A/N: Some of you were excited about the Plumber's Helpers. Let me just say this: when I say everyone, I mean everyone. I'm not sure if all of you quite got that or not...

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A four-year-old Kevin walked down the stairs. His mother had requested that he get her a drink out of the fridge in the basement. It was kept down there because it was alcohol and everyone knew how terrified of the basement he was. The whole place was utterly horrifying for him. Dark, lonely, damp... dark... Kevin really hated the dark.

So he put on a brave face and headed down, clinging onto the railing attached to the wall to keep his balance. He really didn't want to fall. The stairs were steep and the floor was concrete. He hated falling down stairs.

The shadows seemed to jump out at him. His heart thundered in his chest. He just wanted to turn and run back upstairs and scream bloody murder. Kevin hated the basement.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned to go find the fridge. He wasn't tall enough to reach all the lights. They were on pull-chains and he was a horribly short child. Puberty would be kind to him later.

A shadow shifted. He spun. The light cast ghosts upon the grey concrete walls. Kevin just wanted to run. He'd probably fall up the stairs that way, but it was better than being eaten by the Boogie Man.

Shapes seemed to be morphing in the blackness, monsters coming to life before the small boy's obsidian eyes, making him more and more horrified. Not to mention the fact that he didn't even know where the dang refrigerator even was.

And a shadow jumped out at him.

He screamed bloody murder and started whacking whatever was in front of him in hopes to either fend it off or die trying.

"Kevin!" laughed Devin, ruffling his son's hair and smiling in triumph as his wife came clamoring down the stairs at full-speed to see what was wrong with her son at the sound of his terrified scream. "Good to see you're no longer afraid of the basement!"

"Devin, you made him cry," hissed his ebony-haired wife, now kneeling at Kevin's level to tend to him the way a mother should. Her eyes narrowed to slits as she stared up at her son's father. "What were you thinking?"

"He's not crying!" protested Devin, smiling proudly like he had just run a marathon and won the whole thing. "He's laughing with joy!"

Kevin cried harder. It was still dark down there. He hated the dark. And the Boogie Man.

"Devin..."

"Oh, maybe you are right... Maybe he is crying... Kevin, are you crying?"

Kevin didn't answer. Tears just spilled down his face and sobs racked his tiny, fragile body.

"Yes, I declare that he is laughing! He loves the basement!" With that, Devin charged back upstairs to the football game he had left on the tv.

"Kevin Ethan Levin, remember one thing," said the boy's mother, wiping the tear trails from his pudgy cheeks.

The boy looked to his mother expectantly, eyes wide as more tears spilled out.

"Your father is an imbecile."

A/N: Oh, Devin… Really, his accent makes this hilarious. I love Devin's accent. So review and thanks for reading!

~Sky