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I
The rain lashed down on the beaten streets of New York City, the sky a murky grey. A wintery chill hovered in the air as the sea of strangers ploughed their way down the sidewalk, each on their own mission. Kate Beckett stumbled blindly out onto the city street, ducking into the nearest alleyway, her heart pounding. She couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in and her means of escape were getting smaller and smaller. She fell back, smashing into the concrete wall, the pain a distant thought. She felt nothing, nothing but the numbness of her heart. Images of a despairing past bombarded her mind, stealing her breath, leaving her gasping. The hanger. Montgomery. Lockwood. The cemetery. Castle. The endless blinding pain. The images rotating around and around so fast Kate had the sudden urge to throw up. Her scar pulled tightly against her sternum, a reminder of a painful past, a tormenting memory.
He had lied to her. He had told her to stop looking. He had wanted her to live, to find that happiness she deserved. It was all a lie. A complete and absolute lie. Castle had pursued the case instead, putting his life in danger – his family in danger. All for her. She couldn't let him do that. The last thing he had ever said to her before she had passed out last year came drifting back. Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate. He had told her he loved her and she had ignored him for three long months.
She pushed off the wall and walked straight back in the direction of Castle's apartment, her resolve made. Angry yells and dirty looks trailed after her as she pushed and shoved her way through the bustling crowd. Time was of the essence.
Her foot tapped impatiently against the elevator floor. The soft tick of her watch echoed around the small space, taunting her. This was one time Kate Beckett was not a poster child for patience. Before the doors of the elevator were fully open Kate was already out and knocking on Castle's door.
It felt as though an age had passed before the front door of Castle's apartment inched open revealing the face of a very distraught looking Castle. She smiled at him meekly as she watched his expression shift from despair to shock to happiness. His mouth opening and closing like a floundering fish.
'Kate,' Castle said, surprised. 'Look I'm sorry-'
Before he was able to finish his sentence Kate had stepped across the threshold, her hand curling around the front of his shirt pulling him towards her until her lips grazed his. The shock lasted a mere second until Castle's fingers curved around her face and moulded themselves in her hair. She tried to deepen the kiss, her tongue brushing against his swollen lips testing the waters, awaiting entrance. The kiss fuelling the fire that had built up in her heart. She wanted this and she wanted this badly.
'Are... are you sure about this? I mean... I...' Castle whispered pulling his head back to get a clear view of his face.
'Shut up Castle and kiss me,' Kate said as their mouths crashed together once more, each vying for dominance and neither winning.
Castle reached out until his hand made contact with the door, slamming it shut with a resounding thud. His hand quickly moulded itself along Kate's thigh, pulling it slowly to his hip, the rough feel of her jeans grazing the small section of bare skin at his side. Her arms wound their way around his neck, never breaking the kiss, clasping her legs around his waist. Castle staggered forward slightly, a short grunt echoing from the base of his throat, pressing her against the door, every curve of her slender body moulded into every hard line of his.
'Too... many... clothes,' Kate mumbled against the feel of Castle's lips, her hands clawing at the buttons of his shirt. The soft ping echoed around the quiet space as each button popped and fell to the ground with a faint clatter; ripping the offending piece of clothing off of Castle's body.
He trailed soft kisses down her neck, pausing to suck at a tender spot eliciting a soft moan to escape from Kate's lips. His hands wandered up her body, under the soft feel of the cotton fabric, her skin warm and teasing. Kate bucked her hips against Castle's growing bulge sending a spasm of fire through them both. Years and years of sexual tension bowed down to this moment, to this precipice in time.
Kate ran her hands through his dark chestnut hair, seeing nothing but love and adoration in his eyes causing her heart to quicken and her breath to catch. This is the man who stood by her waited, waited for so long. A pang of guilt flooded her heart. He didn't know. He didn't know she knew. He had laid his secrets out on the table and she had clutched hers closer. He deserved more. Whatever this was, they couldn't do it, not with that knowledge lurking in the shadows, hanging over her head at every moment. They had come so far and she was going to break his heart.
'Castle?'
'Mmm,' he hummed at the base of her neck, his hand rubbing against the underside of her breast leaving a wave of heat in their wake.
'I remember,' she murmured, her confession coming out barely a whisper.
She waited. She waited for the backlash, for the rage but it never came.
'I know,' he whispered catching her mouth with his own in her moment of surprise. Tongue lashed against tongue, fire with fire and the blaze burned brighter than ever. 'I know and I don't care. We're here and that's all that matters.'
A/N: This is part one of two. The next chapter should hopefully be up in the next few days so leave some loveeeee xD