in class or during dinner, he would turn to her with a secret smile that was just for her.
She loved the small kisses he would give her when no one was looking, or how he would wrap his arms around her, as if to show the world that she was his. She loved all the small things about him that made him James. She studied his broad shoulders, his long lean neck, his strong jaw and she finally got to his pink lips; which were twitching.
She looked up into his hazel eyes to see that they were bright and sparkling with amusement. "See something you like Evans?" He teased, winking suggestively. Lily's face flushed, but she continued to stare. "Now Lily, if you keep checking me out all the time you're not going to learn anything," he scolded her lightly.
His face turned mock serious and he waggled a tanned finger in her face. "Now, now Ms Evans," he quipped, pushing his glasses up his nose. Lily giggled and scooted closer, a determined look in her eyes. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him close, until his ear was level with her lips.
She kissed the soft flesh gently, giggling as he stiffened. "Professor," she breathed, smirking as he gulped nervously, "I think I need some help out in one of the broom cupboards," she nibbled on his ear.
"Oh of course Ms Evans," he stammered, pulling her to her feet. With a flick of his wand their belongings soared into their bags and with a quick yank they were hurrying out of the library, ignoring looks from other students as the whipped by. "My, my Professor" she mused with a laugh as they stopped at a nearby broom cupboard, "Eager are we?" she asked with a smirk.
James answered her with a grin and yanked the door open, pushing them both into the space before them. Before the door even opened James pulled Lily to him, crushing her against his chest. Tingling heat coursed through his body as he kissed her harder and deeper, running his hands through her long hair.
She arched her back and tilted her head backward and kissed him back she felt dizzy and lightheaded. He kissed her hard and passionately, responding with such intensity that she felt like she could fly off. James's lips moved down to her neck, sucking on a pressure point.
Lily moaned and pressed herself closer to him as he ran his hand up her thigh. A loud banging on the door interrupted them and Lily pushed James back fiercely, straightening her clothes anxiously. James just sighed and flattened his shirt, pushing his hair out of his eyes.
"Dear lord you two, hurry up," a voice yelled, banging again on the broom cupboard door. James stuck his head outside the door and Lily could hear his deep chuckle. He glanced back to look at her and pulled her close, "It's just Remus," he whispered, kissing her softly.
"Alright then, let's go back to Gryffindor tower," she replied. She ignored the looks from Remus as they clambered out of the cupboard, for she didn't care. At this moment, right now, she was truly happy. She was both astonished and baffled that the reason she was happy was of James Potter; the boy she swore she would never go out with.
She stopped suddenly at the portrait of the Fat Lady and turned to him, grinning like a nutter. "What is it?" he asks, an identical smile adorning his face. "I love you," she whispers quietly, staring into his eyes adoringly. "I love you too," he replies, kissing her lips softly, "And I always will."
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